Wedgie

Two

Cane toad freezer.

Now there was something Theo had no desire nor need for back in Adelaide.

With the morning sun just breaking the horizon and casting its sanguine glow on her curtainless bedroom windows, Theo rolled over and kicked at the sheets that had crumpled around her ankles. Spread-eagled in the middle of the bed she let the gentle breeze from the ceiling fan waft every inch of her skin while she tried not to think about the fridge-freezer in the shed behind the house.

Last night's duck bedtime duties had gone off without a hitch. She had learned that close to sunset, or as soon as possible thereafter, B1 and B2 needed to be collected from the little dam at the back of the property, frozen peas could be used as temptation if required, and marched back to their mostly fox-proof night house amongst the Carambola trees. Jeremy had been trained to first check that no predators of any sort had broken in during the day, and then once the ducks were safely corralled and locked up with fresh water, he would patrol the perimeter, cocking his leg on each corner before heading home to proudly take up sentry on the biggest raised pet bed Theo had ever seen, by the front door. Despite not being a traditional guardian, Jeremy's organised urination and his occasional nighttime wandering was apparently all that was needed to keep the Indian runners safe from any foxes game enough to check out the coop.

How embarrassing it was to feel almost jealous of the wolfhound's purposeful little life, she thought.

It wasn't that Theo particularly disliked her own life, living and working in the city, but she didn't exactly love it either. She'd been doing it for so long she never really questioned the possibility of trying anything different, and it wasn't as if she had any impressive skills she could channel. Unless you counted hand-churning ice cream, that was.

Sitting upright and wiping the sweat from the backs of her knees, Theo flapped the corner of the top sheet in front of her face and peered at her dim reflection in the dresser mirror opposite.

For Thirty-one she was still pretty youthful looking, and despite the finger-in-the-socket appearance she had taken on overnight, she wasn't ugly. Blessed, or was it cursed, with naturally blonde wavy hair she usually left it down and it would do it's own thing in a fairly neat and respectable manner, but judging by the way the humidity here in the tropics was giving it a recalcitrant mind of it's own, she was definitely going to have to adopt a more tie it up and pretend it's not there approach.

Not fat not thin and mid-range height for a woman, Theo's proportions could all be classified as average. Day to day she dressed well enough to look 'nice' but nothing more, and she certainly didn't have a particular style she really embodied. Makeup fell into the luxury purchase category these days, and so she relied on supermarket spf 50 BB cream and the occasional frosting of mascara instead. 

All in all, she was really just giving 'meh'.

Coupling this with her melancholy attitude to life, was it any wonder that her thirty-five year old ex had slept with his nineteen year old 'just a work colleague'? By no means was Theo's apathy to blame for Ben's borderline creepy infidelity, but she did concede some responsibility for the degredation of their six year relationship.

"Ugh, whatever." Theo threw down the sheet and slithered out of bed.

It was far too sticky to get dressed for breakfast and seeing as Edna's house was in the middle of a little over ten acres of fruit trees, bushes, and vines she felt it was safe enough to pad out of her room and down the hallway to the kitchen in just her knickers and crop top.

"Good morning."

Holding an imaginary hem, Theo did a little curtsey to her grandmother who was already up and sat at the old, long farmhouse table with her teacup and the local newspaper spread out in front of her. All three dogs got up from beside her chair where they'd been waiting for toast crumbs to fall, and excitedly greeted their new housemate.