i'll be there - chandler bing (on hold)

the one with the butt

third person pov

"oooh! look! look! look, there's joey's picture! this is so exciting!" rachel exclaims, looking at the program. the group sat in the audience, waiting for joey's new show to start. gianna sat in between ross and chandler, his arm thrown around the back of her chair. 

"you can always spot someone who's never seen one of his plays before. notice, no fear, no sense of impending doom..." chandler replies sarcastically and gianna hits his leg. 

"the exclamation point in the title scares me. y'know it's not just freud, it's freud!" phoebe says, looking down at the program. the lights begin to dim and gianna sits back in her seat, her heart racing when she feels chandler's arm on her back. 

"oh, shhh, shhh. magic is about to happen." ross teases, earning a slap from gianna. the lights on the stage go up, as joey is talking to a female patient. 

"vell, ella, ve've done some excellent vork here, and i vould have to say, your pwoblem is qviiite clear." joey begins before going into a song and dance number. 

"all you want is a dingle,

what you envy's a schwang,a thing through which you can tinkle,or play with, or simply let hang..."

the play had ended the everyone was beginning to stand, the applause slowly dying down. 

"god, i feel violated." rachel moans, slouching in her chair. 

"did anybody else feel they just wanted to peel the skin off their body, to have something else to do?" monica asks, looking back at gianna. 

"hey, c'mon you guys. it wasn't that bad." gianna argues, looking around everyone before seeing chandler staring across the room. 

"ross, ten o'clock." chandler stammers, hitting ross' shoulder across gianna. 

"is it? feels like two." ross replies miserably. gianna follows chandler's gaze and sees him staring at a beautiful woman. 

"no, ten o'clock." chandler seethes. 

"what?" 

"there's a beautiful woman at eight, nine, ten o'clock!" chandler sighs and gestures to try and explain to ross. gianna sighs, looking down to see phoebe and rachel looking up at her sympathetically. 

"oh. hel-lo!" ross smiles, looking at the woman. 

"she's amazing! she makes the women that i dream about look like short, fat, bald men!" chandler continues. 

"well, go over to her!" gianna snaps, causing chandler to look at her. "she's not with anyone!" 

"oh yeah, and what would my opening line be? 'excuse me. blarrglarrghh'." chandler mocks himself and gianna rolls her eyes. 

"oh, c'mon she's a person, you can do it!" rachel argues. 

"oh please, could she be more out of my league? ross, back me up here." chandler replies, hitting ross' shoulder across gianna again. 

"he could never get a woman like that in a million years." ross exclaims, continuing to stare at her. 

"oh, oh, but y'know, you always see these really beautiful women with these really nothing guys, you could be one of those guys!" phoebe exclaims and the others nods, except for gianna. 

"you could do that!" monica smiles. 

"y'think?" chandler asks, looking down at gianna for a response. she rolls her eyes before forcing a smile.