No.
How did they? Of course, they would eventually. Yes, they would eventually. Everything that is lost will be found, eventually. It could take days, months, decades, or centuries. But why did they have to find his body now?
I know Detective West and Arkham were supposed to be my allies, but they were starting to look like my enemies.
Alexander's corpse was found. It was rotting under something, rotting somewhere—I don't know where, and I couldn't imagine going to see it. I wasn't afraid of dead bodies, or gore, or anything, but to see what I potentially did frightened me. No. I didn't do it. There was no proof I did it. My eyes were watering as I held the phone against my face. I had to play the crying wife, but I don't think I was playing anymore. Elijah was silent on his end and so was I except for the soft whimpering of my cries.
Noah held me closer now. His hand was still touching me, but he removed it when I gently shrugged him off.
"I-I... I don't know what to say." I sat down on the couch. Noah stood up with his arms crossed, his eyebrows furrowed as he watched me talk to Elijah.
"I'm sorry, Eva," Elijah softly spoke. "I'm so sorry."
"Who... Who could've done something like this? Where was he?" I whispered. My hand gripped the phone hard as I brought my knees to my chest.
They found Alexander's body. The words continue to run around in my head. They would find a lead. Was I crying because Alexander's death was true? Or was I crying because now, they'll have a lead to his case? And everything will lead up to me. Me. Whether I did it or not, I didn't want to risk the chances of being thrown in jail. I don't even know why I am crying! But I don't want to know. My tears were a mystery, and they should remain a mystery.
Because I don't want to witness myself become a monster.
"His body was found in a small forest in Cleveland, which is strange. They buried it and placed a dead squirrel on top but they were skeptical about the scent."
That was weird. Cleveland? That was not me. I did not kill Alexander. I did not bury Alexander. I did not recall that. I was not part of that plan.
"I'll give you some time," Elijah said. "If you want to have a week off, that'll be fine. You're the boss. I'll take care of everything."
"N-No... That's your friend as well—your close friend," I sniffed. "I can't talk right now. I'm sorry."
"No worries, take care."
"Thank you for informing me."
The phone hangs up and I remain crying. I felt Noah's embrace and I sunk my face into Noah's chest. My body continued to shake as I sobbed into the soft material of his hoodie. He rubbed circles against my back in silence. I was hyperventilating, my body was warm but shaking. I felt a lack of connection with reality. I felt my body spiral into an abyss but my brain was fighting for dominance. My body was not going to shut down on me. Although my heart was palpitating, and the fear continued to rise, I leaned away from Noah.
No. I had to catch my breath. I had to think.
Alexander's body was found all the way in Cleveland. I don't remember burying his body at all. It was impossible for me to do that. My heart was hammering against my chest. Questions were floating, roaming in the hallway of my mind. I continued to cry but now, my brain was functioning again. Noah was still holding me but silent. I was sure his brain was functioning as well. He must've heard our entire conversation.
I know I didn't leave the house. I know for a fact that I didn't leave the house. Unless I was a great sleepwalker and flew on Alexander's jet to Cleveland to bury him, there was just no way it was my doing. Because of this confirmation, I was afraid. I asked myself questions. Who killed him then? Who made me think I killed him?
A better question to ask was, who buried him? And why?
"I think you just had a small anxiety attack," Noah said. His voice was sweet to me. I melted under his touch and levitated to the sound of his voice. "Are you okay now?"
I sniffed. Noah passed me a tissue and I took it. After wiping my eyes and blowing my nose, I looked at him. "Yes. I'm... fine."
"Did you kill him, Eva? You need to tell me before it's too late," Noah bluntly said. His eyes pierced mine and I immediately stood up at his sudden statement.
"What?" I was taken aback.
"I don't have to repeat myself. Did you murder Alexander or not? Tell me before—"
"I didn't kill him!"
He sighed. "Yeah like saying that constantly is going to make me believe you."
Anger shot through the roof of my head. I gritted my teeth as Noah stood up to tower over me. I didn't know what his game was. I didn't know why he said what he said. I didn't know how quickly he could switch up his behaviour. Noah was accusing me again. "Why are you doing this to me? Did you play along with me so you can get information on Alex's death? Are you just stringing me along? Are you a fucking spy?"
"No, I'm not. When I told you that I wanted to be in a relationship with you, I meant it," he responded calmly. "There was no manipulation involved. I'm asking if you... got rid of him... because I just want you to be honest with me."
I raised an eyebrow. "And then what?"
"So I have permission to help you and make this work!" Noah exclaimed in exasperation.
I grabbed my purse. "I'm done."
"Eva, wait." Noah grabbed my arm. "Eva, please! I didn't mean to hurt you."
"I know." I shrugged his hand off, put on my heels, and turned around. "My brain is wonky, my heart is beating, I'm in no condition to be speaking with you right now. I need to go home, take a shower, cry some more, and wallow in my pain for just a few more days."
Noah held out his hand in front of me. His eyes were still dark, studying me, but there was a gentleness to his gesture. I placed my hand on his. My hands were shaking. My eyes were still watery. The acidic waters of my misery burnt the skin of my cheeks.
He took another step forward as I looked up at him. While continuing to make eye contact, Noah pulled me in. His arm grabbed my waist, pulling my back against his front. I shouldn't have lost it with him. I need to understand him. Noah was concerned. Noah was worried, that was it. I didn't have to lash out at him. I couldn't blame myself. I couldn't. I didn't need someone accusing me of murdering my husband right now. As he hugged me from behind, his chin rested on my shoulder.
"Please talk to me when you have the chance. You know I'm here for you."
"I do."
The elevator opens, and I walk in.
Noah's driver is there. His driver greets me, formally again, and doesn't speak for the entire ride. He didn't even bring up Alexander. Either he knew and didn't bring it up, or he didn't know at all.
I texted Priya, and she responded.
She wasn't home.
My second option was the coffee shop Ben raved about. I craved their pastries. I told the driver to drop me off at Café Mably, explaining to him that Ben would do the rest. "Thank you." I got out of the car and walked into the shop. After making a small phone call for Ben to pick me up, I ordered my food and waited by the side. There were a few people sitting down, but no one looked at me. The cashiers greeted me and looked at me as if it was a regular day. Either they knew and acted as if they didn't know, or they didn't know at all.
My head was spinning and I held the counter to keep myself balanced. I blinked a couple of times and pinched my skin. I wasn't dreaming. This was reality. My husband is dead, the police will come for me soon, and my reputation and my job might vanish into thin air. I was a great magician. A tragic magician. A sad magician. And now, I was grieving. No matter how badly Alexander treated me that night, he still didn't deserve death. We could've gone our separate ways. I obviously wasn't the one for him. That was fine for me. If only he could've told me directly, to my face, then everything would've been smooth sailing. Now, everything was just a bumpy road and I held onto dear life.
It didn't take long for Ben to arrive.
By the look on Ben's face, I already knew he had heard the news. He turned around to look at me with a sympathetic look that I hated to see from anyone around me. For a split second, I almost forgot that I was crying. The only thing that gave it away was the redness in my eyes.
"Mrs. Harrington... I'm so sorry," Ben said. I cringe when he said that. "How are you feeling?"
"Not good. I got you coffee and a pastry as well..." I almost broke down in tears when I passed him his food. My voice cracked at the end.
Ben cleared his throat and gave me a small smile. "Thank you, you didn't have to." He gently took what I bought him. He placed the still-warm pastry in the compartment near the gear shift and took a sip from the hot coffee before placing it in the cup holder. I took a deep inhale and straightened my back. "I want to go home."
Ben nodded and turned around. "Do you want to talk about it?"
"No," I responded quickly.
No questions asked, he began driving and our car ride was silent.
During the car ride, I debated whether to eat one of the pastries I bought now or go home and eat it. It'll get cold and I like them hot and fresh. However, I wasn't really in the mood to eat so I took two bites, placed the paper bag aside, and watched the slow raindrops fall on my window. The rain started to pour and my eyes started to droop; lower and lower, my eyelids were starting to feel heavy. I tried to stay awake but the day was just too tiring for me. Already, the sky was almost pitch black. The sounds of the cars driving by, the silence between Ben and me, and the sound of raindrops tapping on the car windows, were enough to send me to a different state. I fell asleep on the car ride home, just like in my childhood years. But this time, no one would carry me back into the house.
Soon, I was awakened. Ben said my name twice and I assumed more before that, and I fluttered my eyelids open. Everything that came before this, wasn't just a dream. Alexander was still dead, my heart beat with the thought of the case, and the memory of Noah and I getting into a mini argument. The world still continues to move forward. The world goes on. The world doesn't stop for me, and it will never.
"Ben, thank you," I said, my voice was softer.
He gave me a gentle smile. "Always, Eva. Have a good evening, and get enough sleep. And thanks for the coffee and snack."
When I walked through the door, my staff was already there sitting in the living room waiting for me. The atmosphere was blue, with blue faces, dark blue skies, blue mood, and everything was blue, blue, blue. Alexander's eyes were blue. They were the colour of a calm, tranquil pond but now I can only see a hurricane. A dark, blue hurricane. I should not do poetry.
I kicked off my heels and walked towards them. We stayed in silence for a bit until Joe spoke up. "Ms. Wu, how are you feeling?"
"Terrible," I said with honesty. "He's gone and he's never coming back. What else can I say?"
Alice was the first to hug me. I was standing up with my hands in my face, bawling. The rest followed suit. The staff embraced me. Never did they ever see me like this; never did they ever see me show this much vulnerability and weakness. Alexander was close to receiving the key to my vulnerability, but I was glad he never did because he let me down.
I was strong—strong in front of everyone. The only time I wasn't, was during the entirety of Alexander's case. I still kept my crown up. I still kept my chin up. It was a must for me. I had to, even more than I did before because Alexander's affair broke me, but this broke me more. The waterworks came out. It wasn't even dinner yet; I didn't want to cry on an empty stomach. My staff backed away from me as I gave them a polite smile. It was a smile I tried my best to maintain. What could I do? I couldn't bring back the dead. Alexander was gone. I could only grieve. Even then, I don't even want to grieve over him. I wanted nothing to do with him. I believe when he died, he promised himself to torment me and seek revenge. This was his way of doing it.
"I haven't even eaten yet," I whispered, my body still shaking.
"I was in the middle of preparing dinner," Alice softly spoke to me, as if she was talking to her daughter. She looked at the staff and nodded. "Let's all just... get on with today. This is what she wants."
They disbanded and I was left alone. I took my purse and was planning to eat my pastries, but realized that they weren't with me. My initial thought was that the staff stole it. But my second thought was more pragmatic. My small nap in the car had left me a bit dazed. I left my pastries in the car.
Shit!
After dialing Ben's number, he picked up immediately.
"I left my pastries in the car, can I drive over there and pick it up?" I asked, knowing that I am a grieving, despaired woman and people will be more willing to comply with my needs.
"Sure, that's no problem," Ben said.
Alice questioned me as I walked out, so I gave her four words: Ben has my pastries.
I rushed out the door and hopped into the Tesla. It's been a while since I drove and I don't even know if I was mentally and physically able to drive. However, no one could stop me. No one could get in between a woman and her food.
The rain continues to pour harder as I drive. Dark skies surround the environment, and the classical music playing from the car fills the noise. Erik Satie's Sarabande No. 3 goes well with the rain. I wanted to fall asleep with the auto-pilot mode on, but I knew I couldn't. The GPS continues to speak and I watch the screen to keep me from falling asleep. Every time I think of the phone call from Elijah, my heart beats faster. The same sinking feeling occurs in my heart but I try my best to think positively—which is hard. A stupid spill from my mouth turns into an accidental murder. Little did they know, or if they do, the police's jackpot was me.
Finally, I made it to Ben's house. I've never been in this area so I look around. He lived in a quiet, middle-class neighbourhood and was the only house with tons of flowers. Ben liked gardening, I remembered he mentioned this to me. He used to have a vegetable garden but I'm not sure if he still does. Before I could call Ben, he walked out of the house with a gentle smile on his face.
He thrust the paper bag in front of me. "Here. I kept it warm for you."
"You didn't poison it, right?" I joked.
"No," Ben chuckled. We acted as if nothing had happened. "Now that you've mentioned it, I wish I did."
I gave him a wan smile and took the bag. "Thank you. I'll be going now."
"Stay safe," he said and closed the door.
When I walked back to my car, I noticed the two cars in the driveway. The car Ben drives me in is in the garage, but I couldn't help but observe around Ben's house. I was curious about him. I almost tripped on a rock as I walked on the driveway.
I gulped as I noticed it. My body froze. I turned around to see if Ben was still watching me, but he wasn't.
Ben has a white car. A 2019 Lexus RX 350, just like the car I was searching for.