from the depths of my mind, they flutter free

faint

Something rises
in my chest.
Hands pressed
against my breast.

It is nothing.
It will be gone.
I'm not fainting.
I am strong.

I was wrong.

The world blurs;
people's voices
become murmurs.
Knees weaken.

Hello!
Hello!
You're falling!
You're falling!

Falling backwards
into open arms;
eyes still open
not for long.

Stay with me!
Stay with me!
Stay with me!
Talk to me!

I feel dizzy.
You're blurry.
You're dark.
I can't see.

Your face is pale!
Your lips are white!
Sit first. Upright.
Where's the pain?

In my chest.
Just my chest.
I just need rest.
Take me to bed.

Don't close your eyes!
Don't close your eyes!
Oh no, you might die.
Can you walk?

I can walk.
I can talk.
I can't see.
You're dark and blurry.

Get the chair!
Get the chair!
Get water!
Not cold, warm water!

mother shouting
father crying
brother panicking
people running
footsteps thumping
vision darkening
chest tightening
shallow breathing
suffocating
head aching
life slipping
death beckoning

Please don't die.
Please don't die.
I can't die.
I don't want to die.

Here.
Drink.
Get the ointment!
Get the ointment!

Glass meets lips
the bottle tips
water flows
and warms from within.

Arms carrying
my body rising
and then falling
wheels start rolling

hands push chair
across the floor
there it is
my bedroom door.

Prepare the pillows!
Get comfortable clothes.
No, that's too small.
A big shirt!

Two pairs of hands
help me stand
clothes fall off body
something baggy
is put on me

arms guide me
to my bed
pillows stacked
beneath my head

vials open
the smell of ointment
fills the air
my body lays there
Vicks and white flower
applied all over
from head to toe.

That's enough.
She looks okay.
Look, her lips
they're pinkish again.

I can hear.
I can see.
I can see you.
I can see clearly.

Vision clears
to see parents' frowns
and heavy tears
trickling down
from glassy eyes
frozen in fright

chest lightens
breath deepens
senses return
body strengthens

yet weakness lingers.

Those sleepless nights
and staying up late
almost snatched my life
and sealed my fate.