I recently went on reddit like the idiot I am. Anyway I looked up really sad songs and the ones recommend just hit really weird, like what the heck.
I was listening them late at night and they were sad, but in a weird way comforting.
Lately I've felt worse than usually. I'm out of school for a few weeks. I thought it would be fun and stuff. But really it's just shown me how lonely I am. I've spent most of it sleeping till 2 pm. Other than that there's nothing else to say or do.
When news years happens last year I was so happy. A new start to this shitty year. I ended up getting a worse year. It had its moments, those good ones that I want to stay in. But most of my year was just there. And some of it was very bad. Anyway it's a new year to change. But that in a way means nothing to me. Yes it's a change in numbers 19 to 20 ,but still other than that what going to change? A new chance to start over? Are my feeling just going to start over like the year? No. Nothings going to change except a date and the amount of hope in my heart, And I hate that. Please just give me some change here. I just want some fucking change. Nothings happening, nothings going to change in 2020. And that's what's killing me at the moment.
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