Everything changed that day for me, on August 17th, 2017-- the day my dad died. Four days before I left for college I got the call no 18 year old expects to get. A call that changes everything about your perception, your thoughts, your emotions. As I screamed on the floor pulling out my hair I couldn't control my thoughts. My mom tried to comfort me, but I wanted to die too. A part of me died with him that day.
On August 21st, 2017 I started college, and it was great. I changed to staying with my mom the first semester due to the fact I couldn't sleep alone. Eventually, 3 months later in November I dropped out. The passing of my father changed my life. I was depressed, anxious, falling behind. "There's goes being a doctor." I thought to myself.
A year later I met the person I thought was the love of my life. Everything was amazing at first. I should've saw the red flags from the beginning. But I was alone, and desperate to fill a void. For the next three and a half years I did anything to keep him. He hit me, cheated on me, forced me to do things, as well as verbally and mentally abusing me. During this time I tried to go back to school, but dropped out again. Then my dad's parents, my grandparents, both got sick with lung cancer at the same time and passed away.
December 22nd, 2019 I turned 21. Those first sips of alcohol as a legal adult ran an electric shock through my veins. It made me feel good, it made me feel better. My dad dying, abusive boyfriend, grandparents passing away-- it felt like a breath of fresh air to find what seemed like medication to me. I didn't care that alcoholism ran in my genes. I eventually became one anyway.
Started with three beers a night, and then eventually a little over a year later it became a pint of vodka everyday. I was 22, and destroying my liver. My depression and anxiety was so bad. I left my ex boyfriend, but I felt worse after. Then on a fall night on October 2nd, 2021 I decided to up it to two pint of absolut vodka. I got angry and sad-- then the worst thing I ever did happened.
I kicked in a window and use the glass to hurt myself. I tried to kill myself. My sister rushed me to the hospital where I was kept for a week in a mental stabilization center. The detox helped me, and the nurses said the alcohol alone almost killed me. After that I stayed on my medication and sober.
As of today I still strive to be better. I moved away, and I'm in school to be a nurse. I am getting my life back on track. I'm proof that even in the darkest times, life can and will get better.
Thank you.
YOU ARE READING
Back on Track
Short StoryA short story about a girl who goes through trauma, abuse, sacrifice and love. Losing herself-- and slowly finding her way back on track. TRIGGER WARNING: mentions of addiction, mental health, abuse and attempted suicide.
