Echoes of the Abyss

14.

I don't know how long I sit by the fountain, watching as the sun dips below the horizon, painting the sky in shades of red and gold. The gentle burbling of the water behind me and the distant cries of birds heading to roost are the only sounds, a strange tranquility that feels at odds with the churning thoughts in my mind. Even when the moon rises, casting a pale glow over the courtyard, and the chill of the night air raises goosebumps on my skin, I remain motionless. Elias' words still echo in my head like a sinister, taunting refrain.

We'll see, won't we? You'll discover the truth soon enough...

Images flash through my mind—the cold, empty ache in my chest as I watched the egregore slowly drain away my life force, the gnawing hunger and creeping weakness as I was slowly starved in that underwater prison, a result of an accident Elias probably orchestrated. Each horror has left its mark on me, not just physically but deep within my very soul. But could Elias be right? Could those experiences be shaping me in ways I can't even begin to understand? How long will I remain as I am before that darkness overwhelms me, twisting and transforming me into an entity of darkness and hunger?

I don't know. I can't know.

All I can do is keep fighting. Keep pushing back against the darkness, with every ounce of strength and will I possess. But even as I cling to that resolve, that stubborn, desperate hope, I feel a flicker of doubt, a cold, creeping dread.

Because if Dr. Marcus is right, if the scars we bear truly do define us...

Then what does that make me?

What kind of monster might I become, in the end?

The thought is a shadow on my soul, a weight that drags like an anchor as I finally rise and make my way back to the hospital. Back to my room—my prison cell—and the uncertain future that now stretches out before me.

How easy it would be in this moment to surrender, offer myself as an empty vessel for an otherworldly power to fill to overflowing. How satisfying it would be to imagine myself, availed of that power, to overthrow Elias, his colleagues, and those I'm now sure are his co-conspirators here at the IMCC—or whatever else this place might be.

But I will not yield, will not give in to despair and its attendant base instincts. I will not falter. While the way forward lies shrouded in questions and doubts that obscure its true path like the mist that hides the mountains, I will persevere. Armed with the knowledge that I am stronger than the demons that haunt me. I may carry the scars of Avernus Station, but they will not define me.

For I am Emily Hayes, egregore slayer.

And I will fight until my last breath.

Even if the greatest battle...

...is against myself.

Word Count: 21,702