"Hey,"
"Hey,"
I smiled at the blonde hair blowing in the wind, gently brushing against the tip of Merethe's nose. "You're early." I noted, walking up to her side.
Mer sat on one of the apple tree's bare roots. It had grown out of the ground at some point, and made a rather decent bench for people who liked to enjoy the solemnity of the quiet grasslands, where the tree stood, bare of leaves and more of a skeleton than a living being. This tree was long dead, but it made itself famous by being the only apple tree in the entire town, so even with its withered bark and the gothic emptiness of its branches, it still stood as a monument to some of the townsfolk.
Merethe stood as I approached, getting her bag and hiking it high on her broad shoulder. She smiled back, her hair blowing into her mouth and making her shake her head in an attempt to get it out.
"Rather windy today, isn't it?" I said.
"Yes. Yes, it is." she pulled the last strand from her lips and huffed. "We have about two hours till sundown."
"That doesn't seem like much time."
"It will be enough if you start spilling now."
I shook my head. "Let's get to the observatory first."
Merethe only nodded, and let me lead the way, softly humming a Taylor Swift song to the melody of the blowing winds.
I scaled the path, seldom noticed and seldom walked, to a clearing in the local forest. This forest wasn't the scary, horror movie type of woodland one might come to expect in this quiet town of ours. In fact, it was quite enchanting. The trees weaved their branches in a natural web, casting artful shadows on the grassy floor, and the first line of trees gradually thinned at the edges, creating a crescent-shapped glade that looked like a fairy's garden. Weeds and flowers of all sorts sprouted up in random places, tall grasses lined the place, and the overall feel was close to that of a medieval countryside's.
As a child, I used to run down a dirt path that went behind my house and around the clearing. My father, who went with me on the weekends, let me play in the clearing till sunset, when he'd put me on his shoulders and carry me home. At times, we laid down on the ground and watch the stars, feeling the grass tickle our bare feet and the wind blow across the grasslands. The clearing carried a sweet memory of my youth, and of the carefree way I used to live before my eyes were opened to the truth about life and our ways of living.
"It looks greener than when I last saw it." Mer commented, tilting her head in the direction of the glade as we neared.
I nodded. "The past few weeks of rain did some good."
"How often do you visit this place again?"
"About twice or thrice a week. Four times if I'm not busy.
"Don't your parents get scared or worried when you're out here by yourself?"
"Dad lived his entire life in the house we live in now, so he's fine with it. Mom doesn't really care where I go, as long as I return home in one piece."
We trudged our way through the grass until we reached the middle of the glade, which was cleaner and flatter, mainly because I made it a routine to stamp down the grass every now and then, just to keep my personal space free of too much growth.
Right at the center of the clearing was a moss green tent, held down by pegs and rocks, and shut with a padlock. This tent, which my father put up when I was nine, was given the name 'the observatory' and made to make me feel like I was an actual astronomer, studying about the stars and doing what I loved. In the midst of all the grass and the bushes, the observatory looked more like a moss-covered boulder with smaller rocks surrounding it.
I ran up to the tent and unlocked it, unzipping the entrance and crawling inside. I rearranged the duvets I had left there, feeling a slight tinge of shame at how messy the interior was and how my astronomy books were scattered about. I hastily stacked all the books to one side and pushed my two star maps to another, just as Merethe squeezed her tall self through the entrance and plopped onto the pile of duvets.
She gave me an expectant look. "So, now that we're settled, you can spill the tea."
I let out a long breath. "Okay. So," I looked Merethe straight in the eyes. "I was thinking about getting a job."
My best friend blinked, stared at me for a few seconds, then widened her eyes. "A job, eh?"
"Yes. A job. Part-time, low pay, I know, but it could help a lot."
"Cool."
Now it was my turn to blink. "That's all you're gonna say?"
"Uh, yeah, unless you have some hidden agenda. I remember you saying that this talk was supposed to have something to do with the future."
"It is about my future. It's about my family's future as well. I don't know if they've noticed, but the connection between us is straining, and I think it has something to do with our financial situation and the stress that the crane accident put on my parents."
"So, basically, you want to get a job and help provide for the family. Great. Lots of kids do that nowadays."
"Yeah, great." I twirled the corner of a duvet round my finger.
"Mal, are you okay?"
"Yeah, tired is all."
"The job thing, is that all you want to talk about?"
"Yeah," I looked down, ignoring how the duvet slowly slid off my finger. "Honestly, no."
Mer nodded, her lips pressed into a thin line. "Tell away, babe."
I sighed. "I just don't know what I want for my future. You ever get that feeling?"
"Sometimes,"
"I get it all the time. No joke. I want to pursue astronomy, I want to do all the stuff that I dreamt of doing since I was a little kid, but at the same time, I want to be there for my family. It's getting tougher, Mer. Everyday, we're growing quieter, more disconnected. I can feel the bonds being stretched, literally. If the wind blows in the wrong direction, it might just break altogether."
Merethe gave me a gaze of mixed sympathy and confusion. I knew I sounded like I was overexaggerating or paranoid, but I couldn't help it. I nearly lost my father to an accident two years ago. The thought of losing my family, even if it the idea was pretty far-fetched for now, just always got on my nerves.
I buried my face in the pile of duvets. "I want to go for astronomy, but I know that'll pull me away from my family because of university, and looking for an astronomy-related job, and the time I'll spend doing just that. I don't want to leave my family. Not when they need a change as much as they need one now." my voice was muffled, but I felt my best friend's comforting hand on my shoulder.
"You know," Mer began, "You're such a thoughtful daughter. You're willing to put your family before your own dreams, and though it isn't a rare thing for a kid to do, it still takes a lot of courage and love."
"Courage and love alone won't exactly be enough to bring food to the table, will it?"
"Okay, okay. I'll just tell you about what I think. You are in no way obligated to follow my advice, you hear me, Quinn?"
"Yes, Dempsey."
"Alright. So you know there's a difference between doing what you love and doing what you feel is right. If you choose to do what you love, you go and follow that dream, walk the path you envisioned yourself walking, and live the life you wanted to live. If you choose to do what your gut tells you is right, it could mean sacrificing your personal goals for something that may or may not be for another person's benefit.
"To be honest, none of those two choices can promise a perfect future or a life full of happiness. Either path has its own bundle of obstacles and that's just how it be. I'm not telling you to make a choice now, but when you do choose, please enjoy your choice as much as you can, even if it doesn't mean much."
I raised my head to look at her, and she gave me a sweet smile. It wasn't the kind of smile that reached her eyes or made her cheeks squish back, but it was a smile that promised her company and support.
I returned the smile, and reached for the zipper of the tent opening. I pulled it down to let a little bit of natural light in, but what greeted us wasn't exactly a little bit of light.
The entire clearing was literally bathing in the golden glow of the setting sun. It was as if the huge star had descended from its spot in the sky to present itself to the world, showering the Earth with rays of light, before tucking itself behind the mountains and giving way to the moon. Merethe and I simply couldn't take our eyes away from the scene. It was almost unreal, almost like it had been plucked from a fairytale. It felt magical and all, and made the forest seem more alive, more enchanting than it already was, with the branches casting intricate shadows onto the pale gold grass.
As much as I wanted to enjoy that beauty of what I saw, I simply couldn't do so entirely. There was something about the sunset that reminded me of everything Merethe and I had talked about. There was something about this fleeting moment - how insignificant it was in the grand scheme of time, yet memorable all the same - hit me deeply.
Sunsets were enchanting, mesmerizing, but they ended, like all things do. They were only beautiful transitions, preparing the world for the dark unknown of the night. The future itself was a dark, gaping void, filled with the unknown. I was scared for the future, yes, but it was moments like these that somehow made me feel less afraid and more excited.
It was moments like these that made me feel like whatever choice I made, whatever future I chose, I had at least a few reasons to be happy - whether they were my family, or my best friend, or a short, fleeting moment that meant so much more.
---
Heyyy
Double update, but I'm sincerely sorry for not updating in a while. I was supposed to have the second and third chapters posted last month, but I accidentally deleted the drafts TT
Anyway, hope you enjoyed these chapters. They're not the best I've written, and are probably fillers, but I'll get some real action going on soon, I promise.
Please don't forget to vote and comment. Love u lots!
~ Lorii ❤