currents - dashboard confessional
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josephine's pov
I hop on the back of Jax's bike, clinging to his waist as streetlights whip past in a streaking blur. I could tell how tense he was feeling and I couldn't blame him. I was feeling the same way.
"Fuck! That was our one chance to take them out! You just had to grow a conscience, didn't you?" Jax shouts, his fingers gripping the handles of his bike so hard his knuckles were turning white.
"I wasn't going to let you kill people, Jax! You were going too far!" I shout back and he scoffs, shaking his head as he takes a turn, accelerating.
"Not far enough if you ask me." He says, barely audible. Behind us, the sound of sirens fade. "Guess he did it. Hero led them away." Jax adds and I was about to relax a little bit, but then two cop cars come fling off the side streets right in front of us! Jax narrowly weaves between them.
"Jesus! They really don't like that we fought back!" I exclaim, tightening my grip on Jax to keep myself from falling off.
"You think?" Jax guns it, engine roaring. He takes a turns so fast, my knee is inches away from the pavement. "I know how you love the high ground, Josephine. But I did this for the crew. For all of us! Including you!" He shouts and I can't help but feel like this was not really the time to discuss this.
"I know you tried to do the right thing. Jax, you can't save anyone if you destroy yourself in the process! What you wanted t do... there's no coming back from that! That would scar you forever!" I counter and Jax shakes his head.
"You keep talking like there's some line I was crossing, but there's not. Not in the real world. We had one way out, and I took it."
"When did your dad tell you the truth?" I ask and Jax hesitates for a moment as he races down the street.
"After the Grapevine. After I proved myself... it was the first time my pops ever trusted me. The first time he asked for my help." He explains and I let the words sink in, thinking them over for a second.
"But that means-" I start and Jax suddenly pulls into a side street, between the shadows. A few moments later the cop cars drive past, seemingly not having spotted us.
"Yes. It means the Brotherhood could have arrested us all at any moment. If we tried to tip off Internal Affairs, I'd be sitting in a jail cell right now. Whether or not they believed us, we have our own crimes to answer for." Jax says, turning his body so he could look at me off and I pull my eyebrows together.
"Why not just leave?" I ask and Jax makes a sound that almost sounds like a laugh.
"Leave? Abandon my father's crew? My grandfather's? I thought about it. But they threatened you. You still have a college to go to. You had a shot at a happy life... and they said they'd kill you." Jax says and I press my lips together at his words, the intent behind them, how much he seems to care.
"We won't let them get away with this." I say instead.
"It's not that simple. We can't outrun them, we cant turn them in-"
"Then there's only one option left."
"My pop learned the Brotherhood was running the investigation but didn't know their identities. He bought some information from a few contact in the force... and he got one name." Jax starts to explain.
"My dad." I say, matter-of-factly and Jax nods.
"Do you get it now? That's why my pop had Hero win you over." He says and I frown at him.
"Wait, are you saying, you think my father is one of the Brotherhood." I ask him and he sighs.
"I'm saying we didn't know." He says and I start to shake my head.
"Absolutely not! No! It can't be! I'm sure of it!" I say, ready to defend my father immediately. He might be strict, sometimes controlling but he's not a criminal. Especially not in the same way Stephen Shaw seems to be.
"Yeah, well, we were all sure of a lot of things a few hours ago. When I told you there were worse options on the table-" He starts and I cut him off as the pieces come together in my head.
"Tanaka wanted to go after my dad." I say and Jax just stares at me for a moment, a hint of empathy in his dark eyes.
"I wouldn't let that happen. Not until we're sure, and we're not. I'm just warning you... don't trust anyone." He says and I was about to retort something when another police ca drives past us, skidding to a stop. "Shit." Jax exclaims and then he's punching the gas, slipping out of the side street and racing back don the street. The car catches up fast, nearly ramming our rear tire. Jax revs to open up some space.
"We've gotta lose them! Take the alley to the left! The cop car can't fit!" I shout and Jax nods, swerving into an alley, threading between dumpsters, and fire escapes at high speed. I look behind me, where the cruiser is stopped on the street, helpless. "Okay, I think we're-" The moment we emerge from the alley, another cop car almost plows us over. Jax steers out of the way, barely keeping balance as the chase begins anew. The quad car pulls up close aside us, nearly sideswiping us, and Jax's forced to head back the other direction.
"What the fuck? It's like they're trying to kill us. They're not even the Brotherhood, they're just regular cops." Jax says and just then, I hear an electric chirp coming from Jax's pocket "Answer that! It's the radio we were using to communicate at the casino." I reach into Jax's pocket and take out the radio.
"Jo! Jax! I've got the cops on my tail. They keep blocking my escape routes. I'm stuck on Whittier Boulevard!" Hero's voice comes through and I feel a sense of relief in hearing his voice, knowing he hasn't been caught or hurt.
"Whittier? Same here!" Jenny's voice chimes in.
"I tried going south, but they got me heading west." Tanaka says over the radio and I look up and see a large bridge span dead ahead.
"They're not trying to hit us, Jax. They're funneling us to that bride." I say, turning my head to look at the car still hot on our heels.
"Funneling us? Why would they?" Jax asks and within moments, we're on the bridge. On either side, the ground drops away into the deep channel of the L.A. river. And straight ahead at the end of the bridge, a dozen police vehicles form a barricade. "We've got a serious problem! They were leading us right into a roadblock!"Jax says loudly so the others could hear over the radio. I glance behind us again, wind trashing my hair. The rest of the crew's cars are forced onto the bridge.
"Fuck, there's no way out!" Hero says as everyone slows down, trapped in a pincer move between the pursuing cops and the roadblock. Everyone except... Tanaka. He floors it, zooming past us. Jax immediately rips the radio out of my hand.
"Pop, what are you doing?! They have the whole thing closed off!" He shouts in the small device.
"I told you I couldn't break free of the Brotherhood alone.. but this? This, I can do alone." Tanaka says and I watch as he accelerates faster, hurtling toward the roadblock. "I was so obsessed with my own freedom that I jeopardized yours." His voice is oddly calm and a shiver runs down my spine as realization dawns on me.
"Tanaka! Stop! There's gotta be another way!" Hero's voice booms through the small radio.
"Pop, no! Come back!" Jax shouts voice shaking and I felt like I couldn't breathe. Jax shoulders were shaking and his fingers were gripping the radio so hard I was scared he might crush it.
"Promise me one thing, son. You'll get out of here. You'll leave this life behind for good. You can be anything. Be more than this." Tanaka says and then, the ait sound of someting being unscrewed could be heard, then a hissing noise. "Stay back all of you."
"That sound... his NOS!" Jenny says and my heart drops. "My god.. he's gonna blow up the barricade." She adds. Up ahead, the cops manning the roadblock realize that Tanaka isn't stopping and start running.
"Pop.. please.. you can't leave me." Jax says, his voice shaking.
"Go, Jax. Go, and don't look back." Tanaka says, his last words being swallowed by a loud BOOM! as Tanakas car slams into the roadblock at a hundred miles an hour. The gasoline detonates, in turn igniting the nitrous in a thunderous explosion. The vehicles of the roadblock go somersaulting off the bridge, meteors of flaming wreckage. "Nooooo!" Jax shouts, almost screams as he side-skids his bike to a stop, watching the roadblock burn. The flames reflect on his face. Jenny and Hero slam their brakes, coming to a stop nearby. Not finding any words to say, I squeeze Jax tightly, pressing my head to his back, wishing I could absorb some of his pain.
He says nothing, staring blankly ahead.
Jenny is the first to move, revving her engine.
"He cleared a path for us! If we don't keep moving, that was all for nothing! Drive!" She shouts through the radio and then she floors it. Jax twists the throttle and revs it, too. We pass through the twisted steel of the roadblock. I try not to look, but my eyes are drawn to the wreckage. I'm not sure what I see in the flames...
Jax and I make it back to the park near the garage first. Jax stops a block away when he sees...
"Smoke." He stops and climbs off his bike, walking in a slow daze toward Tanaka Auto Body, engulfed in an inferno.
"Oh god... Levi! Levi!" I call out, watching the flames in front of me, but nobody answers. Jax sits on the curb from a distance, watching his father's garage crumble.
"The Brotherhood... They burned it all." He says quietly I walk over to his side. I almost feel as numb as he looks as I sit down on the curb beside him. Jax stares into the flames, watching as everything his family worked for, everything his father worked for, goes up in smoke. "I'm going to kill them." He finally says, voice hard.
"Jax.." I sit in silence, hoping my presence is enough to soothe him.
"I'm going to hunt them down one by one. I'm going to destroy them the way they destroyed everything I cared about." He says. A piece of charred wood falls from the garage, landing a few feet away. "I'm going to burn them all to the ground."
"Jax, that's not what your dad wanted for you. Your dad sacrificed himself to get you out. Not so you'd spiral into a life of vengeance." I say and Jax looks down, away from the flames, away from me.
"You don't understand." He says between gritted teeth.
"No, I don't. I have no idea what you're going through, but I do know one thing. Your dad wanted you to have more than he ever did, to be more than he ever was. If you let your need for revenge consume you, then he died for nothing." I say and Jax winces at my words, his head hanging low.
"I just..." He starts, letting out a sigh. "I can't believe he's gone." He says and I place a hand on his shoulder. "My whole life, he was this invincible force. Relentless, intractable.." Jax lifts his gaze to me, eyes shining. "He never showed any weakness, not to me, not to anyone."
"Jax, he was a great man." I say softly and he looks down again.
"And now he's just gone."
"He made a choice, Jax. A choice to free you from his choices. He didn't get to decide the course of his life. But now... Whatever path you choose is your own. That's what he wanted." I say and Jax swallows hard. I can see him struggling with his emotions in the firelight as he looks up and searches my eyes.
"Things could've been.. so different." He says quietly and I scoop closer to Jax and wrap my arms around him. He all but collapses into my embrace. After everything we've been through, how we fought at the beginning and still do, he is my friend. And it hurts to see him like this. His arms tighten around me as the tears start to fall. I'm not sure if they're mine or his and they mingle together as they hit the ground. We stay like this for a long moment, offering him the simple comfort of my embrace. "What am I gonna do without him?" I lean back and lock eyes with him.
"You're going to live. Now, come on. The Brotherhood might still be here." I take his hand as I get up and lead him away from his father's garage. As we go, the sign above the bay doors snaps and collapses into the inferno. Walking Jax's bike, the two of us go down the street as the sirens of fire engines approach the garage.
"God, I hope Levi made it out." I say as I glance back to the building.
"He did!" Levi pops out from behind a dumpster suddenly, making me jump!
"Levi! I almost punched you in the face!" I exclaim and he grimaces.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I saw the Brotherhood coming and snuck out the back before they started the fire. So many good cars lost in there." He says and I glance towards Jax, who was walking a few steps ahead of us, not even acknowledging Levi.
"We've lost more than that." I say softly and Levi follows my gaze towards Jax.
"Wheres Tanaka?"
Soon, we've met up with the rest of the crew a few blocks away, catching up Levi on the truth about the Brotherhood.
"I can't believe it..." He says, lwaning against a wall behind him with his arms crossed, frowning.
"Tanaka sacrificed himself for all of us back there. It was brave." Emilia says, wrapping an arm around Levi's shoulder.
"It was selfish! He lied about who the Brotherhood was so we'd stay and help him! The Brotherhood is the police! That's kind of an important detail." Jenny exclaims, angry and Hero sighs, running a hand through his hair, a pained look on his face.
"Those last things I said to him, back in the alley... I wish I could take them back." He says.
"Yeah, well, you can't. There's only one thing any of us can do." Jenny says, looking around at all of us. "We run. That was always the rule. When the heat gets too close, we go our separate ways and never look back. Gianchi's already taken off."
"Jenny is right. The Brotherhood will be out for blood now." Levi says just as Jenny already moves toward her car. I step forward.
"So this is it? This is goodbye?" I ask and jenny whirls around to me.
"Don't get touchy-feely. Your fucking heart is what caused all of this. You blew Jax's plan because you think we're something we're not. You wanted freedom? The fast cars, the bad boy? That whole life? This is it. And it's not for you. Go home, for everyone's sake." She snaps at me and I glare at her.
"You think this is my fault? I bailed you out time and again. Your boss got me into this in the first place. You'd all be dead by now if it weren't for me." I retort and Jenny scoffs.
"Probably right. Thanks for that and all, but now it's done. I'm just saying... don't expect a postcard." Jenny gets into her car and drives away without a backward glance. A few painful seconds pass before someone speaks up.
"Well... I'll see you when I see you." Levi says quietly.
"Catch you in the next life." Emilia says and I watch the both of them get into their cars and drive off. Jax gets back on his motorcycle.
"Where are you gonna go?" Hero asks him and Jax shrugs, avoiding his gaze.
"Dunno. But you won't have to stay out of L.A. for long. The Brotherhood will be dead soon." He says.
"Or you will." Hero retorts and Jax nods with cold certainty, then zooms off into the night. Hero and I are left alone on the quiet street.
"That's it then." I say quietly, still looking in the direction the crew, who I thought were my friends, drove off. I could feel Hero's hand on my shoulder, giving it a light squeeze.
"Yeah. That's it. Come on, Jo. I'll get you back to your friends' place."
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author's note
Hey guyss, new chapter! 😊
Merry (almost) Christmas to everyone celebrating! 🎄🎅 I hope you have great holidays! I'm unfortunately sick so mine will be spent mostly on the couch, reading and writing! I also decided my next book is not going to be Ethereal, but something else just based on what I enjoy writing more, I hope that's okay! Also, it will be in third person because I just think you can do so much more with that and I also personally enjoy reading third person way more 😊
This chapter is a sad one and it may seem like we're close to the end, but there's still a lot to come 👏
don't forget to vote, comment and share! 💞