Shadows (Solangelo)

Fag

I shoot awake, the cold sweat dripping from my forehead and with a heavy breath. I turn around to see the time.

16 pm

Sighing I get up from my bed and go take a cold shower to take my head off of this dream that has been hunting me since when I went into Tartarus.
I take my boxers off and hope on the shower. The cold water hits on my skin, making my tense muscles relax.

Honestly, I just love taking showers. It's the moment I have to think about everything and anything without being interrupted. That is the reason why I take such long showers. I hum to a song while washing my hair, the bad part of it: I have to use Hazel's shampoo, so now I smell like vanilla.

After about half an our I hope out of the shower and pull on a black v-neck and some black skinny jeans.

I get out of the Hades' cabin looking around for Jason. Why? I honestly don't know, I guess for once I don't feel like staying on my own for the whole day.

"Hey, fag!" Someone screams and I frown. Fag? Are they even talking to me?

Of course, you idiot. Who else would they call a fag?

Not the voices again. I look down and walk faster, ignoring completely whoever was trying to talk to me.

"Oi, I'm talking to you." The person puts their hands on my shoulder and spins me around. "What do you want, Drew?" I ask expressionless. "I heard you and Solace are going out." Drew says smirking and I just stare at her.

She looks right back at me waiting for a reaction, but I just keep on a blank face. "You should be ashamed of it. How disgusting. You're already a freak and now gay too? I always knew that there was something wrong with you, but not THAT wrong. You're a worthless ugly fag. Someone like you doesn't deserve Will, you're just rubbing off your gayness on him. But guess what? No one likes you. You're alone and once Solace realises that, he won't want you anymore." Drew spats at me and walks away with an evil grin on her face. Some of other daughters of Aphrodite that were with her giggle and whisper things about me.

Shrugging I continue walking, but this time to the direction of my cabin. Still with a straight face, not giving them any reaction. That's what they want.

I enter my cabin and lock the door behind me. I go straight to the bathroom and take a look at the mirror.

Fag
Worthless
Ugly
Disgusting
Freak
The list could go on and on

Drew was right. I'm all that. I sigh and slid down the wall, sitting on the ground with hugging my knees.
No, I don't cut. And neither I cry. This won't make things better, but probably worse.

Drew's words still hurt. And they hurt, because they are true. I know I don't deserve Will and that I'm a freak and worthless and I have no one. I'm all alone in this world and that's what makes me the saddest.

If I was worth it. I wouldn't be here. I'd have a friend to go to, and I wouldn't feel like I was a bother to them.
But sadly I don't.

Sighing I rest my head on the wall and stare at the dark ceiling, hoping to one day find a person who truly cares.