♤ARIANA♤
The day dragged after lunch because I spent all that time worrying, but mostly being pissed at Thion and Chris.
It all started on my way to the cafeteria. Julia and I were moving with the crowd and talking about her plans for college shopping during the next couple of weeks. When I looked over my shoulder where the boys were supposed to be, I found myself coming up empty.
At the time I didn't think much about it because they could've easily stopped to talk to some people or wander off. It happened all the time. I'd see them at the table in a couple of minutes. I was convinced. But when I got there, most of the guys weren't there and that made me suspicious but curious.
It was about 15 minutes into lunch when I saw kids running down the hall and others tripping over each other to exit the cafeteria. It was obvious to me what had been happening at the time, a fight. But what I didn't expect was for Mariana to announce that it was Chris and Thion. While the girls crowded around her to get a look at her phone, I'd frozen up—not quite wanting to believe it. It's when I heard gasps and someone confirming that it was them from the video playing loudly on her phone, that I got up without a word.
Hell they were, was all I thought as I forced myself through the crowd, dodging the teachers who tried to get kids back into the cafeteria.
I couldn't see them because of the crowd for a while but when I finally did, my shock was overrun by anger after seeing their faces; busted and bleeding. I positively lost it. I didn't care that they were glaring and seething at each other with teachers and security clutching them. I was pissed, and they saw that before they got dragged away.
Suffice to say, that anger barely died down. I was unfocused and irritated for the rest of the day, thinking about what happened and the fact that I haven't seen them since. I was going to be pissed if Thion fought Chris because of what happened last week because first of all, Chris and I worked through that and we were fine. Thion said he would back off. And I know Thion would be the one to start it because let's face it, Chris would never. He's a huge softie and too much of a nerd to be caught dead getting in trouble at school.
When the final bell rang after what felt like ten thousand years, I met the girls outside the backdoor of the gym where they were all waiting for me.
"We're going to Chris's," Jess said as we made it across the street and into the back parking lot.
I looked over at her but didn't say anything.
"Thion told us to come over and he'll explain," Julia said. I turned my attention back in front of me as she continued speaking. "Good news though, they didn't get suspended, but they got sent home for the day. Really, Chris got let out because of some shit Thion's going to explain."
"I think it's because he has a clean record and Thion probably threw the first punch," Jess said.
"Hey!" I exclaimed without thinking. "Why can't Chris be the one to throw the first punch?" I had no clue why I said that and I don't know why I wanted it to seem like Chris is all hard, but... why not?
Cause he's a big ol' teddy bear.
I pursed my lips when they all turned to look at me with knowing looks and I knew they were all thinking the same thing.
I rolled my eyes to play it off. "Whatever."
They all busted out laughing and I shook my head, pressing my lips together to hide my amusement.
An arm draped over my shoulders and Mar was in my ear. "We're not making fun of him but... come on." She jostled me with a giggle. "It's not that he can't defend himself- Chris just isn't a violent person. He's too much of a sweetheart."
I was grinning by the time she finished. "Ugh! I know!" I feigned exhaustion.
"What? You want him to be all manly-man, aggressive?" Jeseah turned and started walking backward. She was staring at me with a familiar smirk and a weird look on her face.
She's been nice... somewhat, since she joined our group. Technically, she wasn't a part of our group, but I see her occasionally. The only thing that rubs me the wrong way is when she tries to tease me, like she's doing right now. It gets really annoying but I'm almost a pro at either overlooking it or just ignoring her.
I pretended to think about her retort, not keeping her taunting gaze. "No," I drawled, shaking my head. "I can't- well, I've never seen him that way, even before we met." I hiked my gym bag up higher on my shoulder to give me something to do. "He definitely has the look though. Just doesn't live up to it." I added the last part with a snicker.
"I'm telling!" Jess exclaimed.
That I laughed outright at. "Go ahead. He can't beat me."
This was something I teased Chris about occasionally—him having a 'bad boy' look but having the heart of a nerd—and weirdly enough, it was a part of his charm. It's what made him who he was and one of the things I'm afraid he'll lose when he leaves. So many things about him just draw me in and I know it'll just be a year, but he's going to change. I can feel it. He's not going to be the same Chris I met and got to know and called my friend. I just hope that he changes for the better. Even if he ends up drifting further away each time.
"Seriously though!" Jeseah said and I snapped my gaze to her. "Is he really a virgin?"
I blinked, my lips curling in annoyance as my face screwed up. It was only Wednesday, and I've lost count of how many people asked me that. Like the hundredth time I answer would be any different. I stopped answering on Monday after the third person asked me anyway, but they just keep coming.
It's just so stupid! I know I made a big deal about it when Chris told me but that was just me being a pain in the ass. I knew why he'd thrown it out there and I wasn't mad at him for it. Every time I thought about it—the look he'd given me over the rim of that shot glass and the way he smiled—it made me melt all over again. Even though he doesn't seem to care that people keep running up to him with the same question, I did. It was annoying, unnecessary, and intrusive, no matter that he's the one who made it public. I just wished these people would drop it. It's none of their business.
"How... did that even get into the conversation?" I shook my head. It was obvious that this was something she'd probably been dying to ask me even though she'd heard him confirm it.
"I wanna make sure..." she said sheepishly.
I stared at her blankly. "Why?"
She stopped, her expression changing to something... defensive. "Okay. Calm down."
I stopped too and eyed her with as much attitude she did me. "Do you see me shouting?"
"Girls..."
Jeseah laughed, a dry, humorless sound, and looked away, saying, "Somebody please calm her down."
"Or. The fuck. What?" She looked at me then and I met her gaze cooly.
"Look girl, nobody's trying to take your man-"
I cut her off with a laugh. It was half real because she's confirming what I always knew. All those little flirty gestures and the way she spoke to Chris and him not picking it up... Her failed attempts to catch his attention was getting to her damn head.
"Oh, so this is what this is about?" I raised a hand, gesturing to her in a circular motion. I didn't give her a chance to say what was coming out of her mouth next. "I don't know where the hell you came from, coming up in here tryna mean something," I paused, watching her gape at me, "but please step the fuck out of my face-"
"Arianaaaa..." Julia sang, stepping closer to me slowly.
I shook my head and turned to her, saying, "No." She tried to calm me down by saying a bunch of stuff I wasn't listening to. "I don't know if it's cause I'm short or- or because I look so sweet all the time," I turned back to Jeseah still standing there looking about dumb as hell, "but that's not an invitation to treat me like I'm some mouse in a corner. Since you came here you've been on some dumb shit and I haven't said anything but today's not the fucking day to get on my nerves. You try to walk up on me and believe that I'll fucking drop you."
It was deathly quiet in our circle and I could see other kids slowing down to tune in to what was going on, but I couldn't care. My pulse hammered in my ears and my face burned.
Jeseah finally shook her head and said, "I am not about to fight you over no boy-"
"Oh please, don't flatter yourself," I cut her off, rolling my eyes. My voice raised with my next words. "All of you can think whatever you want about me and Chris, I really don't care. This is about you," I pointed at her. "You know what you've been doing, and you know what I'm talking about. And it's either you get out your feelings or avoid me cause I don't have time for your games."
I pulled on the strap of my duffel bag again and started walking again, making my way around her. I ignored everything she was spewing as I passed.
I was just tired of all these childish ass kids and I was stressed out about things I shouldn't be stressing about; mostly with my friends about to leave me—Chris about to leave me—him and Thion fighting for whatever stupid reason, finals coming up, thinking about going through a whole year with no emotional support... again. I was just tired. All I've been doing is minding my business, trying to be a good daughter and student and people just keep... testing me.
Powerwalking between the cars, it took me a second to hear the footsteps behind me.
"And that's on periodt," Jess said lowly, followed by the girls telling her to shut up but laughing anyway.
♤♠♤
When I stepped into Chris's house after Charlotte opened the door, I gave her a detached hug—as in I felt myself lean in for it but I hardly felt her touch. She briefly told us that the rest of the guys were in the living room and that's where we went.
"Are you serious?" shot out of my mouth the second I spotted Thion spread out on the couch holding one ice pack to a spot on his brow and another on his stomach as Nate held one to his cheek. "You said-"
"Man, fuck what I said, he was pissing me off," Thion cut me off without hesitation.
"You curse in this house again and you're not coming back here," Charlotte said sternly from behind me. "And that goes for everybody."
Thion apologized while I just stared at him.
"Okay, so what did he do?" I demanded with a shrug.
He kept his eyes on the ceiling for a quiet moment. "Maybe I wasn't over what went down last week. He was just saying some dumb sh- things," his eyes glanced beyond me. I didn't know if Charlotte was still behind me or not and I didn't turn to look. "He triggered a blackout. I swear, I blinked and we were fighting." He tried to shrug, only to groan.
"Can someone take this from me now?" Nate whined. "I've extended my hold."
Thion didn't even think twice before saying calmly, "Boy, stop acting like you don't wanna be all up on me."
Nate didn't say anything as he pulled the ice pack away and dropped it on Thion's chest carelessly, making him grunt.
The girls had already gotten cozy around the room, so Jess was grinning as she took Nate's now vacant spot and took the pack, pressing it gently against Thion's face again. I watched her snuggle against the side of his body and kiss his temple all cute and shit, whispering something as she did, and he visibly relaxed.
"So that's it?"
"You just not gonna ask me if I'm good?" he protested, pulling the ice pack away from his eyebrow to turn his head slightly and look at me.
I almost winced at the not so pretty colors and swollen areas of his face.
"You're not supposed to be fighting!" I said instead. That really was my problem. I hate the thought of them fighting, especially if I can't determine if it was called for. I didn't care who they were, I would've been just as upset if it was Nate and Sean in this situation.
Thion grinned, or as much as he could with the swelling and cut on the corner of his lips. "This ain't the first time Chris and I had a little falling out, Ari."
"Says her! She just went apesh- monster... she just went monster on Jeseah," Mar finished hesitantly, lowering herself on Thion's other side and switching his hand holding the ice pack to his eyebrow for hers.
"Really?" Sean perked up from his seat looking between me and the girls. Jeseah didn't stop here with everybody for obvious reasons and thank God for Jesus cause I don't think I could stand another glimpse of her for the rest of the day.
"Threatened to drop her," Julia emphasized.
"Aren't you supposed to be at work?" I pointed at her.
She drew back with an amused expressed, mocking offense. "You gonna drop me too?" They went up in hysterics and I spun around before they could have me smiling. I wasn't in the mood for it.
Charlotte was still in the doorway. When I'd turned, I immediately met her expecting expressions.
I sighed heavily. "Chris was playing some stupid truth or dare at the party on Saturday and told everybody he's a virgin, which he is as you know, and everybody at school has been asking me even though he keeps confirming it." I waved behind me. "Those two already had me in a bad mood today and she asked me the stupid question again and I just..." I shook my head, not wanting to rehash what happened. "Can I go see him? Maybe he'll tell me what happened." I looked up the stairs then back to Charlotte.
I thought I saw a smile before she turned away, saying, "Just one minute. I need you to bring something up."
"Okay," I breathed.
When she dashed in the direction of the kitchen, I turned back to everyone. "Anyone wanna come with?" I asked, cutting off what I realized was Julia giving the guys a rundown of what happened and what I'd said in my altercation earlier.
She stopped and they all turned to me.
"You know he don't want us up there," Carlos said, leaning his head against Sean's knee. He was sitting on the floor by his feet.
"I'm sure he needs more ice," Charlotte said, cutting off what I was about to say. I turned to her when she was handing me two fresh ice packs.
"Is it bad?" I whispered.
Charlotte pursed her lips. "No," she drawled and shook her head in a way that told me the opposite.
I turned toward the staircase then said over my shoulder, "I'll ask him if you guys can come up."
"You know he's gonna say no!"
I knocked softly twice before opening Chris's door. I pushed my head inside the room and searched, calling his name before slowly letting myself in.
He was sleeping.
I could tell by the steady rise and fall of his chest and the way his hand was slack around the ice pack he held to his shoulder and the one resting on his abdomen.
Slipping into the room quietly, I pushed the door back until it was slightly ajar and made my way over to the bed. His TV was on and playing at a low volume, but I didn't pay much attention to it to figure out what was on. I noticed some other things, like his closet being open partially, and clothes lying crumpled on the floor by the foot of his bed. As small as it is, those are things that he doesn't normally do, because of him being a neat freak and all, which means his mind's been going through a lot.
As I got closer, I became increasingly aware that he was shirtless except for a pair of basketball shorts. The tussled sheets were evidence that he's been all over the bed which is why his shorts are lower on his hips than usual.
This is also a state I've never seen him in. Even if he's asleep, Chris always has a way of keeping himself together, and as fine as he was, I couldn't focus on that. Not with the bruises coloring his pale skin and the not so peaceful look on his face. I was worried more than anything.
I stopped at the side of the bed, not knowing what to do at first and placed the extra ice packs his mom had given me on his nightstand before climbing onto the side of his bed slowly. I peered around his body for the remote and took it up from next to his head on the other side of him. I paused the show before saying his name softly.
He was stretched diagonally across the bed and his head was falling off a pillow while one of his feet dangled off the other end. It really shouldn't be a big deal, but I've never seen him so... restless. It was weird and I had the urge to call his mom because other than that, he was sweating. A lot. His face and hair were damp, and his chest glistened from the sunlight coming in through the large window in the slanted wall of the ceiling.
I didn't know how he did it and I'd asked him if he hadn't thought of getting curtains or something, but Chris is... special. I could assume the sun was why he was sweating so much but it wasn't even hot—it was actually cool in here and every other second his body gave off this little tremor.
He has to be sick.
"Chris," I said again hesitantly. I moved his hand from his stomach slowly to take the melted ice pack from under his palm. I felt how hot his skin was and glanced at his face again, before taking up the ice pack. He stirred a little. I got the one on his shoulder too and moved away to place them on the nightstand.
"I should really call your mom, shouldn't I?" I said to myself, letting my eyes roam him briefly. I grimaced at the discolored bruise on his stomach, the deep pink one on his shoulder, the swollen blue under his right eye, his swollen and split bottom lip and another bruise on his jaw that was a mixture of different shades of red, and some purple.
I blinked out of it when he groaned, "Please don't."
I didn't have to think before I responded. "You're sick and I don't know the first thing about taking care of sick people."
"Not," he grunted, trying to get up, "sick." He groaned, clutching his side, then ended up clutching his shoulder and falling back on the bed.
I nodded to myself. "You need painkillers."
He let out a weak snort. "Get out." I held back a grin as he slowly tried to readjust. "My sheets are-"
"Wet?" I cut off his hoarse statement, nodding. "Yeah, that's cause you're sweating like a pig."
"Why are you here?" he whined, trying to roll away.
"Okay, okay," I said, putting all jokes aside. "What do you want me to do? I see people getting cold towels or something in movies. Should I do that?" I spoke with my hands held up cluelessly, slowly moving off the bed.
"Wait," he said as he sat up slowly, making low pained noises and I couldn't take it.
"Do you want me to get you Advil or something?" I asked firmly as he slid to the edge of the bed. I made a face at the round pink bruise on his lower back.
He stretched, rolling his neck and clutching his side.
"Chris..." I dragged out his name, almost singing it, and was about to go around the bed to him when he started talking.
"I think I have some in the nightstand."
I eyed him for a second and went into the top of his nightstand. I immediately spotted the small bottle laying on its side surrounded by other little stuff like pens, pieces of paper, and all the other things that go in nightstands. I didn't have one so I wouldn't know. But then I saw a box. A box that I've never seen in real life and up close but I'd know what the hell it was. Condoms.
I pursed my lips, letting my eyes go around the room briefly before deciding to mind my business.
Oouuu...
With my lips pursed, I took up the bottle of painkillers and closed the drawer, then bounced my way across the bed to him until I was standing in front of him.
I opened the bottle and handed it to him, as my mind wandered to which chick had him buying those. I mean, he could just buy them so he's prepared but I can't help my mind.
They're probably for Daniella. I don't care if she's his ex, they got something going on. I still see him talking it up with her like they're friends. But I'm not bothered. I don't care. He can talk to whoever he wants. And she's nice enough, I guess. We haven't had any heart-to-hearts but a hi and bye here and there works just fine.
I watched him swallow two pills without even flinching, the psycho, and I couldn't help but see him in a different light. A virginless Chris just wouldn't be the same-
Okay, I need to chill.
Changing the ways of my thoughts, I wanted to ask him about today. About the fight. But what came out was, "Okay, talk to me. What do you need me to do before I call your mom up here?"
"Come here," he said hoarsely.
I eyed him with wide eyes, my stomach getting queasy. "First of all, no," I said, holding up my finger at him and resisted the urge to step back. "You're sicker than death, and you're sweaty, so there's no way I'm getting close to you unless I'm..." I tried to find something to say. "Bandaging or- actually doing something."
He seemed to ignore me. "You're not gonna ask me about the fight?"
That caught my attention and finally made me stop talking. I blinked when he didn't say anything else. "I was... waiting until you were in better shape." It went quiet and I rolled my eyes at his staring. He was acting weirder than usual. "Dude, you're sick and shaking, and sweating and all the other things. I'm trying to make you feel better before jumping into the whole interrogation, okay?" I didn't wait for him to say anything before hurrying around the bed to get the new ice packs that were probably melting already.
I made my way to his side again and sat next to him on the bed instead of standing in front of him again. Handing him one of the ice packs, I pressed the other to the irritated skin below his eye. He winced then sighed, and I held it more firmly against the injury once it didn't seem to be bothering him.
"You can tell me now," I said lowly, then added, "or maybe you'll like a bath first?"
"Are you saying I stink?" He tried to turn his head, but I kept my hand firm and he jerked back around a little.
"Don't talk in my face," I said playfully. It was partially because of him being sick and another because his look was really making me squirm. It wasn't his normal, stalker look. It was... stalker times one hundred. I know, I never thought it could get worse either.
Normally when he looks at me like that it makes me nervous, so him turning it up like this is going to have me outside of my element. I can't have that.
"And I'm saying, you might want to because you can't be comfortable."
He hummed and I watched his eyes close. "Would you run me a bath?" he asked lowly, uncertain.
"If you want me to," I replied softly. "Do you want me to?"
"Please."
Smiling, I didn't stop myself from leaning up to kiss below his jaw, then jumped up, still holding the ice pack to his cheek. "Okay, I will."
"Just give me about fifteen minutes and I'll be able to move okay," he said, placing his hand over mine on the ice pack so I could move away.
Playfully, I placed my hands on my hips. "He did not beat your ass that bad."
He let out a loud laugh but forced his mouth closed when a cough came up and a pained look crossed his face. "He didn't," he got out gruffly, clearing his throat, "but between lunch and now, that sick I started feeling since yesterday got worse and I don't know how. My bones are killing me."
I took a step back, pointing at him. "Yeah... I'm gonna call Char."
"All right, wait," he said, and I stopped. "I want to tell you first before you do." I clasped my hands in front of me and waited. "We were going to ask you all to prom."
On the outside, I didn't move an inch, but I froze up and my stomach squeezed in a more uncomfortable way this time. I didn't say anything, but I saw he wasn't looking at me anymore.
"I know you don't want to go and it didn't make sense to ask the rest of the girls and exclude you or put you on the spot." He met my eyes and my face got warm because he was looking at me like that again and his soft words weren't helping. "I was nervous, and I didn't know what to do and the guys noticed. I didn't want to do it because I knew you'd say no, and... I didn't know how I'd handle that, so I just tried to avoid it altogether by not doing it."
I was going to say something, but he shook his head and I stopped.
"We had flowers and chocolate," he said with a small smile and I forced myself not to mirror it. "It was corny." He shrugged a little and I snorted. He gave me a lazy grin. "But Thion had a lot to say. I basically told him to fuck off and..." he gestured to his face.
With my need for comedic relief, I squinted at him mockingly. "This is my fault, then?"
He pretended to think about it, making a low sound in his throat. "Basically, yeah."
I smiled at his playful look and took a small hesitant step forward.
"Why do you make me like this?" I said to stop myself from blurting out the original words still on the tip of my tongue.
His eyebrows furrowed and his amusement faded a little. But he didn't stop smiling.
"You know I always say yes to you," I remind him softly and watch his mouth fall open as he stared at me.
It wasn't something I admitted a lot because he'd use it against me. I know I didn't want to go at first, and just thinking about it made my skin crawl, but staring at him now, I know that if he'd asked, there's a ninety percent chance I would've said yes. He just had to look at me the right way. It's pathetic but it's true.
"What are you saying?" He knew what I was saying, I could see it on his face. But Chris is the kind of guy who needs extra confirmation, so I gave it to him.
Smiling, I nodded slowly and moved closer. I was right in front of him now, our toes almost touching. "You wanna go to prom?"
He lowered the ice pack from his cheek. "We- it wasn't- we were going to-"
"Do you want me or not!"
"Yes."
Wait...
We stared at each other silently and I felt the tension—the crackle of something between us. We were close enough to touch but none of us moved. Still, I knew what would happen if we did and as much as I really, really, really wanted to...
"You're sick," I murmured, my eyes dropping to his lips briefly. "And you're hurt." I nodded as a way to convince myself that those were good enough reasons to step away. "And that's not what I meant," I quickly added. "I-"
"I know what you meant. Yes."
"Chris," I drawled, taking a slow step back but keeping his gaze.
That look. Even though I've been trying not to think about what it meant, I can't deny it anymore. Not after what he just said.
My heart hammered and I stared at him dumbly, taking shallow breaths, and not stopping him when his hands outstretched to grasp my hips gently. On the other hand, it's not like I could stop him with how heavy my body felt.
He's not saying what I think he's saying. He's saying something else. He has to be- or he has to be joking- no. No, that look... it didn't look teasing at all.
"I know," he said, answering the unspoken words on my face. We can't. "I just thought, it'll be better if you knew. Or I was more direct about it anyway." I gulped, my anxiety getting the best of me. "At least for my sanity. Said Thion."
I couldn't even laugh like I would've if this was another topic because my whole being was in shock. Maybe I should've prepared myself for something like this—I should've embraced it instead of pushing it away because deep down I always knew there was something sizzling anytime we were in the same room. But I never thought this would happen—that he would actually want me, wholly. I felt like this would always be something that never went anywhere, that one day we'll both finally get up and say 'It's time to stop. This isn't going to work.'
The more I stared at him and thought about what's been happening between us since the first day we met... if things were different, we could work. I can't deny it, but I know we weren't perfect and we'd have our differences—we do have our differences—and we'd have a lot to work on, but it could've happened. If our moms weren't the way they were and he wasn't about to move to another state for school, I could see Chris and I happening as vividly in my head like I used to when I daydreamed about him before we met.
It just couldn't happen. Not now anyway. We both knew that.
"Say something?"
My lips parted and I was going to talk. I swear, I remember how to speak. But...
His hands lost their firm grip on me but he didn't let go. "I don't- it's not like I expect anything from you, Ari." Just by his expression, I knew he was going into panic mode and he's about to start babbling. "You don't have to feel the same way, I just had to tell you and I feel a lot better but that doesn't mean I-"
"Jeez, if you weren't so disgustingly sick right now, I'd kiss you. Shut up, Chris."
He nodded, the sparkle returning to his eyes. "Of course, you'd tell a guy to shut up as he's pouring his heart-"
It was my time to panic and as stupid as it was, I didn't want him to say it out loud. Saying it out loud gets rid of all doubt and makes it more real. I didn't want it to be real if he was going to leave in a couple of months. I already couldn't handle him leaving in general.
"This can't be real," I said, hardly hearing myself. "Not now."
He bit his lip and his gaze dropped. His hands moved down to the sides of my thighs and he just couldn't resist rubbing his fingers into my skin over my leggings. I tried not to think too much of it but because of what he just confessed and the way he was unknowingly working out the tension in my thighs from gym, my skin and insides lit up.
He looked back up at me and his next words did bring a smile to my face.
"Thion literally beat me into admitting it to myself because I've been denying it," he said, meeting my eyes again. "Because I thought the same thing you did. I didn't think it was a good idea—of us happening, especially not... now. Well not like you feel the same way and that just because I have feelings fo-"
"I know what you mean."
He held my gaze for a silent moment. "I'm really not that sick, to be honest."
I laughed because I couldn't help it. But it was a good way to try and level out the tension. I was debating with myself, not knowing if I should address this head on—to confront what I might feel for him if I think deep enough or look too much into it—or just pull away and go run his bath like I should've fifteen minutes ago.
Stepping closer, I pressed myself into him, not caring about his sweat like I usually would. "I'm not taking any chances," I muttered, wrapping my arms around his shoulders gently and keeping my touch light—not wanting him to crumble because of his injuries.
His lips pressed against the exposed skin at my collar and I closed my eyes. We stayed that way for a while and I was sure he felt my erratic heart and he probably knew just by that how I felt. I won't say it and he knew that. He knew why. And it might've been easy for someone else, someone stronger, but I want this 'saying goodbye' thing with him and the rest of my friends to just hurt. I didn't want it to crush me by saying bye to... whatever the hell he'd even be to me after every feeling and emotion was laid out between us. His confession did minimal damage because he didn't spell it out. He only explained some of it and that's how it's going to stay.
We could wait a year. I won't ask him to wait for me, and I doubt anyone would show any interest in me the way he does, but by then we'll both have figured out what we wanted. And if any of this was even real, the distance would prove it.
♤♠♤
No. Chris does not have Coronavirus.
All of you stay safe and healthy. Take precautions. Take care of yourselves.
Your lives aren't a joke.