- Pandora -
After spending an extremely awkward hour hanging out at Ashton's, we now sat in a cheap diner, eating greasy pizza in a small booth. I was squashed in-between Calum and Michael, Luke and Ashton sitting across from me. Out of all the boys, we decided I argued with Calum and Michael the least, but that didn't stop us from fighting.
It was just impossible to get along with any of them, especially Ashton. He was so far up his own ass I couldn't even see him anymore.
"Is that my top?" Luke questioned incredulously, speaking through a mouthful of pizza.
I frowned and looked down at the Green Day top I was wearing, slightly shrugging. In all honesty, it probably was his, but I wasn't going to admit to that.
"I don't know."
"I think it is."
"Why does your top fit your sister?" Calum chuckled, taking a sip of his drink.
I frowned, confused and slightly offended by what he had potentially meant from that comment, whilst Luke merely shrugged and picked at a slice of his pizza, managing to elbow Ashton in the face. Ashton quickly looked up and frowned, turning his attention to my clumsy twin brother.
"Was that really necessary?"
"What?"
Ashton just shook his head in exasperation, returning his attention to his half-eaten pizza slice. Our baby lay next to him in the booth, remaining silent for now, but I lived in constant fear that any minute it would burst into tears and disrupt everyone in the diner.
"Can you give the baby a cuddle?" I asked politely, gently kicking Ashton's leg underneath the table. He looked up slowly before kicking me back 10x harder, causing me to yelp out in pain.
That was definitely going to leave a bruise.
"What the hell?"
"Sorry," he chuckled, picking up the baby and holding it carelessly to his chest "I meant to kick Michael."
I wanted so badly to say something back, but I bit my tongue, deciding that would probably just make the situation worse. At least he was caring for the baby, and that's all I needed from him.
"I think Pandora should pay the bill," Michael suggested jokingly, placing his empty plate into the middle of the table.
I shook my head to make my opposition clear, chewing on the edge of my straw."I really don't think I should."
"Aw, are you sure?" Ashton cooed, patting the babies back in mock affection"You could if you wanted to."
"You're so funny, Ashton." I spat sarcastically, pushing my plate away from me.
Luke leant forward and quickly stole the spare piece of pizza I had left on my plate, not hesitating to shove the whole slice into his mouth. The rest of the boys laughed while I rolled my eyes, reaching forward to wipe some tomato sauce away from the corner of his mouth.
I felt like his goddamn mother.
"What do girls see in you guys?"
"What, apart from our perfect looks and amazing personality?" Ashton smirked, causing me to cringe.
I couldn't even tell if he was being serious anymore
"You are all just so... Ew." I shivered, clenching my eyes tightly shut.
Trust me, no matter how beautiful these boys were, it couldn't mask the ugly truth, that they were all ignorant fuck boys with poor hygiene that didn't care about anyone but themselves.
"I don't see how you two are related," Michael spoke, taking quick glances between myself and then Luke "you look completely different."
"Thank god." Luke chuckled, letting out a relieved sigh and pretending to wipe away some sweat.
I ignored the baited comment and continued to chew nervously on my straw, taking occasional sips of my coke while keeping a close eye on Ashton.
He was literally holding my grade in his hands, and I wasn't going to let him ruin it for me.
"They have the same nose." Calum pointed out, studying my face intently. I leant back, slightly uncomfortable with how close he was. "And eyes!"
"Pandora is uglier," Luke smirked, running his hands through his hair. I was tempted to reach forward and ruin the perfect quiff he had spent so long crafting, but I didn't, not allowing myself to stoop that low.
"Why do you think she's never had a boyfriend?" Calum chuckled, causing my cheeks to flush bright pink.
If there was a line, he would have just crossed it.
"Really?" Ashton gasped, widening his eyes in surprise "So does that mean you've never kissed anyone as well?"
I shook my head at his childish remark, tapping my feet nervously against the cold laminate flooring as I refused to answer him. We were eighteen, did they truly believe I had lived a life that sheltered? That I had never even been victimised by that god awful primary school game, where the boys would chase after the girls to kiss them?
"Who have you kissed?" Luke frowned, his eyes narrowed doubtfully. I remained silent, refusing to reveal this type of information to my brother.
"I bet it's just her pillow." Michael chuckled, jabbing his elbow into my side. I yelped in pain and shoved him back, feeling heat rise to my cheeks.
"I bet it is." Ashton smirked, chucking a used napkin at my face.
"No, it's not." I spat angrily, picking up the napkin and chucking it back at him.
The boys just laughed, shoving all their dirty plates into the middle of the table before gazing expectantly around the diner, waiting for someone to come collect their mess. The place was really starting to fill up, which honestly surprised me, with how poor the interior was.
"I love this place." Calum sighed, placing his hands behind his head and leaning back, a simple comfort. I scoffed, eyeing up the small diner warily.
"Why?"
The boys looked to me in confusion, Michael's elbow finding its way to my side once again. I grunted with annoyance and pushed him away from me, shuffling closer to Calum.
"Did you really just ask that?" Luke questioned, his jaw hanging open with shock.
I shrugged and nodded, unaware of the offence I was causing as I ran my hands through my blonde hair.
"Nothing about it seems that lovable."
"Everything here is loveable!" Calum argued, throwing his hands up dramatically "It is the perfect place for us!"
"Why? Cause its trash?" I snorted, receiving a stern glare from Ashton.
"If this baby means anything to you, you'll shut your mouth." He warned, holding it threateningly in the air. My eyes were wide with horror as the incident from the classroom came flooding back, the image of my baby smashing violently into the wall replaying over and over. A repetitive reminder of Ashton's clear lack of empathy.
"Ashton, put the baby down," I ordered, licking my lips nervously.
He smirked, noticing how anxious I was, and raised the baby slightly higher, taunting me.
"Admit that this place isn't rubbish."
"Ashton-"
"Say it."
"Fine," I grumbled, rolling my eyes "this place isn't rubbish."
"Now say I love you, Daddy." He continued, his smirk growing.
I shook my head in disgust, gritting my teeth together as I could feel my face flush with a wash of embarrassed crimson. "No."
"What was that?" Michael chuckled, kicking my ankle.
"I love you, Daddy." Ashton repeated, a cocky smile forming on his face.
I quickly grabbed my drink and stood up, shuffling past Calum and out the booth.
"You know what, fuck you guys." I spat, hurriedly walking towards the exit.
The boys burst into laughter behind me but I ignored them, swallowing the heavy lump in my throat. I had silently hoped Luke would have perhaps felt as awkward as I had, but glancing back he appeared to be laughing along with them, his face only mirroring half of what I had hoped for. The boy lacked any real ability to stand up for himself when he was around them, and I shouldn't have expected anything different.
Slamming open the doors, I strode out into the parking lot, the heat embracing me into a warm and comforting hug. The sun shone fiercely in my direction, momentarily blinding me until I turned the other way and began walking, hoping this was in the direction of my home.
I had never been here before, and as much as it pained me to admit it, I was pretty lost without the boys.
Gazing around, none of the street names sounded familiar, the surroundings not reminding me of anything. I had definitely not been here before, which was an unsettling reminder of how helpless I was when alone. I stopped and brought my phone out my pocket, contemplating on phoning my mum.
If I did, she would probably get annoyed. But, if I didn't, I would be lost.
I couldn't decide which one was worse.
"Fuck it." I murmured, finally unlocking my phone and selecting my mum's contact.
I held the phone to my ear and waited patiently, chewing on my non-existent nails. And after only three rings she picked up, her voice sounding confused.
"Hello?"
"Hiya, Mum." I said cautiously, dragging out the sentence "How are you?"
"Pandora, what is it?"
I winced, forgetting the stupid motherly six sense she had going on. She could always tell when I was in trouble.
"Nothing... Well, maybe a small thing." I stuttered, nervously pulling at my, or should I say Luke's, Green Day top "I'm a little bit lost."
"What?" She questioned, her voice thick with worry "Where are you?"
"Mum, I'm lost," I replied bluntly, gazing around at the unfamiliar streets "If I knew where I was then I wouldn't be phoning you."
There was a pause, causing my stomach to twist uncomfortably.
I hated pauses.
"Is there any way you could get home yourself?" She asked, her voice sounding tired.
I thought for a moment, clicking my tongue on the roof of my mouth. I could always go back to the diner and go home with the boys, but that would be worse than being lost.
I would be with them.
"Not really," I finally replied, chewing on the inside of my cheek to distract from my guilt "I could always try?"
"It's fine," she replied, attempting to mask the annoyance in her voice through a raise of her pitch "I was just in the middle of cleaning the kitchen, but I'll leave it for now. Describe where you are."
I looked around, taking in the empty street. It was pretty ordinary if I was being honest.
"It has massive hedges in all the gardens," I described, trying my best to find something that would make it stand out "the houses are all pretty plain looking. There's a post box, some street lamps. There is a park right down the road, and a diner on the opposite end."
"Is there a house with a bright green door?" My mum questioned.
"Well, um... Yeah." I frowned, the bright green abruptly catching my eye. How had I missed that?
"I know where you are," she mumbled, the weight lifting from my shoulders to be transferred to hers. "I'll be there in two minutes."
"Two minutes?" I exclaimed, surprised "Am I that close?"
"You're only a couple streets away, Pandora." My mum laughed, causing my cheeks to tinge bright pink, embarrassed by my sheltered lifestyle.
"Sorry,"
"It's okay, see you in two."
And with that she hung up, leaving me completely alone in the middle of a street I didn't know. I contemplated whether taking a quick visit to the park along the road would be worth it, but spotting an abundance of little children playing on most of the equipment, I decided against it.
The parents would probably think I was only there to cause trouble anyway, and I really wasn't in the mood to be receiving judgemental glares.
After spending another long ten minutes playing games on my phone, and realising I could have probably just used Google maps to get home and I was an idiot, my mum's car pulled up beside me, her face a blank canvas. I didn't know what type of mood she was in when I got into the car, but the atmosphere was extremely tense.
"Hey." I mumbled, slowly fastening my seatbelt as I attempted to decipher the source of my Mother's negativity. She merely nodded and pulled away from the kerb, driving us in the opposite direction she had came from.
"Did you know about Luke?"
There was the source.
"What?" I coughed, trying to stop myself from blushing.
I had to look innocent.
"Did you know about Luke?" She questioned again, spitting every word with aggression I had only seen a couple of times before, like on the phone to broadband companies. I shook my head furiously, not trusting myself to respond in any manner other than physical expressions of my feigned ignorance. "He's been skipping school."
I nervously played with my hair, studying the tips as if split ends actually concerned me. I hated lying to my mum, especially when it was for Luke. Usually, he would be here to back me up or add some of his humour, but it was just me this time.
And I was a terrible liar.
"I just can't believe he would do this," she continued, tapping her finger impatiently against the steering wheel "I mean, what did I ever do wrong? Was it the way I raised him?"
I shook my head, pressing my lips into a firm line."You didn't do anything wrong."
"Is it because he never had a father figure to look up to?"
Once again I shook my head, determined to cheer my Mum up. I hated when she would blame herself for everything. It was my job to do that, not her.
"I swear to god I tried, I really did-"
"Mum, please don't." I interrupted, placing my hand gently on her shoulder, a simple attempt to reassure her of her worth "You've done nothing wrong. Luke's just an idiot, okay? But I'm sure he'll change."
"Really?" She chuckled, her mood lifting slightly. I nodded, abruptly jumping as my phone began to vibrate furiously within my pocket. I quickly picked it up and clicked accept, too preoccupied to check the caller ID.
I wish I did though. I really wish I did.
"Hey!" A cheery voice exclaimed, sounding slightly too happy for my liking.
"What is it, Ashton?" I sighed, ignoring the look of disapproval on my Mum's face.
Just because she liked him didn't mean I had to.
"Well, y'know the baby we have?"
"Yes?" I dragged out, my stomach sinking as I quickly prepared myself for the worst.
I shouldn't have trusted him on his own.
"I kinda- um... I've lost it."
**********************
Song: Unpredictable by 5sos
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- Esmerelda 💜