Honor and Infatuation

Chapter One

My radio alarm clock rang throughout my room, waking me with Jim Morrison's voice. "Hello, I love you won't you tell me your name?" Those were the lyrics that I heard every morning. It never got old. I rose up and stretched my arms, letting out a loud yawn and wiped my face. Ew, dried drool. I hop out of my bed and walk to my bathroom. It's Sunday morning. I usually make my father his morning coffee before taking a taxi to the hospital to visit my mom. When I walked into the kitchen, I wasn't met with my father's cheery voice. 'Huh, he must be asleep,' I thought. I continued making the coffee, and I heated up some tostadas for breakfast. I sat down and ate, but my dad still hadn't come into the kitchen. I walked to his room and knocked on the door but received no answer. I cracked the door open slowly. Nothing. I checked the bathroom, the basement, the living room, but he was nowhere to be found.
I started to panic. Dad didn't come home last night, but that was normal for him. He always made sure to be back in the morning to spend some time with me before work. I tried using the house phone to call where he usually conducts his business, but no one answered. In the midst of my panicking, I heard a knock at the door. I ran to the door and threw it open. I saw that it was Samuel. I've never been a fan of my dad's work. The late hours, the random people showing up to our apartment, the constant fear of someone coming after us, it's awful. But Samuel. Samuel was a good one. I've known Sam since I was still in pigtails. He was one of the main people that helped out with my quinceanera. He's my father's best friend and closest work associate. When I opened the door, I could tell something was wrong. His eyes were red and glassy, but his face was stern, and he looked one edge. He was fidgeting with his hands and he immediately started speaking. His sentence was riddled with erms and other stutters.
"Samuel! What's going on? Where's dad?" I spat out. I pulled him into the apartment and shut the door behind him. He continued to sputter and stumble over his words.
"Is he in the hospital? Did something happen?" I continued to question. He just stopped talking and stared at me. We stared at each other for a minute until I got frustrated and smacked his chest.
"Sam! Tell me what the hell is happening! You're freaking me out! What's going on?" I pleaded. He stared down at his feet, sighed, then looked back up with tears in his eyes.
"Marisol...there was an incident. The Santos found out where your dad was conducting business. They brought all their men and shot the place up. A few of the other workers and I survived," he mumbled. I felt the dread wash over me. I knew what he was saying, but I had to ask for myself.
"And...my dad?" He kept his head down.
"He didn't make it, Mija. I'm sorry."
My face immediately got hot. I felt an immense feeling of sadness wash over me. Then, anger took over. How could my father let this happen? He knew something like this was inescapable. He left home, day in and day out, collecting money and shooting people like it was just another day at work. I can't continue renting this apartment. I don't have enough money for that. Who is gonna take care of mom's medical bills? How am I going to pay for school? I didn't know what to do or how to feel. I threw myself into Sam's arms and cried. I can't imagine how he must be feeling. He and my father had known each other since they were in elementary school. I pulled away from the hug and wiped my tears away.
"Can you take me to go see my mom please?" I asked, in between sniffles. He nodded and led me outside. The drive to the hospital was quiet. It was a sunny day. The entire time I was staring out the window, I saw people walking outside with their dogs and kids. Children were playing hopscotch on the sidewalks. People were outside, enjoying themselves. It made me angry. How dare they enjoy a day so abhorrent. They should be feeling the same sorrow that I'm feeling. I know that doesn't make much sense, but can you blame me?
Sam dropped me off at the hospital and I walked in. I had one of the nurses let me into my mom's room. I sat next to her and held her hand.
"Hi, Mami. How are you doing today?" I whispered. I knew she wasn't going to respond to me, but it was comforting just to talk. I ran my thumb over her warm hand and squeezed it.
"It's just you and I now. Dad isn't going to be coming to visit anymore." I started to tear up.
"Yea, I'm sorry. He got caught up at work. I don't know the next time he's gonna be able to come to visit." I knew I didn't have to lie to her. I just couldn't make myself say what actually happened.
"It's okay, though. We'll be okay. I promise." That wasn't true, and I knew that. I sat there and talked with her till visiting hours were up. I called Samuel to take me home. In the car ride, I could sense that he wanted to tell me something. I looked over at him and he sighed.
"Marisol, I need to tell you something," he groaned. I mentally prepared myself for more bad news. Clenching my fists and holding my breath, I looked at him and tilted my head in a questioning manner.
"We know the name of the specific person who ordered the shooting that killed your father. Since it's your turn to take over the family business, we need you to take out our next target."