clementine
"I'll tell you one, though, they really liked the song," Luke says, a grin clear through the tone of his voice. "I was sitting by the piano, like, right before we were about to play Lie To Me, and I had to wait for Mike to tune his guitar right. So I just played the start of Lover of Mine, you know, the piano intro, and I swear to you, the fans went crazy," He drags out the last word and laughs.
I look up from my laptop in front of me to my phone, a smile lifting my lips. "When this album will be out, they'll feel like absolute clowns," I muse at the thought of them realising he played it before they even knew it was anything they'd hear in the future, like a clue or a hint of a sort.
Luke laughs at the idea and brushes it off. "What are you doing now?" He asks, his sheets shuffling and muffling his voice a bit.
I sigh, sinking into the couch as I close my eyes. "Finding an apartment," I respond, hearing him move again to hear me clearly. "Something decently sized, at a good location, and not too expensive,"
"Why?"
I shrug and look back at my laptop, the white light starting to irritate my eyes. "The promotion I agreed to needs me to work there," I scroll through the lists of apartments, none of them satisfying me in any sense.
There's always something wrong with ones I think might be for me. One flat was decently priced and looked pretty good but was situated an hour away from my workplace; another was thirty minutes away from the studio but cost way too much for practically a miniature sized studio flat, and one flat just straight up had red stains on the floor, which made me think someone might've died there.
I haven't actually gone through the troubles and stresses of finding a flat of my own since I found the one I'm living in now all from connections. I knew Cameron, Cameron knew Mara, and it was as easy as that.
Now that I'm actually doing it, I feel like I'm growing up for the first time, like I'm seventeen again and learning what things I'd be doing or learning as an "adult".
"You know, you never actually explained the promotion situation," Luke chimed in, interrupting my thoughts with his statement. "You just said you accepted a promotion and that was it. You didn't say you had to move,"
I bit down on my lip and nodded, furrowed brows and tired eyes looking at my phone as if Luke's face is there. "Yeah... I contemplated not accepting it, but I ultimately decided this could be good for me. Plus the pay, there's not a lot of hard stuff to overcome besides moving away and... being by myself for once,"
The terrifying thought of being alone returns to me but I shake it off and continue scrolling through the apartments. "LA seems so intimidating, but I'm sure it isn't. It's just the same as how some people think of New York as an intimidating city," I pout, leaning my head on my cramping hand. "But I imagine if I just -"
"Wait, LA?" Luke interrupts, his voice suddenly louder and attentive. "You're moving to LA?"
I nod. "Mhm, your favourite cesspool of artists," I snort, snickering to myself. "No, but I saw some pieces of the artists from there, and I gotta say, they know what they're doing," I nod approvingly. "But, yes, LA,"
"I live in LA!" He answers
My eyes widen and I stare at my phone. "You do? Why haven't you told me?" I say excitedly, the idea of moving to LA suddenly seeming less frightening as I'd previously thought it would be. Luke would be there, and most probably Ashton, Michael, and Calum.
Sure, two New York co-workers of mine would be there as well working with me, but I never really got to know them that well. All I know is that their names are Jemmy and Mia, they've been in Ackerman a little longer than I have, and they're crazy good at their respective art styles.
Due to our different schedules, the only time we'd see each other is in the waiting area or passing by to get some canvases.
"I don't know, it never really came up," Luke replies. "But this is good, though. I could show you around, get you familiar with the place,"
I smile at the offer. "Thanks, moving would seem a little less lonely now,"
A silence settles between us I hear him quietly talking to Calum, and I continue scrolling through the lists of apartments before seeing a one that catches my eye.
I click on it, reading the details listed under the photos of the apartment.
With each word, I feel my heart lighten, suddenly coming to realise how real this all is.
I click through the photos, seeing beige walls and dark brown hardwood floors. Even a small fireplace which seems to be blocked by bricks from within. There's a kitchen decently sized with white cupboards and mini counter, a bathroom of white and green tiles, and right beside, a bedroom that looks to be around the same size as mine right now.
All in all, the whole apartment is significantly smaller than where I am, but it isn't too small either.
"Luke, Luke, Luke, Luke, Luke!" I say again and again as I read through the price and the many contacts of the landlord. "I found something!" I squeal as each word about the apartment makes it more and more attractive to me.
"Yeah, tell me," Luke replies attentively.
I clear my throat before giddily clapping my hands. "Alright so, one bedroom, one bathroom, a little higher than my budget, but I can make it work. Just five blocks away from the studio, and nobody died in it!"
"Yey!" He laughs along to my excited squeals. "Are you gonna call the agency?"
I grab my phone and write down the landlord's number in my contacts. "Tomorrow. I'm excited!" I scrunch my nose, my grin so wide my cheeks are starting to burn.
"Also, hey, um, I talked to Sierra yesterday," Luke blurts out all of a sudden, and I take a second to process what he says. But once I do, my eyes widen, some sort of fear settling within me.
I shake it off, knowing Luke would never ask for her back as she is already in her own relationship with Sam, he'd never do anything so shitty - but I can't help but feel slightly nervous at the thought. "Oh?"
He clears his throat. "Yeah, and I sort of just apologised for leaving her and her girlfriend so suddenly. It was kinda rude of me to drag you away like that,"
I nod. "What did she say?"
"She said it was alright. She apologised too," He adds. "For leaving for her ex. We settled it, though. I said I'd forgiven her, and she said she's pretty happy with her girlfriend now. Treats her better, I think," He chuckles, and I'm relieved the subject hasn't made him upset.
I'm glad knowing Luke and Sierra are on good terms, and it reminds me of where I'd left off at Aiden. I should probably visit him some time soon.
╳
"Are pets allowed?" I ask, eyeing Darth as he grooms himself on the counter. "I have a cat. He's not loud or anything; very tame, rarely meows, and just sleeps all day,"
Jacob, the forty-year-old landlord on the other line of the call, laughs a deep, hearty laugh, something that reminds me of Santa Claus. "He sounds nice. Yeah, we allow pets as long as they won't disturb the neighbours," He responds, his slight foreign accent making me wonder where he's from.
I punch the air in silence, celebrating. "Oh, okay, cool. So, um, I'll fly out next week to see the place and sign the contract, is that okay?"
Once Jacob ends the call, I take my bag and slip on my shoes, ready to head on to the next part of my day, something that just entirely shakes my nerves like leaves in a tree.
I managed to make some arrangements last night to see Aiden, and knowing how we left and how he was to me made the process much less... enjoyable. Not that asking if you could see someone who's probably headed to prison is somewhat of an enjoyable experience, I'm just saying.
"He's still in the hospital?" Mara asks, looking up from her bowl of cereals and giving me an unsure look. "I'm glad I don't work there," She scoffs and gets up, wrapping me in her arms and pressing a kiss to my cheek. "But be safe, okay? If you need me, just call. I'll be out with Wyatt later,"
I nod, parting from her. "Thanks, I love you. I gotta go," I head to the door and press a kiss on both Darth and Sunny's foreheads before making my way out into the hallway.
Every step that I take from my door to the lift shakes me, rattling the thought of finally being able to see Aiden after what seems like such a long time. It's only been two weeks since I saw and left him in the hospital, but now that I'm headed back to him, I wish it could've been longer, anything to delay.
I get into a cab once I'm outside and I reluctantly tell the driver our destination. When we arrive, I'm faced by the same hospital Aiden's in. It looks no different besides the lack of ambulances on the side, though there are still two police cars.
I make my way in and get up to the floor he was in, taking in a deep breath as the doors opened, welcoming me into a hallway.
Instead of the empty, lonesome hallway it was on Halloween night, this time, there's a policeman by Aiden's door and a woman in a pantsuit sitting across. When she looks up and spots me, she immediately stands up.
Slowly making my way to her, I shake her open hand. "Hey, I'm Clementine," I greet, watching her nod.
"Rebecca Bardot, good to meet you. I'm Mr Lowe's lawyer. He's just in the room," She gestures at the door.
"Do you mind telling me?" I turn to her. "What'll happen to him?"
She sighs, crossing her arms and chewing on the insides of her cheek, "You won't be seeing him for quite some time... he's been convicted of second-degree homicide, vehicular manslaughter," She tells me, watching my face contort to a frown. "He'll be serving jail-time for seven years, less if his behaviour is good,"
Seven years.
I hate hearing it, I really do. As much as I'm starting to pity Aiden, I know it's fair. "God..." I stare at the door, wondering what would be waiting for me behind the door. "Can I get in?"
"Sure," She gives a small nod to the policeman by the door and he steps aside, opening the door for me.
Once I get in, the door closes behind me, leaving me alone with Aiden.
My eyes draw to his figure, sat on the bed with his phone in his hands. When he looks up, he puts it down and sits straighter.
I stay by the door, unsure of what to say.
He looks better, less beat up, though he does have quite a bruise on his cheekbone.
"Where'd you get your lawyer?" I ask, clearing my throat and staying put in my position, furthest away from Aiden.
He shrugs, smiling to himself and looking down at the sheets. "My parents, they also paid to get the process faster,"
I nod. "Ah... will you be okay?" It's a stupid question, but I need the silence to be filled.
He gives me a sigh, leaning back on his pillow and crossing his arms. "Well, I'll be serving for seven years. Revoked my driving license... can't get any better than that," He scratches the cuticle of his thumb, lost in thought.
I take a step towards him and take a seat on the end of the bed, looking over to him as he loses himself within his own mind. "Did you get to talk to Manuel Perea?" I ask, watching him lift his head and give me a disappointed look.
"Yeah, gave me this lovely bruise on my cheek," His lips press into a line before he leans forward and attempts to take my hand in his, but before he can, I draw it away, leaving a slight expression of displeasure on his face. "I - Clementine, I'm sorry,"
It takes me aback, and I stare at him with deer-like eyes. I've never heard him apologise before, more so with a genuine sentiment in his tone.
I'm afraid that an apology won't simply erase a whole year of maltreatment from him, but I understand that he's trying his best.
I stay silent, letting him continue as I process his apology.
He clears his throat and interlaces his fingers with each other. "I'm sorry for treating you the way I did," He says, brows furrowed over the words he says. "I got to think over the weeks, and I don't blame you for running out on me the way you did. I'm sorry for hurting you," He gives me two sad eyes and tries on a smile, failing to look convincing at the slightest bit.
I'd like to say something in return, but besides being too out of words, I don't have anything to say either. I'm torn between holding him in my arms at an attempt for comfort and staying away and letting him wallow in his misery. I don't know if I'd be foolish and naïve for treating him better, or cruel for shunning away his apology.
He picks at a scab on his arm. "I just... I don't know. I hope you and that guy you were with are happy together," He shrugs, and I cock a brow.
He's talking about Luke but I don't know if he means what he says. Aiden's said many things, and it's too often that those things didn't end up being true or being meant.
"I... accept," I reply, hesitating for a second but figuring we could need the closure, turning down what coyness I have and putting up whatever bravery I can gather. I need it now that I face him. "I accept your apology. I'll, at the very least, try to forgive you, but you know I can't forget it," I look at him apologetically, hoping that he doesn't burst into a fit and start demanding that I forgive and forget. If he's willing to apologise, he should know I can't just easily forget a whole year of my life because of it. It's easier to forgive when you remember.
Much to my surprise, he nods, as if he's taking all he can get. "That's okay," He breathes out, words strange and unfamiliar. Everything he's been saying is foreign and strange and I can't even say where to start. "You don't have to forgive me, just know that I'm sorry,"
My brows furrow for a second and I lean away, this time taken aback by how he means what he says. I have half a mind to ignore this and take it as a sign that maybe he's gotten to be a better liar since I last saw him, but maybe he's also genuinely apologising. For now, I'll take the more optimistic choice that he is being sincere and I'm just too guarded right now.
╳╳╳
well,
hold on guys
also i edited the playlist and added
some new songs + sections, and
there's also a spotify code !! which
i'm kinda excited with. it leads to the
playlist over on spotify, though the
account isn't mine, it's my best friend's
since she has spotify premium and
i don't. *broke wallet sounds*