(Varoe's POV)
Since it is already about your Comeback time, I will await something much bigger from you.
Well if you can at least get to 50% of my level that is.
See you there <3
I let my phone slip into my bag ignoring that annoying girl's message.
"Wow your face looks even scarier than usual, what is wrong?", our leader asked me.
"That Varoe girl is getting on my nerves. She thinks I am joking around or something!", I exclaimed and she smiled at me.
Ah yes, smile, smile.
I smiled and pitched my voice up.
"Like Unnie, that girl is provoking me to give my best."
"Isn't that what you actually should do?", She tilted her head and eyed me with suspicion.
"Of course, but I don't need someone at my back for that I have my goal in mind!"
I will do it for him. I will meet him for sure!
"Comeback is drawing closer. The melody for our song is almost done about the lyrics", she stared at me intensely.
I hate to admit it but since that day she seemed a lot more busy.
Her, Minho and Tak haven't been around for a while.
This Comeback has to be perfect since that traitor left us behind.
But I don't care it won't change my goal.
It won't change that we will continue.
"You have been quite busy", Zeya joined us as we walked to our studio.
Not really our studio, it's a hassle to walk all the way to have place to practice at.
"Negotiations have been made my dear members", she said proudly with cocky smile and stole a glance at us.
"Come on spit it out!", I hissed and she gave me an intimidating stare.
"Sorry Ma'am", I stuttered.
Scary woman.
P-love joined as well, silently walking along but it seems like she already heard everything.
An even more scary woman approached!
"Darling if you start then pull it through until the end. They can know it as well", the scary woman said something useful.
"Sure why not. I mean P-love had the idea anyways so if she permits it", K shrugged and turned to us whispering lowly.
"The lyrics were written by P-love and Minho. Minho and Tak played a big role to make sure they will be used of course not showing that it was our idea. I don't know how the president will react or realize but I hope they will approve", K smirked.
"I told you it is all about connections", Zeya gave me that one look I hated most.
The 'I-told-you' -look.
Now I am curious what the idea behind that was.
There must be a good reason to go through all that trouble.
I nodded and looked over to P-love who silently smiled the whole time.
She must be used to fake smiles.
My muscles already hurt.
We arrived at studio, entering very eagerly and greeting the people who were already there.
The usual ones, actually those METRO guys.
But something was off.
Clide avoided confronting us, ignored us.
And the rest of them ignored us as well.
They turned their backs to us slowly starting little small talks between each other.
Only Yoo-jung dared to come over and greet us back but he as off as well.
He scratched his head and searched for someone.
"Is Mina not here?", he asked.
"She will arrive shortly", K nodded over and he sighed.
Then he beamed at us.
"To be honest I am happy to see you guys", his eyes were literally shining.
"Even when Mina is not around?", P-love smiled while her voice sounded like she was suspecting him.
"I wouldn't have come over if it was all about Mina, right? Aske the Maknae I got her out of a big hitch once!"
"You didn't", I glared at him and shook his head.
"I meant Makii oh well, there is no point when she is not around to testify the big heart of Yoo-jung. Have a nice practice guys!", K stopped him before he could go.
He calls her leader too, why does he have such a big affinity towards them?
Strange guy.
She pulled him over and talked with him from eye to eye while he seemed to scratch his head and explain something while he pointed over to the others.
When K came back she told us we should warm up already.
At some point the other part of RisingStar joined us as well.
"Makii is it true that Yoo-jung helped you out once?", Zeya asked out of curiosity.
She was contemplating for a while and then nodded eagerly.
"Yes, he actually did after all the time he caused us trouble", she looked over to Mina who nodded.
"I was scolded so many times by Tak but he is my snack dealer. I can't get on his bad side you know? My lips are tight", she clasped her hands over her mouth.
That girl and her relations are still a big question mark overall.
"He got scolded in the end and Joon-woon was pulled in as well. By the way, where is he?", she searched for him but he wasn't there.
"Yoo-jung said he was in a meeting", K overheard our conversation.
"I see. Since they say he never misses training even when he is sick I was a bit worried", she looked over and we all did just to get judging glances.
"Something is off", Makii said immediately.
K sighed and went over to Clide who at first wanted to ignore her.
Rude!
But she insisted on a talk.
We didn't want to bother them by staring so we kept on learning the new steps but at some point the argument caused us to all stare.
"How could you possibly not know? That is not true what you are saying", he said with a calm voice but in an angry manner.
"I told you and you are saying I am lying? What are you implying?", K put her hands on her hips.
Things are about to escalate when she does that...
"You can't be telling me you didn't know", and when they realized we were all watching he went silent and whispered something to K.
Then he made a motion that implied we should all get back to practice.
This atmosphere was weird.
It was so tense, like little sparks were all over the air between us and them.
Especially K seemed to lack focus at practice.
The problem was it went on the next day and the day after.
Even for a whole week or two, I couldn't count the days anymore since it already felt everything went into the wrong direction a long time ago.
Another argument started we didn't even try to cover our ears anymore.
"Honestly K, you can't be telling me you went to that Comeback show without knowing Canon was there joining Troubles after all the things they did to you and Ten. Wait maybe it makes sense now. Maybe you guys were with them from the whole beginning causing them to infiltrate our band and make Ten vanish?
Maybe it is that? How did you get the tickets otherwise?", he crossed his arms and this time openly told her he was suspecting us.
"He can't be for real!", I wanted to go over and tell him what I thought about that accusation of his especially that he directed something like that to K, one of our honest and reliable leader.
But Mina and P-love held me back and shook their head.
"You can't be serious...", I muttered sadly as I stared at K who shivered from anger but had a calm and composed voice.
A stoic expression almost like an iron fortress.
RisingStar's iron fortress...
Why am I that emotional anyways?
Why do I care?
Yoo-jung approached Clide.
"I think we are done for today, leader. Let's get going", he smiled at him and usually it worked but this time Clide slapped Yoo-jung's hand away.
Honestly only Joon-woon and Yoo-jung acted like they always do around us and don't avoid us.
The others held me back since it seemed like I was again about to head there.
But Minho gave us the tickets!
It was Minho.
And then I realized.
Nobody knows that Minho is our choreograph...
Nobody knows he is close to us and we can't tell them that.
They wouldn't believe it anyways when we tell them
"Clide, just forget it. I am not wasting any more time to explain this to you. I have a band to care for. I have people I trust and who trust me. You are not part of that anymore."
K grabbed her bag and went out.
Clide's eyes widened in surprise but he tried to shrug it off.
"Get back to practice", he told his members and stared intensely at Yoo-jung.
"That goes especially for you."
Yoo-jung without a word returned to his position and we went back to the company.
Since renovations started Minho always showed us the steps at the company and then we headed off for practice at the studio and at the end of the day we would show him our progress.
That was only able through J-monster's and K's effort, and their passion for it.
Memorizing choreography was like memorizing the price for your favourite dish for them.
They sure are talented I feel stuck.
When we entered the big building I asked the others: "What is the big deal about Clide and K? I don't get it, you are all overreacting!"
Everyone stopped and turned around.
Edo scoffed and went on.
P-love gave me a daring expression.
J-monster seemed annoyed and about to explode she excused herself.
Makii and Mina stared at each other and smiled at me softly.
"I guess you can't possibly know that", one of them said and the other nodded.
They told the others to go ahead and now we were alone in the hallway.
Beside Zeya she was as curious as me and seemed not understand as well.
"You know for them to argue in that way and for Clide to show emotions, it is pretty new. Something quite rare", Mina started and Makii looked around.
"Honestly we shouldn't talk about this since we were prohibited to talk about our time before RisingStar was formed, this RisingStar", I knew they were a band before and it seemed weird they never actually talked specifically about any other stuff than their school time or habits.
"But it only seemed fair to tell at least a bit. To not judge either K or Clide", Makii patted my shoulder and I couldn't comprehend the situation.
They are still defending Clide, even though he said those things.
I am so mad.
Nothing would change the fact what he said.
I only know it seems like those TROUBLES guys are no good news to either METRO or us.
But still, he can't talk like that to K.
"She is our leader, no matter what the circumstances are he shouldn't dare to talk to her like that", it slipped out of me.
"You seem to have become quite chummy with all of them", I heard Zeya whisper to me as low as possible without any of them noticing.
Wha-
"Of course it is unfair that he judged her so easily but you have to know, METRO lost a member through some reasons. One of the main reason was TROUBLES and in the past it wasn't only METRO who were basically infiltrated by them. K is aware of that fact and Clide is aware that she is aware", Mina was the first one to explain.
Makii made weird circles with her index-finger when she continued.
"Both of them are leaders and even before this RisingStar existed they always were together. For us it seemed like they only could exchange their complaints about being a leader to each other. They shared the same passion for dancing. Both of them seemed more lively especially Clide was someone who is really stoic. They match each other perfectly the perfect Synchronisation in dancing and thoughts."
"We were pretty close with METRO. Everyone. Clide and K became something like good friends. I think both of them went through a lot. They have this big burden called being a leader. For you it may seem like nothing special but the more you look at it the bigger the boulder gets that lasts on their shoulders", Makii tried to form a boulder with her hands.
Boulder... I never realized that until now.
The only thing I cared for before Canon left was to reach my goal no matter what.
But I never thought that my goal was part of a big boulder on K's shoulders.
"I kind of understand a bit more now", Zeya looked like she was deep in thought and felt bad.
"Get back", we heard a deep and angry voice behind us.
As we turned around it was Baek Tak with crossed arms.
He especially frowned at Makii and Mina who instantly listened to him.
"Those kind of words, they aren't made for your ears", he said to me and Zeya while he passed by and walked on.
Not for our ears...
-- - -
On the next day those thoughts still swirled in my head.
Not for our ears.
K and Clide.
Not this RisingStar but the one before.
I feel so left out of all of this.
What role do we play anyway?
I mean maybe I had an egoistic goal to start with but why do I feel like it has to be here.
I stared over to K who had a wild discussion with Mina and Makii while the other were watching amused by it.
She was serious but at the same time she couldn't hold back smiling because especially Makii seemed eager about something and Mina tried to stay neutral.
Zeya wasn't there.
"In midst of this whole chaos, look at them smiling and laughing peacefully like nothing happened", she muttered next to and I caught her staring in their direction.
"Isn't it rather surprising how they could act like that right now", she played with her thumbs.
"I think it is nice", it slipped out of me and Zeya didn't seem to understand.
"They seem so close like nothing could bring them down", I tried to explain without knowing what I was talking about.
"Want to fetch a drink?", She told me and I nodded, looking back a last time to see Makii shaking K in order to convince her and then I followed her to the vending machine a floor higher in the hallway.
I let the coin slip in.
I wonder if Zeya even bothers to think about that stuff.
Maybe it is just me and only me.
"Are you going to stare at it the whole day?", she moved next to me, took my drink and let another coin slip in as she took hers.
She handed mine over.
"To be honest I feel a bit out of place there", that intense stare and the slightly bored but sad look on her face was a sign of relief.
"I see you think the same then", I sighed and sat down on the bench next to her.
"It's not only now. I think like if we were alone would we handle the situation? They seem like they could. I don't know why but they look like nothing would really bother them on the other hand you experienced the fight in the wardrobe", with a loud sound she opened her can and started to sip on it.
"You know what bothers me even more? That no one is giving a damn about how we feel", I muttered.
"You mean that we are only the new members? I think they integrated us pretty well", she sighed," a bit too well for my taste."
"No. I meant we as in RisingStar", I played with my can.
"Oh, so you are already in midst of it", she smiled," I still need some time I guess."
"Don't get me wrong I still have my own goal I want to fulfil but-"
"But they cared a little bit too much about us when they didn't need to, am I right?", she played with the metal on the top of her can.
On that day K read me like an open book.
She knew instantly that I wanted to go there and she took it in her own hands when she didn't need to.
She hugged me so tightly, patted me.
I felt like that everything was about to break down before it even began but there they stood.
Me in the arm of the leader surrounded by my team.
"Do you remember what you said at the interview? About talent is not enough but that the important thing is the team?", my hands shivered.
If something like that happened to me, if I had to go through all this stress, pressure and negative feelings alone would I have managed it?
If it wasn't for Makii and P-love who were my roommates and cheered me up that night, could I have even slept for more than an hour?
They told me to trust them and made funny remarks about habits they used to do.
About the different weird hobbies of each member which made me curious what I actually know about them.
Maybe I should have tried to understand all of them...
Maybe that's why Canon-
"I think I get it now. And to be honest no matter how much it pains me I think we should at least try to find an excuse for Canon for the time being", my can dropped and rolled over until they stopped in front of three pairs of shoes.
"Look, look. It's the chicken duo of RisingStar", the more energetic one of the twins picked up the can and stared at us.
Chicken?!
"Pyon pyon", the calmer one muttered.
The one called Chase who looked even angrier and scarier than J-monster took the can and threw it in my lap.
"We may be newcomers but it doesn't mean you can call us that", Zeya got up and threw her empty can in the trash.
"It is obvious that people like you aren't trustworthy. Maybe that is the reason that is all happening and Clide has to bear all the burden that you guys are pushing on him", that Chase guy grumbled.
"Clide and burden?! And we are pushing it?", I got up and almost yelled.
"Come on little chicken calm down", Kite smirked mischievously.
"Time to shut it", the other one said.
"You didn't even think about K once. You are not knowing anything and-", I started but Chase cut me off coming closer.
"Listen up twerp, you just proved with your words about Canon that you are all in. Who would try to find an excuse for someone who really betrayed you? She is in another band and you guys are supporting that idea. You played buddies and made Clide drop his guard. Guess what? I am not like him, I am not the soft side", he was so intimidating I could barely look up.
"An ignorant being like you could never comprehend the truth. That little narrow-minded brain of yours is not able to see beyond your own perspective", Zeya crossed her arms.
"Oh yeah? Seems like something a traitor would say when he is pushed to edge?", Kite asked his brother and he nodded.
"Lies over lies coated with lies."
"You freaking idiots don't know a thing! That damn Clide doesn't know a thing! He is a loser who can't get a grip on his feelings and nothing more. He will never reach K's level!", it slipped out of and suddenly my throat started to hurt.
Someone has to say it.
"You didn't just say that?", he grabbed me by my collar.
"What if? Do you want to punch me?", I slapped him and he backed off.
"Chase would never actually punch he only threatens", Kite said nonchalantly.
"But you slapped him which makes you a criminal", the other one added.
Suddenly I heard K's voice.
"Stop right now!"
Everyone gathered and a big discussion started.
J-monster scolded Chase and he even got more mad when it came to her.
K was asking the twins and Yoo-jung tried his best to cheer everyone up, but P-love rejected his idea with a cold face.
I personally kept interfering with K's interrogation.
"Those two and the other one started this."
"But she got violent and slapped Chase", he pointed at Chase's cheek.
Clide take a closer look and clapped his hands in order for everyone to calm down.
He gathered his members and sent them off.
So easily, he could have done this earlier.
"Seems like you can't handle the team you trust so much at all", he stared at her intensely.
K was speechless.
She couldn't bring out a word.
"Go away you loser, don't let it on K", I hissed and she put a hand on my shoulder.
"Stop Varoe. Don't butt in", she glared at me.
"Varoe was threatened by your member. She defended herself. I think you should start in your own rows", her voice was never so cold before.
"You sure trust anything people tell you maybe that's why I can't trust you anymore either", he muttered and had a nonchalant expression before he went downstairs.
"K-", I wanted to explain everything but she shook her head.
"I think you did enough today, didn't you? There is nothing more to explain", she went back to the others and calmed them down.
But I wanted to help!
"Don't worry it will work out", Makii said and Mina nodded.
And I saw the expression on their faces.
The hope that their words would come true.
- --
We had our usual meeting with Tak at the presentation room.
Usually he would explain the statistics, a PR plan for the next weeks, the schedule for the following weeks and so on.
But today he didn't start with that.
He was sitting in front of us, his hands clenched resting on the table while he seemed to focus.
"I talked with the producer of METRO and it seems not only I realized that the atmosphere around you guys is getting worse and worse", he sighed.
Nobody commented that, it was a clear fact that no one could deny.
Tak didn't expect an answer either.
"He told me that his band is really rebellious lately, especially since the Canon incident. They requested to change the lyrics of their song so shortly before their comeback. The producer is going crazy but it seems like through someone Yoo-jung knows they are able to do so. I assume those boys have pretty useful connections", he eyed K.
"Expect the worst. On top of that you have to attend the event to not let any suspicious rumours start, no other rumours. If it turns out that RisingStar now starts fighting with one of the top rank boybands then you can probably imagine what will happen. No whatever you imagine, imagine something worse. Thankfully the producer of their company is one of my close friends and pretty scared of my mother, we can at least count on him since he doesn't want any more trouble after the Ten incident either."
Talking about connections you got some yourself, huh?
On top of that who wouldn't be scared of that woman.
But who is Ten?
"If you say we should attend the event then we will. There is no excuse or reason for us not to attend", K said firmly and held Tak's stare.
He nodded proudly and smiled.
"I never even doubted that you would say anything else, K", then he stared at P-love, Edo and J-monster.
"There was just a little suspicion that those people would interfere with your decision making", and then he stared at me, "and that one."
Wow that was really rude!
"People who do injustice should feel it. It is unfair to bear it all the time", P-love exclaimed in a serious and angry voice, her expression strong.
Tak unclenched his hands and lied them flat on the table, staring at her.
"Sadly, you entered a place full of injustice and you have to cope with it. If everyone would stand up and start to play a hero then the world would have been a mess all along. There are people who have to play the villain in order to let balance sink in", he explained calmly and P-love was staring daggers at him.
"How about we talk about our world perspective another time and start the actual meeting?", J-monster meddled in before their staring war would go any further.
"You are right", he nodded and gave P-love a last annoyed glance before he started the real meeting.
As we were making our way back to the studio I heard familiar voices from an alley.
Wait is that-
"Go on, I need to tie my shoe", I crouched down and pretended to tie my shoe as they went on.
I slowly made my way to the container in front of the alley entrance and peeked in.
"Come on say it again if you dare", that smile was and hair peeking out of his hood.
This voice clearly belonged to that punk Yoo-jung.
"When I made a joke that you belong to the mafia it was actually true?", Chase had crossed his arms and took a safe distance from Yoo-jung.
Yoo-jung picked another guy up, much bigger and muscular than he was and smiled sweetly.
"I am not with the mafia. I am only a young boy. Now dare to call Mina cute again?", he raised his fist and the guy shivered.
"N-No, I-I am sorry I didn't know she was your girl when I talked about her", he stuttered in utter fear and Yoo-jung threw him against the wall with ease.
"I better not mess with you I guess", Chase muttered and held his fist in front of his mouth.
Yoo-jung rubbed his hands and clapped off the dirt of his hood.
"Sheesh, he just overdid it. I mean talking about Mina and showing photos to his friends as if she was his wife or something. Look at this disgusting guy, he probably is in his late twenties", how could Yoo-jung say it with such a cute voice and a face like that.
I better not mess with him.
"Let's get going before they see us", Chase said and I heard footsteps.
As fast as I could I ran after the girls and pretended that I never saw anything.
I don't know a thing anymore.
Chase looks like a criminal but the actual criminal is Yoo-jung?
We entered the studio and again a discussion over Canon that we overheard on their side.
But suddenly even Edo started.
"I am going to be honest with you. I still work with the twins, it is a business relationship. But either way I don't trust Canon. As long as there is no way for me to research myself this will be my opinion. I left it in the hands of the twins to continue the research about her."
"Still there is no clue I guess", K silently whispered.
"Don't worry we will know soon", Mina tried to comfort us.
"Yes, probably she will even tell us herself!", Makii added and we heard another discussion going on the other side about Ten and betrayal and something else.
P-love seemed very angry.
"Trust me forgot about her", then she looked at K and K suddenly understood.
They are hiding something else...
"We will ask her, this can't go on. I don't know how but-", Mina got cut off by K.
"Stop. Enough. She caused us so much trouble and sorrow. So much pain in such a short time. What will happen if we still cling to her? Do you think we will be able to fully go on like this? Forget about her for now. I prohibit any topic about Canon, meeting and contacting her as well. She is not a part of our life anymore. She made that decision herself", she declared in a solid and serious voice.
Like a commander taking care of her soldiers...
"But K this-"
"No! I will bring her back when it comes to it. When there is a reason and the right time. But not now. We have to focus on other things", she especially glanced at me and Zeya.
"Other people need us right now", when she said that my heart almost pained me.
Finally.
As training ended like usual we packed our things to head out when Clide passed by and whispered:
"See you at the comeback-show K, enjoy the show."
And then he went off just like that.
Everyone passed by only Joon-woon cared to say his farewell to us.
"Mina don't hate me too okay?", Yoo-jung asked her.
"I don't hate anybody", she muttered smiling.
He smiled back at her as double as wide as she did and seemed very happy until he passed by as well.
I got goose bumps.
That guy is a freaking monster in form of a young man.
"Let's go, don't hear them out", K muttered.
--- -
Another comeback show.
Lately just thinking about those made me shiver and anxious since the last one.
We had to actually greet and smile at METRO.
Pretending like we would talk.
Clide had a stoic expression which was basically like a smile for him.
"Listen, it would be bad for both our companies. I won't accept it either way. We should pretend since people would be suspecting us", he whispered.
"The chicken duo", Kite smiled at me and I smiled back.
"The failed paste-copy version of the other one", I laughed at him and he laughed back.
"That one was actually good", but suddenly his eyes turned into a hateful glance.
"But try it again for your own benefit", the other one said.
Scary, if they are just another kind of Yoo-jung then—
"Wassup' Var-no", Yoo-jung greeted me and I flinched.
"Wow that reaction is new", he laughed and went back searching for Makii and Mina.
This guy gives me the creeps.
After some mixed exchanges with fake smiles and fake compliments we went back to our seat.
"Must be my lucky day", I heard a voice next to me.
Probably just someone who-
"Varoe look at me when I talk to you", it was Varoe who peeked into my face.
Damn that can't be true, can it?
"I see a loser like you actually got a seat next to me?", I scoffed and crossed my legs.
She giggled and took the seat next to me.
Get lost don't sit next to me.
"Wow did you just read my mind? Amazing! Wait now it's my turn. 'Why is she sitting next to me?'", I opened my eyes in surprise.
That girl is good at what she does.
"Come on, it was obvious. Let's have some fun today. Let's pretend like we could actually have normal conversation", she leaned over and stared at me with those eyes.
I got flustered.
"Well, I am good at pretending", I crossed my arms.
"I know that is why I asked you. I assume we are not very different", she started to babble on.
Suddenly I realized we had a lot in common.
The competition over the years never gave me a chance to get to know her better.
"Back then it was different", I muttered and she giggled.
"Well yesterday was yesterday and today is today. There is always a difference", somehow in her words I could tell she knew something she shouldn't know.