Don't forget to show some love, you beautiful people ♡
"Charlie," Oliver exhaled, his throat suddenly feeling dry.
"Yeah?" He laughed awkwardly. His tone was happy, excited, unknowing.
Oliver's head was spinning. His throat felt blocked by some spiky obstruction. Blood rushed up to his head and he suddenly felt very warm. He sat back in his chair, in shock by his own stupidity. How could he have let this happen?
"Oliver? You there?"
No. No. No. He couldn't do it. He couldn't tell Charlie he was back together with Nora. It would ruin everything between them.
How could he just forget about Charlie? It was like his mind went blank as soon as he saw Nora standing there in their apartment. Everything before that was erased.
This was the moment he had to choose between the two of them. Foolishly, he hadn't seen it coming. He didn't really think he could date Charlie while simultaneously striving for Nora, did he? Now he had to choose. He had to pick Nora, right? After nearly six years together and so much love between them, it was inevitable really. The choice was made for him before he even got to think about it.
He loved Nora. He really did. Over the years his love for her never diminished. It may have been blurred by certain obstacles and dimmed by certain pills and powders but it was always still there in magnitude. She made him happy.
But Charlie opened his eyes to a whole other realm. With him, Oliver felt a different type of happy. It was jittery and butterfly-laced. It was relaxed yet excited, comfortable yet ambitious. Charlie made him feel emotions he had never felt before. And he had been excited to see what came next.
"Uh, yeah. I- I'm here."
"Okay, then why are you being weird? What's wrong?"
Oliver let out a shaky breath of dread. He couldn't let this drag on any longer, even though that felt like the best option then. Being unfaithful to either of them wasn't something he could ever see himself do.
"I'm... shit, I-I don't know how to say this."
"Say what?"
"Charlie... I'm so sorry."
Oh God. It was happening. It was really happening. He felt sick.
"What? Why?"
Oliver closed his eyes to mentally prepare himself for what he was about to say. "Nora came home yesterday..."
"Oh."
"Charlie, I-"
"Are you guys back together?"
Oliver exhaled. "Yes," He choked.
Charlie was agonisingly quiet and Oliver could only imagine what was going through his head. He probably hated him.
Oliver didn't even know what he wanted anymore. He loved Nora but didn't want to lose Charlie either. But would Charlie even want to stay friends after everything that happened between them. They had crossed the point of no return. They couldn't go back to being friends, could they? Oliver's heart quickened for what was to come next.
Oliver couldn't see himself merely being friends with him. They were much more than that. But, with Nora back in the picture, nothing could happen.
"I still want to be friends with you," He lied. He knew he didn't want to be 'just friends' but he didn't really have any other choice. "These past few months have been amazing and the thought of losing you, after all we've been through...."
"Choose me," Charlie whispered after a long silence.
"What?"
"Oliver," Charlie said, his voice breaking. "Choose me. I don't usually ask for anything but there's something between us. I like you-"
"Please, don-"
Feelings he really didn't want to feel were beginning to bubble up. No, no, no...
"-And I know you like me too. You're always on my mind. I'm not the type to do relationships at all but everything felt different with you."
"Charlie..."
He wanted him to stop talking. He didn't like how everything Charlie said made his heart hurt more and more.
"Don't do it, Ol."
The way Charlie's voice kept breaking and wavering made Oliver want to burst. He rubbed at his teary eyes and shook his head, not knowing what to say. He wished he could take it back. He wished Charlie was in front of him so that he could hug him and kiss him for the last time.
Oliver was quiet before eventually coming with a lame and pathetic "I'm sorry."
He wanted to say yes. He wanted to choose Charlie. Maybe he hadn't said it out loud yet but Oliver really liked Charlie. There was no other explanation for why his heart fluttered around him or why he always wanted to be with him. But Oliver wasn't ready to let go of Nora yet. He once told Nora that they were meant to be together. And that was the truth. He saw it like it was something written in the book of their lives. It was their ultimate destiny. In a world of chaos and madness, Oliver and Nora were the only thing that made sense. They had to be together.
"It's always been Nora... She's the love of my life. And... I need to be with her."
"Are you going to tell her about us?" Charlie asked, his voice suddenly cold and void of emotion.
"I... I don't know."
"Okay. Goodbye, Oliver."
"Don't be like that..." He groaned. Oliver wasn't sure how he wanted Charlie to react but this definitely wasn't it.
"What do you want me to say, Ol? That I'm happy just being friends with you? That I'm happy for you and Nora? Well, I'm not. Nora's amazing and I have nothing against her but you and I both know that whatever you two had was over long ago."
Over? No, no, Oliver and Nora were forever.
"You don't know anything," Oliver snapped back.
"Goodbye."
"Charlie-"
Before he could slip in another word, the line went dead. It was probably for the best. There was nothing he could say that would make either of them feel any better.
It was irresponsible of him to let things go so far when he still felt devoted to Nora. If he was so in love with Nora then why did he allow himself to start to fall for Charlie.
He just couldn't believe it was over. An emptiness overcame him as he realised that was the end of them. Charlie hated him. He had to after everything Oliver had put him through. There wasn't even any need to tell people it happened because it was over. All over. Banished to oblivion, never to be heard of again.
♢ ♢ ♢
Oliver trudged into his apartment. All he wanted to do was have a long shower and sleep. His tears kept threatening to spill over his waterline all day and it took everything in him to stop himself from crying.
He found Nora sitting alone at the dining table with a glass of red wine in her hand. She was waiting for him. It was a sight he had gotten used to over the years. It usually meant she was waiting to argue about something. Most likely his drug use. But, before she could start, Oliver walked up to her and sank down to his knees in front of her, much to her surprise.
"W-what are you doing?"
"I'm so sorry, Nor."
"I don't-"
"I love you. Always have, always will. And nothing can change that. We're forever. I need you to know that."
Nora hugged him,burying her head in his shoulder. "Of course I know that." She inched off of him and looked in concern at his face. "Oli... you're crying."
He raised his hand to wipe his wet cheeks. He hadn't even realised he was crying. "I'm so, so sorry," He repeated.
"It's okay, Oli..."
"I wish I was a better person. I wish I thought this through. I wish... I wish I didn't have to hurt you...."
"It's okay, babe. It's okay."
She squeezed him tightly and rubbed his back, not realising he wasn't just apologising for that morning. He didn't feel guilty about the cocaine. He felt guilty for choosing her.
"I'm sorry, Nor. I'm so sorry."
♢ ♢ ♢
That shit hurted :'(
Next chapter coming soon! I can already hear the wedding bells ;)
Love,
-hexed
Ps- Go hug your loved ones. We're spreading love today.