There are ways of dying that do not end with a funeral. Types of deaths you can't see, feel or smell. Because death, just like love, has a mind of its own and some things can't be prevented.
What started as an innocent high school quest in search o...
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No one wants you here.
Just leave us the fuck alone.
No one wants you here.
I hear her voice repeating those goddamn words in my head in a loop, beating down on me harder than any physical blow aimed at me ever could. No one wants you here. What the fuck happened to her?
Yeah, I get it. I had sex with her and then dipped out of town and ignored her messages but it's not like I forced her into it. It sort of just. . . happened. And she wanted it, too. And I had my reasons why I did what I did, which she'd find out if only she let me actually speak to her instead of immediately telling me to fuck off.
Yes, I was acting selfish -- even if it was for greater good -- once again but I didn't mean to hurt her. Not like this. Was what I did really that bad in her eyes? Does she really think I'm such an asshole? And out of all people she could choose to lean on. . . she chooses Timothy?
"Fuuuuuck!" I scream out of frustration, hitting the steering wheel with my fist.
Everything comes rushing back. The way that fucking asshole just taunted me inside building up even more anger. I'd smashed his face right in. For doing what he did. For giving Aspen drugs and dragging her down with him. Why was he doing this? Was he getting high with her as well, or was he just feeding her while he remained sober? 'Cause, honestly, after Courtney, I wouldn't put it past him.
He laughed in my face and mocked me while I was choking him like a goddamn psycho. Was it all just an entertainment to him? Pushing people and seeing how much they'd bend for him? Pampering his ego with knowing how much power he could have over people, how good he could manipulate them to his liking?
He seemed to be having his phases in the past. Always latching onto a person until he lost interest and moved onto someone else. Cassidy. Courtney. Sarah. And now Aspen, too. And I bet he'd have done the same to Jade if she wasn't smart enough to never get involved with him, intimately.
Have they slept together? No. Aspen wouldn't do that. Not in this state. But out of spite. . . No. She wouldn't.
Would she?
Fuck. How the fuck did I get to this point? Finally connecting and feeling something for someone that now hates my guts because of a fucking misunderstanding. And manipulation. God. Timothy had really done a number on her during the short time I was away.
I'm unable to stop the sudden burst of pressure inside my chest at the thought. So much shit went down tonight and it seems to me that no matter what I do, no matter how hard I try to fix it, it only gets worse, burrowing me even deeper. I'd kill for a hit. A pill. Booze. Anything. But I can't. . . I won't go down that path again.
And I hate myself for even considering it as I pull away from the curb, driving away from Timothy's house.
I try to calm myself down a little with the only thing available, smoking a cigarette, letting the nicotine float into my lungs and back out, as I drive to the only place that comes to mind.
