~Lauren's P.O.V~
It was late at night and I couldn't fall asleep. I can't stop thinking about Camila and it's driving me crazy. She just never escapes my mind. I wanna tell someone my feelings but I know that no one will understand. I've gotten more weird lately, I don't really know how to describe it. I'm not sure if I'm depressed. I mean, I'm not sad. But I'm not exactly happy either. I can laugh and joke and smile during the day, but sometimes when I'm alone at night I forget how to feel. But then she comes along, and it's like for that split second she makes everything disappear. All my feelings all my thoughts, everything. It just vanishes. And then after that amazing second it comes back to me that she doesn't know anything. She doesn't know how I feel, what I think, how she makes me feel like I the only person in the world. She doesn't know that I love her. I read something online that says you should write about your feelings. Get them all out on paper so that at least your doing something other than trapping all those dangerous thoughts in your mind. I take out a pen and paper and write down everything that pops in my head when I think about Camila.
"To my pink princess,
Do you really want to know who my crush is? The truth? I like you. A lot. You make me happy. You make me laugh. You're smart. You're different. You're a little crazy, and awkward, and your smile alone can make my day. You're honestly all anyone could ever ask for. The way you make me feel is pretty indescribable. You make me smile even when I'm at my lowest. You and your stupid jokes that only I laugh at and to be honest most of the time I find them hilarious. Don't ask why because I have no clue. Lastly Camila, you're my best friend and I would be nothing without you. I never want to lose you so I'm pushing my feelings aside to protect yours. You'll always mean everything to me and I'd do anything in the world for you the second you asked. I love Camzzi. ~ Your Lolo."
By the end of the letter tears were free falling down my pale skin. It wasn't an all out bawl, it was more of a silent cry because silent was the way I felt. I put down the pen and paper and laid my head onto the cool fluffy pillow. Yes, writing down my feelings helped make me relax and set my mind at ease for the moment but thoughts were still racing in my head. Was this how I was going to end my nights now?
-
I felt my body being shaken and lifted my eyelids to see the bright sun flowing in through my bunk window. I guess we're driving over a bumpy road or something. I lifted my legs over and hopped out of my bunk. I looked around and found that the other girls where no where to be found. That's odd? Ehh they're probably all in the living room. Ah and Lolo is correct. I see the other 4 girls resting one the couch. When they finally notice my existence in the room they all freeze. All expect for Camila. She looks calm and steady while Dinah and the rest just look plain and pale. "Is there something on my face or....?" "What? Sorry um we just got scared to....we didn't know you were standing there is all." What the hell is going on? There so dumb when they lie like at least try to hide that fact that you're bullshitting me. "Oh, well here I am. Good morning I guess." I walked over to the open seat and plopped into the cold leather chair. They all had their heads down expect Camila who was being oblivious to the situation obviously distracted by 'Lilo and Stitch' . That girl I swear. Turn on cartoons and she's gone. "Hey Laur? Can you come talk to me for a sec?" Dinah says in an almost inaudible sound. "Kk" was all I could make out as I grew nervous as to what this topic of the conversation might hold.