Toska: A state of great anguish, melancholy, longing beyond bearable bounds.
"To the well-organized mind, death is but the next great adventure."
-J.K. Rowling
Mira's P.O.V.
It has been a while since Bella figured out about the whole wolf thing. And whenever I'm home, all she wants to talk about is how it happened and when. Of course, I never told her, that was personal and sacred. I was told by Billy, Harry, and Quil Ateara III, that we cannot share our secret about turning into wolves to anyone, not even family. I had to agree to it, but now since Jacob has spilled some of the secrets, all Bella wants to ask is those types of questions, and it's starting to bother me.
At this moment, the pack and I were chasing the stupid redhead bloodsucker. We were all in the woods, chasing after here. Jacob pushed himself, probably because he had promised Bella that we would protect her. Victoria had jumped off a tree and pushed off another, going in a different direction. Jacob kept on pushing himself to go faster, while the rest of us lagged behind him.
I could smell Harry and dad out here, probably hunting us because of Bella's loudmouth couldn't keep shut. I was trying to make sure we led her in the other way, but we somehow lost her. But once I got her scent again, I found it very close to Harry and Charlie, almost on top of them. I felt my panic spike as I pushed myself harder as well, making sure dad and Harry didn't get hurt.
When I arrived there, hiding in the bushes, making sure nobody saw me. I saw the most heartbreaking sight. I saw dad hovering over a still Harry's body, panic, and sadness in dad's chocolate brown orbs, small tears running down his face. I slowly backed away, panic running in my veins, thinking about how Leah, Seth, and Sue Clearwater are going to take his death since he was a father and husband to them.
I bumped into something from behind as I was backing away, I slowly looked over at my shoulder and saw the guys there, I had bumped into Sam. I looked at them with sadness in my wolf eyes, I slowly shook my huge head at them, before sprinting away. All their voices mushing inside my brain as I ran away from them, I could feel them chasing after me. Sam's voice had caught me off guard, he said 'Bella... she jumped off the cliff, Jacob just told me. The redhead bloodsucker had gone after her in the water. I went to check up on them at the beach, Jacob had fished her out. But she's shaken up and freezing. They are heading back to her house'.
I quickly turned my body around, heading in the direction of dad's house. Rage burning in my veins as I pushed myself to get there faster if it wasn't for Bella and the stupid Cullen's, then Harry wouldn't have died, dad wouldn't have to mourn over another dead friend, the Clearwaters didn't have to mourn over their father and husband. I let out a fierce growl pass between my snarled lips, thinking of all the ways that I could kill Victoria for what she has done. I kept on running, thoughts flying threw my brains. The others haven't followed me, but I could feel Embry close behind, not wanting anything to happen to me, he's been trying to talk to me threw the mind link, but I keep on pushing him back.
When I got to the house, I quickly changed and put clothes on. I made my way towards the back door, not noticing the black unfamiliar car in the driveway. When I was halfway through the yard, I heard rustling and then a warm body was next to me. I didn't have to look to know that it was Embry, he wrapped his arm around me and said: "I'm sorry". I looked up at him and said "It's not your fault, darling. It's Bella and the stupid Cullen's fault. I hope I never see any of them".
When I opened the door, we were met with a foul stench that smelt of sickeningly sweet. I could feel my anger bubble up, as I was about to step inside, a hand-launched onto my forearm and held me in place. I looked over and saw that it was Embry, he had a hesitant and angry look in his beautiful brown orbs, he said: "We can't go in there, there's a vampire in there". I rolled my eyes as I looked up at him, I said "Well, Jacob's in there. And I don't care, this is my house". I pulled my hand from his hold and barged inside the house.
I could hear Embry groan, but his footsteps following behind me, he clasped his hand around my waist. When we walked into the living room from the small hallway, I was met with gold eyes looking over at us. Before I could do or say anything, I was detached from Embry and small arms around me. I growled as I ripped myself from the person and moved closer to Embry, who put me behind him as he glared at the person. A delicate small groan slipped past the person's lips, the person, who I now know it was Alice, said "Hey, what was that for?!".
I glared at her from behind Embry, I said: "Why did you leave and never say anything, huh?!". Alice let out a small sigh, she said "Edward and Jasper thought it was best if we left, it was none of our ideas''. I rolled my eyes, I said "Yeah, like I've never heard that one before. 'Oh, it wasn't our idea, but let's follow it'. Yeah, that sounds like a lovely idea, not! Why are you ever here? Come to tell us some sob story, well too bad, I don't need any of you. I have Embry and the guys, I don't need leeches like you in my life, unless I'm hunting and killing them". I could see the hurt in her golden eyes, but I couldn't care less. I looked over at Bella and Jacob, they were staring at me with wide eyes, Bella had tears in her dull brown orbs.
I looked at Jacob and said, "What's going on here, Jake?". It was like everything went back to play before Embry and I had interrupted, Alice was looking at Bella, while Jacob looked at Bella also, but with a pleading look. I looked up at Embry, his lively beautiful brown eyes looking into mine, I said: "What the hell happened?". Embry shrugged his large muscular shoulders, he said "Don't know. It's probably a vampire problem". I nodded my head as I placed my forehead on his warm, tan, muscular shoulder, I said "Your probably right. Let's watch", as I moved to the side of him, him wrapping his arm around me as we watched the drama unfold.
Alice looked at Bella, she said "I'm here because Edward had thought you died. But I can't see with all this werewolf stench in here. If you need me, I'll be outside". I growled and said "Watch yourself, leech. You don't want us to get angry". Alice looked over at me with a hurt look but it soon vanished, and she made her way towards the front door and closed. Bella turned towards me with a glare on her pale face, she said "Was that really necessary? She's sorry that they left, okay?". I rolled my brown orbs at her, I said "Yes, it was necessary. And I don't care if she's sorry, she can go to hell for all I care, the same with them".
Bella looked up at Jacob and started to talk to him, but it was soon interrupted when the phone rang. Jacob walked over to it and answered it and said "The Swan's residence?", he listened to the other person on the phone. Jacob soon said "Charlie's not here at the moment, he's arranging a funeral", he spit those words out in venom. He soon pulled the phone away with a confused look, and then looked at Bella.
As Jaocb was opening his mouth to say something to her, Alice had flown into the house like a bat flying out of hell. Alice looked at Bella with sadness and desperation in her golden orbs, she said "Bella, it's Edward. He thinks you're dead. Rosalie told him why I came back". Bella whirled around on Jacob with a glare, she said "You knew! That's who called, wasn't it?! Why didn't you let me talk to him?!". I stared her down while I stood next to Embry, Jacob stared down at her and said: "He didn't ask for you".
Alice looked between the two until her golden orbs landed back on Bella, she said "Bella... Edward's going to kill himself. He thinks you're dead, so he wants to die". I rolled my eyes as I looked up at Embry, I said: "That's some twisted up Romeo and Juliet shit I've ever heard". Embry let out a chuckle as he placed his chin on the top of my head, he said: "Yeah, you can say that again". We both turned towards the drama, Bella bit her lower lip as she thought of the choices of what she had to do. She soon looked up at Alice and said "Let's go save him".
A hurt look crosses Jacob's as he stares at her, but she doesn't even look at him as she stares at Alice with her dull brown orbs. Alice nods her head, she said: "Go pack, I'll get the car started". Bella nodded her head and rushed up the stairs to pack a light bag, and then she came down the stairs just as fast as she went up. I raised a brow at her as I crossed my arms, I said: "Are you really leaving, just to save the leech who broke your heart?". Bella's dull brown orbs glared over at me, she said "I'm going to save him because I love him! You wouldn't know what that even is!".
I raised a brow at her, I said "Really? Are you sure about that? Because, if you haven't noticed. My lovely wolf boyfriend is standing right in front of you, or have you lost your sight from being a total and utter bitch. I don't know why we decided to help you, you're just an ungrateful brat, and in need of a time out. Harry died because Victoria found him, she was only here for you! You're the one who killed him!". Bella looked hurt from the words I had just spat at her, but she quickly masked it by running her small fingers, threw her greasy dark locks, and placed a glare on her face. Bella turned on her heel and left the room, going out the front door. Jacob quickly went after her, Embry and I making our way out of the house and on the front lawns. Jacob was begging Bella not to go, but she just looked straight ahead while she talked to him, talk about being a bitch.
As Alice told them that they had to leave, I made my way towards the door. I bent so that my head was level with the rolled down the window, I stared at Bella with annoyance swimming threw my dark eyes, I said "You know, when dad hears that you left, he's going to be pissed and sad. But at least he'll have me, who he knows that will never leave him". Bella opened her chapped pink lips to snark back, but I was already walking away from the car. I tucked myself into Embry's strong arms and placed my head under his chin as I wrapped my arms around his bare waist, I said "We should go to the Clearwaters, check on everyone". Embry nodded his head and we slowly made our way towards the woods, not noticing or feeling the looks on our backs as we left.
~*~*~*Time Skip~*~*~*
When we emerged from the woods from walking, we made our way over to a grieving Sue Clearwater. Her copper skin a little flushed from crying, her brown orbs filled with sadness, as the sclera of her eyes are red from crying also. A frown slipped onto my plump pink lips as I walked over to her, a sadness filled my orbs as I stared into her black orbs. I collected her into my arms, hugging her as she let out small whimpers of sadness pass her lips. I hugged her tighter to my body, I told her small comforting words in her ear as she clung to me as she let out sobs.
When the sobs went back to whimpers, she slowly pulled back from the hug with a sad smile on her lips. She gave a grateful smile and said "Thank you, Mira. But, could you perhaps go and check up on Seth for me?", her voice hoarse from crying. I gave her a small smile and a nod of my head, and she detached herself from my warm body. I made my way inside the house and saw my dad and Billy standing there, looking at the floor with sadness in their dark eyes, the pack was also there. Jared and Sam were trying to talk to Seth and comfort him, but he just sat on the ground with his knees pulled up and his head between them. I could see his shoulders shaking from where I stood.
I had no clue where Leah was, but she was probably out in the woods grieving by herself. I made myself promise to go and check on her once I was done with Seth, he was probably needing me more than her. I slowly made my way over towards the pack, and slid down the wall. I placed a hand on Seth's arm to comfort him, but he only just leaned into and slowly was making his way towards my shoulder as he let out small whimpers of sadness. I wrapped my arms around the boy, bringing him to comfort him as I said sweet nothings in his ear.
Once he had calmed down, I had noticed that his breathing was even and his eyes were closed. I sighed as I looked up at Jared, I said "Can you take him to bed? He fell asleep on me". Jared nodded his head as he bent down to pick up the smaller boy, but Seth clung onto me as Jared tried to pull him away. I sighed as I looked around the room and saw that Billy and my dad were outside talking to Sue, I looked down at Seth with sadness. I pulled away a little bit so that I could be squatting on my feet, and then collected the boy into my arms and hoisted him up in them and began walking towards his room.
Once we were in there, I peeled his top blanket and placed him on the bed. I slowly made my way towards his feet and peeled his shoes and socks off to make him comfortable, he was only dressed in shorts and a shirt. I made my way up towards his face, and delicately ran my fingers through his hair in comfort when I noticed the distress on his face. A hand was placed on my bare shoulder, I turned my head and saw a smiling Sue standing there. She whispered "I can handle it from here. Charlie and Billy left, the others are waiting outside for you".
I gave her a hesitant look, she chuckled as she placed her hand on Seth's high cheekbone, running her fingers delicately as to sooth him. Sue looked over at me with her black orbs, she said "Don't worry, Mira. I got things under control here". I slowly nodded my head and turned my body towards the door of the room, as I was stepping out, her voice stopped me. She said "You know... you're going to make a wonderful mother one day, Mira. I can already see". I gave her a thankful smile, I said "Thank you, Sue. And if you need anything, I'll leave my number for you".
Sue nodded her head and looked back down to Seth. I made my way out of the room and wrote down my number on a piece of paper that was in the kitchen. When I made my way outside, I saw that the guys were all standing there, Emily was huddled into Sam's side as she let out small whimpers. I gave her a small encouraging smile, I looked at the guys and said "I'll be right back. I'm going to go check on Leah". Before anyone could speak, I made my way towards her scent, tracking it with my mighty good nose.
When I came across her, she was sitting on the woodsy floor with her knees to her chest, and her head in between them just like Seth was. Her shoulders shaking as small sobs fell from her lips, but I could also see a hint of anger in her as well. I slowly made my way towards her and sat down, I placed my hand on her shoulder to let her know that I was there for her if she wanted to talk. She looked up at me with her sad brown eyes, she slowly placed her head on my shoulder, letting sobs out between her full pink lips. I wrapped an arm around her and moved her closer to me for comfort, but she quickly pulled away and was glaring at me with her brown orbs full of hatred.
When her brown eyes fell across my tattoo, it was like she made a snarl come from her lips. I quickly stood up, trying to get away from the angry woman, giving her as much space as possible. I had just noticed that when I was with her, her whole body was hot like it was on fever, almost like mine was. As I made eye contact with her, I said "Leah, you might want to calm down right now. You're going through changes and I think you might want to calm down before something happens". She kept her glare on me, she said "Shut your mouth! And don't tell me what to do!", as she slowly stood up.
I gulped, not wanting to anger her anymore than she already was. But it was like my silence did the opposite as she let out a blood curdling scream from her lips, and the next moment she was a wolf. She had the same height as I did when I was in my wolf form but I was only a few inches taller than she was, her coloring was a gray color, she looked like a grey wolf. She was staggering a little bit from how heavy her head was, but once her brown orbs locked onto me, she leaped into the air towards me, jaws snapping.
I quickly turned tail and ran away from her, I was only slightly faster than she was while I was in human form, but I speculate that it had to deal with the fact that she never had to do this before. I grunted as I made myself to go faster, I could feel her warm breath as she chased me down. As I kept running, I could feel the others on their way to come help. We made our way into a field, I kept my distance from the angry she-wolf. She kept her dark eyes on me as I stayed where I was.
From the corner of my eye, I saw that the pack had just arrived. As I kept my eyes on them, I didn't see the small grey wolf coming at me, her jaw wide open. A scream left my lips as I felt her teeth dig into my side and part of my thigh, I slumped to the floor, the dirt enveloping my body. I could feel someone removing Leah from my side, and felt hands on my wounds. I let out a pained groan as I felt myself getting picked up, the jostling from the person who was running making my side hurt.
I soon felt myself being put on a bed, and someone pulling my shirt up so that my wound was revealed. I could hear the gasps as someone saw it, it must have looked bad. I opened my eyes slowly and saw that I was in Emily's house, and all the pack was in there. I looked and saw that Sam was the closest, which means that he was the one to carry me. I let out a groan of pain, I said: "It must look narly if you guys are looking like that".
They all quickly covered up the worry, but Embry's brown orbs still showed distress in his brown orbs. Emily came rushing over with bandages, she looked around at the boys until her eyes fell on Embry. She said "Embry, I'm going to need your help. You guys, I need you to leave so that we can have space". As Paul was opening his mouth to respond back, Sam nodded his head and pushed everyone out. Paul stood there with a sad look in his brown orbs, he said "I love you, Mira. Stay stro-ong", as his voice broke at the ending, small tears could be seen coming down his russet colored skin.
I gave him a smile to comfort him, I said "I'll be fine, Pa. No need to worry, I'm strong". Paul let out a sob as he nodded his head, he said "I'll always worry about you, no matter what", and then he left the room and soon the house. I looked up at Emily and Embry, who hovered over me. Emily sat down on the coffee table, she looked down at the wound on my side with sadness. I let out a strain chuckle, I said "Well, we better get rocking and rollin'".
Emily nodded her head as she looked at Embry, she said: "I need you to sit behind her while making her sit, she needs to lean on you so that I can put the bandages on". Embry nodded his head and slowly moved me so that I was sitting up, and slid behind me, making me lean against his chest as Emily brought out alcohol to clean out the gashes. Once the small cotton pad touched my skin, I let out a small whimper in pain, the stinging too much on my ripped up flesh. I buried my face into Embry's neck, not wanting to see the bloody wound on my side. Once the stinging stopped, Emily brought out the bandages, she said "Usually this would need stitches, but since you heal fast, I'm just going to wrap it up. The wound is already starting to heal as we speak".
Emily slowly wrapped the bandages around my torso, she had made me take off my shorts that I had on so that she could wrap the bandages around me. She left for a few minutes and soon came back with Embry's shirt in her hands, she had helped me take my bloody and ripped up shirt off and placed it with Embry's. Embry helped by making sure it was all the way down on my way, and then placed me back where I was. I could feel my eyelids slowly drooping down, and I let it. I accepted the sleep that came, not feeling my body being gently picked up and being carried and placed on my bed, and all the love and warmth around my room as I slept, not knowing about all the loving pack members held up in my room, around the place as they made sure I was okay.
Word Count: 4, 002
Author Note: Sorry for the late chapter. I didn't really know how to start the chapter. But I hope you guys like it!