I'm here standing in front of your house wondering if I can really leave this place without you. Well you're not really here anymore but I want to be in places where we made our memories together, just like the park and your house.
I can still remember the time when I lost my father. I stayed in your house all week because I can't bear seeing our house without him in it. But right now, I would prefer to stay here and remember you every time than leave this place. Do you know why?
"Hey! You can't stay here forever. Let's go out." You said.
"I don't want to." I cried.
"I miss dad, Matthew." I hugged him and cried on is shoulder.
"Shhhhh. It's ok. Cry all you want but you need to go out. Your dad doesn't want to see you like this."
"He won't see me anymore anyway. He's gone!" He sighed.
"Do you remember when we first met?"
"Of course." I said pouting.
"You know that I also lost my father back then. It was really the main reason why we move out. I always cry because every time I open my eyes and wonder my eyes around the house, I always remember my father. I also remember every memory we made together and I couldn't bare remembering all of it without seeing him. Without him by my side. So, my mother decided that we just move out so we can start a new beginning. I thought it was going to help. I thought that finally I can move on already. But that's not the case. I can still remember him and I still cry. But then I met you, you were the one who helped me to finally accept that his gone already. You were the one who made me move on and continue my life. And I'm here, Cris. I'm going to help you do that just like how you helped me." I started crying so hard on his shoulder.
But how can I do that now? How can I move on when you are not there to help me to? How can I move from the person who taught me how to move on? God, I miss you so much.
"Come inside, Cristine. Mrs. Matthew told me that you will visit here today." I went inside your room. It's still the same. Your guitar is still here. Your things are still here. But you aren't here. I saw a paper and the cassette player I gave you last Christmas.
Dear Cris,
Play it.
Your one and only best friend,
Matthew
I played it and there it is, your voice. I miss your voice, Matthew. I miss you. All of you.
Do you remember when
I said I always be there, ever since we were ten baby
When we were out of the playground, playing pretend.
I didn't know it back then.
Now I realize, you were the only one.
It's never to late to show it
Grow old together the feelings we had before,
Back when we were so innocent.
Hi Cris! Wipe your tears me, Cris. I finally used your gift for me. I don't know why you gave me this. At first, I thought you recorded some message for me or something, but it's empty. But I'm glad you gave me this. I won't buy anymore. Lol. Anyway, you can keep this. Listen to it every time you miss my voice. I recorded many, but don't play it yet. Maybe soon. Gotta go Cris. You're knocking on my door right now.
"Stop crying. It's ok. I know you miss him. I miss him too." I didn't know that his nanny is already inside his room caressing my back. I cried so hard. I didn't know how can I still cry. It feels like these tears aren't running out no matter how hard I cry. It makes me wonder, in books I've read, they always say that they cried until they ran out of tears. But why am I not running out of tears?
1. Go to my grave.
2. Go to the park.
3. Go to our house and go to my room.
4. Go to our elementary school.
5. Go to our favorite cafe.
6. Go to our high school school. (You'll have to do many things here!!!)
7. Go to the library.
8. Open your locker.
9. Go to the gym.
10. Go to the hospital.
By the way, you should visit it by sequence.
Seven to go, Matthew...