Morgan and I got on either side of the unloved Vampire and we were careful to avoid his ribs. In IR I could see all my intentional damage easily. Morgan was scanning him too.
"This rib here is not broken all the way." Morgan criticized, pointing.
"Sorry. He fell over too fast." I said. "I was hoping he was made of sterner stuff."
"Nah. It was obvious to anyone watching he was a complete pushover." Morgan said.
"Dick jokes. Pushover? You are on a roll tonight." I complimented.
"She wants to get rolled tonight." Jessica said. "And she is going to be. I love a 'good ribbing'."
Everyone is a comedian.
Jessica pulled a chair up next to the counter that had all the medical supplies.
Alexander said nothing at all the jokes being told at his expense. Just moaned and winced.
Morgan examined her side of Alexander with a tilted head. "I have to say, Adrian, I don't think there is a mob enforcer that could have done this better. Hardly any broken skin on this side, but lots of damage going in a few inches. No internal organ involvement at all. Excellent blow calibration. Just the one missed rib opportunity, but I guess if he lets me beat him up later, I can take care of that one. Give him a matched set. Please let me beat you up later? I am asking nicely. DO something really stupid again!"
Alexander sighed. Did not look at her.
Jessica pulled open swollen eyes and studied pupils. Checked his ears. Rotated his head about. Looked at his nose and his lips. Said things like "Hmm." And "Interesting". She lifted his arms and felt his ribs on both sides. Studied the bruising patterns.
"Morgan, would you get me the salad tongs?" Jessica requested.
Morgan retrieved them from the kitchen and slapped them into her hand as if they are a medical instrument, complete with Morgan calling out : "Salad Tongs!"
"You are really goofy today." I told her.
"I am having a good day. Alexander got his penis pulped. I am getting laid. Alexander is going to do something stupid and let me beat on him." Morgan explained.
"He did not agree to that." I pointed out.
"He will." Morgan said. "Mark my words. I know his kind."
As Alexander watched, Jessica used the salad tongs and lifted his penis out of the way to look for ball and perineum damage. Jessica continued to move his genitals around with the food implement and flipped him up, left, and right. "I don't see any obvious serious damage to this ugly-ass thing. A little bruising is all. Nothing like the ribs or the face. Looks like this pecker shall live to degrade women another day. Unfortunately." Jessica diagnosed. Jessica looked over at me. "Don't feel too badly, my love. If you had damaged it too much, he would have grown a fresh one. New balls and all. Vampire healing can be a curse sometimes. At least you didn't have to touch the goddamn slimy thing like some people I know."
Jessica shuddered.
Jessica stood fully upright, handed the tongs back to Morgan the same way Morgan handed them to her. Morgan promptly plopped them down on paper towels. "Yuch. Going to have to sterilize these. And my hands. Simi: Where is the bleach?"
"Show you in a moment. Watching this now." Simi said as if this is riveting reality TV.
Jessica said "I am amazed at this work, Adrian. Just perfect. Except for his genitals. Why did you not pound that thing a few times more? Calibrate it just to the edge like you did the ribs? You literally kicked William's balls off, and that asshole never touched me like this thing did. If that misogynistic flesh stick was a little more damaged, I would have an excuse to cut saw off with a steak knife."
I shrugged. "He kept falling over." I said in my defense.
Jessica was teasing me, but I replied to it as if she was serious. "Besides. I did not think of that and your pleasure at sawing it off. I was leaving something left largely undamaged for when Morgan turns him into creamed corn. She already said she wanted to damage him there. I did not want to spoil her thrashing. I didn't think about what you might want. Very inconsiderate of me."
"Well, fine. I'll wait for this idiot to piss off Morgan then, and then I can cut it off. Assuming she does not kick it off. Now yours, on the other hand? I am going to love the hell out of it and you later."
"One of these dicks is not like the other. One of these things just doesn't belong." Morgan sang the Sesame Street ditty.
"Are you drunk?" I asked Morgan.
"Just happy." Morgan said.
Alexander, off his rage and humiliated said "I get it. Big dick is not the same thing as a good lover. Point made."
Morgan said with rather more volume than required, but to ensure the entire hall was in on it: "Your penis is not THAT big, Alexander. I have had bigger for sure. It is not the size of the ship, it is the motion of the ocean."
"Yes, I think you mentioned that as well." Alexander said. He sounded kind of down.
"Good one, Morgan." Jessica complimented.
"Doesn't matter if its Vampire powered either." Simi told Tobey. Loudly.
"Morgan: How about a nice wad of paper towels?" Jessica asked.
"Adrian, hold his head. Tilted it back a bit. There. Perfect. Morgan, hold that under his nose. Close in, Good." Jessica switched into serious Doctor mode.
Jessica set his nose.
Alexander said very sincerely: "Gahh!"
"I went to a lot of work to break it like that." I complained.
Jessica examined the nose closely from a few angles. "You did a lovely job of it too. Very nice, but we can't leave broken boy Vampires lying around the town for other people to deal with, now can we, my darling? Simi has plans for Tobey, for example. You want our friends to enjoy their evening, right?"
I sighed theatrically. "I guess so."
"Don't sound so sad. As soon as we finish putting this Cabeza del Pene back together, we are taking you to bed and checking you for wounds too. Head to toe. Over and over. I hope you are not sleepy."
"What is Cabeza del Pene" Tobey asked Simi.
"Literally Spanish for 'Penis Head', but probably 'Dick Head'" Simi translated.
"Either way." Jessica said.
"Oh." Tobey said.
"You have made your point, Jessica. He won. Winner gets you. Not just you. Both of you." Alexander sighed. "He gets laid by two: I get laid by none."
"The fact that you used the word 'get' means you do not understand it yet at all." I commented. "You are right Morgan. he is going to give you another run at him."
"Told you, my love." Morgan then leaned in and said in one of Alexander's ears "What he just said, however: yes. Adrian totally and enthusiastically gets to have ALL of me."
"Oh yes." Jessica chimed. "I will not be owned. I will not be chattel. I am going to give myself to him, however, freely and without reservation. You should try growing up and see what they gets you. OK. Stand up. Going to wrap these ancient ribs."
Alexander stood up, and Jessica wound him up like a mummy. "There. Drink a lot of milk and take a lot of minerals, you dumb fuckwit. Also: When you are jerking off tonight, scream really loudly about how bad your fuckpole hurts. I want to hear it out in the RV."
Jessica looked at one of Alexander's eyes. "You want me to stitch this. My sweet, sweet lover broke the skin here, and it's a bit longer than a bandage will work for. You know what? Fuck that. Sit, dumbfuck. Why am I asking you a medical question? You have a six-century old body you STILL don't know how to use right."
Morgan prepped a needle and thread. "Suture!" She announced, again like this is a medical TV show.
Morgan is having too much fun with this. Love it.
"Are you going to wear a nurse's outfit later?" I asked, just to put that in Alexander's kinky head.
"I am not wearing ANYTHING later." Morgan said.
"Me either" Jessica agreed. Not a damn thing.
"Gaia in the flesh." Angel said conversationally, I presume to Vera. "Parvati will be cavorting nude tonight. Fertility goddess incarnate."
"Boobs and all." Vera said. Alexander's weakness.
Alexander winced. OK. The image in his head. Good. Angel, ably assisted by her Fiancé, knew how to drive that home.
"Stop wrinkling your face, or I'll have too much skin gathered here." Jessica warned him.
"It fucking hurts." Alexander told her.
"Whose fault is that? You don't want your face busted up, quit tossing it against my husband's fists." Jessica scolded to no answer.
As she worked, Jessica asked, "Have I mentioned my husband loves me?"
"He loves me too." Angel said.
"He is gonna love my sweet ass again someday too." Vera piled on. "And when he does, it's gonna be serious succubus in that bed."
Alexander winced. The last thing he needed was a mental image of not only Jessica cavorting naked but Angel and Vera. Women are really cruel sometimes.
Jessica smiled as she snipped and knotted a few times, getting fresh suture from Morgan. She enjoyed anything that was at Alexander's expense. "I have seen her naked. Many times. She does kinda look like a Succubus. Especially when she is naked and wet in my jacuzzi with me. OK. There. I'll take those out in a few days, assuming you heal at Vampire normal speed." She looked over the rest of his face. Studied the lower lip. "Not going to stitch this. Just going to have to hurt for a while.
Morgan held up a bottle and a syringe. "Did you want a local anesthetic for the stitches?"
"Did you just now find that? There is an order to these things, you know. Too late." Jessica winked.
"Oh. This goes in first. I see." Morgan said. "My bad."
"Ok, Alexander. Done." Jessica nodded to me. "My love, as discussed, left your boy parts intact for later removal if you piss off Morgan. Other than a painful jerkoff, which is just for me so I can enjoy your pain, I would suggest you not take this pitiful sister pointer for a spin with some poor victim soon. Or any farm animals. No cows or sheep. Nothing. Just scream for me and then rest. Tomorrow I am going sledge the hell out of your house and fucking erase that goddamn bedroom. You might as well enjoy your last night in it."
"Whatever." Alexander got up, swayed, and then headed for the door.
Simi watched him leave. She asked, "Should someone help him get to his house?"
"If he passes out on the way, he can sleep outside. Never hurt anyone." Morgan replied. "As long as he is not in the way tomorrow when the Crew gets here."
"Remind me to never piss off any of you." Simi said, then stood, pulling Tobey up "Lover, let's go to your house."
Angel stood and pulled Vera up and said "Wife-to-be. Let's go home with Kevin."
Vera stood, and signaled Kevin over. He was watching all the proceedings from a safe distance.
"Kevin?" She asked when he was close "Do you have a date tonight?"
"No. I was hoping you and I could get together again but then all this and you are engaged and .." Keven was a bit wound up.
"Slow down, lover boy. Getting a bit word salad-y on me there. Good: Glad no one is on your calendar. Angel and I would both like to have sex with you tonight. Is that OK? Are you up for a Siren / Astral two-fer?" Vera asked politely.
"Oh, heck yes!" Kevin enthused, and they got on either side of him and led him to the door, Angel calling back "Good night mom! Talk to you in the morning. Probably late in the morning. Vera says Kevin is a morning person, in an excellent way."
"Good night dear. Have a nice evening." Tala watched her go, wistfully. "Damn it! I wanted some Kevin tonight." She said loudly.
Tala surveyed the room. A male hand went up. A deal was struck. Ninovan at its finest.
We headed back to the RV and passed a slowly limping Alexander. We said nothing as we passed, nor did we.
"You know, nothing says you have to be dressed in clothes out in the street around here. Not as if Ninovan has cops. Or even rules about naked bodies." I commented. Jessica handed me her top and then her bra. "Better?"
"Much." I said.
I looked over at Morgan, and she said "Ok. Sure. I was not really wanting to be in Alexander-sight, but whatever. You want to show us off. I understand. Is it weird that I like that you want to show me off?"
Morgan put her top and bra in the same hand with Jessica's garments.
"You are right. Alexander does not deserve the sight of either of you." I agreed, and we continued to the RV and went inside. All Alexander saw was their bare backs. He did not even deserve that, other than it will probably inspire his requested self-love session.
Jessica thought the same thing. Door open, and covering her frontal area when viewed from the side where Alexander is limping along so that all he could see is her bare back and shoulders as she leaned back slightly, she said. "While these two are sucking on my boobs with actual love, think of me and scream, Alexander. Loud."
What has gotten into all of us today?