The Perfect Timing

Chapter Thirty-Three

Maddie

Coming to a bridal shop with Maya for her final dress fitting wasn't supposed to make me emotional. This is my best friend. I should be so happy for her that she found my brother and that they're going to be happy, but instead, all I can think about is this past weekend and how fucking horrified Cameron seemed just at the mere mention of marrying me.

Isn't that what we're working towards? I mean, he did tell me he wanted to take it slow, but shouldn't marriage be the goal? It shouldn't disgust him as it did last night, that's for sure.

No way.

The words have echoed in my head for days now, and even the girls at the clinic have noticed a shift in my mood. Dr. Hartley was trying to tell me all the coolest places to visit while I'm in Europe, but nothing seemed exciting. I've been in a horrible ass mood, and everyone can tell.

I'm sitting in a pink lounge chair outside of the dressing room, twiddling my thumbs on my lap as Maya gets changed. There are so many dresses that line the walls on either side of me, and I find myself blinking away tears.

This is so stupid. Why am I getting so upset over this? Cam and I aren't even official yet for crying out loud! I'm mad because he got scared about dropping down onto one knee. Why would he even want to? I hid our daughter from him for over a year.

But he had said he wanted to get back together, and wouldn't marriage be something to look forward to? I don't want to be wasting our time if we're not on the same page.

I need to talk to him about how I'm feeling, and I will, but this week we've both been busy. He was in LA for a few days to re-shoot the GQ cover, and I was working both jobs and taking care of Iz. The opportunity just never came for me to bring it up. He can tell I've been distant though, only replying to him when his texts pertained to Izzy.

"Okay," Maya breathes out and opens the curtain, my heart stilling in my chest completely.

Her body is draped in the most beautiful mermaid-length gown. It has such a vintage vibe to it, with lace completely engrossing the bodice. The train is a cathedral, pooling around her in a giant circle. I can hardly fucking see though because my vision is blurry from the tears.

"Ethan is going to lose his shit." I sniffle and wipe quickly underneath my eyes, trying not to bawl like a baby.

"You think?" She replies as she steps up onto the podium, blinking away tears of her own as she does a spin in the mirror. "I feel like such a damn princess in this dress. What do you think about vintage Hollywood waves for my hair?"

I eagerly nod my head. "Yes. Perfect."

The seamstress pops her head in to make sure that everything is okay, and Maya gives her a thumbs up as she runs her fingers over the lace of the dress. "I can't believe it's this weekend," she gushes. "I'm actually getting married to Ethan. I never thought in a million years..." She stops herself, placing her hand over her heart. "Oh my god, I'm totally not going to cry right now. That's stupid."

"Oh, Maya..." I stand up and embrace her in my arms, and soon we're both blubbering like lunatics. She gathers herself after about a minute or so, but now that I've started I can't seem to stop. The tears keep flowing like a river that doesn't have an end.

"I-I'm so sorry," I gasp and take a step back, but Maya keeps her hold on me. "This is your day. It's not a time to be upset. I'm fine. Promise."

"Clearly you're not fine, and it's not like this is my wedding day, Maddie. Tell me what's wrong."

I plop down into the chair again, putting my face into my hands. "It's just everything," I sob. "Cam and I just got back together and I feel like I'm going to lose him again. He's going to LA in a month to start the season back up, and I'm leaving for my study abroad program with Iz. Long distance has never worked with us, but I thought this time would be different, you know? Because I thought we were on the same page, but at your bachelorette party he got so fucking scared just at the thought of being engaged to me. Like it was the last damn thing he wanted."

Maya purses her lips before she forms them into a thin line, giving my hand a gentle squeeze. "Can I say something without you interrupting?" She whispers. "And promise to let me finish?"

I nod.

"We've been best friends since the sixth grade, right?"

I nod again.

"You have been in love with this man for over ten years, Maddie. Ten years. I remember having sleepovers when you would tell me about your fantasies of just kissing him. Just having him notice you."

The tears are falling full force again.

"This study abroad program was all you could talk about before he was back in the picture, and now I haven't heard you mention it once when it's freaking fully paid for. Why do you think that is?"

"Because I-"

"Let me finish." Maya holds a finger up before she squats down in front of me, catching my gaze with hers. "I want you to know that it's okay to not go on this trip. It's okay if choosing to stay with Cam will make you happier. It doesn't make you any less of an independent woman. Cam has always been your dream, and you have the opportunity right now to mend things and have your shot at a family. Not to say you couldn't still have that if you choose to go, but you've been fucking miserable about leaving, Maddie. It's written all over your face whenever anyone brings it up."

She's not wrong. Everything she's saying is spot on.

"It's okay to have more than one dream." Maya reassures me. "Choose whatever is going to make your heart happiest, okay?"

I fall into her arms, pulling her tightly into my chest to give her the biggest hug I can. She just said everything I needed to hear, and although picking Cam and just saying fuck it would be ideal, I know that this study abroad program is going to benefit me in the long run as hard as it may be. It's nice to know that she supports me either way though.

"I love you," I whisper to her. "I'm so sorry that we grew apart when I went to college. It was all my fault."

"Maddie, it happens to a lot of friends. I don't hold a grudge against you at all, okay? I had every opportunity to pick up the phone too, but I didn't. We were busy. It's life. Hell, look where we are now! I'm in a damn wedding dress getting married to your brother and you're my maid of honor. Things worked out exactly how they were supposed to."

She is so right. Maya always is. Wiping away the last of my tears, I rise up from the chair to hold her at arm's length and say, "If Ethan doesn't cry then I'm so going to kick his ass."