Souls | Severus Snape

20 | Unrequited

Severus was a stranger to love, and he swore he had never experienced it before he met you. It was such an enthralling feeling, taking him into a whole new world that he had never been before. It was too good to be true for him, and as he watched you walk away from him, a wave of guilt washed over him.

He loved you, truly, he did but he had no power over his jealousy. Severus was a calm and collected person, always knowing what to do next in his life, solving problems like nothing mattered to him. But when it came to you, his emotions were all over the place and before he could know it, he was hurting you again.

He had no one to love before, let alone having someone loving him back. It took him too long to accept the fact that he deserved to be happy, and it was time for him to open the door of his heart, letting you make your way in. It was a huge change for him to find someone to lean on, to pour his heart and soul, and to spend his whole life with.

Hence, when he felt like his relationship with his soulmate was threatened, his feelings were battling in his heart. He did not know what to do, and it became worse when it was clear that Remus saw you as more than a friend, and yet you were always picking his side rather than your soulmate's.

Severus let out a wistful sigh, admitting that he was to be blamed for your heartbreak. He sat alone in his office during dinner, knowing that he could not bring himself to see you in the Great Hall after what he said to you earlier that day.

It was so insensitive of him to use your problem against you, when you trusted him with all of your heart, telling him things that you had never opened up to anyone else before.

He was not thinking straight when he said it, having no control over his emotions as he let his anger lead his mouth. He regretted what he did, and he knew you were anguished and disappointed in him.

Severus knew he had disappointed you once, and now he did again, betraying your trust. He was afraid if your love for him was diminishing, just when his love for you was starting to bloom stronger by day.

He was ashamed of himself. He realised he had to learn to control his feelings, even when he was afraid of losing you because if he could not, then he surely would lose you for real.

He had to think of a way to ask for your forgiveness, as he could not afford to lose you, not now and not ever. He finally found his soulmate for years, and he had fallen in love with you, it would be agonising if he were to lose you, all because of his foolish words.

On the other side of the castle, you were sulking in your room, ignoring your rumbling stomach. You did not want to go to the Great Hall for dinner just to see the man who broke your heart, the one who you still loved with all of your might.

You wondered if he meant what he said to you. A part of you was telling you that he did not mean it, as he was getting closer to you and he would never do anything to hurt you. But another was still in doubts, since you would never know if there was still a little bit of hatred for you.

You thought everything was fine. Severus seemed to be happy with you, and you could not explain it with words about how overjoyed you were to be his friend. It did not matter to you if you had to love him silently, as it was enough for you to be close to him, smiling and laughing with him like everything was going to be alright. But apparently, nothing was going to be fine.

It pierced your heart when Severus decided to bring your family problem into your argument. It was something that you despised, you hated talking about it and he knew it. He knew how much you hated it but still, he used it against you, causing you to regret to ever tell him about it.

You thought you had found the one, that finally Severus would be your true love, and someday he would reciprocate your feelings. But you were far from the truth as it was obvious that he would never feel the same. He kept hurting you like you meant nothing to him, and the remorse in his eyes was not enough to convince you that he did not mean what he said.