Natasha
I knocked on the door of the Jahan's. I prayed to God that Harif doesn't opened it.I don't think I can face him especially after what happened between us the last time I saw him. I take deep breaths and hear someone approaching. Plastering a smile on my face the door opened and I was staring into the eyes of the man I wanted to avoid at all costs.
Fuck!!
To say he was shocked to see me was an understatement but the bastard hid it well. He's always good at concealing his feelings. He has this haughty air about him and if he wasn't so fucking good looking and if I wasn't so damn in love with him I would have punched the haughtiness out of him.
Arrogant fucker.!!
"Natasha.What a surprise!.How may I help you?" He folded his arms and just stood in the doorway as if he fucking owned the place. He has his own place but still has a room in his parent's home. Even Medina who lives next door does. God how I envy them all for their closeness.
"Well you can step aside for a start as I've come here to see Uncle Jahan, Mamma and Sarina."
I reply with a bit of attitude.
I don't know why but he always get under my skin. I fucking hate it..but that's never gonna change.I've been in love with him aslong as I can remember. I know it and the fucker knows it too. Well he didn't.. but last week changed everything.
Shit..I don't want to think about that.
"Well do come in..Abu Jan and Mamma are in the living room but Sarina I'm afraid has gone out". He then steps aside to let me pass.
I enter and make a show of not touching him. He notices and his lips twitch.
Fucker, better not be fucking finding this funny.
"Thank You Dr Harif!'' I emphasises the Dr Deliberately.
It pisses him off when I call him that as I sound so patronizing and believe me I do... I love his reaction..flared nostrils..(A Jahan trait) and the clenching of his Jaw.
Making my way to the Living room I can't help but be aware of him behind me. He has this affect on me and as much as I hate it I also love it. It makes me feel sexy as fuck as I know that he's probably checking me out. I can't help but smirk. Dr Harif may not have feelings for me but he sure the hell loves checking me out lately for the past few years since he has been back from his studies.
I enter the room and I see two of my favourite people in the whole world sitting next to each other watching the Pakistani news channel. I roll my eyes and smile.
"Uh miserable news from Pakistan! . Uncle Jahan you make my poor Mamma watch this with you..is this what you call romantic time". I stand in the doorway with my hands on my hips.
They both look across at me and I see the smile appear on their faces. God I love them. They always make me feel welcome..feel loved ..unlike their bloody son.
"They both get up and I walk up to them. I hug Uncle Jahan and he taps me on the head a few times in a fatherly gesture then I melt into Mamma's arms. She puts her arms around me and I feel as if I'm home.
Mamma's arms always had that effect on me. She makes me feel so special. She's what I've always wanted in a mother. I blink back the stupid tears.. .shit.. soon I'm crying. She just holds on to me and lets me cry.
When I've finally collected myself she leads me up to the sofa and she sits me with her putting her arms around me.
"Tasha Loohri..What's the matter?..why you so sad?." Mamma wipes away my tears using her Hijab.
I smile at her and then at Uncle Jahan..I refused to look at their son who is sitting on the other sofa.
"I came here to let you both know that I'm leaving and I'm going to miss you so much..you ha.."
"What do you mean your leaving Loohri?" Uncle Jahan asks me with concern.
Mamma grabs my hands and waits for my answer squeezing my hands softly.
"I need to leave..I want to go away for just a while..take a break from things". I replied softly.
"Are you sure it's that loohri?..or are you having troubles with your mother again?". Mamma asks me gently.
Shit..My mother is another person I want to avoid. I look at Mamma and blink back tears. She knows me so well , better than my useless excuse of a mother. I wish she was my mom. I always thought Medina was so lucky in having such great parents. They truly are the best. They have such wonderful children who they love and are loved back.
I quickly glance at their son and I see him flaring his nostrils and clenching his Jaw. He's pissed I can tell. I'm so pathetic that I can practically read all his expressions. I know when he's pleased, sad,worried.. I can even tell when he's being a sarcastic dick, I also know when he's keeping his temper in check..his doing it right now.
What the Fuck is wrong with him.?
I quickly avert my gaze when he continues staring at me. Does he have to be prone to all that I'm feeling. He makes me feel as if I'm a lab experiment that he wants to decipher. His intense gaze makes me flustered and not in a good way as he has made it perfectly clear that he doesn't want anything to do with me.
Apart from last week though..where he lost control for the first time in his life around me and t....
Shit I refuse to think about that. I won't or else I Will read to much into it and my resolve in leaving will crumble.
"I don't know Mamma. I haven't seen her in eight months." I spat out bitterly.
"Tasha loohri..What have I said to you when your mother goes away....I've told you on numerous occasions to come here." Uncle Jahan scolds me firmly.
I know he does it out of love. Ever since he has heard about my mother leaving me when she feels like it from when I was younger he would come to my house and bring me here to their home. I would spend nights with Medina and they would take care of me until Mother dear turned back up again.
"Uncle Jahan.. You can't be responsible for me all my life..I'm a grown as..er woman now..". I laugh at him jokingly.
"Loohri you may think your all grown up but to me you will always be my little Tasha..Now tell me the truth..Is it necessary for you to leave or do you want to spend a few months here with us?."
Oh it was so tempting. I so wanted to pretend and just stay in their lovely home. Then I look across at Harif and my mind was made up. He looked uncomfortable. I don't think he wants me to stay..That's the problem he never wants me and I'm not going to spend all my life mooning over him. If he can't love me back then I need to move on and the only way I can do that is to leave. Go far away and start to love myself more. Focus more on me and me alone.
I need to stop putting others before me for once. I need to grow up and smell the fucking coffee. I need to get Harif Jahan out of my life for good. Once and for all. I need to stop letting my Mother treat me like crap and play her mind games with me. Mind made up I look at both of my two precious people and smiling I reply.
"Uncle Jahan, Mamma..I love you from the bottom of my heart. Thank you for always being there for me. I know sometimes I didn't make it easy when growing up..I wish I can turn back time..but know that you two mean the world to me..you'll always belong in my heart...but I need to go..so please let me go." I finish... and the bloody tears are back.
They both take me in their arms and just hold me. I saw in my peripheral vision that Harif had gotten up and left. I sobbed out loud. My heart breaking. He can't even wait to say goodbye. Maybe last meeting means nothing to him. I mean nothing to him.
I sobbed some more until I finally felt at peace being held in the arms of such beautiful people.
I Pulled back and they both smiled at me with tears in their eyes.
"Just know my darling that you will always have a home here..Don't you ever forget that my beautiful child." Mamma whispers tearfully.
I smile back at her. Standing up as they did I turn and hug then both fiercely. God I'm going to miss them so much. If I thought saying Goodbye to Medina next door was bad, this was awful. The pain was so intense but I had to do it. For my own sake and sanity.
They walked me out to the door. I looked up to see whether Harif will be standing there but he wasn't. I swallowed painfully and refused to shed more tears over him. If he didn't want me then I refused to be a stupid fucking lovesick puppy around him. I was fed up of being pathetic and so obvious.
With one final Goodbye,I Walked out and see Medina waiting outside with the children ,Jake and Kelly. I quickly went over and gave final hugs and kisses.
"Don't be a stranger now" Medina hugs me tearfully.
"I won't...you know why I have to do this..please understand!" I reply quietly.
"I do..I love you Natasha Jackson".
"I love you baby girl...I love you all." I look at all of them for a final time and then I turn and make my way down the Street. I don't look back. I knew if I did then I would chicken out and I was adamant on moving on.
So I carried on walking. Tears running down my face. His face appeared before me..but I closed my ears and shook my head a few times and when I opened my eyes I continued walking....not knowing what the future held in store for me.
Salam and hey guys .
I'm back..sorry I couldn't stay away from you lot for long..lol.
Here is Natasha and Harif's Story.
I don't know what the hell I'm doing but hey It's wattpadd..;)
Hope you enjoy this prologue and I'm eager to post another chapter soon.
Please let me know what you think of it so far.
Have a blessed day and see you soon..might be quite soon actually as my
Creative juices are flowing ( no dirty jokes pls..;0).
Love you all
Shazk80 xxxx