(A/N: This is the chapter I added in. You'll see why I did. I'm sorry ahead of time. TT.TT)
Ming wished he'd kicked that Ohm guy a few more times - and in more tender places - especially after seeing what he'd done to Yo. They all had to suffer through a whole week of Yo slowly fading from the outside world and hiding in the apartment. What hurt Ming the most was Yo wouldn't let anyone but Pha touch him. Ming was so used to slinging an arm around Yo's shoulders, nudging him like friends do, ruffling his hair...and now he couldn't. He didn't blame Yo at all for it, no. He blamed that douche Ohm and his stupid minions. He blamed Muwan.
He blamed himself.
If only he hadn't pressured Yo to go drinking with him back in high school. If only he hadn't actually drank the stupid beer those giggly girls had bought for them. If only he had stayed by Yo's side and not gone dancing.
If only, if only, if only...
The trial was in a few short days. He'd have to go up on the witness stand and face her. He'd have to tell everyone what she did...and he didn't remember any of it. Not a thing. The last thing he remembered before waking up with the hangover to end all hangovers was dancing with two girls, having fun. Then everything faded out.
He tried. He tried so hard to remember. He knew he owed it to Yo, so they could have Muwan put away for as long as possible. If they could prove she was mentally unhinged, then she'd be in a mental asylum for the rest of her life. She'd never get out. He felt a little bad about that, after seeing how terrified Yo was of going back to the mental ward - and he'd only been there for two weeks - but he didn't let himself back down. She needed to not be able to do that to anyone else.
He lay in bed, staring up at the ceiling with a slight frown, digging through his memories. Why can't I remember?? He was so frustrated. I need to remember what she did... I need to. Were the drugs that strong?
"Ming, what are you thinking about?"
Ming blinked, turning his head to see Kit perched on the edge of the bed and looking at him with concern. "Nothing, really," Ming smiled, trying to cover up what he was doing. Kit didn't need to know. "Ready for bed?"
Kit studied Ming's face. He didn't believe the other guy for a second that he was thinking about nothing. But Kit wasn't about to press the issue. He wanted Ming to tell him on his own. "Yeah," Kit slipped under the covers with Ming, reaching over to turn off the light. Ming snuggled up to him, one arm draped over Kit's middle while resting his head over his heart, sighing contentedly. "Good night, Ming."
"Night, Kit," Ming mumbled, already close to sleep.
XXX
(A/N: If a rape scene is a trigger for you, don't read the rest of this. Skip down to the next XXX.)
Ming was having a blast. School was starting in only a couple days, and he'd finally managed to convince Yo to come out to the club with him. Yo wasn't happy about being there, glowering at Ming for the first five minutes.
Until the beers showed up.
"Excuse me," Yo said to the waitress. "But we didn't order these."
"Those girls over there wanted to say hi," she told him, snapping her gum as she pointed out a group of five girls. All of them were giggling and waving coyly at Ming - and Yo.
Yo whipped his head back around to stare at Ming after the waitress left. "They bought me a drink?"
"See? I told you, buddy," Ming grinned, taking a gulp of his beer - wow, the taste was odd - and lifting it in a toast to the girls. They giggled some more, waving at him again. "You are a looker. I wish you had more confidence in yourself."
Yo shrugged. "I'm still processing the fact that girls bought us drinks. Well...me. I can believe they bought you one."
Ming sighed, taking another gulp of the beer. "Believe what you want. You gonna drink it?"
"I guess," Yo said uncertainly, eyeing the alcoholic beverage warily. He sniffed it, wrinkling his nose, then took a gulp as Ming had. And started choking. "This is nasty," he complained, eyes watering. "Who in their right mind would drink this?? It's like sewage water!"
"And you've drank lots of sewage water in your time," Ming said sarcastically.
"Shut up. It's gross," Yo pushed the glass away.
"You're gonna hurt their feelings."
"So?"
"You wanna stay single all your life?"
Yo shot him a look. "I have to drink beer to get a date? You're weird."
Ming rolled his eyes, downing half of what was left in his own glass. He didn't drink much as a rule, so he was already feeling a pleasant buzz. "Whatever. Hey, after we finish these, let's dance."
"Are you kidding? I don't dance in public. I'll just stay here and guard our table."
"Killjoy."
Yo made a face. "Boozer."
"Am not."
"You drank that whole glass as if you've been doing it all your life, Ming."
Ming looked down. He hadn't realized he'd drank the whole thing. Oh well. They were there to relax and have fun. He'd call a cab if he needed to. "Live a little, Yo. I won't make you come here with me again if you're really against it, but at least pretend you're having fun?"
Yo gave him the blandest smile, tipping the glass back and taking another gulp. "That fun enough for you?"
"You're hopeless," Ming laughed, pushing back from the table. His vision distorted for a moment, then slid back into place. Weird...must be some strong beer. Definitely calling a cab. I can get my car in the morning.
Ming was soon busy surveying the dance floor, not wanting to dance with a girl that was already taken. He'd just gotten dumped that morning by his latest girlfriend, and wanted to drink and dance his pain away. A couple of girls came up to him, smiling hopefully. He winked at them, and they all started dancing together, moving fluidly to the beat. As time went on, Ming felt heavier and dizzier. It was hard to see straight. He apologized to the girls, saying he wasn't feeling well, and went back to the table.
Yo was gone.
Ming blinked slowly, trying to process why Yo could possibly be gone. Ah, he decided. He probably went to the bathroom. I'll just wait for him to get back, then we'll go home. So he settled back into his seat and waited.
And waited.
And waited.
Ming took his phone out of his pocket with clumsy fingers and called Yo. It went straight to voicemail. He left a message, "Hey, Yo. Where are you? Is the line in the bathroom that long? I'm waiting for you at the table. I don't feel too well, so let's go home soon, hm?" He ended the call, slipping his phone back into his pocket.
A soft hand landed on his shoulder. "Hi, handsome," purred a female voice.
Ming turned, squinting to see her face. She was beautiful. "Hi..."
"I'm Muwan. What's your name?"
"Ming...Mingkwan," Ming slurred, trying to smile. It was hard getting his body to obey him for some reason.
Muwan sat in Yo's seat, smiling across the table at him. "You here with anybody?"
"Yeah...my best friend, Yo. He was supposed to be here, but..." Ming looked around for Yo again, but didn't see him. "He wears glasses, has braces, shorter than me. Maybe you saw him?"
"Was he wearing an anime t-shirt? Black jeans?"
"Yeah," Ming's face lit up. "You saw him?"
Muwan gave him an apologetic look. "He left with some guys about a half hour ago. Sorry."
He...left? Ming couldn't understand why Yo would leave. "Guys? What guys," he asked her.
"I don't know. Just some guys. They came up to him, talked for a few minutes, and he left with them. He seemed to know them."
"I'm his only friend, and he's mine," Ming tried to explain, but it was difficult to talk. I need to find him. What if they hurt him??
"I'm sure he'll come back soon," Muwan said soothingly. She came back around the table. "Until he does, why don't you dance with me?" Ming was so busy trying to concentrate on Muwan, he didn't notice the two girls from before looking at a phone, neither giggling, but looking at the screen seriously. They nodded at Muwan. She smiled confidently. "Come on," she tugged Ming's hand, leading him back out on the dance floor. "Dance with me."
Ming couldn't resist. He didn't have the presence of mind to realize what was happening. He did a couple slow dances with Muwan, the dizziness steadily getting worse. "I don't feel so good," he muttered, turning to stumble to the restroom.
"Let me help you," Muwan said sweetly. She lead him outside to a car.
"I was drinking," Ming protested, digging his heels in. "I can't drive."
"Don't worry. I'll drive us. You just rest."
Ming reclined in the front seat, his mind not registering the victorious look in Muwan's eyes. "Okay."
He must've dozed off, because the next thing he heard was Muwan saying, "We're here."
Here? Where's here? Ming blinked a few time to get rid of the blurriness. "Where are we?"
"Hotel. I don't know where you live, but you need to sleep this off."
"Okay," Ming yawned, allowing her to lead him inside and up the stairs to a room. "Thank you for this," he mumbled.
"My pleasure, Ming," Muwan said happily.
What happened between that and the next thing was a blur of voices and sensations. Ming opened his eyes again to find Muwan on top of him, smiling smugly as she unbuttoned his jeans. His shirt was gone. "W-what..."
"You're mine, Mingkwan," she said darkly, yanking his jeans down his legs. He barely had time to process that she was only in her underwear when she roughly cupped him through is boxers, making him gasp in surprise. "You've always been mine. I just needed to get your little flings out of my way, distract your friend...and now I can make sure you're always mine." She cupped his face, kissing him harshly on the mouth, forcing her tongue through his lips.
He attempted to push her off...but his hands felt as if they were glued to the bed. When she finally pulled back, allowing him to breathe, he tried again to move his hands. They were tied to the bedposts. He was trapped. "What...what are you..." he couldn't finish the sentence. It didn't feel real. None of it did.
"Don't worry, darling," Muwan said lovingly as she finished stripping Ming of his final article of clothing, eyeing his naked body hungrily as if he was a juicy steak. "You won't remember a thing. The drugs will see to that. Now," She climbed off the bed, taking her undergarments off then climbing back on top of Ming. "I think it's time I teach your body who it belongs to. Don't you?"
"Please...no..." Ming slurred, turning his head to the side when she went to kiss him again.
"Oh, dear. You really think you're allowed to say 'no' to me?" Muwan forced him to face her. "You. Are. Mine," she growled, kissing him again.
Ming's head spun from lack of air and from fear. He'd never felt so helpless, so vulnerable. He hated it. Where Muwan touched him, his skin itched, as if bugs were crawling all over him. He felt dirty as she petted and massaged him, getting him erect so she could slide the condom on.
Then she sat on him.
Tears gathered in his eyes. Muwan mistook them as tears of happiness. "I know, my darling," she cooed, kissing Ming's cheek. "It's like heaven, isn't it."
As Muwan started to move, one thought went through Ming's mind: She took my first time. I wanted it to be special, and...she stole it from me... The tears leaked down his temples, wetting the pillow below his head. All he could do was wait until she was through using him. He hoped it was soon. He wanted to run home and take the hottest shower he could, scrub her from his skin. He wanted to forget the name 'Muwan'.
He unwillingly orgasmed with her, hating himself all the while. Her moans, gasps, words of pleasure...it was like static in his ears. He wasn't experiencing this...someone else was. Someone else was being used. Someone else was being taken.
Someone else was being raped.
When she finally got off of him and untied his hands, he still couldn't move. His body was in shock. He felt so sick, not just physically, but mentally. He didn't want to accept what had happened to him. He couldn't accept it...
He was forever tainted. Who would want him now?
XXX
Kit woke out of a sound sleep. He couldn't figure out what had woken him-
"No...stop it..."
He sat up and blinked in the darkness. Reaching over to turn on the light, his heart broke at the way Ming was thrashing on the bed, as if trying to get away from someone. "Ming?"
"Get off me..." Ming begged.
No...he's remembering?? "Ming, wake up!" Kit hesitantly touched Ming's arm, shaking it lightly. "Wake up! It's a dream!"
Ming woke up suddenly with a soft sob, blinking up at the ceiling with fear-filled eyes.
Kit hated seeing that look on his Ming's face. "Ming? Can you hear me?" He wanted to cry, too.
"...Kit?" Ming sounded like a child, turning his head to look at Kit.
"Yeah, it's me," Kit shifted closer. He was about to pull Ming into a hug-
"Don't touch me!" Ming rolled away, curling up into a ball. "You shouldn't touch me!"
Kit froze, staring at Ming's back. He forced down the wave of hurt, reminding himself that Ming had just been dreaming about his trauma, and it was still fresh in his mind. "Why, Ming? Why shouldn't I touch my bunny?"
Ming began to cry. "Y-you shouldn't want me...no one should want me...I'm dirty..." Oh, hell...so this is what Yo felt like...all these years...
"Ming-"
Ming scrambled off the bed, dashing for the bathroom.
Kit followed after him, confused for a split second when Ming got in the shower fully clothed, turning it on as hot as it would go. "Ming..."
"I gotta get her off me," Ming was saying, stripping his wet clothes off and scrubbing himself down so hard his skin turned red. "She's still there...I need her off. Please..." he sobbed. "I need her off of me."
Kit, uncaring that he was still wearing his sleep clothes, got in the shower with Ming and held the crying boy. "I'll help you."
"Please...I need her off of me...I can still feel her..." Ming gagged. "Oh...fuck, I feel sick."
Disgusting. I'm disgusting.
Kit grabbed a washcloth, soaping it up and carefully washing every inch of Ming, then doing it a second and third time when he said he still felt her touch. My poor Ming...my poor bunny, Kit cried inwardly.
Ming half collapsed, half slid down the shower wall, hugging his knees to his chest and crying hard, his whole body shaking. "I remember..." he moaned, unconsciously reaching one hand for Kit who grasped it tightly. "I remember...everything she did...Oh, gosh, I don't want to remember..."
Tears slipped down Kit's cheeks as he drew Ming in close, letting him cry on his chest. "I'm so sorry, Ming. I'm sorry. I wish I could go back in time and stop her."
"Why are you touching me? I'm d-dirty-"
"No, stop that. You're not dirty. You're my Ming, my Moon. My precious bunny. I love you. What she did is on her. She's the dirty one, not you. I will never stop loving you," Kit said fiercely, pulling back to look into Ming's eyes as he spoke. "Do you hear me? Nothing could ever make me stop loving you."
Ming buried his face in Kit's chest again, clinging to him with trembling hands. "I was inside her, Kit...inside. I can't...I can't forget it. I hate it. I hate it, I hate it, I hate it..."
That's why he won't top me. It made sense. It was his body's way of remembering the rape. No wonder it triggered him so bad when Kit had tried that one time... Kit rocked him gently, reaching behind himself with one hand to turn the scalding water off. "I love you, Ming," was all he could think to say.
"You shouldn't."
"But I do."
"Kit..."
"I love you, Ming."
Ming cried. You shouldn't, Kit. You shouldn't love someone like me...
Please don't kill me...
I can't think of anything to say. I feel like I ripped my own heart out and stomped on it. Trying not to cry over what I just wrote...
See you all in the next chapter.
Allonsy~
KitKat