- farewell the parks -
tomorrow tonight - Loote
i recommend listening to this song.
as refreshing as yelling at his parents was, jimin felt somewhat empty.
as much as his parents agonised him, he'll somewhat miss the constant disappointment they pushed on him.
jimin grew due to the distaste his parents had for him, he pushed himself so god damn hard to become who he wants, to be proud of himself.
one thing he's learned from this, he only needs validation from himself. he was pushing, shoving and clawing at his parents to give him the satisfaction he wanted. no matter how deep the claws sank in his parents stayed dormant. they wouldn't budge, show him love nor support.
jimin somehow is now at peace with this information, he can breathe clearly.
he took a step back, away from everything. he said goodbye to the shop, to his friends to yoongi. he packed up and left.
as much as it pained him to do so, it's what was right.
he realised the damage he had done to those around him, his neglect to yoongi, for his parlour.
saying goodbye was tough, he never thought he had to but seeing how damaged he had become because of his parents broke him further.
"when do you think jimins returning?" namjoon asks the dull shop, words echoing the walls.
six am in LA was bleak, a soft grey fog clearing the streets. winter was hard.
yoongi felt it the most as his head rested on the cold leather seat of the parlour, body shivering from lack of sleep. every move he makes, gives a hollow feeling in his insides, heart empty. he felt dead.
he met jimin on this couch a few years back, he fell in love on this couch and now it holds his heartbreak.
"yoongi?" namjoon calls, hand rested cautiously on his almost trembling shoulder. yoongis soft glassy eyes meet namjoons, yoongi shakes his head only.
"i... i don't know namjoon, i really don't..."
-
"jimineeee!!" a sweet voice that cracks his wounded heart shouts. the door slams excitedly behind yoongi as he slips into the apartment, big smiles.
a shaken sigh, jimin turns to the door. he doesn't attempt to hide the bag. there's no point, jimin being gone in the morning was a big enough hint.
as the bedroom door opens jimins guard falls deeper. the lack of clothes in the wardrobe and the gain on the floor, the bag on the bed and the sorrow on jimins face. evidence enough?
"jimineeee-" yoongi stops, stood at the door following jimins gaze to the floor.
"w-what's going on?" yoongi asks with a hopeful smile, hopeful of just a fun trip.
yoongi isn't stupid, he never has been. his soft little baby side covers the loss of childhood, the loss of love. he for one is not thick. jimins leaving.
he's seen it before, his mother, hoseok. now jimin? why does this keep happening? why to yoongi?
hasn't he gone thought enough?
"jimin..." his water duct breaks, the first flow of tears fall. "jiminnn," he sobs.
"don't... don't go, i-i can fix myself! i promise!! j-just don't go!" yoongis little legs shake, heartbreak face.
"yoongi" jimin scrapes out, voice shattered. he sounded in pain.
jimin moves to the door, picking yoongi up from the floor. placing him on the bed and his head in jimins shoulder.
"yoongi, it's not because of you, i promise. your the pull factor, the factor that wants me to stay here. but-"
"-but stay!! stay please!!"
"but, i can't. it's not right for you nor for me, it's not right. yoongi, i'm not okay."
yoongi shakes his head, he understands but doesn't want to.
"you have done nothin wrong, please don't blame yourself. i love you, i really... i really do."
"y-you need to do this... this for yourself,"
"yeah. i do and i'm sorry i'm doing this to you again, but i need you to know, i will return." jimin knows the traumatising moments of his youth, this image being one of them. the image of the ones he loves packing up and leaving his life. he's seen it all too much.
"i know you will, because... cause hobi returned, he came back for me, and nd so will you! because you l-love me." yoongi sobs, little hands shaking in sorrow. jimin links their fingers.
"you've become so strong, yoongi. i'm so proud of you, i am."
yoongi curls in tighter, hair nuzzling jimins neck.
"me too minmin... your strong. you said goodbye to your dictators and you know when you need time away, it takes strength to do such thing. i love you for it." yoongi sounds so much different from the first day they met, from a shy creature to such a brave person, he knows himself.
yoongis going to be okay.
"i leave in the morning. you weren't supposed to see this, yoongi. uh- i was gonna leave you a note in the morning. but i'm glad we've talked! i forgot what makes us so great, communication."
"it's less damaging, jimin. i wouldn't have trusted you, you know if you left a note, i would have collapsed. not because i need you! i-i don't, because terrors attack me when vulnerable." yoongi knows himself, he's going to be okay. "but... i do need you, you make me happier than anyone,"
"and i need you, that's why i always have you with me, yoongi... our tattoos," jimin reminds, the ink splattered skin reacting, aware the ink is being spoken of.
"my minmin..."
"and my yoonyoon,"
" i love you," they say in sleepy voices.
-
"he never said when he would return... he just left."
-
the morning after brings an odd sense of tranquility to yoongi, he knows he's loved by the one he loves. he knows why jimin is leaving, he feels okay. alone but okay.
yoongi walks to the tattoo parlour, letting the fresh breath of crisp air enter his lungs. it's refreshing, a clear mind.
as usual the shop is bustling with life, each little family doing their own thing, each working. yoongi enters alone, for the first time in two years.
he would have contacted hoseok to join him but his brother never replied. it felt right to do enter alone though.
"yoongi!" a chorus yells, happy faces turned confused.
"where's jimin?" jungkook speaks up, eyes darting to the window.
with a heavy heart, yoongi glances round the shop, watching everyone's face. namjoon, seokjin, taehyung and jungkook. hoseok? yes, hobis here.
"jimins gone."
-
it's been two weeks since the departure, yoongi explained everything to everyone. he was okay.
as painful as the alone was, yoongi thought he was doing okay. of course he cried, couldn't get out of bed sometimes but some days he could, he had jimins cheering him on in his head. he worked and ate. he felt good.
he never knew what tomorrow would bring, he could end up lying in bed, tissues piling up and head hurting. tears non stop.
he wouldn't know.
yoongi thinks knowing jimin will return is what's keeping him somewhat going. he knows he loves him.
as each day turns into each week, the likelihood of jimin returning soon becomes smaller and smaller.
but yoongi knows he'll be back.
he promised.
-
oh no.
not edited.