30: Reed

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I hadn't wanted to wake up Simone, but I couldn't get a better time to go shopping than now. I had to meet with Roniston this afternoon and it was Simone wouldn't want to be near me after a long day of thinking. So, I made sure to do it first thing in the morning.

I had hoped her playfulness would continue after she fully woke, but it didn't. I knew the second I saw her in the kitchen that she was back to being distant. Not wanting to sit in awkward silence over food, I went to dress, hating how I was being a coward. I still felt the bond and it was still strong, so I knew that whatever is going on, it might pass soon enough. I just didn't know how to make it pass any faster.

Now, sitting in the car with her beside me and looking out the window, I felt like there was a wall between us and I couldn't reach her. She just didn't engage, and it scared the hell out of me. She won't even look into my eyes for a prolonged period of time. What was I doing still trying? I may have heard the words last night, but that doesn't mean anything when she's like this to me.

Sighing, I glance at her and say, "Tell me what's wrong."

"Who said anything was wrong?"

"No one has to say it, Simone. I can see it in the way you walk away from me." Closing my eyes for a moment, I try to stay calm. "What did I do to make you so withdrawn?"

She thinks for a moment. "It's not you...at least not completely."

"Then what is it?"

Simone shakes her head softly, looking down. "It's not something I can explain."

My hands tighten on the wheel and my patience is a thin line. "Tell me my part then."

"Does it matter?" she mumbles.

That was the final straw. I pull over and get out of the car, walking away a little before pacing back. I hear her get out and the light footsteps getting near me. "Simone, get back in the car and stay there. Do not come over here or I might do something I will regret!" I hiss.

"Reed?"

"Get back in the car!" I hiss again. I pull my hair to avoid shifting and escaping into the forest to kill something. When I glance at her, she's a few feet away, confusion and concern on her face. "Don't you understand?" I yell. She flinches away. "I will hurt you if you don't go back now and stay there!"

"You get in the car," she whispered. "I'll stay out here."

I shake my head and jerk a finger towards her. "You really should listen to me, Simone. I'm not messing around here."

"Neither am I!"

"Then go!"

Instead of listening to me, she storms up and shoves me. I glare at her, but she's just as pissed off. "You don't understand! You ask me what's wrong, ask what you can do to help, then tell me to get in the car because you're out of control! Do you really want to know what's wrong? Do you really want to know what's been on my mind for the past two weeks? It isn't exactly sunshine and roses!"

I tower over her and fist my hands, but don't raise them. "I want to know why the hell you've been avoiding me every time I try to talk to you. I want to know how exactly you can scream out what you did last night and still act like this! I want to know what I did to make you question me!"

Tears prick her eyes. "It's not what you've done, it's what you haven't done. It's the hidden meaning for what you do and don't do. It's the horrors people have whispered in my ear, the lies, that make me question who you are and your intentions."

"So, you're believing something someone told you, not even asking me if it's true?" I laugh harshly. "If you believe them so much, then why not reject me? If it's taking you this long to determine if I'm the enemy or not, then kill me here and now and make it all easier on yourself."

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