"𝐂𝐀𝐍 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐖𝐀𝐒𝐇 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐓𝐎𝐎?" kelsey heard a voice say behind her, causing her to turn around. there stood a shirtless jackson with his now removed shirt in his hands.
"i'm not washing anything avery, i'm looking for my shirt" she said through a slight chuckle. meredith told kelsey her and lexie had gotten drunk last night and she had gotten ketchup on her shirt so she washed it for her to be ready in the morning.
"you don't need one" he said lowly in her ear, making her turn around and come face-to-face with him. he came one small step closer to her and brought his face down so now his face was hovering over hers. jackson looked down at her lips then back up at her eyes in one swift motion before slowing leaning in.
"oh! i'm sorry" they heard a voice say behind, along with the sound of a loud thud which made them jump back from each other.
"i just came to—" april started
"i'm just gonna borrow one of—okay" kelsey said, walking out of the basement and back upstairs.
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"𝐆𝐎𝐎𝐃 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐊 𝐓𝐎𝐃𝐀𝐘 𝐋𝐈𝐕𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐍" richard told kelsey as they were scrubbing out of their first
surgery of the day.
"thank you chief" kelsey said with a smile before looking back down at her arms in the big scrub sink. webber invited her to scrub in on a cholecystectomy early this morning and they just successfully finished and closed.
"you're still interested in pediatrics, obstetrics, and neonatal?"
"yes sir i am"
"well that's good. i think you'd do good in general though, or even trauma or ortho. you're one of the few residents i've ever had get recommendation phone calls. from two excellent surgeons at that"
"i really like trauma and ortho but i love the three specialties i'm heading towards"
"well it's good that you know what you want. offer's still up if you want it though"
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"𝐊𝐄𝐏𝐍𝐄𝐑 𝐖𝐀𝐈𝐓 𝐔𝐏!"
"oh. hey....kelsey" april greeted with an awkward smile.
"i'm sorry. about what you seen this morning—"
"it's fine, it's fine. it's none of my business"
"you haven't....told any one. have you?"
"oh, no. no i won't....i won't say anything"
"good. thank you" she said, sending her a thankful smile before walking towards the general surgery ward.
"you busy?" jackson asked as he walked behind her.
"i'm mad at you" kelsey said, not looking over at him but not holding back her smile.
"why?" he asked amusingly, moving closer to her.
"because. april caught us this morning—she seen—i'm mad at you"
"us?"
"no. no us—shut up!" she said before storming away, hearing him laugh behind her.
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"𝐁𝐏 𝐋𝐎𝐎𝐊𝐒 𝐆𝐎𝐎𝐃. 𝐘𝐎𝐔'𝐑𝐄 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐘 𝐓𝐎 𝐆𝐎"
"we need to start prepping you too" kelsey said to the mom, removing her stethoscope from her son's back.
"i know but, can't it wait just another minute? i'm not ready to leave him he is my—"
"d-don't say it, mom!"
"my baby!" kelsey smiled.
"hey guys. good news. guess who i found looking for you?" lexie beamed as she walked into the room.
"dad?"
"what the hell?"
"cynthia, look, i just wanted to check on chris"
"how did you know where we were?" kelsey looked back at dr. webber who held his hand up.
"he posted it online. "today's kidney day". i had no idea he was even getting a new kidney"
"you need to leave, ken...right now"
"cynthia i swear to god—"
"alright, now that's enough" dr. webber said, walking in front of the man.
"i'm so sorry sir why don't you—" kelsey calmly spoke as she placed a hand on his shoulder, only for him to yank it back, causing her to flinch.
"hey!" richard exclaimed
"chris is my son too now i let you do a lot of stuff without me—" kelsey subconsciously zoned out the rest of the conversation, coming back to it once she heard richard.
"okay, let's go, now" kelsey watched as the man resisted being escorted from the room by alex and richard while lexie tried to console the mom.
"hey, why don't we sit down—"
"why'd you bring him here?"
"i'm sor—" lexie tried to explain as she held the chart closer to her chest.
"why would you do that?!"
"ma'am she didn't know okay why don't we sit down?" kelsey looked up and seen the look on lexie's face, mouthing 'go' and nodding her head toward the door. she shook her head and took a deep breath before placing the chart down.
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"𝐇𝐄'𝐒 𝐃𝐎𝐖𝐍𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐒 𝐈𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐖𝐀𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐀𝐑𝐄𝐀. 𝐇𝐄'𝐒 𝐀𝐒𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐔𝐏𝐃𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐒"
"you can't make him leave?"
"i'm sorry. he never mentioned that you were divorced or—"
"they're not" chris interrupted, causing everyone to look over at him. "they should be, but they're not"
"i left with chris almost a year ago"
"and you should have done is sooner. he hit her"
"chris!"
"what?" kelsey said, barely above a whisper.
"what? it's why we left" kelsey listened to the mom explain the story until lexie consoled her and told her to think about why she's here today. turning around, she walked out of the room and down to the main lobby where just as she thought, the father was still waiting downstairs. she handed the nurse the chart in her hand and watched the man slowly pace back and forth in the middle of the waiting room.
"hey, thank you" owen said to the nurse, handing her his chart.
"hey, dr. hunt"
"mm-hmm?"
"make that man leave" she said, not taking her eyes off of him. he turned around to see who she was looking at before turning back to her.
"did something happen?" she kept her eyes trained on the pacing man.
"listen, do you need me to call security, or—"
"i just—i need him to go away, please" owen looked back at him before turning to her again and answering 'okay'. she watched intensely as the man argued with owen before walking away as it was almost time for cynthia's surgery.
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"𝐒𝐎 𝐋𝐈𝐕𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐍" kelsey looked over at dr. bailey while still scrubbing her arms.
"chief webber explained to me how you had two phone calls of recommendation from an excellent trauma surgeon and a legendary ortho surgeon" kelsey sighed, already getting an idea of where this was going.
"that i did"
"he tells me they mentioned you show excellent leadership under pressure and show great improvisation when needed which is perfect for trauma and ortho"
"yeah. he told me i'd be good going into general or trauma or ortho but i'm gonna stick with my set three specialties"
"that's good. robbins tells me you're a natural"
"really?"
"yep" she responded with a head nod, grabbing a towel and drying her hands before walking into the OR.
"a natural, eh?" lexie said, pumping her shoulder towards her while drying her hands.
"stop" she said in a small laugh before dropping the scrub brush and rinsing her arms under the faucet.
"you okay?" lexie asked after miranda was in the OR and out of earshot.
"what do you mean?"
"the thing with the husband, you seemed pretty upset about it. are you—"
"i'm fine" she sighed, stepping away from the sink and walking into the OR room.
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"the vessel's prepped for anastomosis"
"pocket for implantation is ready"
"go time" lexie said, nodding when she looking up at kelsey who returned her nod. just as they were about to attach the kidney, the door burst open.
"stop! did you attach it?"
"geez" miranda sighed.
"webber, what the hell?"
"did you attach the kidney yet?"
"no no i'm holding it, i'm holding it"
"put it back on ice. the mom's remaining kidney thrombosed. it's dead. we now have only one good kidney between them" the three looked down at the open body cavity in front of them before watching lexie put the kidney back in the bowl of ice.
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"call UNOS. tell them you need chris moved to the top of the list now" miranda instructed.
"we already told them he lost his last dialysis port" kelsey spoke as she untied the mask from her neck.
"tell them he's on the table now with two residents pouring saline down his open abdomen" kelsey rushed down to the main lobby where she quickly asked the nurse for the phone and made her call.
"did i say he's 16? i know it doesn't change anything, but he's 16 and he is open on a table"
"anything?" kelsey asked another resident who was calling, moving the microphone piece away from her mouth.
"nothing. i'll try seattle pres again"
"this kid doesn't have another option we just lost his donor kidney we need another one right now"
"what do you mean?" kelsey turned around to see ken glaring at her.
"you talking about my son?"
"hold on" she spoke into the phone before covering the microphone.
"you're talking about chris"
"you were told to leave"
"what happened? what happened to cynthia? what is it?"
"i can't discuss their conditions with you" she said as she turned around.
"don't you tell me that" he responded, making her turn back around.
"that is my son up there, and you have to tell me what is going on. answer me" he voiced deeply as he moved closer to her face.
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"𝐃𝐑. 𝐖𝐄𝐁𝐁𝐄𝐑, 𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐏 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐌𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐃𝐈𝐀𝐋𝐘𝐒𝐈𝐒. 𝐈 𝐖𝐈𝐋𝐋 𝐂𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐔𝐍𝐎𝐒 𝐌𝐘𝐒𝐄𝐋𝐅. 𝐊𝐀𝐑𝐄𝐕, 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐀𝐍𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐌𝐎𝐒𝐈𝐒 𝐎𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐁𝐎𝐘"
"wait! stop. we might have another option, but..."
"but?" kelsey looked between the three attendings, owen recently joining after hearing what was happening, not wanting to say it.
"livingston what is it?" webber asked
"the husband" she said after another short pause. "the son of a bitch wants to give his kidney, but we can't do that right?" she explained, looking up at richard who looked over at miranda and owen.
"right?" kelsey asked again, now looking at miranda and owen. after getting no response, she softly scoffed and looked down at her shoes.
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"we can't do this we can't put his kidney inside her son" kelsey said, walking away from the window and over to the desk where the three attendings stood.
"if his tests show he's a match, we're absolutely doing it" miranda responded
"but it's wrong. his wife would never agree to do this. she would never accept this"
"to save herself and son? she wouldn't say no out of spite"
"she might like any other option, though" owen added.
"yeah, well, i don't see any other option. he's right here"
"and our obligation is to our patients"
"but what about her? no one should get to make this decision for her we can't ! we can't do this "
"livingston, we have no other choice"
"don't say that. you don't get how she will feel to wake up and find out that he controlled this, that he made a decision while she was asleep. he decided to get into her life she had no say, no control, no choice, nothing he can't do that. he can't. we have to try something new. we have to find—"
"there's no time. i'm sorry. if his tests come back and he's a match, we're doing this" richard calmly answered.
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"𝐋𝐈𝐕𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐍?"
"you were suppose to get him to leave" she simply responded, looking back at the ground after seeing it was owen.
"i though he did. but now i'm glad he didn't. his son's gonna die unless he gets a kidney. i'm not excusing what he did, i'm not but maybe—maybe this is his way of coming out of it, if being a better person. maybe he's sorry. maybe he's changed" she looked over at him and sighed before looking to see who was approaching them. lexie walked up to the gurney they were seated on and slightly nodded.
"the dad's a match"
"you don't need to be involved. you can sit this one out" she softly spoke.
"no. i'm not gonna sit it out" she said, hopping down off of the gurney and making her way to the OR.
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lexie slowly scrubbed her arm as she watched kelsey aggressively run the scrub brush up and down her forearm.
"you just gotta let it go, okay, kels?"
"i know" she said after drying her arms with a towel, walking into the OR.
"don't—kelsey!" lexie called after her.
"wait. hold on" kelsey told the anesthesiologist as she walked up to the bed. she leaned down to make sure she was face level to him.
"you're not the hero here. you don't get to take this as a win. this is the least that you can do, the very least"
"i'm doing the right thing"
"i don't think so. i think you want an excuse to worm your way back into their lives" he looked over at her, letting shake breaths out of his nose.
"i'm not. i swear. i can't take back the stuff that i've done. but i can do this. i just want to do something good"
"if you really want to do good, never tell them about this. you do it anonymously and walk away they never have to know it was your kidney, and they never have to see you again" she stated, leaning up and watching as the anesthesiologist covered his mouth with the gas mask.
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"𝐃𝐑. 𝐋𝐈𝐕𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐍, 𝐀 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃?" miranda asked as she walked up to the doctor in the NICU.
"dr. bailey i'm so sorry for today i-i over stepped and acted very unprofessionally and i promise it'll never happen again"
"that's not what i came to talk to you about"
"it's not?"
"no. dr. webber asked me to come talk to you again about your specialties"
"again, i'm sorry dr. bailey but if it's about me switching the answer is still no. i have to stay in peds and o.b. and neonatal i just—i have to" she responded as she took her stethoscope out of her ears and roped it around her neck.
"i get it. webber just wants to see how you work in trauma and ortho but he knows you have a system with robbins and he just wants to make sure he didn't overstep. he wanted to come apologize himself but he's still in surgery so he wanted me to come catch you before you left"
"oh..."
"if i may ask, why were you pushing so hard for that kid not to get his father's kidney?" she bit her lip and looked down at the 3 day old newborn in front of her and softly shook her head.
⚠️[TW: domestic abuse/violence]⚠️
"i lost my mom when i was five to domestic abuse. she was pregnant, but, she never told....him. she told me we would leave before she started showing. we were in miami at the time and she told me we'd go to minnesota. i didn't know anything about minnesota at the time except for the fact that it's cold and i hate the cold but i was gonna be with my mom so. i didn't care. but...he found out. and he...stabbed her. in the stomach. i called 911 on this old landline she hid in my closet and i couldn't go out to help her because anytime i heard her yelling in pain i had to just act like i was sleeping. "that's the only way mommy can protect you" is what she would tell me. he left after he did it like the bastard he is and i held her head in my lap while she" she inhaled and slowly let it out, finally letting a few tears fall. "i seen the baby kicking. harder, faster then it's ever kicked before. it was distressed. and there was nothing i could do to help either of them. before she....y'know. she told me to go the moon for her, and to never stop. not at the moon. the milky way. to keep going and that she knows i'll make her proud. those were the last words my mom ever said to me" she finished as a sob, covering her mouth and looking down at the sleeping newborn. miranda wrapped her arms around her back and brought her into a hug.
⚠️[TW OVER]⚠️
"your mother. is SO proud of you kelsey. so proud of you. you make her proud everyday. i know you do" she sniffled and pulled away, taking off her gloves and wiping her face.
"i'm sorry. god i'm so—i'm sorry. i've never told that story to anyone. can you?...."
"my lips are sealed"
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𝐢 𝐡𝐨𝐩𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐞𝐧𝐣𝐨𝐲𝐞𝐝 𝐞𝐩𝐢𝐬𝐨𝐝𝐞 𝐟𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐬𝐚𝐮𝐝𝐚𝐝𝐞|𝐣.𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲!
𝐢'𝐦 𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐠𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐮𝐩𝐝𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐲 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐝𝐚𝐲'𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐝𝐚𝐲'𝐬 ! 💕
𝐝𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐯𝐨𝐭𝐞, 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭, + 𝐚𝐝𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐥𝐢𝐛𝐫𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 !
𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 𝟐𝟕𝟕𝟐