still, none the wiser (poetry)

little

it's sad.

it is so, so sad that

we were all little once.

little fingers, little voices, little lives.

wasn't the world so colorful then,

all scribbled in with pink?

but we've grown up now,

and the only little thing we have anymore is

hope.

○○○○○

back then, all we dreamt about were taller

days.

we dreamt that we would wake up on

our biggest birthday, and know better.

that we would open our presents, and feel

that we could live.

blow out our candles and finally, finally,

be enough.

i am as tall as my mother,

yet i think i'm still dreaming.

i have to keep dreaming because perhaps

the girl i'll be

tomorrow will fill the emptiness in my

bones.

maybe she'll have found what i've been

looking for my whole life.

maybe then, i could finally close my eyes,

and rest, just for a while.

so, i wish her good luck.

and off in the distance,

i hear her wish

for the girl she'll be tomorrow to fill the

emptiness in her bones.

○○○○○

it's been so long since hope has turned into

a sunrise.

it's been so long since i've had anything

more than the brief light of

a melting candle

and rushed wishes in a room

full of eyes,

never granted.

so, I'll wish

on my next birthday

and the one after that

and the one after that

and the one after that

that i could dream,

big but small,

for one

night more.

-V

(not too proud of this one, would love some feedback on it if you have any!)