Jennie is lying on a silk-soft bed that smells like a blend of fresh mint and slight sweetness.
She's on her pajamas, a tank top with a space pattern and short black shorts hugging her waist loosely.
Somehow, the clothes feel tight against her body.
It's nighttime. Jennie knows because only the faint grayish light of a full moon is illuminating the room.
Hovering above her, a very familiar figure stares into her eyes intently, chocolate orbs clouded by something Jennie still can't recognize.
The brunette only knows that she feels really warm.
"Hi", Jennie tells them, as low as she can, afraid of breaking the spell.
"Hi, love", the figure answers, letting their body lean down a bit, allowing Jennie to caress soft cheeks freely.
"You look amazing", the brunette hears, and she blushes lightly, her thumbs still brushing against tender skin.
Jennie feels the way her heart starts to beat more quickly.
"Come here", she demands, her voice coming out throatier than she expected, and the figure lets their body press against Jennie's fully.
The brunette widens her eyes a bit, a pleasant rush running from the end of her spine to her shoulders, making her shiver.
Jennie feels a breath against hers, and her own fingers begin to tickle with impatience, the warmth of her chest now spreading throughout her body.
She doesn't wait anymore. She can't. Her lips press against pink ones almost desperately, and in a matter of seconds, she's in the middle of an open-mouthed kiss that gets her panting.
Jennie's hands trail down slowly until her finds prominent collarbones, and they stay there for a while, caressing left and right.
She feels soft fingers pressing against the skin of her waist just enough to make her gasp, the sound being mirrored by the figure on top of her, and then Jennie realizes.
"Girl", she murmurs between kisses, just because, and the female immediately raises her head.
Jennie frowns, letting her arms embrace a lean neck, unconsciously trying to pull the body above hers back down.
Doe eyes stare at her, wide, somewhat scared, and the brunette only pouts.
"What is it?", she asks.
The girl blinks, full relief beginning to adorn her expression.
"Is this alright?" she asks cautiously.
"You stopping? No. Please, continue".
Jennie receives a perplex look followed by a teasing smile.
The female lowers down once again then, dragging her lips across the inside of Jennie's jaw, making the brunette tilt her head in a sign of content.
Jennie's hands are pressing against the girl's shoulders as her eyes close. A gentle nip at the side of her neck makes her open her mouth instinctively.
It's intoxicating, both the feeling and the sweet scent, and the brunette knows that everything should feel new.
But it doesn't.
The soft hands caressing the skin of her stomach under her tank top doesn't seem unfamiliar at all.
She tilts her head again, her right hand buried in soft blonde hair, and silently claims for another kiss.
The girl complies immediately, taking Jennie's breath away, and the brunette opens her legs slightly wider to let the lean figure fit more comfortably between them.
She feels a thigh pressing just a bit harder, enough, and Jennie can't help but to gasp again, this time slightly louder, overwhelmed but in the most delightful well.
"Jennie", the brunette feels against her mouth, and doesn't even register the mewl that escapes from her own throat.
She's absolutely not thinking at all when she answers.
"Lisa".
And then, everything is clear.
Lisa's doe eyes, her lump lips, her greyish-blonde locks.
The softness of her hands, the absolute adoration of her touch.
The intensity of Jennie's feelings.
The blonde pulls away once again, her soft features shadowed by horror, and the brunette can only stare at her, perplex, as every single piece of the puzzle in her mind falls into its corresponding place.
Jennie feels her heart beating even faster against her chest, her already pinkish cheeks turning into a deeper crimson color, and she remembers having been in a similar situation many years ago, but this time is different.
Because she's not scared.
She's slightly confused, but she's somewhat relieved, knowing that she has finally, finally grasped all that she was missing, unable to see.
Jennie doesn't speak immediately, her mouth still open in slight surprise, and she only snaps out of her stupor when she becomes aware of the tears that coat Lisa's cheeks.
The brunette frowns, concerned.
"Lisa", she tells her, but the blonde doesn't stop crying.
"I'm so sorry, Jen. I don't even know... I tried; I swear".
Jennie feels the way the blonde tries to get up, but she doesn't let her.
Lisa sits on the brunette's thighs then, as Jennie raises the upper part of her body, sitting on the matters, trying her best to catch the blonde's tears with her hands.
"I'm sorry", Lisa sobs hopelessly, and the shorter girl swears that she feels her own heart breaking.
"What are you sorry for, honey?", she asks.
The blonde loos at her, wrecked, pure confusion plain in her face.
"You...Aren't you disgusted?"
"Of what, Lis?"
"Of this. Of us. Of me", Lisa's voice breaks, and Jennie gaps.
She throws her arms around the girl's neck to hug her tightly, desperate to comfort her.
"I don't. I would never. You are gorgeous, Lisa, and I love you".
"I know, but this is not... this is not what..."
It's not. It's true.
Or maybe it is.
"I love you. You make me feel good. You make me happy".
Lisa stares into her eyes with a shocked expression.
Jennie pecks her lips, unable to stop herself.
"Jen?"
The brunette caresses the bridge of Lisa's nose lovingly.
When the light that fills the room turns a bit yellowish, she knows that her dream is ending.
"Thank you", she says then.
"What for?"
"For everything. For being with me".
Lisa smiles sadly.
"So this is a goodbye".
"I don't know. Do you need to keep coming if I get the real-world Lisa?"
The blonde looks at her for a second before smiling widely.
"Who says that this isn't real?"
The tone changes.
Jennie chuckles.
"No offense, babe. I just want to kiss you outside here as well".
"This is my dream, then".
The brunette denies with her head.
"No, it's mine. It always has been".
And then, everything turns golden.
-
Jennie wakes up and immediately sits up on her bed.
All she can think about is her dream and Lisa, Lisa, Lisa.
It was there, it was always there.
Her feelings, her thoughts, her wishes.
Everything has been twirling around Lisa for so, so long.
And she's realizing just then, and it's nice, and somewhat relieving, and it fills her heart with so much warmth, but at the same time it's overwhelming.
Because she wants to tell her.
She wants to text her right then, really, but Lisa deserves so much more, the whole world, the best of the best, so Jennie does what she's done since a few months after arriving to New York.
She relies on Jisoo.
Jennie sends a quick message.
I think I'm love with Lisa.
No, wait, I don't 'think'.
I know I'm in love with her.
This might be surprising, but I am.
What do I do?
I want to tell her.
I'm panicking, Soo.
Should I buy some flowers?
Do you think she'll turn me down?
The brunette throws her phone besides her and just stares at the celling, her mind overflowed by soft stares, and a small nose, and the cutest smile ever.
Jennie giggles, her left hand pressing against her mouth so as to stop herself, but she can't.
She feels giddy.
She's still grinning when she checks on her phone.
It's indeed surprising.
Or it would be, if you didn't melt in your place every time she stares at you for more than two seconds.
Anyways,
I'm proud.
Can I call you? I can give you amazing romantic advice.
Have you seen my girlfriend after all?
Jennie giggles again, not entirely sure why, and just tells Jisoo that it's okay for her to call.
Right before, though, she sends another quick text.
Hey, Lisa!
I hope you are having a lovely morning.
Want to hang out today?
I miss you.
The last part is a bit risky, maybe, but it's not something she hasn't told the blonde before.
There's very little that Lisa doesn't know about her.
Jennie bites her lower lip this time, trying to pretend to be at least a bit composed as she answers Jisoo's call.
-
Jennie is waiting for Lisa in front of the apartment building, holding a bouquet of daisies in one hand and a box of definitely too expensive milk chocolate truffles on the other.
It's super cheesy and the brunette knows it, but the memory of the blonde confessing to adore classic romantic gestures some weeks ago is still fresh in Jennie's mind.
She's nervous. She's really nervous. She has gone through two almost-major mental breakdowns while buying the gifts with Jisoo a few hours ago, the possibility of Lisa deciding that she is not enough making Jennie feel a bit sick in the stomach.
And the brunette knows that it is only one possibility.
Lisa might have moved on, which is very probable, or she might have decided that Jennie has made too many mistakes for her to consider starting a relationship.
Jisoo has been there, of course, assuring the brunette that, judging only by the way the blonde stared at her when she wasn't looking, Jennie shouldn't be worried in the slightest.
Girly is head over heels, maybe even as much as you. It's still debatable. I've seen you giving Lisa heart eyes even after she dropped the three pizzas we spent two hours waiting for, Jisoo told her.
So Jennie feels kind of reassured.
But she still feels like throwing up, honestly, and both her hands feel a bit clammy, and her knees are definitely shaking lightly as she catches the sight of the gorgeous blonde walking towards her.
Jennie feels enchanted as every time she gets to appreciate Lisa's beauty approaching, so much so that it actually takes her some seconds to realize that the blonde is already in front of her.
"Hi, Jen!" she greets her cheerfully, and the brunette smiles by instinct.
"Hi, Lis".
"Oh, wow! They are gorgeous, Nini", Lisa exclaims, her curious eyes fixed in the bouquet Jennie still holds awkwardly in her hand, "Who are they from?"
Jennie looks at the flowers almost as if surprised by them and then back at Lisa, shaking her head.
"Oh, no, no. These... they are for you".
"For me?" Lisa asks in a mixture of incredulousness and excitement, "but why?"
Jennie sees the way in which Lisa's eyes light up almost impossibly and mentally pats her own back.
She hands Lisa the bouquet, feeling somehow proud.
"Because you are really pretty".
Lisa giggles, unable to hide her delight, and Jennie perceives a pinkish tone covering the tallest girl's cheeks.
"And these are for you as well. They are your favorites", the brunette tells her, offering Lisa the elegant package of chocolates.
"Oh! Thank you so much, Jen", she says, and then, her eyes get a bit less bright, "I don't have anything for you".
The brunette gestures almost frantically with her hands.
"Oh, no. There is no need. This is a surprise, after all. Don't worry".
"Wait... are you going to deliver some bad news?"
"What? No! I mean...I kind of want to... talk to you. But it's not... bad".
I hope it's not bad.
Lisa looks at her friend with interest. Jennie is visibly nervous.
"Okay. Once we are in?" the blonde suggests, already trying to hold the flowers and the chocolates with one hand so she can take Jennie's with the other.
The brunette nods once, trying to seem at least a bit relaxed.
She is not sure of being able to fool Lisa.
They stay in a comfortable silence even while getting inside the blonde's apartment, minus the moment Lisa takes to compliment Jennie's outfit with a lovely smile. The brunette reciprocates immediately, her cheeks practically burning as they both enter the blonde's home.
Luca greets Jennie immediately, happy that one of the few people he likes enough not to bite their hands off came to visit.
"Hello, little boy. Aren't you cute?"
"Thanks for complimenting him", Lisa tells her friend, smiling softly at the interaction, "he needs a confidence boost after Jisoo called him fat last time she was here".
Jennie pouts playfully at a pleased Luca, now petting his head.
"He's alright. He's a healthy boy".
"Hey, get comfortable as always, yeah? Do you want anything?"
Jennie shallows thickly. It's coming.
"Some water, please?"
Lisa looks at Jennie half surprised and half amused. She could hear the fear in her voice.
"Sure. Anything else? A snack?", the blonde asks her, eager to make the brunette feel a bit better.
Jennie sits on Lisa's sofa and Luca immediately jumps on her lap, clearly considering that he hasn't been pampered enough.
"No, Lis. Just water. Thanks".
The blonde smiles and nods before going to the kitchen.
Jennie realizes then that there is soft tune coming from Lisa's bedroom. She knows that the blonde likes it when the music is low enough for her to concentrate during painting, and the recently cleaned brushes on top of Lisa's coffee table give Jennie enough clues to figure out that she's working on a new piece.
The familiar scent of Lisa's apartment makes her feel somewhat more relaxed, and she looks at the cat still purring loudly on top of her legs for a moment.
"Wish me luck, Luca", she murmurs.
The feline opens his eyes to stare at Jennie, almost as if thinking for a while, and lets out a single meow that the brunette decides to take as a signal.
She smiles, about to thank Luca for his complicity, but Lisa enters the room then, two glasses of water on her hands.
"You are sure you don't want anything else, Jen?", she asks, sitting on the couch besides her friend, their thighs almost touching.
"I'm fine. Seriously. Thanks".
Lisa leaves both glasses on top of the coffee table and the impact makes Luca stir uncomfortably and jump off of Jennie's lap.
The blonde's body turns towards the brunette then, her attention solely on her figure.
"So?"
"Yes. Alright".
Jennie can't hide her nervousness. She rubs the palm of her hands against the side of her thighs, and keeps licking and biting her lips in a way Lisa hopes is not painful.
"Jen", she tells her, smiling hesitatingly, "you are kind of scaring me".
The brunette sighs as she brings her hands to her face.
"I know, I know. It's just... I don't know where to start".
Lisa did this when she was sixteen, for fuck's sake. You are a grown woman.
The blonde swallows, her heart beating a bit faster now.
"Are you... pregnant?"
"What?", the brunette opens her eyes almost comically, "No, no. Of course not".
"Oh, then. You told me that it wasn't something bad".
Jennie fidgets uncomfortably in her place and Lisa takes her hand by instinct.
"It isn't... it doesn't have to be".
The blonde hums then, letting her thumb caress the back of Jennie's hand, hoping for the brunette to find some sort of comfort then.
She waits. She knows that the sorter girl needs her time, and she definitely knows better than to make her feel more anxious than she already is.
Jennie looks at Lisa right in the eyes, looking for courage, and she finds such an amount of affection swimming in her chocolate orbs that she feels unable to extend it anymore.
"I like you", she says then, and the rest of her thoroughly prepared speech gets stuck in her throat.
Lisa blinks, trying to register her friend's words, but doesn't pull away.
"You mean... I might be a bit..."
"I like you", Jennie begins again, "a lot".
"Okay", the blonde smiles this time, confused but endeared, "but that's still a bit fuzzy, Jen".
"As in I want to date you".
And then Lisa understands.
Jennie watches closely as the blonde's expression changes from fondness to shock, her lips slightly parted.
She waits, absolutely terrified, ready to apologize for basically every little thing she has done wrong in the past, but then Lisa stutters before speaking.
"I... can you expand a bit on that? I'm still... You like me?", she sounds breathless, and her hand squeezes Jennie's.
The brunette stumbles in the stream of words that are eager to come out of her mouth.
"I do. I like you so much and I've been feeling this way for a long time apparently, but I've only realized today, and I'm not even sure I didn't like you this way when we were teenagers, honestly, because I think about it and everything makes sense, like, the way I wanted to be with you all the time and hug you and-"
"Jennie, baby, please breath", Lisa interrupts.
The brunette looks at her, tears already welling up in her eyes.
"I'm sorry".
Lisa looks at her for a moment, her eyes glistening as well.
"I'm sorry, Lisa, I-".
"You like me", the blonde tells her with a smile, "as girlfriends".
It's so cheesy Jennie would smile if she wasn't freaking out.
"Yes".
"Are you sure?"
"Yes".
"But you just figured out".
"Because... I think I was in denial. I mean, who wouldn't like you, you are like... wow, like, perfect".
Jennie wants to punch herself straight in the face. This is definitely not the moment for her lexis to fail so miserably.
But then she hears Lisa giggle in the cutest way ever so maybe not everything is lost.
"Are you... a hundred percent sure?"
"Yes. I'm sure. But I'd understand if you... It's okay if you don't like me back anymore. We can be friends, right?"
Lisa suddenly becomes serious.
"You want to be friends?"
"No!", Jennie exclaims, but then she considers for a moment, "I mean, not ideally I guess, but of course you... this is your decision as well".
She feels so awkward and unable to control herself that she has to make an effort so as not to burst into tears. But suddenly, Lisa holds her right cheek with her hand, staring at her with a loving expression.
"You are so cute. Sorry, I didn't mean to make you nervous, it's just... I'm amazed. I can't believe it".
Jennie stays silent, but places her hand on top of Lisa's.
"I convinced myself this would never happen, and you are here telling me this".
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you before. I was terrified. I mean, you were all I could think about... you have been all I can think about for years, really, but I thought it was only because I felt terribly guilty. And I did. But there was always something else I couldn't put my finger on, and when I did realize I just rushed here to tell you because I couldn't take it anymore. You've always been as honest as you could be with me, Lisa. Now, I'm trying to be honest with myself and honest with everyone I care about. And I care about you deeply, as you can guess".
Lisa doesn't answer. She simply presses her forehead against Jennie's.
"It's okay if you don't want to be with me after all this. I just want you by my side. You make me happy".
The blonde leans back slightly to lift Jennie's chin delicately, making her look into her eyes.
"What makes you think that I wouldn't want to be with you? You told me that I make you happy, and now I'm telling you that you make me happy. We make each other happy. I don't know what is your criteria for a good relationship, but that's about mine".
Jennie stares at Lisa with pure wonder shinning in her cat-like eyes.
"Wait, you... you mean it? You want to be with me?", and she smiles big, unable to stop herself.
Lisa chuckles out of pure glee, pulling Jennie into a tight hug, their heartbeats against each other.
"I do. I want to give us a try", she makes a pause, "but there are some things we need to talk about, probably".
The brunette pulls away, but stays close.
"Maybe... on a date?"
Lisa raises her eyebrows teasingly.
"Sneaky. Didn't expect less from miss Kim".
Her fingers run through the brunette's hair, who's still smiling from ear to ear.
"Can I be a bit daring now, and suggest the date to be tomorrow at five?"
"You can. I accept your suggestion".
Jennie bites her lower lip to contain a girlish squeal, delight rushing through her veins.
They look at each other more seriously now, the atmosphere shifting.
The brunette's eyes flicker to Lisa's lips, and the warm feeling in her heart burns more intensely.
"I want to be more daring", she tells the blonde, her voice coming out in a breathless rush.
"Go for it, then", Lisa answers, her tone deep.
Jennie licks her own lips.
"Can I kiss you?"
Lisa leans forwards to let her mouth gaze against Jennie's, and the brunette feels a shiver that runs through her whole spine.
"Yes", she breathes, and the shortest girl doesn't have to stop herself anymore.
Their lips meet softly, experimental, mint and chocolate and something else Jennie can't put a name on still but already loves overwhelms her senses in the most delightful way.
The brunette feels as her heart hammers steadily against her chest, almost as if chanting in relief.
This is it; this is it; this is it.
When the blonde tilts her head just a bit to find another angle, Jennie puts a hand on top of Lisa's shoulder just to be sure that she's actually there, that she' real, that she's not a dream.
It's everything that she's ever wanted, really, everything that she's never felt, and the brunette doesn't need any more proof to confirm that they are just meant to be.
They keep kissing slowly, trying to extend the moment as long as possible, swimming in euphoria.
Jennie pulls away eventually, feeling giddy, but she pecks Lisa twice immediately after, beaming, feeling free.
"I'm so fucking lucky", she breathes without realizing, and Lisa giggles.
"You like me", she murmurs in amazement.
"I do. A lot".
Jennie stares at her, completely enchanted.
"I like you too. I mean, it's quite evident..."
"But I love to hear it".
"Good", Lisa tells her then, and gets closer and closer until their lips brush lightly against each other, "I like you", she says, and pecks Jennie softly, "I like you", and she kisses her again.
Jennie wonders if it is possible to actually burst in joy.
"You are crying", Lisa tells her, her thumb trying to catch Jennie's tears.
"I'm the happiest woman alive", the brunette answers, no filter, no restrictions, just herself.
"After me, you mean", the blonde teases, and Jennie kisses her cheek.
"Oh, no. We are going to be one of those couples..."
"Jisoo won't let us live".
Jennie pouts lightly, but quickly brightens up again as Lisa pulls her into a cuddle.
"Are you staying for dinner?"
"Yes, but I have to go home after that. I have a date to plan."
"Oh? Who with?"
"A gorgeous girl. I have to work had for that one. She deserves the best".
"Really?" Lisa asks, and leans in to kiss Jennie once again, charmed by the brunette's words.
She tries to pull away some seconds after, but the shortest girl keeps her in place by holding her face between her small hands.
Not like Lisa would be opposed, anyway.
When they make a pause, Jennie smiles, feeling dizzy.
"I've got to tell Jisoo before she blows up my phone".
"You tell her you were doing this?"
Jennie blushes, suddenly shy again.
"Yeah. I needed some support".
Lisa hums, grinning softly, caressing the bridge of Jennie's nose with the pad of her finger.
"I should check mine too. If she told Rosie, she must be bombarding me with texts as well".
"And then we cuddle?"
"In my scenario, we answer their messages cuddling already".
"Oh", Jennie tells her, pressing her head against Lisa's shoulder again, "I like your scenario better".
The blonde leaves a kiss against Jennie's temple.
Outside, the warm light of a golden sun announces an end.
And also, a beginning.