What did I just do?
I asked him to come over?
What am I going to say to him?
This is stupid.
So fucking stupid.
I literally have been ignoring him for three days and then ask him to come over? No wonder he thought something was wrong.
Fuck!
He's going to think I'm crazy.
Maybe I should text him to not come over.
No that's worse, he'll still think something is going on!
I did not think this through.
As I was internally arguing with myself, I was pacing back and forth in front of my front door. Namjoon and Tae didn't live that far from me, and at the sound of a knock I jumped. I lunged for the door pulling it open, startling Yoongi as well. His hand was still raised in a knocking position, with his eyes wide.
"Hey." I said.
"Hey." He replied lowering his arm. "Are you alright?"
"Yeah, everything is good." I could feel my heart beating through my ears. Everything was not good. It felt as if I was about to have an panic attack.
He tried to bite back a smirk. "So...you wanted me to come over?"
I still had not let him in.
Stupid!
"Oh!" I said stepping back and opening the door more. "Yes, come in. Sorry." I laughed nervously.
He chuckled and when he stepped in he took his shoes off. His eyes scanned the room and when his eyes landed on Loca he made a B line to her. Once he was in front of her, she opened her eyes and her head shot up. He stilled for a moment his hand reached out to her. She jumped to her feet immediately, rubbing her body against his hand.
Why am I suddenly envious of that cat?
"Hey beautiful." he said to her.
Still envious...
I was walking closer to him taking a seat on the chair thankful for the distraction. I tried using it to gather my thoughts but I ended up just starting at him.
He was a very attractive man.
He clearly took pride in his appearance but not to the point of arrogance.
Which was surprising.
He wore his signature black ripped jeans and a simple charcoal gray t-shirt. He had a necklace on and a bracelet, with dangly earrings and his hair was messy and perfect. I noticed that the earrings he wore, were the ones I had gotten him last year for Christmas. Five years ago Jimin was insistent that we do secret Santa instead of buying everyone gifts. It made it easier, more fun,and took away the obligation to buy so many gifts.
"So why did you want me to come over?" he asked turning towards me. He moved around the cat tree and sat on the seat opposite me. Loca looked a bit bitter no longer having Yoongi's attention but she just tucked her head comfortably to sleep. When I focused my attention on the man in front of me, his eyes were soft, and he looked worried.
"I just wanted to explain why you hadn't heard from me." I replied, biting my lip.
His eyes fell to my lips, and I let my bottom one pop out from under my top teeth. I saw him swallow and he turned to the TV that was playing before regarding me again. "Oh, well I was kinda wondering about that. I'm really sorry if while you were at my house, I made you feel uncomfortable in any way." He looked down avoiding eye contact. "I didn't mean to take advantage of you or anything, I really did just fall asleep. I never would have done that intentionally knowing what you had just gone through..."
He trailed off when he looked up to me, as my eyes were wide hearing what he was saying.
He thought I was upset with him for that?
He thought I believed he took advantage of me?
NO!
No, no, no, no, no.
"Noona?"
"Yoongi I am not upset about anything about that night."
"Really?"
"Yeah. I didn't think you took advantage of me, and I certainly don't think you would have done anything to make me feel uncomfortable on purpose. Regardless, I didn't feel uncomfortable for one moment. You were very kind to me, and helped me relax when I was anxious and didn't hesitate to bring me to your house when I said I didn't want to be alone. Nothing you did that night upset me in the slightest. In fact..."
I stopped talking, now suddenly nervous. I looked down at my hand playing with my finger.
"In fact?" He asked making me look up.
He was staring intently at me, his body seeming to be on edge. It actually mirrored the way my body was feeling, tense and nervous.
I had never stumbled over my words so much before in my life.
"I um...I enjoyed staying over that night."
I saw him smile and his body relax a little. "I thought it was fun." He replied in a soft voice. "So, you were just really busy the last few days then?"
"Uhh...no." I said shaking my head. "Not exactly."
"Then why weren't you replying to me?"
"I uh...um...Well Hoseok...he said something to me that I didn't like at first and denied. Then he challenged me and I felt bad But then it made me realize things and I didn't know I felt that way and now I don't know what to say?" I said it all in one breath, still nervous about how Yoongi would react.
He let out an amused exhale and leaned back. "Well lets start with explaining what you just said. It made absolutely no sense. What did Hoseok say?"
I felt my face flush and my stomach flop. God...was I really going to tell him?
I continued to play with my finger for a short second before I decided that I probably should. I needed to be honest.
"He accused me of having feelings for you." I said looking up to him.
I could tell he wasn't expecting that, and he shifted in his seat sitting up straight. "And you didn't like that?" His voice now was almost a monotone.
I didn't like that.
"Well at first..."
He raised an eye brow not taking his eyes off me. "At first?"
I let out a sigh and let my head fall into my palms. Dragging this out like this is making it worse, just get it all out.
Word vomit.
"Yes." I started looking back up to him. I was sure to keep eye contact with him as I continued. "He accused me of having feelings for you and I denied it. I told him I was just taking his advice and befriending you. But then he challenged me to go a week without talking to you. No text, no calls, no hanging out. I told him that was rude and that I wouldn't do it. But then he kept saying it meant I had feelings, so I agreed and told him once the week was over, I was going to tell you about it and that it was his idea and not mine. But then you texted me the next day. I wanted to respond because I felt bad ignoring you. Then the second day you called me and I wanted to answer, but I didn't want to prove Hoseok right. Then....then you didn't try to text or call me at all today...and I didn't like it. I didn't like it at all and when I texted you, I realized..."
"Realized what?" He asked after a long pause.
He was keeping his composure very well, but I knew him well enough to know he doesn't show emotion easily. There's no telling what he is really feeling right now as I spilled the beans.
"That I enjoyed spending time with you. Talking with you, even if it was just texting." I sighed. "Maybe he's right...all it took was me thinking that you were out on a date with some girl for me to pick up that phone and text you."
His calm and collected demeanor changed in an instant, and a wide smile spread across his face.
"So....you were jealous. That means you like me." He accused.
The smile he wore turned into a smirk, and I couldn't even bring myself to be annoyed with it. I bit my tongue so hard so I wouldn't smile I thought it would bleed. I narrowed my eyes at him, faking annoyance, which honestly probably didn't work. "I might." I replied.
He smiled even bigger, but I didn't see any arrogance behind it, I saw joy.
Does he like me?
Is he even interested in me that way?
Before I could ask, he spoke.
"Huh..." he said leaning back and resting his arms on the couch. "So, my charming personality did win you over in the end didn't it?" he teased.
"Shut up." I said crossing my arms and leaning back. I wasn't embarrassed, I was just...held in suspense. He wasn't really reciprocating what I was saying, and though I didn't think he would make me feel bad about anything intentionally, I was slowly starting to feel stupid.
He laughed at my mumbling and stood making his way over to me. He gently grabbed my arms and pulled me to my feet. He then pulled me to the couch making me sit next to him. He was still smiling when he leaned closer and asked in a low voice, "What now?"
His face was so close to mine, and I had the sudden urge to connect our lips. He was so hot. Like, one of the most attractive men I've seen in my life. How did I never see this before? I had to distract myself. I couldn't sit here staring at his lips curious to how they might feel against my skin. That was dangerous.
"A date." I said lifting my eyes to his, surprising us both.
He leaned back, and his expression made me smile. "A date?"
"Yes." I said standing up. "I am going to take you out on a date."
"You, are taking me?" Both his eyebrows were raised now.
I smiled wider. "Yep."
"Okay." He said slowly. "When?"
"Right now." I said reaching for him and pulling him up to stand with me.
"Now?"
"You have anything else planned?"
"Well no."
"Then why not now?"
"Where are we going?"
"That is a surprise," I said walking over to unplug my phone and grab my purse. "You can drive if you want, otherwise I will."
"I'll drive if we go."
I felt my heart drop, and I'm sure my expression showed how I was feeling. "If?" I asked him.
He smiled mischievously and sauntered his way over to me. He was slow with each step, and his eyes were burning into my soul. He wouldn't look away from me. With each step he took I stepped back. Eventually I was up against the wall of my living room, and Yoongi had both of his palms pressed against the wall next to each side of my head. I was caged in front of him, not wanting to move in the slightest.
"I will agree to let you take me out on a date..." he said leaning closer. He was so close yet not quite touching me. I could actually feel his body heat radiating off of him, making me warmer than usual. "...on one condition."
I had to swallow thickly to get some moisture in my throat to speak. "What condition?" I didn't realize my words came out in a whisper, and it made him smirk even more.
His eyes flickered down to my lips then back to my eyes locking me into his gaze. "You have to kiss me first."