alexithymia | zhong chenle √

By KHYUAN

253K 11.6K 8.8K

alexithymia subclinical phenomenon involving a lack of emotional awareness or, more specifically, difficulty... More

𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙧𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝙥𝙧𝙤𝙛𝙞𝙡𝙚𝙨
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epilogue
season 2

XIV

6.2K 312 347
By KHYUAN

"sometimes you find happiness in places you've never looked"

. . .

"calm down, your going to trip" chenle fought off a smile as he watched her skip across the hallway towards marks office. she had notified jisung but he decided against coming as he wanted to quickly finish wiring the last few cards

"just look at it!" she shoved the glass keycard with a lanyard attached to it in chenle's face

"i get it, you're happy" he states, digging his hands into his pockets. just as she was about to open mark's office door, mark walked straight out of it while flipping through files.

"mark!" she almost screamed. mark looked up, smiling at her and closing the folder

"i have some good news" she didn't know combat members had to do file work as well

"i've been waiting for good news. ever since we had to reinvestigate everything, i am just not in a good mood" he laughed lightly, looking at the ecstatic girl

"ta da" she pulled out his keycard and waved it in front of him. mark's eyes lit up and quickly took the card in his hands.

"is this mine?" he asked, spinning the cards around. she nodded. mark's face lit up and he was about to go in for a hug, but when he glanced at chenle, he immediately dropped his hands and patted hyejin on the head.

chenle's eyes were burning holes into mark so he just thought it would be a better idea to not cross chenle. but when hyejin turned around to look at chenle, he looked fine. dead, as usual

a ding suddenly went off in hyejin's phone as mark was busy fanboying over his key card and chenle staring into the walls. she pulled her phone out to be greeted with a strange message

unknown

i can offer a deal to you.
we know you're working for NCT
and we also know you are also quite close to that chenle boy
you give me your illegal starship case files and we won't hurt lover boy
deal?
you have until tonight to decide
if you refuse to decide, then you know what happens
if you dare tell anyone about this, i would suggest locking up all your doors
i'll wait for your reply

how did they...

realisation dawned on her when she left her phone on the van. cursing herself, she glanced at chenle. she wasn't ready to let someone she had grown so close to get hurt because of her...but she wasn't ready to betray the whole of NCT

she almost dropped her phone, her hands shaking. chenle looked at her in confusion, walking towards her. she quickly hid her phone behind her back as chenle asked "you look dead"

"thanks" she replied back while avoiding eye contact "let's...go back"

at this moment, she already knew her answer

unknown

i'll give you the case

. . .

"make this quick" she hissed, the deciding object in her hand. the man sitting next to him took of his hat, revealing his face as a mob of black hair fell out of it.

"calm down, we have all the time" he smiled, but there was nothing warm to it

"i've always been curious, why choose this specific location?" she looked around at the casual looking cafe

"convenience"

"that's it?"

"what other reason are you looking for?"

"nothing, just curiosity"

"let's cut to the chase, i have what you want"

"didn't know you would be so willing? guess NCT doesn't mean much to you huh?" he leant back and crossed his legs over, spinning a pair of scissors around his finger

"this isn't a personal chat." she rolled her eyes "i couldn't get the case because jeno wouldn't let me"

"what do you mean-" the man stood up in fury, slamming his hand down, causing the cup of coffee to spill on to the wooden table

"wait for me to finish" she took our a small metal box, sliding it across the him

"i got taeyongs key card. i'm sure that'll be more useful to you. mind you, he can open all facilities in the NCT base" she smirked helping him open the case to reveal the glass piece

"you're more bold than i expected" he chuckled "i like it"

"have a nice day sir" she bowed her head down and left the cafe, letting out a breath of relief.

he bought it

she was internally dancing as she walked to the motorbike parked nearby, her heart beating with adrenaline

because the key card that she gave him, was the failed version of taeyongs keycard

FLASHBACK...

"jisung, did you throw out taeyongs failed attempt key cards?" she shuffled through the copious amount of objects on the side table

"i don't think so, yuta was about to melt it and recycle it...i think he took it" jisung shrugged "why?"

"he's doing what??" she stopped all her movement

"are you ok hyejin?"

"where is yuta?" she exclaimed desperately, grabbing jisung's shoulders

"in the lab...?" jisung watched as she bolted up the stairs "wait but what are you-"

she rushed up to his lab, swinging the door open to see yuta with a pair of tongs and holding it above a tub full of who knows what.

"yuta don't" she yelled, yuta almost jumping off his stool

"woah, hi hyejin. can i help you?" yuta lowered his arm and just held the tongs comfortably

"did you melt all the key cards?" she was so out of breath she could barely make sentences

"uhh this is the last one" yuta eyed the card on the tongs

"don't melt it, please. give it to me, i need it" she walked towards and yuta kept looking at her weird

"why?" he just looked at the card

"no questions just give it to me"

"alright, but it slightly changed shape" he dunked the card in cold water and handed it to hyejin

"thanks so much." she bowed in thanks and ran out of the room

"you owe me an explanation!" yuta called after her and shook his head in amusement

she managed to get back to the warehouse and immediately pulled out some tools

"jisung take over my keycard for me for a bit, i've got some other business to do" she told jisung before busily scraping the glass so it became a slightly thinner square shape. this took a while so by the end of it, she was almost fast asleep

but at least she beat him at his own game

. . .

"look, the bar that we were at is here" she pointed at the place circled with red "and the cafe is here" she circled an area close to the bar

"i asked him why he chose that specific area and he said because of convenience, say he was telling the truth, then that means the base should be around this area...or at least where the files are" she stabbed at a section in between the cafe and the bar

"so the first thing we need to do is investigate that area, get jeno to do some research and send yangyang there first to locate approximately where the files are" xiaojun placed the pen down. xiaojun and hyejin were currently working together with the information she managed the get from her little meet. she had explained what happened to him and so far the plan was looking like it was getting somewhere

"here, the phone" winwin entered the room and passed a seemingly new phone to her. she took it in thanks and pulled out her old phone, sliding it to xiaojun "get ten to do a checkup on this, maybe he can track the IP" then she looked at winwin, fishing for some money.

"here, take it" she outstretched her arm in front of winwin, which he quickly dejected

"it's fine, just count it as a welcome gift" he pushed her hand away

"no please, take it. you bought me a whole damn phone" she pushed the money back at winwin

"honestly it's fine hyejin just leave it for your own use. i know you're going to college soon, save your money" winwin once again took hold of her wrist and pushed it towards hyejin

"winwin listen to me-"

all of a sudden, chenle slammed a few sheets onto the table "heres the money" before anyone could react, he took a hold of hyejin's wrist.

"wait what-" she was harshly pulled away by a fuming chenle as he dragged her into his office.

"chenle are you not right in the head or something?" she yanked her wrist away from his grasp as he spun around, his eyes telling a whole story behind that masked face

"what's up with you and winwin? what, are you two dating now?" his words were sharp, but fell onto the same tone. he walked towards hyejin, his face blank but she could see the anger in his eyes...no, it wasn't anger, it was something that chenle had been feeling too many times in the past few days

"what the hell chenle?" she scoffed, taking a nervous step back

"look, you aren't even denying it" chenle took
another dangerous step towards her "if you're going to hide it, at least hide it better"

"no! we aren't dating! when did i ever say we were dating?" she was more confused than angry at this point

"you didn't seem like 'just friends' before" his eyes and darkened and now was replaced with a stare than almost looked threatening

"then what do you want us to look like? kissing each other whatever time we got?" she was so bewildered about this whole argument that she was ready to hit chenle with a baseball bat if she was ever given one.

"you may as well" he advanced towards her, his chest heaving up and down in heavy waves

"does it look like we were even close to kissing?" her back hit the wall

"all snuggled up to him and being so nice to him, what else can it be?" he took a final step that took him to stand right in front of her

"i don't even know what you're angry at-"

"why do you keep making me feel emotions i don't want!" his hand slammed against the wall and a piece of china almost fell off the shelf, but that slam shut her straight up, or perhaps it was his words that cut through her like a knife. from this whole gesture, maybe she could see a small crack from the alexithymia

why do you keep making me feel emotions i don't want

"what?" her tone was softer, her eyes gazing straight into his pitch black ones.

"nothing, forget i said anything" he pushed himself off the wall and bolted out of his office

"no wait chenle" she dashed after his, grasping his wrist and pulling him back

"let go" he whispered lowly, as if it was his first warning. he refuse to look at her, just his eyes staring into the air

"not until you explain what you meant-"

"i said let go" his volume raised, his eyes still fixed on the blank nothingness

"chenle you need talk to me-"

"i said let go of me!" he tried to pull his wrist from her grasp, but she was firm

"why are you running away?" her voice sounded desperate, so desperate it was tempting

"i'm going to hurt you" chenle growled, his eyes piercing holes into her face

"kick me, punch me. i don't care! i just need you to talk to me!" she was almost screaming at this point but she was so determined

"you might let me, but i won't! i won't let myself hyejin!" he was finally spitting out some words that meant something, and she was glad this was getting somewhere. it was almost a repeat of their lesson, but this time it was reality. her lessons were working...but she had hoped it wouldn't have worked in this way

"chenle please-"

"let go or else i will hurt you!" he was struggling so hard to get out of her grip. if he even let himself lay a finger on her, he wasn't sure what he would do

"for gods sake chenle, calm down and we can talk!" she watched how he took heavy breaths in a slow syncopated rhythm. she loosened her fingers deciding that he was slowly calming down

"can we just drop it" chenle glanced up at her, his darkened eyes drowning with resentment. she watched him for any sign of hesitation, but to her disappointment, she found none

"ok" she let go of his arm "we'll drop it"

"thanks" chenle shook her hand once and for all and stormed down the hallway. it was like he had a switch in him, once that switch was flipped back, that veil of alexithymia would be wrapped around him again, hiding his true emotions

. . .

"zhong chenle, he's the dangerous one."

"the leader, what about him"

"taeyong can hesitate to kill people, but that chenle kid won't. i heard he was diagnosed with alexithymia, making him someone we need to watch out for"

"how about the other members?"

"our men should be able to over power the rest of NCT by numbers, but i saw that chenle kid take on 10 guys at once. i've seen it all with my own pair of eyes, and that kid is a living death machine"

"does he not have a weak spot?"

"one: the girl, joo hyejin."

"that makes things a lot easier

we kill the girl, and it's game over"

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