brown sweater date

"brown sweater date"

i wore a brown sweater and beige receptionist pants on this "date." i was eighteen and i was going through a phase where i tied my hair in a bandana almost every day. i must've looked ridiculous to him. i felt ridiculous. he wasn't even that nice; the nicest thing he did that day was pay for dinner, which consisted of Bojangles chicken in their famous yellow boxes. on the walk back to his car from Target, i asked him to hold my wallet for a quick second, and he snatched it out of my hands. after he dropped me off, i remember walking up my driveway and going straight to my room, where i sat on my bed in silence. i didn't feel excited to see him again, nothing like that. quite the opposite. my entire body felt weird, like it was trying to tell me something. three months passed, and eventually i didn't like him anymore.

he has a girlfriend now. she's petite, with dark brown hair and a pubescent face. and it's not me. i'm happy it wasn't me; i didn't belong with him. i don't speak his name now and that's on purpose.