Lucas' POV
"Please, please, please, please, please, please! I'm a shit singer and I need to be trained by thee Gods! Thou Punk Rock Masters please enlighten thy on thou art of singing! My soul shall rest at thou feet and plead with the Gods!"
"Woah, calm yourself, little one." Mikey puts his hand out to shush me.
"Yeah, don't go all Shakespeare shit-talk on us. We didn't even finish school." Calum adds.
"Yeah, we're dumbfucks." Ashton laughs.
"Agreed...we're absolutely stupid. Stay in school, kids!" Luke jokes.
I shake my head in amusement. "You guys are idiots...but I love you. Now, will you please help me sing!?"
"Look," Mikey starts. "We have a tour to get ready for and lots and lots of rehearsals..."
I give him a pleading look.
"So, I expect lots of pizza as payment." He sighs.
My eyes light up. "Thank you, thank you, thank you! I love you guys so much! You won't regret this!" I grin from ear to ear and they laugh.
"So, where should we start?" Luke quizzes.
*******
"YYYYEEEEAAAAHHHHOOOOWWW!!!"
"WE'RE BARBIE GIRLS IN OUR BARBIE WOOOORRRRRRLLLLDD YEAAAH I FEEL IT!"
"HIYA BARBIE!"
"HEHEHEHEHHEHE HI KEN!"
"WANNA GO FOR A RIDE!?!"
"SURE! HEHEHEEEEHEHE!"
"Okay, now show us what you've learned."
I clear my throat. "YEEEOOOOOOOOWWWW MICHAEL WANTS ANOTHER SLICE MICHAEL WANTS ANOTHER SLICE MICHAEL WANTS ANOTHER SLICE! PIZZA PIZZA!"
They all put their hands under their chins, looking me up and down, then break out into grins. "We've taught him well."
"Agreed."
"Mhm."
"PIZZA!"
"OH SHIT, YEAH! IT'S IN THE OVEN!" Mikey shouts. I rush into the kitchen and grab a kitchen towel, fanning away the smoke and Mikey cusses as he shakily takes the burnt pizza out of the oven.
"HOT HOT HOT! OW OW!" Mikey shrieks, shaking his hand out and kissing where it burnt his hand. I try not to laugh. "What are you laughing at, little one?"
"N-nothing." I bite my lip, shaking my head.
"LUCAS COME PLAY FIFA!"
"NO NO NO I WANT TO SHOW HIM HOW TO PLAY BASS!"
"I WAS GONNA DYE HIS HAIR!?"
"HOLD THE FUCK UP I WAS GOING TO MAKE HIM WATCH A MARATHON OF FAMILY GUY!"
"GUYS!" I shout. That gets their attention. "I'll do all. I'll let Mikey dye my hair while I watch Family Guy and then we can play bass and Fifa later."
They all shrug, going back to bickering back and forth. How do they put up with each other? I have a hard time getting along with my footy mates at school enough as it is. I shudder at the thought of living with them.
The 5SOS house isn't that bad, though. It's really...teenage guy-ish. It's messy. It's got games galore. PS4, Xbox, WiiU, etc.) A drum set sits in the corner of the living room along with three guitars on stands. Magazines are scattered across a cherry wood coffee table. The kitchen has bar stools and a an island to sit at and eat. A sink, a steel fridge, stone oven, pantry, cupboards filled with snacks, and a pool table by the living room in a room of its own. Mikey, Cal, Ash, and Lukey all have their own bedrooms. Mikey's and Ashton's are on the main floor towards the back of the house down a long and skinny hallway. A bathroom, a closet, and a storage room are also in the hallway. Luke and Calum have the master bedroom upstairs, but, it splits into two different rooms that are connected. An en-suite bathroom is also connected to it and a deck. A hot tub is outside on the patio. They also have a slip n' slide...
Upstairs is a guest bedroom, the master bedroom, a music studio, a bathroom; a total of three bathrooms in the house, and they have what they call the "Chill-Out" room. It has a flat screen, games, movies, bean bags, a popcorn machine, posters of All Time Low, Katy Perry, Green Day, etc.) on the walls, and a case for their awards they've won. It's my personal favourite room in the house. I like to spend my time the most in here. I usually watch hours upon hours of Family Guy with Ash and Dragon Ball Z with Mikey and I play Band Hero with all of them and they sing songs and act crazy. It's really fun. They're the best uncles you could ask for.
My dads are fun, too. They took Anna and I on a family vacation to Brazil and they met up with a few old friends and fans from their touring days. We all loved it. The culture was amazing and the people were great. The scenery was beautiful. We went to Rio and Harry and Louis told us all their memories from how they got swamped and had to sneak out of the fans way in a van with pillows all over and Uncle Niall and Dad got claustrophobic and hot and were almost breaking down into tears.
Dad said he was eager to get out and kept asking how much longer and Papa said he tried to comfort everyone by telling jokes. His jokes are horrid. Papa kept speaking Spanish and greeted people warmly and Dad showed us places they visited and we took lots of pictures. Anna was in love with the food. She had an eating contest with Papa. They scarfed down tacos, enchiladas, fajitas, corn, and some other stuff I didn't know. It made me and Dad sick just watching. They didn't feel too hot after that.
Liam and Sophia moved out of the mansion and are in their own homey place. It's big but very warm and welcome. It has business-like furniture and a warm fireplace and a lovely kitchen with flowers on the table and basically a modern-day couple house.
Niall basically lives on our couch in the mansion and Zayn, Perrie, Evie, and Finley are as great as ever and still live in the mansion. Dad and Zayn are really close and Niall and Papa are close so it works out. Liam visits frequently. Nina I take care of now and I play fetch in the backyard with her a lot and she cuddles with me on my bed. I have an amazing room that used to be the guest bedroom but we morphed it into my man cave. It has Zayn and I's graffitti all over it. The walls not showing a trace of white. My bed is in the wall and has a blanket that drapes down to close it off and if I go down a ladder, I'm on the ground and there's a desk underneath my in-wall bed. It's cool. I really like the 'remote-controlled-moving-TV' that retracts down from the ceiling with the push of a button. I'm not used to this stuff cause at the adoption center we had limited TV. I'm more of a book guy. I like to read to kids and I love reading John Green and some of the classics. I'm a sucker for Pride and Prejudice. But, I also love the really dark writing as well. Edgar Allen Poe being one of my favourites.
Mr. T.S is in Seattle with Anna and Bimbo is as crazy as ever. Bimbo just yesterday flung his poop at Nick Grimshaw who came by to visit Harry. I think Louis taught him that...Louis' not very fond of Grimmy. Not at all. He's very jealous of him. I don't know why, though, when clearly Harry loves him.
I'm eating a new ordered pizza and sat watching Family Guy with Ashton while Mikey dyes my fringe dark blue and straightens my curls and quiffs it up and then he looks at me for a long time and yells out, "YES! HE'S PUNK ROCK! OH MY GOD THE GAY HAS WORE OFF HIS PHYSIQUE!"
"Excuse me?" I sass.
"Sorry, er...I mean, you look rad, dude. You didn't look gay at all before...nope. But, seriously, this dark blue suits you. Compliments your eyes. I'll go fetch my Green Day shirt and then we'll put few rips in your skinny jeans and pierce your lip and then we'll be good to go." He says casually but I spit out my soda.
"WHAT?!"
"What?" He looks confused, like this was normal.
"My dads would kill me! I can't pierce my lip!? Are you insane-" I stop him before he can answer. "Wait-don't answer that. Of course you're insane. You're Michael Clifford."
"Oh c'mon it's just your lip! It won't bleed very much! It'll only sting and bleed, but I'm sure you'll be fine." He waves it off.
"ONLY!? No! No! No. No! I can't. I won't! I object! I object most strongly!"
"Dude, you sound like you just came out of the royal family. Lighten up a bit. I was joking! It doesn't even hurt. You need to learn how to live a little. You sound like a dying old man who shits dust he's so ancient. It's the 21st century, grandpa."
"Did you get sass lessons from my Dad?" I cock my head.
"Nope. I came like this. The full package." He smirks.
"Right...God, this family is mental. Anna was right."
"Wanna prank Cake?" Mikey wiggles his eyebrows suggestively.
"I like your style, Mr. Clifford." My eyes light up with mischeif.
"Why thank you, Mr. Stylinson. Now, shall we?" He holds his arm out for me to link with and we skip away while Ash is distracted by Quagmire.
"AHAHA OH MY GOD GIGGITY!" He laughs like a mad man.
We head upstairs and Mikey hushes me as we tip toe to the master bedroom and stand outside the door. What does he have planned?
"Okay, so, when they're not looking and since you're smaller than me, I want you to take this," He hands me a small bottle that says 'Permanent hair dye. Lasts up to three months! Color: Flamingo Pink' I snicker and Mikey smirks, his eyes shining with a devious dark expression. "And I want you to put it in Luke's shampoo bottle. It's the Axe. Calum has the weird ginger smelling crap."
"You, sir, are a genius."
"Thanks, little one. Now, when I give you the signal, rush into the en-suite bathroom." Mikey instructs. I nod. He waits about five minutes before giving me a thumbs up and I sneak behind Calum and Luke as they play on the PS4 in their room and they start shouting at each other over who's winning at Fifa. I fight the urge to laugh and crawl to the bathroom and quickly unscrew the Axe shampoo and fill it with the hair dye, smirking evilly. Oh, Hemmings, you have a shit storm coming your way.
I crawl my way back to Mikey who's watching at the door with a hesitant look. I smirk and he sighs in relief as I make my way back silently. Phew. What a rush. I love pranking. I prank Anna a lot with Dad and Papa and I prank Niall in his sleep. And even in daytime...He's fun to mess with with food. We went to Nando's a few nights ago and Niall had chicken left over and I hid it in my mini fridge so Niall had a fit in the morning, demanding to know who took it or ate it. He never figured it out.
I got new clothes, too. Louis and Harry took me shopping a few days after I got adopted. Zayn even bought me a leather jacket so we could match. Louis picked out a few muscle tees and black skinny jeans for me and Harry showed me a weirdly patterned shirt that I didn't like. I stuck with Louis' look, mainly. Harry pouted. I wear mainly striped shirts under jean or leather jackets, skinny jeans, combat boots, Converse, TOMS (occasionally), Vans, and I wear Addidas tees a lot as well along with Louis. I have a lot of beanies and snapbacks, too. I turn fifteen in a week. I'm really excited because the boys have something amazing in store for me. They won't tell me what, though. Anna is also coming home for my birthday. She claims her gift to me is the best and no one's will beat it. She's really competitive.
My phone buzzes in my pocket.
One New Message
From: Anna Banana Fee Fi Fo Fanna
Hey, weirdo. What's your fav type of music?
P.S tell the family to suck my ass...especially Lou cause he isn't in a good mood...I angered him..oops. *innocently smiles* His sassy ass is on a rampage. Your birthday is stressful, kid.
To: Anna Banana Fee Fi Fo Fanna
I like lots of music...anything from Kings of Leon to Green Day...even our dads music is good...and Ed. I love Uncle Ed's music. :)
P.P.S I know...he's been in a pissy mood all week. I left to go to the Aussies for a few nights just to get away from it. It's fun here. What'd you do to piss him off more? I know I'm a stressful kid.
From: Anna Banana Fee Fi Fo Fanna
Nothing of your conern...it's birthday issues. I told him it wasn't a good idea. He wasn't too pleased with that since he's going all out, as per usual. At least there's no elephant this time...you're lucky. I like your taste of music. Ed is my favourite, too. I have varied interests as well. My #1 right now is All Time Low and this new band that remind me of our crazy uncles. They're called Discharge. (CAME UP WITH THIS BY MYSELF GUYS! Can a band be called that, please?) New to the music industry this year.
P.P.P.S I know you're a stressful kid. I was the frustrating one. Now you're the stressful one. Welcome to my world, LuLu.
To: Anna Banana Fee Fi Fo Fanna
ELEPHANT!?! WOW. Should I be scared? Discharge? Never heard of it? Is it punk rock or pop? And I quite like your world...it's...random. And very amusing. Nothing compared to the orphanage. I can't compare them, though. I went from rags to riches in seconds and it's overwhelming..I'm not used to it...I feel like they're just throwing money in my face and I do nothing...ugh.
Uncle Mikey dyed my fringe blue and is threatening to pierce my lip. Save me from the wrath of Larry.
From: Anna Banana Fee Fi Fo Fanna
You're on your own, kid. I'm in Seattle and Jaudio is VERY LOUD in the other room...Monroe is bugging me. I need a girl friend here. I should go Skype Audd. Peace out, little bro! (Mikey gets distracted by boobs. Throw a bikini model magazine at him and you should be fine) Also, if Cake are fighting, give them ice cream and pop in a movie and they'll snuggle like kittens. As for Ashton...you don't have too much to worry about him. Just DO NOT GIVE HIM SUGAR. I REPEAT. DO NOT. You have been warned. I've seen the worst. He stays up until 4AM banging his drums if you do that. If you want to sleep, you'll listen to me. Goodnight Xx Anna
I sigh, taking a deep breath. Well, I can live a little? Right? I grin up at Mikey.
"Pierce my lip."
*********
"Are you sure about this? I mean...your dads will be at my throat..."
"I can just take it out so they won't know." I smirk.
"True...but it has to stay in for about a month and you have to clean it so it won't get infected...so that won't work. Try hiding your face, maybe? Suck in your lip? Hell I don't know, let's do this!" He pulls out a needle and some ice along with an apple slice. Dear God. May I rest in peace.
"Have you done this before?" My voice quavers.
"Well, no...but, I went with Luke to see him get his pierced and it looked easy! Don't worry, little man. I got this."
I'm going to be sick. I'm not too keen on needles.
He tells me to relax, which makes me even more tense. Then, he rubs the ice on my lip and places the apple behind my lip in my mouth slightly and gets out his needle and I'm beyond petrified now. Somebody save me. Help! The Big Red Clown is about to puncture a needle through my skin. How lovely. I'm positive this is not how you do this.
"You ready?"
"Not really."
"Okay." And he sticks the needle through my lip.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH FUCK! SHIT OWWWWWWW OH MY GOD! HAZ, LOU, HELP! FUCKING GINGER SNAP DONKEY SHIT THAT HURTS SO BAD!" I scream, caressing my lip that now has a hole in it and is bleeding slightly. Mikey quickly puts one of Luke's black rings in and my lip feels numb. And swollen.
I touch it once the rings in and instantly regret it as it stings and I cry out in pain even more.
"Well don't touch it!"
"WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN HERE I THOUGHT SOMEONE WAS BEING RAPED!?!" Calum bursts through the door and he looks from 'Creepy-Needle-Holding-Clifford' to 'Rocking-Back-And-Forth-Bleeding-Me' and his eyes widen at my lip.
"Oh my God...you didn't. HARRY AND LOUIS ARE GOING TO KICK OUR ASSES AND NEVER LET HIM OVER HERE AGAIN! MIKEY!?!" He goes up to Mikey and slaps him. Hard. "WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU EVEN THINKING!?"
"I was giving him a make-over! He looks so punk rock now! Look, he's wearing your band shirt! And we ripped his skinny jeans and pierced his lip and dyed his fringe dark blue." Mikey smiles proudly. I give Calum a pleading look.
"He's terrified! Look at him!" Cal motions to me as I rock back and forth, trying not to cry at the pain in my lip and the taste of blood and metal on my tongue. It doesn't settle well with me, making my stomach churn. I think I'm going to legit vomit now.
"Lucas? Little Man? LuLu? Lu? KUCAS!?"
"Oh God, I think he's going to be sick! He's paler than you, Mikey!"
"Shit...that's not good...he's whiter than Betty White."
Calum chuckles a bit before I instantly vomit all over Mikey's floor and Calum and Mikey make disgusted gagging noises and rush out of the room. Luke comes in with cleaning supplies, gloves that he snaps onto his hands, and a mask over his face. He looks like a doctor.
"Dr. Fluke," He says behind his mask. "How can I help?"
"I feel sick...I threw up...don't step in it. I just wanna go home." I groan, flopping over onto my side.
Luke, or "Dr. Fluke", gets me some saltine crackers and 7UP and then cleans up my disgusting puke. Puke. Muke. Wow, that's funny. Puke is Muke. Muke is Puke. Muke is my puke. I chuckle at the thought and Luke looks at me weirdly.
"What's so funny?"
"Muke is my puke."
"What the-? Are you talking about me and Mikey's ship name? It ryhmes with puke...we know," Luke shakes his head in disapproval. "I like Cake better...mmm delicious. I like Mashton, too. Ash and Mikey have a cute bromance. Lashton is alright, too...Cashton...nah. I like my Cal-Pal. He's mine. But, I gotta admit, they're hilarious teenage girls together." Luke mumbles to himself.
"Okay, slow down. I didn't mean to get into ships. You ship yourself with your best friend? Wow. That's...dedicated."
"I know. Cal and I have a weird relationship. Mikey likes to beat me up...and prank me. He claims I'm the only non-punk rock in the band and I ruin it. He's a big bully. The only thing I like about him is he bought me a PS4, he lets me cuddle him in the mornings, and uh yeah that's about it...he demands pizza, demands foot rubs, demands Fifa, demands everything. He's a bastard. A sassy demanding bastard who is too lazy to do anything." Luke rambles.
I laugh. "Sounds like an old married couple."
"You don't know the half of it."
"What are you two bafoons talking about?" Mikey comes in.
"Nothing of your concern."
"Tell me now, Hemmings. I know it's about me. Spill the beans, peasant. I hate you, anyways." He shrugs, smirking. Luke glares at him, putting his hands on his hips, much like his mother. Mama Liz scares the shit outta me. But, she's Queen.
"You're a demanding, lazy, cranky, sassy sonofabit-" Luke lists but gets cut off by Mikey gripping the collar of his shirt and pulling him towards his chest, glaring into his eyes like daggers peircing into an innocent baby.
I mentally grab popcorn.
"I dare you to finish that sentence, Hemmings." Mikey threatens.
"-Sonofabitch bastard." Luke finishes smugly, smirking at him. That's when Mikey pounces, attacking him and punching him. He punches his face, his chest, his stomach, rolls them on the ground and yanks on his hair. It's like a dog and cat fight. I don't help, instead, Calum and I watch on, sitting with our feet propped up on Mikey's bed as they tumble around the room, knocking down shit and then chasing each other out of the room.
"Well," Calum widens his eyes. "that never gets old."
"They do this a lot?"
"That's the understatement of the century. They're at each other's throats every damn day. One little thing Luke says about Mikey and BAM they're at it like tigers. Mikey usually wins...Luke is just a helpless gazelle. He may be the biggest and tallest...but he's the softest and wouldn't hurt a fly. He's all bark and no bite. He says a lot of shit around us but he'd never lash out. It's Michael that lashes out. Poor Luke is always on the other end of it. They used to hate each other and now they're like frienemies. It's weird cause they cuddle every single morning. And, if Luke forgets, Mikey will physically drag Luke out of our bedroom, down the stairs, across the hallway, and into Mikey's room and lay him across him so he is being cuddled. It's cute...but then daylight and night come and it's like they're an old married couple who can't stand each other." Calum explains.
"Wow." I breathe. I have no words. I'd have never expected this.
"Yeah, no kidding. Luke and I are cuddly...like playful kittens. We may banter a bit but it always results in cuddling like sleepy kittens. Mashton is more compatible. Mikey treats Ash like the baby instead of Luke. Luke is the youngest, though. Ash is the oldest. Mikey likes Ash's many different laughs and likes to make him laugh on purpose just to hear them and then they play Fifa and crush each other and hold hands crossing the street...and Mikey says he's straight...pssfftt. I think we're all a little gay for each other, to be honest. I love girls, I want a girlfriend, but, I think one of these days all of us are going to end up having a foursome." Calum just let's it all out of the bag. Wow, I didn't know people liked to talk to me like this. No one's ever really confided in me before.
"Yeah, you guys have an unbreakable bond and weird bromances...It doesn't really surprise me. You guys will probably still live together when you're 80." I tease and Cal and I laugh. I really like bonding with my uncles.
"You know, you're a cool little dude, nephew." Cal half smiles, ruffling my hair.
"Thanks, you're not so bad yourself."
"Well, Luke is probably beaten up so I should go make him some ice cream and watch movies with him while I kiss his bruises. Poor guy, Mikey's such a bully to him sometimes." Cal shakes his head sadly.
"Eh, they're just boys. They do that shit," I chuckle. "I'd be worried if they weren't wrestling."
"Yeah, true. Goodnight, Lucas, hope you feel better! We'll call your dads in the morning to come pick you up."
"Thanks, Cal. Goodnight." With that, he leaves Mikey's room and I'm left to lay in the dark, thinking about how I'm going to be in deep shit with Louis and Harry tomorrow with my new look.
____________________________
DOUBLE UPDATE IM SO BOSS.
ONE AT NIGHT AND ONE DURING THE DAY.
PLEASE LOVE ME.
I LOVE YOU GUYS AND I HOPE YA LIKE IT SO FAR!
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IM HYPED AND STILL PARTYING
HAPPY NEW YEARS! This is my gift to you.
I'm sad Larry didn't come out on New Years like my dream...I have this weird thing where most of the dreams I have in my sleep, come true in the future. Some weird voodoo shit I think.
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