We stood under the blustery trees in each other's embrace with leaves fluttering around us, completely unaware of our surroundings. I looked into his eyes and felt my heart rate increase. His face is as calm as ever but he wore a dreamy expression as his arms snaked around my waist, drawing me firmly to him, while his hand stroked my hair. His lip parted slightly and his eyes locked into mine. His eyes look as if he could not believe what he is seeing; me locked in his cold embrace. He gripped the back of my head a little more forcefully and tilted his face down to mine. His lips met mine ever so slowly.
I felt his cold lip piercings on my warm lips like dry ice cutting into my skin.
And I pushed him away forcefully from me and turned on my heel to run.
His calm and just-now-dreamy expression snapped into shock and confusion as I whirled around and ran away. Bad choice.
I had completely forgotten that I just fell down from a slope and my leg is in agony for my ankle is terribly sprained. Being in his cold embrace seemed to make me unconscious of any physical pain.
I fell face down on the grass and sprawled on all fours in an awkward position. So much for running away.
I heard footsteps behind me and sighed.
"I never realised that you like to eat grass. What does it taste like?"
My face was hot with humiliation as he picked me up to a standing position and scrunitised my face. "Hmmm you look much more like a kitten now. Very... scratchy."
I lifted a hand to my face but he stopped me. "Don't touch it, " he said, "It's bleeding."
I gasped and immediately wanted to touch my face but he pushed my hand away. He turned around and picked me up to his back and gave me a piggyback. I felt as if I'm two times taller on him.
"Hey!" I protested indignantly. I can manage on my own perfectly!
"Stop moving around and be quiet."
"I-!"
"No." he said, cutting off my protest.
"But-"
"No."
"You-!"
"No."
There was an awful finality even in his calm voice that I shut up immediately. The sky had already turned into night and streetlamps in this path was scarce. I knew how dangerous it is to walk alone here, let alone at night, and somehow my fear of Uta had diminished and I felt safer with him, if ever so slightly.
We were silence the whole journey home except for the time he asked me whether I was cold. I said no.
I leaned comfortably against his back and nuzzled his neck. He turned slightly but did not stopped me.
"What does it says?" I ran a finger lightly on the tattoo on his neck.
"'I can live neither with you, nor without you.'"
"Oh.." my curiousity prickled. "Who is it? " I asked.
"Do you really want to know? "
"Yes, dope."
"People like you."
Now I was affronted. "What is that supposed to mean?"
He did not reply me and leave me to my thoughts. Part of me felt that the answer was human. Part of their food chain they can't live without and they can't live with them, too.
We reached my apartment and he unlocked the door with my key I handed him and set me down on a chair in the kitchen. After locking the door, he boiled some water in the kettle and dissapeared into the toilet.
I sat on my chair like the good kitten he said I was and observed him quietly. It was unnerving to see him bustling about in my kitchen. He returned with a hand towel and a basin.
He sat in front of me with a basin of hot water. I eyed it warily. Uta smiled ."This is going to sting a little. Nothing my little kitten wouldn't enjoy."
He wringed the wet and steamy towel and reached for my face to which I quickly back away. This went on for a few moments until Mr. Calm became not so calm. He hold my head by placing a cold hand on my neck and leaned forward. I felt trapped by him and shuddered, pressing against the wall trying to flatten myself. I wriggled uncomfortably but his grip was too strong.
"Nngggghh!" I whimpered.
He pressed the hot towel at the wound on my face.
"Ouch!"
"Shhhh... You are such a little kitten." he dipped the towel into the basin. "That wasn't even a deep cut. It was just a scratch. "
I winced as he tended to my wounds, yet he was suprisingly tender and gentle with his long fingers. I felt a blush creeping to my face and tried to look away, but his hand held me in place. I was impossibly aware of how his fingers felt on my face; I was tingling in anticipation of his touch. I caught his eye and panicked, but he got up and walked away.
The S.H.A.D.O.W men words rang in my head.
Monsters.
Yet the men in front of me did not act like one, if looks doesn't count.
When he appeared with some cotton buds and antiseptic, part of me wondered how he knew where I put my stuff.
"It's not exactly as if you were hiding it. It was pretty easy to find." he said, as if reading my mind.
I cleared my throat.
"Uta-san..."
I really don't know which is the best way to confess."...I know."
He came sat across me silently and watched me without a word.
I swallowed and start again. "I know what you know... That I know what you knew I know."
Uta did not replied me instantly but started applying antiseptic on my face with the cotton bud.
"You know what I knew knew knew that you knew?" he laughed silently.
Somehow this conversation is not going the way I wanted.
I try not to wince as he worked on my face, contemplating in silence whether he got what I meant and was just pulling my leg, or he really had no idea what I was talking about.
And then he broke the silence.
"I knew that you know I'm a ghoul."