My time had been spent enjoyably as I manifested shields and enchanted them in creative ways throughout the day. After all, that task required all of my attention, I didn't have time to worry about Lucy, my sister, or this Brain guy who gave me the creeps.
I decided to spend my time thinking of ways to perfect my armors, weapons and shields so that when I had to use them in battle I wouldn't be at a disadvantage because I couldn't use my weapons properly.
Angel had given her opinion on my outfits as well, she thought a girl as pretty as me should wear dresses and jewellery not armor and weapons. She could hardly believe me when I told her that women today are breadwinners in their households and even wear trousers.
A knock at my door brought me out of my reflecting. I wondered who it was and my hand hovered hesitantly over the door knob as I imagined Brain on the other end of the door.
I still managed to take a deep breath and open the door to see Jellal's gruesome looking face. He tried to smile but it didn't do much apart from advertise the insides of his cheeks and teeth. I shivered when I remembered kissing his cheek earlier. I had definitely been brave.
"Hello...it's a bit early for dinner isn't it?" I asked him quizzically and he offered me his gloved hand. I hesitated and took it as I closed my door behind myself.
"I thought you might have forgotten. I said I would fetch you earlier to take you to visit your friend, unless you want to do something else?" He offered and I quickly shook my head.
"Do you know if she has woken up yet?" I asked him worriedly and played with my fingers nervously. He shook his head.
"I'm sorry, I haven't kept tabs on the girl after she was brought in yesterday. Don't worry over her too much, I'm sure Meredy it taking care of her." He said dismissively. I frowned.
"I know she is, but she is my friend and she's been through so much recently, she's lost so many people who she loves...even some she doesn't know existed yet, she needs someone familiar to be there for her. I would hate to be alone or with...strangers if I was in her situation." I said sadly and his hand stroked my back startling me.
"Once she is in a better condition, I will have her moved to the room adjacent to yours. You can keep a better eye on her that way, but don't think of plotting escape. I'm sure if you just try to adjust to these changes, you'll find you like living here." He said optimistically. I highly doubted that but I smiled tightly and nodded.
Meredy hadn't been in the infirmary when we arrived but Lucy had been awake. She froze in fear as she saw Jellal, and instead of saying he would wait outside like he did before, this time he walked right up to the windows and opened the closed curtains letting the afternoon light flood in and change his corpselike appearance back into his natural form. She gasped and stared at him.
"Lucy, this is Jellal. He is kind of the boss around here. He's not so bad, he just has a bit of a temper." I said and smiled. She grimaced and looked at him hatefully.
"Did he do that to you? Your cheek?" She asked me coldly. I was momentarily surprised, it was unlike her to be so hard and impolite.
"Yes, but I was shouting at him. You know the guys sometimes test their luck as well. Jellal just got lucky." I tried to joke but she seemed to have lost her sense of humour.
"Hitting you is one thing, not that, that, is okay, but it looks like he really hurt you." She said scornfully and her fists clenched in the blanket the covered her. Jellal continued looking outside the window but I caught him cringing slightly at her words.
"Yes, I know. But that's not important. Tell me, what happened to you after you left this place? Did you find Wendy? Is she alright?" I begged her and even though the look Lucy send Jellal clearly stated that this was far from over, she looked back towards me and took something off from around her neck. My mothers necklace. My necklace.
I stared at it in confusion before I nodded in understand and accepted it back. She had never found Wendy. I gulped back a wave of tears as I reached forward and grabbed her hand.
"And you? How are you keeping? What happened?" I asked as I moved to sit next to her and brush her hair affectionately with my fingers.
"Well, I ran. I looked for Wendy for you, even after I found the forest exit to the next town over, I couldn't betray you, I tried to go back as far as I could towards our town to see if I could spot her but I just couldn't. I was almost caught by a few of Acnologia's men, he was still searching for you...I got lost after that and I couldn't remember which way to turn. I wondered around aimlessly trying to find her and trying to find something familiar to let me know where I was...then I woke up here again. Erza, I'm so sorry I failed you." She said sorrowfully and tears rolled down her cheeks as she looked down at her lap.
"Hey, don't worry about it. You tried your best and that's all that matters." I comforted her and helped her dry her tears.
"That's just like you Erza. You're in trouble too but you care more about me that yourself. Erza, what is going on? Why are you with him? Aren't you...scared?" She asked me and I bit my lip. I caught a green eye that watched me interestedly through the glass's reflection.
"I'm...scared. A little. It's actually just a really good illusion. They aren't really monster's, they are actually cursed. They used to be...yakuza." I said and she looked at me with wide eyes before closing her eyes in exasperation and shaking her head. She clutched my shoulder for support.
"Listen, I don't care what happens to me, the first chance you get, you run. Don't you know who the yakuza are? My father used to talk about having to protect Anna from yakuza assassinations almost daily at one point. Erza, they are worse than the mafia!" She hissed out at me desperately. I flinched.
"They aren't like that anymore, that was a long time ago. The were cursed by an enchantress to be as they are now. Meredy didn't hurt you, did she? Or Angel? They aren't what you think. But...I don't know, I could be imagining things but the one called Brain looks at me strangely, stay away from him. I think Ultear is nice as well, she cooks for us, and so is Cobra and Cubellios his snake girlfriend. I don't really know Hoteye, Midnight or Racer, but they don't seem that bad either. Trust me this isn't nearly as bad as what I had waiting for me as Acnologia's wife. I'm not obedient like Anna was for the most part, and there's no way I'd spread my legs for him. He probably would have killed me by now." I said mournfully but with a touch of humour. She didn't look like she wanted to believe me, but Lucy was still Lucy and she took a few moments to process what I said before nodding.
"Apart from your cheek, did they hurt you...or make you do anything you didn't want to do?" She asked me softly, but I could tell how worried and scared she was for the both of us.
"No, not really. Jellal makes demands and I enjoy denying him, but that's about it...he won't let me outside though, I already escaped once." I confessed and her eyes widened hopefully.
"How?" She asked me softly and looked between me and him discretely.
"It won't work for you so don't even think about it, besides, I'm immortal I wouldn't have died if she left me in the forest. I was shot and her friends came to save her, instead of fleeing with them she took me back home to be seen to." He said without looking at us, or rather his eyes were glued to me through the reflection.
Lucy looked at me as if I lost my mind.
"That's not the whole story. He saved me from Acnologia's thugs, they caught me and tied me up. Took turns harassing me and taunting me too. I was tired, hungry and out of magic energy. If he didn't...kill them and save me...I would either be dead or a prisoner to Acnologia's bed." I said defensively and played with the corner of her blanket.
"Lucy, there's something I need to tell you." I said softly as Meredy walked into the room with a tray of soup, bread and fruits. Lucy looked at me trustingly and Meredy stiffened while she arranged the tray.
"You were pregnant...from one of the men who raped you. The baby didn't make it." I said and I omitted the fact that Meredy had chosen to kill it and that I knew the truth. I told her only what mattered. She looked lost and confused.
"Are you...sure?" She asked me and I bit my lip and both Jellal and Meredy turned to look at me in a strange way.
"Yes. Meredy is a very proficient doctor. Don't think about it though, okay? One day you'll have another baby with someone you love and you won't ever have to think of this time of your life again. You know Natsu cares about you...maybe this was a message from heaven, okay?" I tried to reason with her using soft words. She didn't look like she quite believed me yet or that she understood the gravity of my revelation, it was something difficult to accept and process in such little time, especially in front of strangers.
"I don't know if I should have told you or not but- "I tried to reason and she reached over and squeezed my hand reassuringly.
"No, you did the right thing. I deserved to know. Miscarriages happen all the time, right? All the stress and trauma I went through...it happened and its done. I'm probably a terrible person for saying this but, I'm glad it worked out this way. I don't know how I would have handled the news or the pregnancy...thank you Erza." She told me and I shook my head.
"I'm not the one you should be thanking. Meredy is the one looking after you. She has been worrying over you since the moment you were found. Anyway, your dinner is here. Do you want me to keep you company?" I asked and she smiled sadly and shook her head. She leaned forward and took my necklace from my hand and clasped it around my neck.
"No, I want to be alone for a bit. I'll see you later or, tomorrow right?" She asked me hopefully and I glanced over at Jellal through my bangs.
"Sure." He confirmed and I hesitantly smiled at her.
"Get better, I'll see you then. Goodnight." I told her and she smiled sadly and waved.
"Wait! Erza, can I talk to you for a moment?" Meredy called to me as she quickly began setting up a dining table with Lucy's food. She told Lucy to make sure she ate all of it and Lucy thanked her for her kindness.
I stood by the door with Jellal and Meredy as she walked over to me. I wished I knew what her expression was.
"You didn't tell her." She whispered softly so only we would hear. I shook my head.
"No, I did tell her. She deserved to know, but she doesn't have to know what part you had in it, it won't make any difference and it will only hurt her more anyway, trust me. I'm sure I made the right decision. Everything will be fine." I said and she nodded hesitantly.
"Thank you." She said and walked back to her desk.
I followed Jellal to the dining room where dinner was prepared. I looked at it hungrily. Once we had taken our seats and he said I could eat I went straight for the lobster. How on earth did they even get lobster here?
"That was very kind what you did there." He called to me from across the table. I looked at him in confusion.
"What do you mean?" I asked him and he sat with his elbows on the table and rested his chin on his folded hands, looking at me thoughtfully.
"Someone was going to get hurt. You, your friend or Meredy. You chose to tell the most important part of the truth while hiding Meredy's involvement. You were very kind to them both, choosing to tell your friend a difficult truth and still allowing Meredy to remain close to her. You somehow avoided all hurt and conflict and still made the right decision twice." He said somewhat appreciatively and I chewed my food slowly considering her words.
"Thank you...I guess. I don't know what the big deal is, I didn't really do anything." I shrugged and toyed with my food on my plate.
"You did. Is this what you didn't want to tell me earlier? About her pregnancy?" He asked me and I bit my lip.
"I wasn't sure what I was going to tell Lucy until I saw her sitting there and my conscience made me tell her." I confessed and he looked at me with a warm look in his eyes.
"No, you still would have done the right thing no matter what the circumstances. You didn't tell me because you thought I would try to blackmail you with the information, is that correct?" He asked me and my stomach churned. I was hungry but I didn't feel like bringing up this conversation again. I wiped my mouth and stood from my seat.
"Thank for dinner but I'm not hungry anymore." I said sadly and took one last starved glance at the lobster before I turned to leave.
"I know you're hungry, come back and finish your dinner." He called from his seat. I bit my lip and folded my arms stubbornly as I continued walking.
"I was going to tell you about your sister." He said and I stopped. I dropped my arms to my sides and clenched my fists.
"You're lying. If you intended to tell me anything you would have done so already. You're so focussed on keeping me here and trying to find ways to control me that you don't seem to remember that she is just a scared little girl who is separated from her family, and possibly in danger. If you ever even cared..." I muttered and continued walking.
"And you will stay here with me if I save your sisters life, correct? I hope you will keep your word where she is involved, after all, you already promised to stay here if I let your friend go free, and apparently her life wasn't worth much since you broke your word." He called behind me. I clenched my fists harder until I almost drew blood.
"Its not like that and you know it! If you didn't want me to run you shouldn't have scared me! Do you have any idea how difficult all of this is for me? I lost everything I ever loved and I'm trapped inside these walls like a prisoner! You make me feel like I was cursed along with the lot of you sometimes!" I said and my voice cracked. I turned on my heel as I heard his chair squeak against the floor as he stood up. I ran as fast as I could to my room.
I sniffed and my chest felt tight as I ran to my room. I slammed my door behind me and leapt onto my bed, grabbing a pillow to cuddle as I buried my face into it and sobbed loudly like a little girl. It had been years since I really cried hard like this, but my mother dying, losing my home and my friends, being held here against my will and not even knowing if my precious baby sister was alive and well finally broke the flood gates and I gave into the sobs that shook my entire body.
I didn't hear my door open but I felt a depression on my bed when the person sat down.
"Go away. Please just go away." I begged and hugged the pillow tighter as I brought my legs up as close to my chest as I could get them. The person didn't leave but stroked my side and eventually, climbed up my bed and lay behind me and held me. I cried and sniffed and nuzzled my pillow. My breathing was raggered and unsteady and I hiccupped every few seconds when I began calming down.
When my sobs stopped and I shivered from the cold and trembled from exhaustion the figure began sitting up.
"Don't leave me." I whispered softly. I didn't know for sure if it was him, but as far as I knew no one else simply entered my room. He was one of the people hurting me the most at the moment, but Lucy needed to recover and Meredy had to look after her. Everyone else here were strangers and Angel could only comfort me so much in her condition. My captor was also my only comfort.
He hesitated but slowly lay back down and squeezed his arm between me and the pillow.
"I'm sorry. I've never been very good with people, and I don't really know how to talk to a girl like you. You seem so tough on the surface that I try to treat you the way I treat the others, but that is wrong of me I suppose. Your heart isn't hardened like ours. You're more sensitive. I just...like having you around. Can you really blame me for trying to find ways no matter how underhanded to keep you close to me? You're spirited and compassionate, and I enjoy your company even though we always argue. Even if you won't stay with me forever, just a few years, is that too much to ask?" He said from behind me. I shivered and breathed heavily.
"But I'm scared. I don't want to have to be brave all the time. Lucy needs me for support and so does my sister. I can't just cut my best friends out of my life either. Lucy loves Natsu and I doubt she will leave to pursue her own happiness if I'm trapped here. Wendy would never willingly leave my side, and what kind of life would this be for her? Always being scared, never being around other people, and losing our friends as well? I don't think I'm strong enough to pull through this alone. Even if they are with me. I need people, I need fresh air and the outside world. I can't do this." I said sadly and hugged my pillow as I whimpered.
He breathed hot air against my neck as he lay behind me.
"You can never come back if you leave. If there was a way...I could guarantee I would see you again, that you would return to me, then I would let you go. Despite what you may think of me, I don't want to hurt you, and I don't want to make you unhappy. But I wouldn't wish this curse on anyone. Just...one year. Stay with me without running away for one single year, and I'll let you all go free." He suggested and I hugged my pillow again before I turned in his arms to face him.
He looked hideous as one might imagine, but I still saw him through his eyes. When they weren't red and demonic, they were green, a beautiful jade green.
"One year. And you promise not to keep secrets from me? Like where my sister is?" I asked him and he looked like he was going to argue with me until he looked in my bloodshot eyes and nodded.
"Alright." He agreed. I didn't really feel like smiling, but I lay my head back down and he pulled me closer to his chest.
"When you were shot, I made it back to your castle because you were with me. Can't we...leave sometimes? We can come back so long as you are with me, trips into town shouldn't really be a big problem, right?" I asked him hopefully and he groaned miserably.
"We'll see. In the slightest bit of shade or cloud cover I'll look like a monster again. You'll be ostracized, or feared to be one of us." He warned me and I sniffed.
"Then only on cloudless days?" I suggested and he sighed.
"Maybe now and then..." He agreed, but I could tell he grew wary of the conversation.
"Maybe I'll still be here when the curse is lifted. You don't seem evil when you aren't teasing me or arguing with me. You should be almost there." I said optimistically. He grumbled as his only reply.
"Jellal?" I asked softly and he hummed his attention in annoyance.
"Where is my sister?" I asked him and looked up at him into his eyes. He stared at me in contemplation before answering me.
"Ultear found her in a brothel or tavern hiding out in the girl called Mirajane's bedroom room talking with her sister, another blonde girl. She couldn't find a way to make contact with her so my guys have been making round the clock surveillance to check up on her and report back to me where she was or what she was doing, she seems fine for now." He told me and I jumped up into a sitting position.
"My sister is living there?! Oh no, oh no, no, no...Acnologia's thugs drink there every day, what if she is found? They gamble and start fights there all the time, they even try to pressure or threaten girls into sexual services! Oh no..." I said in horror, trying to imagine what would happen to Wendy if she was caught.
"Relax, I'm sure nothing bad will happen to her, besides, Midnight told me there were guards watching the tavern at all times anyway." He said trying to comfort me and I froze.
"Guards? They run a tavern and constantly pay repair bills, they don't have money for guards." I said frantically and sat up fully on my bed. He sat up too, sensing my sudden panic and distress.
"What did they look like? Did you get their names?" I asked desperately and he nodded looking at me worriedly.
"I think you should stay here, I'll send Ultear to get her out by force." He said and I leapt off of my bed and chased after him grabbing hold of his arm.
"Wait! The names, what were they? Do you know if Acnologia is still in town? Please tell me. You promised." I reminded him desperately and searched his eyes for any sign of deceit. He sighed warily and pinched the bridge of his nose.
"The boss, Acnologia hasn't left the tavern, I believe he has rented a room for his stay there. The names that Cobra picked up were, Serena, August and Ajeel, to name a few. They change shifts every four hours." He told me and I shook my head and covered my mouth with the back of my hand.
"He knows. He knows who she is and where she is, he's waiting for me to come and get her." I said aloud and gasped as I tried to formulate a plan in my head.
"Just stay here and relax, we'll take care of it." He said and took my shoulders in his hands and pushed me back until I was forced to sit on my bed.
"No, you don't understand! They all use magic as well. Acnologia, his ability nullifies and absorbs others magic so he can use it himself, Serene is an elemental master and so is August...I don't know what magic Ajeel uses, but I think is has something to do with sand or earth...Zeref...I don't know if Zeref will be there but he is Acnologia's right had man, he even speaks for his boss, he uses black magic and-" I tried to explain frantically when I was push down onto my bed and held down by one of his hands on my belly.
"Angel, make sure she doesn't leave this room. Don't allow anyone else in either unless she knows who it is." He said loudly and commandingly.
"Of course, Jellal." She said from my mirror and disappeared. I tried to get up again but he knocked me down and pinned me to my bed.
"You either stay here or I'm locking you in my room, choose." He demanded and my lips quivered as I looked up at him helplessly.
"H-here. But what are you going to do? Please don't kill people...even if they are bad." I pleaded and another disturbing thought came to me.
"Who are you taking with you?" I asked him and his gaze softened.
"Everyone. Except Brain and Meredy. You bumped into Brain this morning because he wasn't included in your sisters surveyance." He told me and I flush at the kindness I didn't know he showed for me behind my back.
"I don't know what to say...thank you." I said softly and he nodded. He looked at my lips briefly before he got off of me and walked to my door.
"I'll have what's left of your dinner sent up to you, you must be starving." He said and the door closed a second afterwards.
"He really cares about you, you know. He has a strange way of showing it, but you've really grown on him. I haven't seen him so motivated since we were children." Angel said from my mirror. And I bit my lip.
"Do you really think so?" I asked her and she nodded thoughtfully.
"Yesterday in his room...he...kissed me. Before he hit me of course and both instances are unrelated..." I trailed off and she gaped at me and her eyes widened.
"He did what?!" She yelled so loudly my windows shook and the ceiling let loose some dust.
"Well he asked me first." I said embarrassedly and she looked at me in shock before some sort of strange realisation came over her and she looked as me sadly.
"How was it? How do you feel about him?" She asked me hesitantly and I coughed awkwardly.
"I don't know, I don't really have anything to compare it to. It was okay I guess, a little...personal and more intimate than I thought it would be but it wasn't a bad feeling. And I don't know how I feel about him. Every time I try to understand him or tell him it wasn't his fault that all of this happened, he shuts down and becomes mean and nasty. He can be kind and caring and even though he goes overboard with being possessive and controlling I think its just because he doesn't want to lose his new friend." I said thoughtfully and nodded to myself satisfied by my deduction and analyses of him.
"I...don't understand it. I can't tell you anything about the details, but the curse should have been lifted by now. He had done something none of us expected and cared about another person's wellbeing, and you obviously care about him enough to try and talk to him and help him...but then why are we still like this? Did the enchantress lie to us? Was there really no hope for us after all this time?" She asked me dejectedly and she placed her hands on her face mournfully.
"So, he was the one then? He was the one who the curse depended on to be broken?" I asked and she struggled to answer me.
"Yes and no...I just don't understand it. All of us are sorry, all of us have changed! We want to be good, we really do, we're trying. I doubt we can live honest lives, but we won't be like we were before, doesn't that mean anything?" She asked herself hopelessly.
"When you were cursed, did the enchantress tell you who it was that your fates depended on?" I asked her, hoping for a name.
"Not exactly, but she said it was the most heartless of us, the one with a soul blacker than pitch. None of us filled that calibre apart from Jellal. We all had some redeemable qualities except for him. It could only be him." She said surely. I bit my lip and looked at her sadly.
"No. I've only known the lot of you for under a week, but I can tell he isn't anything like that. He doesn't try and he is comfortable being the bad guy, but he isn't bad. Nothing about him is that bad," I said and she watched me eagerly as I walked closer to the dresser and took a seat to look directly into her eyes. "Angel, are you willing to do something difficult, something bad, for the right reasons? I could be wrong, but I don't think I am. I'm scared to tell you what I think because he didn't believe me...but are you willing to listen to me with an open mind?"
She nodded. She looked at me hopefully as if I had all the answers in the world.
"Jellal was a kind boy, he did everything he could to look after everyone, even as a yakuza boss, he always had his loved one's best interests at heart. Sure, he was ruthless and cruel, but who made him that way? Who made you all that way? The people around you? No, none of you let them affect you until someone found you and began teaching you and poisoning your minds. You were just innocent children," I said sadly and looked down at the beautiful brush that now belonged to me. "You told me Brains son was stolen by the yakuza to fulfil a debt he owed to them, and I'm telling you that that is a lie. It all makes sense. Even...Yukino being taken. I'm telling you this now as your friend and someone who cares about you."
I didn't know how to tell her what I needed to. It was heart breaking enough watching Jellal deny it last night, saying he was just as bad if not worse, and hitting me to try and make himself feel bad again.
"Angel, how did Brain know so much about the yakuza? He taught you all about them, he knew every place they hid their stash, their guns, everything. Who whispered ideas into Jellal's ear to become the new boss, who helped him organise the take over? I can't prove anything, and I really hope you forgive me for what I'm about to tell you. But Brain is the bad man who hasn't changed, not Jellal. Brain raped, violated, killed and defiled the enchantress's daughter, not Jellal. I don't know how Midnight ended up with the lot of you, maybe it was an accident, maybe not, but I know that Brain has been using all of you right from the start. How much of a part did he have in sending Yukino where she had been abducted? Millianna? Kagura? He knew. Either he planned it or he had part in what happened somehow. Wouldn't it make sense to get rid of the problem of loyalty? Your sister, Hoteye's brother, Kagura, and if I'm right, Simon figured out what was going on and that it why he was killed. The way things worked out, you didn't have blood family to care for anymore, you're your gang family, which made your loyalties and bitterness to the world grow. None of you even thought about him being the reason behind all of this even though his actions were what caused this to happen," I said and she looked more and more horrified as I continued to speak. "Has he changed, Angel? If you never realised what he was really doing before, how evil he must be to have damned you all and put the blame on Jellal, someone who loved you all unconditionally and practically sold his soul to give you all a better life, do you really think Brain has changed? He looks at me strangely and yes, while you all do scare me a bit, I'm not small minded enough to judge outer appearances. There is just something wrong with him. Angel...please believe me, I- "I said and then as if from everywhere I heard her scream. The castle shook and the mirrors in my room and the bathroom shattered, as well as the windows. I screamed in fright and jumped back just in time to avoid being impaled by glass.
"Angel! Angel? Are you okay? I'm sorry, I'm so sorry...I shouldn't have said anything. Please forget I said anything." I begged and shouted into the air.
"Angel? Are you okay? Please answer me, I'm scared." I said shakily and the walls themselves moaned in anguish. If anyone wanted to see a genuine haunted house, this castle would be it.
A mantra echoed from each shard of glass no matter how big or how small. She muttered, 'I'll kill him, I'll make him pay!', over and over again in low whispers that mixed together until it sounded like an ominous whisper in the wind.
"Angel, he can't die now...you know that. I'm guessing he got everything he wanted, money, an organisation and even immortality and fear. He doesn't want to change, he can't die." I said sadly. The house shook with a mixture of moans of anguish and screams of both terror and fury.
I wondered where everyone was. The castle was literally falling apart and no one had come to check on their prisoner. What if they already left? That would mean I was alone with only Brain, Meredy and Lucy. Lucy was in no condition to leave her bed, Meredy was needed in the infirmary, and Brain...if he knew everyone else had gone...he could be anywhere.
I remembered how he had looked at me and promised to see me again. I remembered how he licked his lips as if he wanted to eat me.
"Angel, I'm scared. Do you know where Brain is right now? Can you take me to the infirmary please? I don't want to be alone." I pleaded and the walls shivered in misery and grief.
My door opened and for a moment my heart froze in terror as I imagined Brain overhearing our discussion and coming in to kill me or worse.
But no, it was a moaning, trembling suit of armor.
"Don't worry Angel, I'll find a way to save you, I promise. Just trust me okay?" I asked her and placed my hand over the suit of armors gauntlet. It nodded but didn't say a word as it led me to the infirmary.