Consciousness came back in waves. After an immeasurable amount of time which felt like it could have been either one second or one year, I registered faint popping sounds. The sound of apparation. After the first few sounded, the room burst into chaos. I tried to force myself to open my eyes, to move, to do something so I could protect myself, but I was stuck.
"Draco, stop!" I heard someone yell. It sounded like Harry.
Streams of spells followed. Expelliarmus, Impedimenta, Stupefy. I even heard the killing curse shouted by an unfamiliar voice and I silently hoped it didn't hit anyone I loved. I heard the voice of Hermione and Ron among the crowd and later heard Matthews and Collins.
I was finally able to slowly open my eyes and I squinted against the bursts of light. I saw a figure run towards me and I braced myself but as they bent in front of me I recognized them. Hermione.
"Y/N, are you okay?" she asked frantically, noticing the state I was in, "Relashio." After she spoke that word, I suddenly felt a release. I remembered I had been bound to a chair and I let myself fall forward into Hermione's arms. She comforted me, holding me close to her.
"Everything is okay. We found you. Everything is okay," she whispered as the battle continued around us. She uttered a few defensive spells every so often but I tried to focus on recollecting myself. It felt like there was a huge empty space in my brain and I had a terrible headache. I tried to list out what I remembered last. I had been at Hermione and Ron's house until I got a letter from Billingsgate. What did it say? I couldn't remember, but it made me come here. I remember most of what he said, why he had done what he did but parts were missing. I was brought out of my focus when the room became completely silent.
"How did this happen right under my nose?" I heard an exasperated voice. I forced my eyes to open a bit and recognized Shacklebolt standing in the middle of the room, next to Harry and Ron. They were surrounded by many unconscious bodies. I smiled weakly when I recognized Billingsgate sprawled across the floor. I closed my eyes again, trying to regain strength.
"You couldn't have known. He was very secretive with what he did, and he covered his tracks well," Harry explained. I tried to sit up, groaning with the effort. I heard footsteps quickly approach us and heard someone crouch beside me and Hermione.
"Is she okay?" I heard a scared voice ask.
"I think she will be, she's just very disoriented from the spell," Hermione replied quietly. I suddenly felt myself shifting, Hermione leaned me over to lay in this new person's arms.
"Y/N? Y/N, love, can you hear me?" I heard the boy whisper.
"Y-yes," I tried my hardest to reply. When I opened my eyes, a boy was leaning over me, his eyes full of concern. I realized that I recognized this boy, except he looks so much different from the last time I saw him. Of course, he was much taller but he also looked a bit skinnier. His eyes were darker with either lack of sleep or stress, and they were glistening with tears. The pale blue eyes and the light blonde hair were the same from when he introduced himself to me all those years ago, on platform 9 3/4.
"Draco?" I ask, confused, and his lips turn up in a smile.
"Yes! I'm here, I'm so sorry," he says, pulling me into his chest. I keep still in his arms. Why was he hugging me? I glanced at Hermione, hoping she would take me from him but she doesn't seem confused at his behavior towards me.
"Hermione, can you help me up?" I ask, turning away from Draco and leaning towards her. Being in his arms felt weird and unfamiliar. He was basically a stranger. She threw Draco a concerned glance but she immediately holds onto me and helps me get to my feet. I stumble a bit but find the strength to keep myself upright. The fog that clouded my mind before was starting to recede and I felt more in control, my thoughts were becoming clearer. I glanced back at where Draco stood and the smile he had before had completely disappeared. He was staring at me, his eyebrows pulled together in pain. He looked broken but I couldn't understand why. I decided not to worry about it, I needed to see how my friends were. I walked with Hermione to Harry, Ron, Matthews, and Collins. They were all okay, standing together as a group of Aurors rounded up all the subdued wizards. Some began to wake up and fight against their restraints but it was no use. I went up to Harry and threw my arms around him.
"You all saved me. How did you find me?" I asked, turning to hug Ron, Matthews, and Collins.
"The ring! You were brilliant, Y/N! It led us straight to you!" Ron said and I raised an eyebrow.
"What ring?" I ask and Harry and Ron look at each other.
"It must've been the spell Malfoy did..." I barely heard Harry whisper to Ron. I was about to ask what they were talking about but I heard frustrated grunts behind me. I turned and saw Billingsgate sitting upright, struggling against the same type of ropes he had used on me. Shacklebolt was towering over him with rage but I notice Billingsgate is staring straight at me. I walk over, slowly, and crouch in front of him with a smile.
"You lost, like I said you would," I tell him and he scowls. I relish in the victory over him. It didn't go as planned, but we stopped him. It was over.
"I suppose now you can celebrate my failure with Malfoy," Billingsgate says in an odd tone as if he was testing me.
"Why would I do that?" I ask, taken aback by his weird statement. When he registers the confusion on my face his face pulls up in a sinister smile and he laughs maniacally. He throws his head back and the laugh echoes through the room. I grimace at the sound and take a step back.
"You two! Find that he makes it to Azkaban!" Shacklebolt orders some Aurors behind us and I watch as they take Billingsgate away, him laughing all the while. When I head back to Harry, Ron, and Hermione I pick up the quiet conversation they were having.
"There's nothing that can be done. You can't recover memories after being obliviated. It's impossible," Hermione said sadly.
"What are we going to tell her?" Ron asks but they notice me walking to them and they immediately stop the conversation. I get a sick feeling that everyone knows something I don't. I look around the room to find Draco but he's not here anymore. I thought maybe I could ask him why he looked so concerned about me, why he seemed so upset, but if he was gone maybe it wasn't so important.
"What's going to happen to the ones who were imperioed or are bound by the unbreakable vow?" I ask when I notice that they are all oddly silent.
"The Ministry will take care of it, you don't have to worry about that," Harry says and I frown.
"I'm in the Ministry, too, I want to know that they'll be okay," I say and he sighs.
"Well, we'll have to investigate to make sure those who claim to be imperioed actually were. The unbreakable vows will be more difficult, they'll have to find a way to live with it safely," he says and I feel a stab of guilt. The Unbreakable Vow would remain with those people until they or Billingsgate dies. Hermione notices my expression and grabs my hand.
"But the hard part is over. No one else will die now," she says, giving me an encouraging smile. I sigh, taking in the relief. I look around at them all. Harry, Hermione, Ron, Matthews, Collins. Everyone I care about is okay.
"I suppose you're right," I pause and then laugh a bit, "It's actually over." The rest smile too, all feeling as relieved as me.
"Yes, it really is. And I think we should get you home so you can rest, you're probably exhausted," Hermione suggests and I suddenly become aware of the fatigue creeping up on me.
"I think so, too," I laugh and watch as they start disapparating but I stay there for a moment. I have a feeling that I was missing someone, but I don't know who. With a last look around, I disapparate, too.
Two months later.
Life clicked into place after the Billingsgate incident. Ron and Hermione got married and it was a beautiful ceremony although Ron had gotten a little too drunk beforehand. Matthews and Collins got closer afterward as well, appreciating each other a bit more. To Matthews' surprise, Collins felt the same away and they were happy together. I was content with how my life was going, too. Shacklebolt spoke to me not too long after what happened and asked me to assume the position of Head of Committee and I eagerly accepted. All the muggleborns were able to leave Hogwarts and go back home, their lives normal again. Everything was going well in life, except I was never able to shake the feeling of missing something.
Today, I was sitting in my office, looking through my notes. Some genius jinxed a muggle and we had to work with the Obliviators to handle the problem. I got up from my desk and started walking towards Fudgel's office to ask about their progress. Once I got to the Obliviator HQ I stopped in my tracks when I saw Draco at his desk. The memory of how hurt he looked that day comes to mind and I feel a bit guilty we haven't talked then. I should have thanked him for being so concerned for me, at least. I walk over to him and he looks up from his work, his eyes widening in surprise.
"Hi, Draco," I say and he smiles.
"Hello," he replies and I feel an instant wave of comfort, and talking to him feels natural.
"We haven't talked since... then," I begin a bit awkwardly, "Have you been doing okay?" He perks up a bit at my question.
"Why do you ask?"
"You seemed really upset that day. I just never figured out why, though," I admit and his face falls a bit.
"Oh... I've been okay," he replies, looking back down at his work.
"Oh, okay. That's good to hear," I say but I can see he's not paying attention to me anymore. I look down at his work and a ring on his hand catches my eye. It was beautiful, a thick silver band with a striking green gemstone. He looks up and notices me staring at his ring and looks at me expectantly. I'm not sure what to say so I excuse myself and go to Fudgel's office, with the odd interaction between me and Draco preoccupying my mind.
After work, I headed to Diagon Alley to meet with Harry and the Weasleys (including Hermione, who was now a Weasley herself). When I reach the front of Weasley's Wizard Wheezes, I pause. I look down the street and my eyes land on the entrance of an alleyway. I feel drawn to it and decide to take a short trip before going to meet with my friends. I walk to the alley and it's dark and empty, a dead end. I walk all the way to the end and look around. There's nothing hidden at the end, it's just empty. Nothing on the walls, nothing on the ground. Why had I been so drawn to this place? I stare at the brick wall and I suddenly imagine myself walking through. It felt like a memory but I'm not sure I've ever been here before. Is it possible to walk through a wall? I step forward and start lifting my hand to touch the brick, but I stop myself. It was just a silly thought, to walk through a wall. I turn back and head back to Weasley's Wizard Wheezes.
That night I had a confusing dream. I dreamt of stars, a beautiful view of constellations in the sky. I recognized that I was at the Astronomy Tower at Hogwarts and it felt familiar. I timed the memory to when I had asked McGonagall for permission to bring the muggles to Hogwarts and this memory seemed to fill a gap in my timeline. The weirdest part was that I wasn't alone in the tower. The person was blurry at first but, slowly, he came into clarity. Draco was there, smiling at me. I woke up at that moment with an ache in my heart. Suddenly my new, empty flat felt so lonely. Why was I feeling this way over a dream? Why had I even dreamt of Draco in the first place? I had only talked to him briefly today. I turned over in my bed and couldn't get much sleep for the rest of the night.
In the morning, I went straight to Hermione's house. Ron was gone with Harry for business so I was comfortable with talking to her alone. I knocked on her door.
"Oh! Hey, Y/N, come in," she says happily when she opens the door.
"Hi, Hermione," I say nervously as I walk in. I think she notices the tone of my voice and she gestures me to the table. She pours me a cup of tea and sits in front of me, waiting for me to speak.
"I need to ask you something, Hermione, and I need you to tell me immediately if you think I'm crazy," I say and she nods, letting me continue.
"Did something bad happen to me that day Billingsgate was stopped? At the Death Chamber?" I ask.
"Yes," she replies with no hesitation.
"And it has something to do with Draco," I say, more of a statement than a question. Hermione takes a sip of tea while she thinks.
"Y/N, I'm going to tell you what happened but you have to try to remain calm. We originally agreed that we wouldn't distress you with the information but... it seems that some of it is coming back to you," she says and I grip my cup anxiously. She sighs.
"That day, Billingsgate imperioed Draco to erase your memory of certain details. Specifically, of your relationship with him," she pauses to assess my reaction but I sit, frozen, "You were together for months. You met at the Ministry when you first started there and you grew closer to him from then on. He was the reason you were at the Death Chamber in the first place. Because-"
"Because Billingsgate told me he would kill him. I was scared to lose him," I finished, shocked. The memory rushed back into my mind. The fear I felt when I read the letter. I heard an echo of a memory. An I love you in Draco's voice before he was forced to obliviate me. A tear slides down my cheek as the memory clicks in my mind.
"When we found you at the Ministry we hoped that the Obliviate spell didn't work. Harry was able to stop Draco part-way through the process but... when you woke up we realized we were probably too late. You didn't recognize him at all," she said sadly. I remembered how I had uncomfortably leaned away from Draco and hurt he had looked. A felt a stab of guilt.
"Why didn't you tell me?" I ask.
"We didn't think it'd do any good and honestly, we were scared. Obliviated memories can't be recovered, ever. If we just told you that you had months worth of memories erased, we don't know how you'd cope. Draco, especially, was scared that you might not have been able to handle it," she said and I nodded.
"If parts of memories are coming back... do you think they could all come back, one day?" I ask hopefully but Hermione gives me a sad smile.
"No, I don't think they will. I think, when Draco did the memory charm, he was fighting against the Imperius curse, and that's why you have small pieces left over. But the ones that are gone will be gone forever," she explains. I sit at the table, deep in thought. It took two months for the small memories to come back, maybe I just needed more time. I realized that my feeling towards the alley at Diagon Alley wasn't just a feeling, after all, it was a memory. I stood up abruptly.
"I think I need to go see him," I say and she smiles.
"I think so, too," she replies and I start walking out but I stop, turning back around.
"Can I use your owl?" I ask excitedly and she laughs.
"Yes, of course," she says and I take notepad and pen from a drawer.
Meet me at Diagon Alley, down the dead-end alley. I think I remember there is something beyond the wall.
- Y/N
I quickly scribble the note and put it in the owl's beak, sending it off as soon as possible.
"Thank you, Hermione," I say and she smiles at me before I disapparate.
I end up in front of the empty brick wall again, but this time I feel confident. I stick my hand out and it goes through the wall as if it was merely smoke. My heart pounds in my chest with excitement and I step through.
I had only remembered being able to go through the wall, but not what lied behind it. When it comes into view I stare in wonder at the beautiful little pocket of nature in the middle of Diagon Alley. A big oak tree towards the middle of the grass-covered space. There was even a small pond. I walk to the tree and sit under it, looking all around. It was so beautiful, I wonder how many time's I've been here in the past. I suddenly hear a sound and my head turns in its direction. Draco is standing there and his eyes widen at the sight of me. His eyes are soft as he slowly steps towards me and I give him an inviting smile. He sits beside me under the tree and looks into my eyes.
"I had a dream last night. I was at the Astronomy Tower and you were there. Did that really happen?" I ask.
"Yes it did," he replies and I nod.
"And Billingsgate was going to kill you?" I ask and he nods. I told down at the ring on his finger, the one I noticed the last time I saw him. Its gemstone glittered in the sunlight. He let out a little laugh.
"Do you like it?" he asks and I blush.
"It's pretty. I just have a feeling I've seen it before, was it important for us once?" I ask and he twists it off his finger, holding it between his forefinger and thumb.
"It was yours," he says matter-of-factly and I laugh.
"I didn't know I would have owned something so... expensive," I say and he laughs again.
"I had given it to you that day at the Astronomy Tower," he says then hesitatingly holds his hand out to me. I slowly put my hand in his and he slides the ring on my finger. The cool metal on my skin is comforting, familiar.
"You really loved me once, didn't you?" I ask, awestruck.
"I still do," he admits and I look up into his eyes. I feel my heart flutter at his confession and I try to wrap my head around it. I felt something for him. I would say it was love, but how could you love someone with who you have no memories with? Is it possible that the feelings remained even though my memories were taken? That my heart remembers although my brain doesn't?
"And I think I really loved you, too," I say quietly.
"I think you did, too," he says sadly, his hand lingering on mine, "He ruined it for us, didn't he?" I can hear the pain in his voice and it's like I can feel the same pain as him. It was painful to know that my memories were stolen, but I couldn't imagine what it was like for him. He remembered everything, and that must be a different kind of pain.
I stay silent, trying to think it all through. I couldn't explain the feelings I have towards Draco, because there are no memories to back them up, but they're undeniably there. Sitting here with him now felt as comfortable as sitting with someone I've known for a long time. We must have been through a lot if I was once willing to die for him. There must have been a reason I had been deeply in love with him. If I had fallen in love with him once, couldn't I do it again?
"No," I say and Draco looks up, raising his eyebrow, "No, I don't think he ruined it." Draco's eyes light up and he sits up, waiting for me to explain.
"We could... try again. Now that he's gone, maybe, we can have all the time we need to try again. I don't think I'll ever get my memories back... but we can make more. If you'd like," I say shyly and he smiles at me. A wide smile, teeth and all. He looks happy enough to kiss me and I blush at the thought. Surely, we had kissed sometime in those months we had been together.
"Yes, I would like that very much. When do we start?" he asks, leaning back against the tree. He looks excited, carefree and I giggle.
"Now would be good," I say, lying back next to him. He looks at me with the love that I had missed for two whole months. My heart swells for the beautiful boy beside me. I think it's going to be worth starting all over for him. Nothing could stop us from making new memories now.
I lied back and stared into Draco's cool, grey eyes as he told me a story that started with us.
[Note: Stay tuned for an epilogue and an announcement! :) ]