"Miyashi's grounds again? Wala na ba silang ibang maisip na ipagawang misyon sa atin kung hindi iyon?" Louie said in a bored tone.
I shook my head as I clenched my fist. Bumuntong hininga ako at tinignan ang papel na nasa harapan. Nandito ang mga detalyeng magagamit namin para sa misyon.
"The task is to only spy and discover their next plans," I informed them.
Sapphire nodded at me. "How about having a small talk with some of their people?"
Tinapunan ko siya ng tingin. She smiled devilishly at me. Alam ko na kaagad kung ano ang iniisip at pinaplano niya. I smirked at her, not taking her words seriously. "Ilang beses mo na nga ulit sinubukan ang planong iyan?"
The smile on her face faded. She immediately glared at me. Ang bilis talagang magpalit ng mood nitong babaeng ito. Girls and their weird attitude. Napailing na lamang ako at muling itinuon ang pansin sa papel sa harapan.
"Naalala ko na!"
I threw my glance at Louie. "You remembered what?"
He chuckled before looking at Sapphire teasingly. "Twenty three."
Kumunot ang noo ko. Anong twenty three ang sinasabi ng gagong ito?
"Oh, shut up," Sapphire coldly said to him.
Louie wasn't even moved by Sapphire's stern voice. Mas lalo lamang lumawak ang mapanuyang ngisi nito.
Napailing ako. Mukhang alam ko na.
"Twenty three times niya nang sinubukan. At kahit isa roon, walang pumansin sa kaniya," he teased. "Nakakahiya kang kagrupo, Sapphire."
I pursed my lips to hide a smirk. This jerk, he really knows how to make someone completely annoyed. He mastered that.
Umayos ako ng upo at pinanood ang dalawang mag-asaran. Well, twenty three times, huh?
Gusto kasi ni Sapphire na makipag-usap sa ilang mga tauhan ng Miyashi. Ito ay para hikayatin silang sumanib sa amin, at makipagtulungan upang pabagsakin sila. But everytime she tries to do that, lagi rin siyang nabibigo. Heck, the people of Miyashi are just so loyal.
"Galing mong mang-asar 'no? Sana sa pakikipaglaban din," Sapphire fired back.
"Lagi ka ngang talo sa akin."
"Dream on."
"Ang sabihin mo, hindi mo lang talaga matanggap na palagi kang tinatanggihan ng mga iyon. Meh, where's the charm that you always brag? Expired na? Naubusan ng stock?" Humalakhak si Louie.
I almost choke because of that. Hindi ko na rin mapigilan ang pagtawa ko dahil doon. Louie strode towards me just so we can fist bump. Pabiro ko iyong nilakasan. He groaned playfully as he raised his middle finger on my face.
This fucking asshole is really at it.
"Ewan ko sa inyo!" pagalit na sinabi ni Sapphire. "Sana talaga makahanap na kayo ng katapat ninyo para hindi ako ang lagi ninyong pinagdidiskitahan!"
I smirked at that.
Makahanap ng katapat. Is that really possible?
"That day will never happen, Saph," I said to her.
Kung alam mo lang.
"Oh, it will!" utas niya. "I fucking curse you two for years of bad luck," she murmured.
"Bad luck, eh?" natatawang sabi ni Louie.
"Yes, sa love life para naman masaya. Mabrokenhearted sana kayong dalawa!"
Umiling ako sa kaniya. "That day will never happen," ulit ko sa sinabi kanina kahit na may ibang naiisip.
I sighed as I recalled it all. That day will never happen, that's my exact words to Sapphire when she told us about having a bad luck when it comes to love.
Indeed, it really happened.
Can you fucking believe it?
"You're beautiful," naisatinig ko ang matagal ko nang gustong sabihin sa kaniya.
Kita ko ang pamimilog ng kaniyang mga mata dahil sa gulat. I mentally cursed myself because of that. What did I just say? Damn, Hiro. Kailan ka pa natutong pumuri ng ganito sa ibang tao?
This can't be.
"Thank you for your appreciation," she said.
What?
Humalakhak ako dahil sa sinabi niya. This girl is really one of a kind. Huminto ako sa pagtawa at saglit na pinasadahan ng tingin ang kabuuan ng kaniyang mukha. From her mesmerizing almond shaped eyes, perfect nose, and her thin cute lips...
One glance and I already know, this girl will play a big role in my life. Bigger than anyone else.
"Athena," kunot noong tawag ni Asher sa kaniya. "Hindi ba't bibili ka pa ng mga damit?"
"Aalis na ako," she said to Asher. I almost stiffened when she finally turned towards me. "Salamat ulit sa kanina."
Pinanood ko siyang unti unting makaalis sa harapan ko. Nang mangyari iyon ay kaagad kong narinig ang marahas na pagbuntong hininga ni Asher. I glanced at him, a slight pain attacked my chest when I saw the unfamiliar coldness in his eyes.
Hindi siya ganito noon.
"Stop it. I'm warning you," he said dangerously.
I tried hard to maintain a stoic expression, never minding the attacking pain for the lost years of friendship and brotherhood. "It will take more than that to scare me."
His jaw clenched, rage is evident in his eyes.
"Lahat na lang ba?"
Natigilan ako roon. I know what he is implying to say. I fucking know it. It has been on my dreams for the past years. It has been on my mind, not wanting me to have peace.
I gritted my teeth. The pain I am feeling is slowly eating my whole system. Nandito pa pala ito. Akala ko ay nasanay na ako. I lived with it for almost four years. I thought I will never be affected like this again.
His parents are my first bloods. And I abhor myself for that. Dahil kasabay ng pagkamatay ng mga magulang niya ay ang pagbaon din niya sa halos siyam na taong pinagsamahan namin.
At aakuin ko ng buong buo ang kasalanang iyon! It's my entire fault! I should have known better!
And on that very moment, I then wonder... can I ever forgive myself? Posible pa ba iyon?
I glared at Asher before turning my back against him. Umalis ako sa parteng iyon ng mall at nilibang ang sarili sa mga bagay na nakikita sa paligid. I seldomly go here. Hindi ko nga alam kung ano ang nagtulak sa akin para pumunta rito. I don't shop. I have enough clothes and shoes.
I hissed. Bakit nga ba ulit ako nandito?
And just like an answered prayer, I saw Athena. Nasa loob siya ng isang stall kasama si Sapphire na nakabalat kayo bilang si Megan. Huminto ako sa paglalakad at pinanood kung paano umikot ang kaniyang mga mata sa tuwing may ilalahad sa kaniyang dress si Saph.
I unconsciously smiled. Sapphire is jolly and energetic, completely opposite to her. She's sometimes cold and savage. Para siyang tigreng mahirap amuhin. Mahirap siyang patawanin o pangitiin man lang. And I don't know what's gotten into my mind for always wanting to make her smile.
Is it the thrill? Dahil alam kong mahirap, kaya gustong gusto kong gawin?
Muli ko siyang tinitigan kinabukasan nang bigla ko siyang makasalubong malapit sa kakahuyan. Kunot na kunot ang noo at parang susuntukin ang kahit na sino mang lalapit sa kaniya.
I immediately smirked. Nagpasya akong lapitan at kausapin siya.
"Looks like you're not in a good mood today, huh?"
Natigilan siya sa paglalakad. Inilibot niya ang tingin sa paligid, mukhang hindi namalayan na napunta siya dito. After realizing it, she raised her brow as she looked at me with the same mad, irritated eyes. "Wala kang pakialam."
Oh.
Shit. Natigilan ako dahil doon. I saw how she bit her lower lip after saying that. How could this girl do that?
And I answered... this isn't all about the thrill. This is something... deeper.
Humalakhak ako. I saw how her eyes widened because of that. "My, you really are something," wika ko hindi para sa kaniya, kung hindi para sa sarili.
This isn't good. I tried, alright. Tinalikuran ko siya agad nang pinili niyang hindi sagutin ang tanong ko tungkol sa kung anong nangyari sa kaniya. But this girl really has her own way of clouding my mind, of fucking my already fucked up system.
"Bakit mo hinayaan si Asher na ilagay ako sa faction niya? Hindi ba dapat kasama ninyo ako? You guys said that I'm also an Alpha. Why are you not doing anything?" she asked me.
My lips parted because of that. Kitang kita ko ang kuryosidad sa kaniyang mga mata, pero maliban doon ay nakita ko ang kagustuhan niyang sagutin ko ito. It's like she isn't asking a favor for me to answer her questions. It is like she is demanding for answers. Parang inoobliga niya pa ako.
I chuckled at that thought. Nababaliw na yata ako.
Her brows furrowed at me. "Ano bang nakakatawa?" iritado niyang sinabi.
See?
"Oh, chill." Itinaas ko ang dalawa kong kamay. "I already expected that you would ask those kind of questions, Athena. Medyo natagalan ka nga lang kaysa sa inaasahan ko," wika ko, hindi pa rin nawawala ang ngisi sa labi.
Umirap siya. "You see, I'm quite busy yesterday. And my mind still can't process everything so it took me a day to confront you. Sorry, ah?" she sarcastically said.
Ilang beses pa ba akong mamamangha sa lahat ng sasabihin at gagawin niya?
"Bakit, sasama ka ba sa'kin?" Wala sa sarili kong tinanong sa kaniya.
"H-huh?"
I smiled inwardly. "Sasama ka ba?"
Bakit parang iba ang ibig kong sabihin doon? I mentally cursed myself. Of course it is about the Alpha Team. It should be about that, Hiro. Nothing else.
Dammit. I'm doomed.
Sinubukan kong umiwas. I busied myself with the training. Dito dapat ako magfocus, hindi sa ibang bagay.
Huminto ako pagkatapos kong pabagsakin sa sahig si Louie, isang araw sa aming pagsasanay. He groaned because of that. I heard him uttering a curse to me.
"Tangina naman, Hiro! May galit ka ba sa akin?" reklamo niya. "Insecure ka ba sa mukha ko, dude?"
I raised my middle finger at him. What a very conceited asshole.
Hindi na lamang ako umimik at nagpatuloy na lamang sa ginagawang pagsasanay. Gusto kong ituon ang buong atensyon ko sa mas makabuluhang mga bagay.
I want to try diverting my attention. Because I know, no matter how I want it... I will never win. No matter how much I try. Even if I spent my whole life working on it... it just won't happen.
Hindi ko nga lang alam kung saan ako nagkulang at bakit hindi ko magawa? Bakit hanggang ngayon ay hindi pa rin ako makaahon sa kumunoy na matagal ko nang gustong iwasan?
"But you still deserve to have peace in your mind, Hiro. Patawarin mo ang sarili mo sa lahat. Believe in yourself in times like this," aniya. "Alam kong hindi ninyo sinasadya. Naiintindihan ko si Asher pero naiintindihan ko rin kayo."
I looked at her. She looks so innocent. Ramdam ko ang paninikip ng dibdib ko habang nakatingin sa kaniya.
"When Asher stopped believing in me, I stopped believing in myself too. When Asher started to get mad at me, I started to get mad at myself too," iling ko. "So, I'm sorry if I can't grant your request to forgive myself right now, Athena. Dahil hanggang nangyayari ang lahat ng ito, maaapektuhan at maaapektuhan pa rin ako."
She bit her lower lip and smiled wearily at me. Tinanggal niya ang kamay niya sa balikat ko. I inhaled inwardly at that.
One touch and I can almost lose it. So fucking whipped.
I looked at her as I feel the same pain attacking on my chest. "Nasa room ninyo si Sapphire. Please accompany her for now, she needs you," wika ko dahil kanina pa akong nag-aalala kay Sapphire. I just really don't have enough energy to go to her right now.
The intense pain is eating all my strength.
"Si... Luigi?"
"Hindi siya nagpapakita sa amin lalo na kapag galit o nasasaktan siya," simple kong sagot. "But don't worry about him, I know he can handle himself. Sadyang ayaw niya lang talagang makikita siya ng iba kapag ganito na ang sitwasyon. Please understand him. Sa aming tatlo, siya ang nakita kong pinakanaaapektuhan kapag nangyayari ang ganito."
"Aalis na ako. Uh... are you okay here?"
I stared at her face. I hate how soothing her voice is. I don't like how she can calm the monster inside me in just one look.
"Yes, Athena, thank you," I said sincerely.
Hindi ko gusto kung paano niya nagagawa iyon sa akin. Hindi ko matanggap.
I don't own myself anymore. It's now hers.
Noong una ay hindi ko kayang tanggapin ngunit habang tumatagal... unti unti ko na ring pinakawalan ang sarili ko sa lubid na pumipigil sa akin. Hindi kagaya nang dati na pilit pa akong umaahon sa kumunoy, ngayon ay nag-iba na. Tuluyan ko nang hinayaan ang sarili kong lamunin nito.
Bahala na. I don't know what will happen next pero... bahala na. Hindi ko alam kung kailan pa ako nagsimulang maging sunod sunuran sa nararamdaman ko. I didn't even know that I was capable of doing that.
Growing up, I thought feelings are invalid. Naniwala ako noon na walang puwang ang nararamdaman dahil magiging hadlang lang ito sa mga maaari nating gustong gawin.
Thinking about it now, I realized something. Siguro ay kaya ako hindi naniniwala noon dahil alam ko sa sarili kong kapag ako mismo ang nakaranas... sobra sobra ang maibibigay ko. At hindi iyon tama. That's not how it should be. Kaya pinili kong huwag pagtuunan ng pansin.
Because I know deep inside, if I let my feelings rule over me... it will lead to self distraction.
Dahil sobra sobra ang kaya kong ibigay. At kapag ako na mismo ang nakaramdam... baka mawalan na ako ng pakialam kahit na ikasisira ko pa.
And I was right. Pero kahit kailan ay hindi ko pagsisisihan ito. Because all I want is for her to be happy... and even if it means it will ruin me in the process, that's fine with me. I won't complain.
Because no matter how much of a wreckage I am gonna be... and even if this love will cost my heart... That's fine.
She's worth it.
"Hindi naman ako nainform na ganito pala kayo katanga," Sapphire insulted, laughing.
I heard Louie groaned at that. He glared at Sapphire. Hindi naman natakot ang huli at mas lalo lamang ngumisi sa amin.
Natatawa akong umiling. "At least..." I whispered to myself.
At least I got to feel it. At least... she is letting me to feel this way.
Okay na ako.
"Why don't you guys try it? Just try. Wala namang mawawala kung susubukan niyo," she added.
I stared at her. Really, Saph?
"Kaya mo bang sumugod kay Augustus ng mag-isa?" Louie probed.
I smirked. Kita ko ang naguguluhang mukha ni Saph. Her brows furrowed as she looked at Louie, so confused.
"You mean, wala kayo?"
Louie nodded.
"Hindi niyo ko tutulungan?" she asked again.
Ngumisi si Louie sa kaniya at umiling. "You'll go to the palace alone and wil try to kill him."
"The hell. That's a suicide mission!" untag ni Sapphire sa kaniya.
I chuckled. Exactly.
Suicide mission, huh?
"Pala, e..."
Mas lalong kumunot ang noo ni Sapphire. "Anong connect? Bobo ninyo!"
I frowned and looked at the two. I saw Louie's annoyed face as he glared at her.
"Kami pa ang bobo, e ikaw itong hindi nakagets?" he sarcastically said.
"Anong connect ni Augustus sa mga sinasabi ko?!"
"Stop it," saway ko dahil alam kong wala na namang katapusang away ang mangyayari pagkatapos.
Damn. Lahat na lang yata kaaway itong si Louie. I scoffed. What an ass.
"Hiro!?" Sapphire exaggeratedly called my name for help. She always does that. Humarap siya sa akin. Kunot ang noo at magkasalubong ang dalawang kilay. "I didn't get it! Explain, please?"
Babaling na sana ako sa kaniya kung hindi ko lang nakita si Asher na naglalakad papunta sa amin. Kaagad akong napatayo. I know that the two saw him approaching too because they grew silent... at saka parehas na tumayo katulad ko.
I was startled when he went towards me. Kumunot ang noo ko. What is he doing?
Isang malakas na suntok ang dumapo sa pisngi ko. Umawang ang labi ko dahil sa gulat. Rinig ko ang sigaw ni Athena dahil doon.
But then again... I felt a warm hand touching my heart. Sumikip ang dibdib ko dahil sa nararamdaman.
"That's for my father."
I swallowed hard. The pain attacking on my chest is unfathomable. Nag-init ang gilid ng mga mata ko habang unti-unting napagtatagpi-tagpi ang mga nangyayari.
He punched Louie too. I heard Louie muttered a very soft curse because of that.
"That's for my mother."
And a strong punch on my lip was also thrown at me. Hindi ko na mamalayan ang mga sumunod na sinabi niya. I gasped as I tasted my own blood.
Bahagya pa akong natulala at saglit na pinagtuunan ng pansin ang sakit na nararamdaman para sa sarili at para sa aming lahat. I suddenly felt something heavy in my heart. Parang may mabigat na dumagan dito... making me feel the pain more... and then after a while, ramdam ko ang unti-unti nitong pagkawala.
Saglit kong naalala ang araw na iyon. His parents' death was my death too. The guilt crept inside me for the whole several years. It ate my whole system.
Kahit pa alam kong ginawa ko iyon para sa kaligtasan namin, hindi ko pa rin matanggap. Inako ko ng buo ang kasalanang iyon. I exhausted myself everyday. Pinagbabayad ang sarili dahil iyon ang tingin kong tama.
I killed his parents. There is no justifying in that. Kahit na iba ang intensyon ko. Napatay ko pa rin sila.
I wanted out of the council that time. Dahil sa tuwing naaalala ko iyon, walang ibang sumasagi sa isipan ko kung hindi ang dugo ng mga magulang niya sa mga kamay ko.
But the council didn't let us. They used their power against us... leaving us with no fucking choice.
"You are fucking kidding me. Tangina..." Louie's frustrated voice echoed on my mind as I recalled everything.
Sapphire is crying. Louie gasped as he hugged the only girl in our group. I clenched my fist. Ramdam ko ang punyal na paulit-ulit na tumutusok sa puso ko.
"Si Kuya, Louie... Hiro, si Kuya...." Patuloy sa paghikbi si Sapphire.
I swallowed hard. May kung anong humarang sa lalamunan ko kaya't hindi ako makapagsalita. I stared at the two. Louie whispered something at her as he hugged her more. Patuloy sa paghagulgol si Sapphire habang hawak hawak ang damit ni Louie.
Nag-iwas ako ng tingin. Maraming taong naiinggit sa amin dahil sa pagiging Alpha. They want to be like us too. They want to have what we have... the special Control.
Ngunit ako? Ayoko. Kung may paraan lang para mawala ito ay gagawin ko. This is the main reason why I am experiencing this agony. Because of this fucking Switching Control. Dahil dito, mainit ang mata sa amin ng council.
Dahil dito... maraming nawala sa akin.
Kaya bakit gugustuhin ko ang pagkakaroon ng ganitong klase ng kapangyarihan kung ang kapalit naman nito ay ang pagkawala ng mga taong mahalaga sa akin?
Hindi bale na lang kung ganoon.
I don't know how I managed to swallow the bile on my throat and wipe my hidden tears away. Still feeling the same anguish, I turned my back against them and angrily walked away.
Bitbit ang galit sa council at higit sa lahat ay ang poot ko para sa sarili, nakakuha ako ng lakas para magpatuloy sa araw-araw. We remained working under the council, not because we want to... but because we don't have any other choice.
Thinking about all of this, I realized... siguro nga't ito talaga ang nararapat sa akin. To be jailed in here. To be reminded of my sins. To suffer because that is what I deserve for being bad.
"Mission accomplished!" Ngumisi sa akin si Sapphire pagkatapos niyang mapatumba ang huling lalaki.
Tumango ako sa kaniya. "Congrats." maikli kong sinabi.
"Kapal ng mukha, ah. Mas marami nga akong napatumba kaysa sa inyong dalawa," Louie murmured.
I shook my head. "Yabang mo, muntikan ka na ngang mamatay kung hindi ko lang napigilan iyong susugod sa iyo."
Louie frowned as he glared at me. I raised my brow at him and as a response, he raised his middle finger in front my face.
Malakas na hinampas ni Sapphire iyon. "Stop that!" saway niya.
I scoffed. Inilibot ko ang paningin sa paligid. Our mission here is already finished. Pinasadahan ko ng tingin ang mga katawang nakahandusay sa sahig. They are illegally kidnapping children and making those kids work for them forcefully. Ngayo'y malaya na ang mga bata at makakauwi na sa kanilang pamilya.
Bumuntong hininga ako. I felt the familiar pain attacking my chest as I stared at those bodies. Mabilis kong iwinaksi sa isipan ang mga naalala.
I thought I would never feel blissfulness again. Because I already assumed that I deserve every bits of distress I am suffering. Akala ko ay hinding hindi ko na mapapatawad pa ang sarili ko.
Indeed today, it happened.
Ngumisi ako kay Asher. "Hanggang ngayo'y napakahina mo pa ring sumuntok."
Kita ko sa gilid ng mga mata ko si Athena na gulat na gulat sa mga nangyayari. Just by the thought of having her near me, I felt something unfamiliar in me.
My heart is now at peace.
"Hindi man lang ako nasaktan kahit kaunti," Louie seconded.
"Now I'm satisfied," Asher said as he smirked at the both of us.
And the next thing I knew, Sapphire already ran towards us for a tight embrace.
Looking back, I thought of everything carefully. Hinahanap ko kung saang parte ako nagkamali ng desisyon ngunit wala akong makita. Where did it go wrong? Bakit ngayo'y muli na naman akong ibinabalik sa poot ng nakaraan?
It was like they only made me feel happy so I won't be able to forget what that feels... and then will throw me at the abyss of agony again... making me miss the feeling of it.
Parang pinatikim lang sa akin nang saglit ang kasiyahan bago ako itapon pabalik sa walang katapusang paghihirap. A slight peek on the light before kicking me on the depths of darkness.
"Hoy, gago," I whispered. "Bakit ba kasi namatay ka? Akala ko ba sama sama tayong lahat sa impyernong buhay dito? Why are you suddenly there at the real hell? Mainit ba riyan?"
Nilagay ko ang magkabilang kamay sa loob ng bulsa habang nakatingin sa puntod ni Louie.
"Ano? Tagapaypay ka riyan ni Satanas?"
I laughed because of that. Inalis ko ang kanang kamay sa bulsa nang makaramdam ako ng kirot mula roon. I blankly stared at it. Punong puno na ng natuyong dugo ang kamay ko.
I shook my head. Ibabalik ko na sana muli sa loob ng bulsa ko nang may humawak nito. I was startled so I wasn't able to react properly.
"I am sorry," I heard her say it softly. Binasa niya ng alcohol ang dala dala niyang panyo at marahang pinunasan ang kamay ko.
Dahil sa halo halong nararamdaman ay hindi ko na namalayan ang hapdi niyon. I swallowed hard as I stared at Athena who is seriously looking at my wound. I got that because of my tight hold on her badge. Bumuntong hininga ako at binaba ang tingin sa kamay.
Nang tuluyan niya nang malinis iyon ay dahan dahan niya iyong ibinaba. I sighed as I looked at her face again.
"Alam kong hindi mo gusto iyon pero... ikaw lang talaga ang kilala kong makakagawa noon. I really am sorry, Hiro."
I nodded at her. "I understand."
"I am sorry for forcing you to do it. Alam kong mali ang ginawa ko pero--"
I cut her off. "It's fine, Athena. Wala kang kasalanan," malumanay kong sinabi. "Totoong naiintindihan ko kung bakit mo iyon ginawa."
I was incredibly hurt but she is not the one to blame. Siya ang biktima. And I know she is also having a hard time right now.
"I didn't know sacrifices will hurt this way." She laughed without humor.
Tinitigan ko siya. Tumingala siya sa akin at sinubukang ngumiti. I remained serious as I stared at her.
Hindi ko alam kung saan ako humugot ng tapang para yakapin siya. I felt her hands on my chest. Kalaunan ay narinig ko ang mumunti niyang hikbi sa dibdib ko.
I sighed again. Pinikit ko ang mga mata ko habang dinarama ang saglit na kapayapaang ibinibigay ng yakap niya sa akin.
"I'm so tired... of being protected, Hiro... Pagod na p-pagod na akong... panoorin kayong..." She sobbed more. "magsakripisyo para sa akin..."
"Hush..." I whispered on her ear. "You did great, Athena. I am so proud of you."
Hindi ko alam kung gaano kami katagal sa ganoong posisyon. Nanatili akong nakapikit habang patuloy na sinusulit ang mga oras na kayakap ko siya.
Hugging her feels like I am hugging my sanity... and my only remaining source of happiness and peace.
"We loved each other at the wrong time," she whispered.
A familiar pain attacked my chest as she said that. And a sudden memory from my childhood crossed my mind.
"Why are you here?" I asked when I saw a girl on our house.
She panicked. Nilibot ko ang paningin ko sa paligid. Sarado ang mga bintana at madilim. My brows furrowed. I can hear the explosions somewhere. The war has already begun.
I watched the girl roamed her eyes around the house, as if searching for someone.
"Where's Mommy? Daddy?"
Natigilan ako dahil sa sobrang rahan ng boses niya. She pouted as she stared at me.
"Who are you?" she asked.
"Hiro," maikli kong sagot.
Ngumiti siya at tumango. "I am Athena."
She didn't answer my question. Why is she suddenly here? Mag-isa lang dapat ako sa bahay na ito. Ang parehas kong mga magulang ay umalis at kasama sa giyera, pinoprotektahan ang gobyerno ng Minde.
I maybe a child but I am not that dumb. I can understand things that they thought I won't. Sa mura kong edad ay may kaalaman na ako sa mga nangyayari sa paligid.
However, this girl doesn't seem like it.
"Hiro! Narito ka pala!"
I looked at the familiar man who is approaching us. Kilala ko siya. Katrabaho siya ni Mommy.
"Daddy!" the girl exclaimed happily.
Daddy?
Ngumiti ang lalaki kay Athena at ginulo ang buhok nito, saka tumingin sa akin. "Pasensiya na Hiro. Dito rin muna kami para mailayo si Athena sa gulo at... ibinilin ka rin kasi sa amin ng mga magulang mo."
Tumango ako at muling sumulyap sa batang babae. When she noticed that I am looking at her, she smiled at me.
"Play?"
I smiled. "Sure."
Umalis din ang Daddy niya at hinayaan kaming maglaro sa loob ng bahay. We played until Athena complained that she is already tired. She sat on our sofa. Kumuha naman ako ng tubig sa refrigerator, uminom, at saka naglagay sa baso para ialok sa kaniya.
"You know... I don't have any idea why we are here. It seems like there is something wrong outside," aniya pagkatapos uminom.
I sat beside her. "There is."
She looked at me with wide eyes. "Really!?" bulalas niya. "Nakakatakot!" she said in a very girly manner.
Napailing ako. "Do you already know your Control?" I asked.
Nagkibit balikat siya. "What is that?"
What? Hindi niya alam iyon? Itinatago ba ito ng mga magulang niya sa kaniya?
I felt the urge to say it to her but I stopped myself. I am not the right person to explain that to Athena. Maybe her parents have a reason. I don't want to meddle.
Umiling ako. "Nevermind. I am an Alpha," wika ko.
Pinakita ko sa kaniya ang marka ko sa likod ng palad. She curiously stared at it.
She doesn't really know about this, huh?
"Alpha?" bulong niya. "Parang narinig ko na pero hindi ko maalala."
Magsasalita pa sana ako ngunit malalakas at sunod sunod na pagsabog ang bumalot sa buong lugar. Kaagad akong napatayo at bumaling sa paligid. Maglalakad na sana ako papunta sa bintana para tignan kung hindi ko lang narinig ang maliliit na hikbi ni Athena.
I looked at her and I confirmed that she was indeed crying. Takot ang nakikita ko sa ekspresiyon niya habang patuloy siya sa pag-iyak. Saglit pa akong nakipagtalo sa sarili ko kung tutuloy pa ba ako sa pagtingin sa mga nangyayari sa labas ngunit sa huli...
I sighed and sat on the sofa beside Athena as I pulled her for an embrace.
"Hush, Athena. Don't be scared anymore. I'll protect you."
Dumilat ako ngunit hindi ako bumitiw sa pagkakayakap. Ramdam ko ang pagbaba ng kamay niya mula sa dibdib ko, hanggang sa yakapin niya rin ako pabalik.
It took me a while before finally convincing myself to release her from my tight embrace. Kita ko ang pagtataka sa mukha niya dahil sa ginawa kong biglaang pagbitaw.
I smiled at her. Siguro'y kailangan ko nang ganap na kumbinsihin ang sarili kong tumigil na.
Because she will always be impossible for me. Even if I was already given a chance... she will always remain like a star. A star that I can never reach.
We were so close. At some point, I thought she was my almost. But then again, it didn't happen. It will never happen.
Happiness will always be impossible for me. Just like before.
I am Hiroshi Fuentebella, an Alpha with the special Switching Control. Ironic that I can switch everything to become mine... except for her.
***