The white powder that Ashley had just inhaled calmed her down. Ever since she got attacked in the forest by Monty she had started using cocaine as a way to cope.
She knew that she was being extremely hypocritical since her boyfriend was a literal addict but she couldn't help it. She was just so scared that Monty would come back.
She thought she was going to be okay, but she wasn't. She was far from okay.
The knock on her window caused her to jump. She quickly hid away the cocaine under her pillow before she rose from her bed and looked outside.
Her anxiety rose when she saw that it was Justin standing on her window, holding onto the frame of the window so he wouldn't fall.
"Hey babe.", he said with smile as he climbed into her room. "What's wrong?", he immediately asked when he saw her eyes and her nervous fidgeting.
"I've been crying.", she quickly answered even though she knew that he saw through her lie. "Why are you lying to me?", he whispered as he gently grabbed her chin to look at her eyes.
The realization hit Justin when he saw the redness of her eyes and the way she was trying to avoid his gaze. It reminded him so much of himself.
"Are you high?!", he exclaimed loudly. She sat down on her bed with fear in her eyes.
She looked so small and vulnerable, just sitting there. She knew damn well that he had all the reasons in the world to be angry with her.
"Please don't scream at me...", she mumbled as she nervously tried to avoid his eyes.
Ashley thought he was going to hit her. For a second, she believed that this relationship was just like the one she had with Monty. Even though she knew that he would never ever do such a thing, it was like a reflex to flinch when he got close.
"Fuck Justin, you're high right now?!", she almost screamed since she was so upset and angry.
"Please don't scream at me.", he said and suddenly looked really small and sad.
He crouched down in front of her, with a frown on his face as he grabbed her hands so they would stop shaking.
"I know that you are going through a lot right now, but drugs are not the answer. I also know that I'm not the right person to tell you that.", he started as he subconsciously stroked her hands as he spoke.
"If you 'OD, I- I don't know what I'll do. I can't live if you die.", he whispered as the tears started swell up in both of their eyes.
"If you OD', I wouldn't be able to live with myself.", she admitted, the tears falling down her cheeks freely. "I can't imagine a future without you, Justin.", she started. "I started looking both ways when I crossed the street after I met you. I didn't want to die anymore after you came into my life.", she wept as she held his hand tightly.
"I'm seeing things, Justin.", she whispered, his frown growing bigger by the second. "I see Monty, I saw him in the woods and I've seen him when we've been together as well.".
At this point, Ashley was sobbing. Justin hugged her tightly as he whispered that he loved her over and over again.
In his mind, Ashley was the strongest woman in the world. She had been through so incredibly much. She had dealt with Monty, Bryce, her father's death, her brother going to jail, her mother's absence, Jeff's death, Hannah's death and tapes, all on her own.
He admired her. He sometimes saw himself as weak because he was struggling with his substance abuse while she was going through so much more but he knew that she would scold him for ever thinking so.
When Ashley calmed down, she could finally see his dark circles under his eyes. "Are you not sleeping?", she asked, her voice still fragile after her cries.
"I've been with mom, you know.", he explained with a small sigh. "Right.", Ashley answered, not bothering to hide her dislike for the woman that left her own son.
"I know you don't like her... but she's the only family I have left.", he said as he ran his hand through his hair. "I know baby, I know.", she mumbled as she embraced him.
——————————————————————
"I swear to God, they are tracking us! The parents knew about the Find Your Drink party!", Clay exclaimed into the phone.
"I don't know, Clay.", Ashley sighed on the other line. He had called her right after she had come home from school, right after Justin had left to talk to his coach about going to rehab again.
"Think about it, Ashley! My parents knew exactly where I was when I was running this morning and they drug tested Justin and I! You have to have felt something?", he asked, she could literally hear him nervously walking around his room.
"Dude, I don't have any parents.", she sighed loudly. Clay also let out a frustrated sigh. "Justin's been away a lot at night, do you know where he's been?", he asked.
"He's been at his mom's place.", she answered with a frown.
"His mom?"
"Yep. The wicked bitch is back.", she said as she sat down on her kitchen counter.
"This isn't going to end well, you know."
"I know."
——————————————————————
Clay had actually made the Find Your Drink party happen which surprised Ashley since she couldn't remember the last time he was at a party but she was happy none the less.
She was aimlessly walking around the huge house while she was waiting for Justin to finish talking to Clay.
She locked eyes with Winston. The last time she talked to him was in Monét's after he revealed that Monty was gay. He seemed sweet but her friends had specifically told her to not talk to him.
"Hey Ashley, you going outside?", he asked with a small smile. "I don't know, what's happening outside?", she asked with a frown.
"Well, we were going to pour one out for Monty, thought you might want to be there.", he said with raised eyebrows. "Uh, yeah, sure. I'm waiting for my boyfriend but we'll be right there.", she answered quickly, and as she watched Winston walk away, she couldn't help but feel threatened. He knew something.
After just a few seconds, Justin came storming into the living room where she was standing. "Are you okay?", she asked with a worried expression, stroking his chin with her thumb to calm him down.
"Clay was smoking weed.", he answered with a monotone voice. "What? Clay? Our Clay? Clay Jensen?", she asked with a scoff, she couldn't believe it. He just nodded before they both walked outside hand in hand to see what was happening.
"There's one person who was looking forward to this party 'cause they wanted our senior year to be bigger and better than anything before, but he cannot be here with us tonight.", Diego started, his eyes locking with Ashley's.
She felt like she couldn't get away from Monty. He was everywhere, even though he was dead.
"Instead, we're going to pour one out in his honor. I know some of you didn't like Monty, but I think we all can agree that he deserved to live to see this day."
"Hey, Estela, Ashley. You two gotta be apart of this too.", he said with a sinister smile when he saw Ashley's look.
She was immediately pulled forward by two of football guys. She instinctively grabbed Estela's hand, ready to protect her whatever happened. When she glanced back, she could see that Justin was being held back as well, he looked like he would explode of anger.
Diego had his arm around Ashley's waist as Luke did the same with Estela. The two girls were equally as uncomfortable as they looked out on the crowd.
Diego gave her a small shot glass filled with some unknown alcohol before he leaned down to whisper in her ear.
"You can at least try to fake it."
She shot him an angry look, not giving a fuck that she didn't look happy up there. She didn't even bother to hide her anger as she met eyes with Justin.
"To our friend and brother. Monty De La Cruz."
She walked away from the two jocks and Estela without pouring out the drink, instead she downed it as she walked into the house again.
"That was pretty disrespectful, don't you think?"
His voice made her spin around. The smirk on Monty's face only grew when he saw how angry she was.
"Disrespectful, my ass.", she scoffed as she crossed her arms.
"They really forced you to go up there, huh? I taught them well.", he chuckled as he watched her expression go from anger to disgust.
"You're disgusting.", was the last thing she said before walking away from him, away from his laughter and away from the party with Justin close behind her.
Hello, guys! Me and my mom just got a cat and she is so cute, I can't even🥺
Alright so I know a lot of you might be angry with Ashley because of drug thing but you have to remember that she has been through a lot and she needs to cope one way or another.
I'm also not trying to romanticize substance abuse!
I love Justin and Ashley so much even though I know my heart is going to be broken🥺
Don't forget to vote and comment!
-elise