March 2020
Melo
I'm back on my bullshit. I guess some things really don't change. I'm sorry to burst anyone's bubble, but when I want pussy, I'm gonna get it. Doesn't matter who's giving it.
"You're just not gonna stop, are you?" Gelo shook his head.
"Not until I get what I want." I shrug.
"Which is an ass whooping that's well deserved, yes."
"No."
He rolls his eyes.
"When will you learn?" He asked.
"I don't know what you're talking about." I pop a grape into my mouth.
I go to eat another one but he smacks it out of my hand. I glare at him but he only glared back at me.
"You're fucking everything that moves, for what? What are you trying to prove Melo?"
"That I don't need a woman to keep me satisfied."
"That's a goddamn lie." He said. "There are ways to go about this."
"Such as?" I ask.
"Actually being involved with someone and treating them right."
I roll my eyes. "As if I need advice from you or Zo."
"Yet we're some of the most qualified people to tell you that shit, ain't we?"
"Zo has a whole kid with somebody who wants nothing but to control his life." I exclaim. "I don't want that."
"But you want to control someone else's life though, right? Because you think that's cool." He said.
I purse my lips and exhale through my nose. I often wonder what they gain from arguing with me. Is it closure? Ego? What?
"I never said anything about wanting to control anyone's life." I narrow my eyes at him.
"So what would you describe this entire Jordan situation as?" He asked.
"It's just a chase."
He rolls his eyes. "This is not that, at all."
"How are you telling me?" I ask.
"That's what it may seem like to you, but to her, it's stalking. You're deliberately going out of your way to sabotage her relationship and finding ways to get close to her when she doesn't want you there." He said. "You still wanna call that a chase?"
"I don't need this shit." I mumble.
"What shit? I know you're tired of me and Zo getting on your ass about this, and trust me we're tired too, but you have to stop this shit now Melo. Right now." He exclaims. "Nothing good is coming out of this."
"Pops always tells us to go after the things we want." I say. "How is this any different?"
"She's not an object Melo. She is a person. A person who is justified in feeling the way she feels about someone." He said. "From the looks of it, she hates you. Yet you can't seem to understand that. There is no light at the end of that tunnel bro. Just stop."
"I can't."
"Yes you can, you just won't. That's not fair to her."
I sigh. "Life is not fair Gelo."
He face palms himself. "Haven't you put her through enough? There is nothing left to fight for bro."
"And that's where you're wrong Gelo." I shake my head. "There's so much to fight for. I promise you that."
If only he knew.
*****
I chew on the inside of my cheeks, before knocking on the apartment door with the number 624 on it. Then I wait until someone answers it. I feel nothing but relief when it's Jordan that does.
"Oh my god." She groans, starting to close the door.
"Can we talk Jay?" I ask.
She narrows her eyes at me.
"Please?" I plead.
She gives me a once over, before rolling her eyes and opening the door. I walk in, standing aside as she closes the door behind me.
"You can sit on the couch." She said, walking to the kitchen.
I take a seat on the couch, waiting for her to return patiently. When she does, it's with two water bottles. She hands me one and I thank her.
"You're welcome." She mumbles, sitting next to me with her leg tucked under her.
We sit in an awkward silence, me drumming my fingers along the side of the bottle and her actually drinking from hers. I take a deep breath and speak first to start off the conversation.
"I'm sorry." I look over at her. "For everything."
She doesn't look at me, but I know she's listening.
"I put you through so much and it just wasn't fair to you." I exclaim. "You deserve the world and so much more. I know you saw so much in me from your point of view, and I'm so sorry I didn't live up to that."
I lick my lips, looking down at the bottle in between my legs now.
"You're the only person I know who loves as hard as every breath they take. Your heart is as big as the universe, combined with all of the others." I fiddle with the cap of the bottle. "I didn't realize how much I loved you until I no longer had you."
I frown. "I see the way you look at him, and how happy he makes you. And I really envy that shit. Because I had the chance to be that same guy, but I blew it. So many times."
I hear her sniffle and it pains me.
"You moved to Chino at a time where I was still trying to find myself. Even though I put you through what I did, you still had faith in me. You believed in me. You trusted me." I pull my top lip between my teeth and let it go. "You made me better despite my ignorance. I don't know how I could ever repay you for that."
She sniffles again. I clear my throat.
"I'm not usually the type to get emotional, let alone talk about how I'm feeling. Ever." I say, looking up at the wall. "But you made me realize that there's nothing to be afraid of when you're doing what you love, and you're surrounded by people who love you. Who want nothing but the best for you."
"And for so long, you wanted that for me. You put your own happiness aside to accommodate me. And I treated you like shit."
Silence comes over us again. I glanced around the living room before looking back down.
"I never deserved your love. You were a sign sent to me from God, and I completely disregarded you. But it must truly mean something if I can't stay away from you."
More silence consumes us and I sigh. She's not going to say anything. But she doesn't have to. She said so much to me in the three years I've known her, and now I hear it. I hear it all.
When nothing is said, I purse my lips. I pat her knee, getting ready to stand up. What I don't expect is for her to place her hand over mine. I look down at her with furrowed brows.
"I just watched you age three years in five minutes." Her voice cracks as she looks up at me with watery eyes. "And I have never been more proud of you."
I give a small smile. "That's because someone had quite a bit of an influence on my life."
She stands up, keeping her eyes locked on mine. "Did you mean it?"
I search her eyes, nodding. "Every word."
She looked like she wanted to say something else, but didn't. Or maybe she couldn't. I wouldn't know, I'm not an expert at this kind of thing.
Then she does the unthinkable. She places her hands on my shoulders and pulls me down, kissing me. I kiss her back without hesitation, but I can't let her do this.
I pull away, resting my forehead against hers as the both of us breathe heavily.
"We can't do this." I say reluctantly.
"Please?" She places her hands on the back of my neck. "I need this."
I shake my head. "This is not the way to do it Jordan. I promise you it's not."
She looks up at me. "I just wanna feel you."
I briefly close my eyes, opening them to see her looking at me still. I go to say something else, but she connects her lips to mine again. I could taste the salt from her tears. I could also feel everything she's feeling.
Why does she do this to me? How does she do it?
The kiss gets more intense. At this point, I don't even bother to stop it. Instead, I pick her up and carry her into her room.
*****
Jordan and I lay curled up in her sheets. We were both staring up at the ceiling. The fingers on my left hand massaged her arm gently. She had her head on my shoulder as my other arm was wrapped around her. There's a comfortable silence between us this time, and I like it.
"How do you feel?" I break the silence.
I watch as she smiles, rubbing my chest gently. "Good."
I nod. I had just made love to the love of my life, and I never felt more better. Being with her is the best thing to have happened to me in a while. I really wouldn't have it any other way.
"How about you?" She asked in turn.
"Never been better." I grin.
I look down at her, pushing some hair behind her ear. She looks at me and I kiss her forehead. She curls into me some more and I accept it. I lay my cheek on top of her head.
"I wish I knew what the next step was." She mumbled, drawing on my chest with her finger.
I sigh. "I don't know either."
Then she groans, covering her face. "I really messed up."
This is what I feared. We would get put into this difficult situation where neither of us knew what to do next. But it's not entirely her fault that this happened.
"I wish I could contribute to this in someway. Any way." I say, pursing my lips.
She looks up at me and I look down at her.
"I'm sorry to put you in this difficult situation." I apologize.
She places her hand on my cheek. "I'd do it again."
"Would you though?" I ask, above a whisper. I grip her hand in mine, rubbing the skin with my thumb.
"Of course." She replied.
I kiss the palm of her hand, watching her smile. Then I let her hand go and she traces my lips with her thumb. She sits up on her elbow, looking down at me as she bites her bottom lip.
"If I could replay this entire moment again, I would." She searched my eyes.
I grin, accepting her lips when she moves down to kiss me again. I moan into her mouth, continuing to kiss her hungrily. I lay her down, moving to kiss her neck.
She moans in my ear as I get ready to enter her again. She gasps when I do, wrapping an arm under mine and the other around my waist. I grip onto the edge of the bed tightly, slipping into her tight walls with ease.
I breathe into her neck as I thrust into her slowly. She continues gasping and moaning, dragging her nails along my spinal cord.
"Melo." She moans.
That made me even harder, aching to release. Her gasps were the icing on the cake. I picked up the speed a little, listening to her moans get louder.
I reconnect my lips to hers, biting her lower lip when I feel her tighten around me. Each thrust gets harder with each of her moans. She starts thrashing beneath me, and that's when I know she's close to cumming.
"Melo! Melo!" Her nails dig into my skin.
She whimpers then goes quiet. Her body rocks from under me. And as it does, I twitch within her.
"Oh fuck!" I grunt, my grip on the bedsheets tightening as I release my flow. My hips buck into hers, giving her everything.
Once I was drained clean, I pull out. The sound of our heavy breathing was all you could hear right now. I wrap my arm around her, pulling her into me. I kiss her sweaty forehead, then lay my cheek on top of her head again.
"We'll figure it out Jay." I kiss her forehead again, leaving my lips there. "I promise we will."
How? I don't know. But we will. I know we will.
Book 2 in the works 👀.