Mezzanine

| 17 |

"Jay, wait!" Lola called. The door to her car slammed, and her feet splashed through the puddles as she chased me up the walkway to my front door.

"Jay!" She grabbed me by the wrist, pulling me around to face her. Rain pounded around us as the wind whipped through the trees behind my house.

"What?" I asked. "That's all I know, Lola. I've told you everything, so just let it go."

"I'm sorry." Her grip on my wrist tightened.

"Sorry you asked?" I shot back.

"No, sorry about what happened." She released her hand from me, pushing her tangled hair out of her face and meeting my gaze. Shock and fear were written across her features, and tears beaded in her eyes, mixing with the rainwater running down her cheeks. "And I'm sorry I made you talk about it."

Pain gnawed at my chest. A void opened up, pulling at me from the inside. I hadn't told anyone about my brother and what happened since moving here, not even Carter. I hadn't even really talked about it with anyone back in the city. It was something I tried not to think about. Thinking about it only made the pain come back up—raw and fresh—like it was happening all over again. So I pushed it down, pretending it never happened in the first place.

"It's fine." I took my key out of the pocket of my jeans and opened my front door. Thankfully, the deadbolt wasn't locked this time.

"Wait, can't we just talk for a second?" Lola begged.

"What else do you want to talk about?" My tone came out with a bite—harsher than I'd intended—but I didn't apologize.

"I...I don't know."

"Of course you don't." I shook my head, a sardonic laugh escaping through my lips. "I've just told you the most painful thing that's ever happened to me, and you know I'm not kidding when I say of everyone in this entire fucking town, you're the person I know the least. So why I did that, your guess is as good as mine."

Lola was silent for a minute, her hazel eyes shining with tears. Her lips quivered from the cold as a crash of thunder rumbled through the night.

"Thank you for telling me." Her voice was barely audible over the drone of the pouring rain. "I know it wasn't easy for you to talk about."

She took my hand and held it. Her thumb traced over my palm, the contact warm against my skin. With her other hand, she reached to my face. Her fingers ran through my hair and brushed it down so it covered the gash on my forehead from when I'd slammed it into the hearth. The tug against the wound stung, but feeling her touch electrified me with warmth.

"In case your mom is still awake," she said. "She doesn't need to see it and think..."

I nodded, swallowing the lump in my throat. Despite the darkness of the night, her eyes somehow captured a glisten of light. She glowed like a flame was burning somewhere deep inside her, and I was the moth.

Lola's fingers trailed down my cheek, her thumb grazing over the corner of my lips. Her breath crystallized in front of her, drawing my gaze to her slightly parted red lips as the scent of chocolate and peppermint warmed the cold air.

"I know we don't know each other well," she whispered, "but I want you to know me better." A pause. "I want to know you better."

Before I knew what I was doing, I reached to her, gripping her by the back of the neck. My fingers tangled in her curly hair as I pulled her in until her body was against mine. I turned her head so my lips brushed over her ear, but I wanted to be closer. "What are you doing to me?"

She tilted her head back so she could look up to me, her eyes locking on mine. "The same thing you're doing to me." Her voice sent a shiver through me. Electricity danced at every point of contact as her hand trailed down my neck and to my chest.