NINETEEN: PIERCING POINT

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Iris wasn't sure how long it took her to find the courage to do it. It was a frail little thing nestled inside her, cowering in terror in the gaps between her ribs, but it was still there, begging and pleading desperately to be heard.

Iris would say to it, "I worry about you, sometimes."

It would reply, "Don't."

It sounded an awful lot like Lyra sometimes.

She wasn't sure how she'd willed herself into wanting to do it in the first place, but choosing to move on was way beyond the bare minimum of healing, so that would be something she'd be patting herself on the back over once she found her way to the original timeline. If she could find a way of returning, that is; Lyra was adamant that she could, while Iris had some doubts and conflicting emotions over the whole ordeal.

In a way, it comforted her and filled her chest with warmth to know Lyra had enough faith in her to blindly trust her and believe in her potential; after all, not every person on the planet was able to bend and rewind time whenever they chose to, even if it came with great risk to the world population and to the user (Iris' nose would not stop bleeding at times, not to mention the permanent lightheadedness and chronic migraines that left her barely unable to leave her dorm room to attend any lectures).

On the other hand, it struck her hard right through the chest, like Lyra was trying her hardest to get rid of her, to make her stop interfering with her life. It wasn't nice to feel unwanted or unneeded, especially when you'd spent your whole life doing so chronically, physically unable to stop being ready and available to drop everything to help other people. However, like rewinding time to save Lyra from herself, from Iris, from the world, from any possible harm, there were needed risks and sacrifices.

Though it was agonizing to admit, Lyra was right. Iris couldn't make those decisions by herself, neglecting Lyra's own input in the matter, and that was without mentioning the entirety of the world's population and how Iris' poor decisions had impacted them without their consent or knowledge.

Lives had been changed, multiple timelines had been created, and their relationship was still unsalvageable, regardless of her being alive. Keeping her alive had been the goal all along, but she didn't want her to be miserable, either, so she'd found herself at a crossroad with poor visibility.

The only good thing about being left to her own devices so often (no longer a danger to herself or to others! What a miracle!) was that it gave her space away from Lyra to come up with a plan. She needed to explain to her what needed to be done, but she also needed to find a way to approach the subject, carry on a conversation with her without it resulting into a fistless argument (even though, if she succeeded, said argument would've never happened—not like the one that had finally tore them apart) or without suffering a mental breakdown, and find a way back to her life. Her real life.

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