... would it be bad if I said that I changed my mind about this book being two chapters... and that now it's three chapters?
.......
Her eyes drifted through the loud party— the Grammy's after-party.
It was fun, sure, but she couldn't possibly focus on the drunk singers up on the bar, singing their hearts out to a One Direction song, when a certain brunette man was staring right at her.
Her breathing sped up as her eyes gazed over to him.
She knew he was mad again. She knew he would be, considering he had eyes and he regarded the man standing beside her.
If Camila was honest, she didn't want to be here with the guy. She hardly remembered his name all too well, and though he was a winsome guy, she never felt anything with him.
She wanted to be here with Shawn.
Although she couldn't go to him. No, she convinced herself enough to stay away from him. It was arduous, but all she had to do was be diverted just enough.
"Would you like to hang out tomorrow?" She suddenly heard the guy's voice through the speakers that blasted through the entire area.
Camila grimaced.
"I can't," she muttered, pulling up an apologetic look simply because she did feel bad. She fancied the guy enough to spend a night with him, but she didn't want to waste more. "I have to shoot that music video with... Shawn."
Her grimace grew deeper as she remembered that she had to expend more time with Shawn in the following few days.
The thought of filming a music video for the song they had collaborated on was bad enough, but knowing the concept of the video-- which was a sexual idea-- just made matters all worse, especially since she was trying to move on from Shawn. Oh, she was fucked.
Her eyes flitted back to Shawn, who was still staring intently at them. She gulped when she noticed his fingers pressing harshly against the glass of beer he held.
"What if I joined you after shooting?"
As she peered back at the guy, she resisted the urge to roll her eyes.
'He was a nice guy,' she tried reminding herself. 'And I need to distract myself from Shawn.'
She bit down on her lip and smiled meekly. "Fine..."
And so, the night continued, with Camila hanging around awkwardly with her date while Shawn glared daggers into her skull. She almost thought her walls would bust down and she'd fall to his mercy like she usually does, but surprisingly, Camila held herself back from all that as she avoided Shawn at all costs.
Well... she dodged him until she excused herself to go to the bathroom to freshen herself up.
"Camila." She heard her name smoothly rolling off his tongue.
She licked her lips and twisted her neck, her eyes sweeping towards his frame. He looked good, especially up close like he was right at that moment. He had that particular James Dean daydream look in his eye. She would swoon, but she had to hold up her stance.
"What do you want?" She asked bitterly.
"Can't a guy just greet a friend in peace?" He asked, feigning complete innocence, though his eyes spoke something different. She almost let out a snort, finding a little pride spark in her when she noticed those jealous and fiery orbs.
"Well, he can," she whispered, turning her body around completely and leaning against the sink of the bathroom. "But never in a million years would a friendly chatter be the reason for a guy to be present in a girls lavatory." She crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow. "So, I ask once more. What the fuck do you want?"
He stayed silent.
Of course, he did.
"Well?" She asked impatiently, tapping her foot against the porcelain tiles on the floor.
He opened his mouth but closed it, and if she wasn't trying to have the upper hand in this situation, she'd be giggling to no ends because he did look like a fish.
Finally, he snaps, his face twisting in what she would call anger and... confusion, "Are you dating him?"
"What?"
"Are you dating that dickwat?" Shawn repeated lowly, referring to her date, all the while getting closer to Camila and trapping her between himself and the sink.
Camila gasped as his face moved even closer towards hers. Slowly, she felt his hot breath fan across her face, and she gulped, while he reached forward and sunk his teeth into her bottom lip that was painted in red, something he loved on her.
Her breath hitched as his eyes further penetrated hers.
"Why do you care?" She finally shot back, but her voice quivered. She cursed herself for sounding so weak. Still, she couldn't help it, she was turned on by the Canadian singer who would otherwise be a gentleman.
"You didn't answer my question," Shawn mumbled, his nose flaring. Frankly, he too was losing his barrier and was so close to kissing his intoxication. Honestly, if he imagined their kiss, he'd always imagined it a sweet one. First soft, then if she wished so, it would get fervent. But his pride wouldn't allow it. He worked too hard to hide how deep he actually felt about her, she didn't need to know shit about his feelings.
Camila stared into his eyes and held her nose in the air. "And you didn't answer mine."
Shawn let out a low, instinctual growl and slammed his lips into hers, as time stopped in a collision of senses.
Camila almost couldn't believe herself. She swore to herself that this was the furthest thing she had planned to do that night.
But as she let out a throaty moan and pulled him closer.
Even if it was for a moment, she needed his lips on hers. She needed to surrender herself to his kisses, feeling him do the same to her. Because if this is all she could get of him, she will take it.
And to think, if they weren't so toxic towards each other, they had the potential to be great.
Suddenly, a knock on the bathroom door broke them apart. Shawn rested his head against hers, staying still and scorning the consistent thumps.
"No," Camila whispered all of a sudden.
Shawn opened his eyes and tilted his head to the side, giving her a curious expression.
Camila licked her lips and smiled because for once, he had a humane look on his face. She looked into his eyes and fiddled with his thumb, as she whispered ever so quietly. "I'm not dating him."
..........
Camila sat alone in the dressing room.
Her self control was now something she praised herself with.
Being so close to Shawn during the music video shoot without ripping off his tank top was admirable, she had to admit. And typically, she would've pulled him aside, so they'd be alone and do whatever it is that they do.
But she couldn't. It wasn't even her conscience telling her to not have sex with Shawn. It was more to the fact that he had been acting strange all day. He was colder than ever, and his walls were higher than expected.
She felt tears prick her eyes as she drew her knees closer to her chest.
She knew she would never acknowledge it out loud, but she fell in love with him.
It was weird. Shawn wasn't right for her. Most of the times, he hardly treated her right. He was just a jealous and overprotective prick.
But she'd never forgotten that one time...
He was sweet. And he was caring.
It was one of those times where he dropped his arrogant character.
It was the most fun she had in years. It felt even better than their sexual encounters. It felt real.
He was laughing a genuine, hearty laugh. She was giggling along to a joke he made. They kissed, but it was slow and prolonged. He held her hand close to his heart while she used her other hand to play with his hair. They weren't even paying regard to the movie, having been so immersed in the other. Though it wasn't sexual. Nothing was sexual.
It was pure.
It was different.
A knock drew her out of her thoughts.
She glanced at the door, only for a moment to regain her senses, but by then, a voice called out from the other side.
"Camila, I'm here."
She sighed.
It was her date from last night. She hardly knew his name, feeling abashed about it still.
She took a deep breath and put on a sufficient endeavour of a friendly smile as she moved up to the door.
But before she could do more, she was engulfed in a hug so tight, she found it hard to breathe. "Hi," she croaked out, chuckling.
'He was affectionate,' she thought in her head.
Suddenly, she saw a movement through the corner of her eye.
Shawn walked out of his own dressing room, his phone held up to his ear. He looked as though he was talking indifferently to someone on the other line when he halted in his steps, and his eyes widened, freezing imperceptibly.
Camila gulped.
His eyes made contact with hers, and she couldn't move. Her breathing was laboured too. His gaze averted from her eyes and onto the fact that she was in another's arms.
"Actually, fuck that. I'll pick you up at 10," Shawn muttered rather loudly into the phone. Camila narrowed her eyes. His voice drops as he says the next part. "And don't forget to wear that skirt."
Now, it was her green-eyed monster that decided to peek out.
She felt the bile rise in her throat while she watched him make plans with another girl. As she's let go of the embrace she was in, she gaped at Shawn with a look of disbelief, but he cut off their eye contact and walked away as if he never even saw her.
She felt a sneer creep onto her lips, her face turning red, and her heart was pounding like the relentless waves against the crumbling cliffs.
But she couldn't do anything about it. If she did, they'd just be the same. She would be just as overprotective and jealous as Shawn. Not that she wasn't, though, she just didn't want to come into terms with it.
Still, she was the same as him.
She gets just as covetous as him, if not more. Only he acts on his jealousy, while she bottles hers-- at least, tries to.
"Camila?" Her "date" waves his hand in front of her face, eyebrows rose up in confusion as to why she was blanked out.
Camila gasped as tears illuminated her eyes, almost like jewels. But she couldn't cry. Not yet, at least. She looked up at the man in front of her, and with a deep, shuddering breath, she whispered, "Could we go some other time? I don't feel too good."
Luckily, the man was understanding, and Camila kept thinking why couldn't she like him instead of Shawn. He was much sweeter and much kinder, and he treated her with more respect. But she knew why she fancied Shawn more than anyone.
She and Shawn were similar. She hated the fact that he wasn't wholly hers just as much as he hated the fact that she wasn't entirely his. She loved the feeling of riling him up to the point that all he could think about was her and only her, the same way he loved it too. Birds of a feather do flock together, just as they loved being with each other and hated that they couldn't ultimately be with each other.
And she couldn't deny her feelings any longer. There would never be anyone else who makes her feel like the way Shawn makes her feel.
But as her mind strayed to the fact that he would be going in another woman's arms, she felt like a stranger in a familiar land as she let the electric tears crash.
It was too late.