Affinity

December 13th, 2023

"I'm just going to say it," Jess started blankly. I looked up at her and waited for her to start explaining what she was going on about. It was nothing new for her to come to me about something that was pissing her off, so I started wondering what Tom must have said to anger her this early in the morning. "I'm kind of mad at you," she added, as she stood up, walking over to the other side of the lab to fill her sample bucket with ice. To say that I was a little bit surprised by her saying that was an understatement. Jess and I were close, and we shared a lot with each other that we didn't necessarily share with many other people, especially the ones that we had worked with, but it still caught me off guard a little bit to hear her say that.

We hadn't really talked so much over the past few days, so I couldn't think of a reason for her to be upset with me, aside from the fact that maybe she was mad because we hadn't really talked so much?

Jess did that sometimes. She was what you might call a little territorial. If there was a picture next to the word "over-thinker" in the dictionary, it would have Jess's picture right next to it. If you didn't speak for too long, or if you breathed a different way, something had to be wrong. So, it wasn't out of the blue for her to think that something was going on, but it was definitely out of the blue for her to be the one that was mad... at me especially.

"Wait- what happened?" I asked intently, trying to figure out what she was going on about. She sat at the bay across from me and looked at the ground. "Jess-" I pressed, becoming increasingly worried about what she was mad about, and hoping that she would get on with it before anybody came into the lab.

She opened her mouth to speak but for a few seconds, nothing came out. "I don't know, I'm just overreacting and being stupid," she explained, carrying on with what she was doing. My eyes stayed glued to her, and I felt myself not being able to look away until getting a real answer. Thankfully, I was in a lull during the last part of my testing so I could actually be present for her, but I was just wishing she would say something sooner rather than later.

"Did I do something?" I asked timidly, turning my body to fully face her. She continued her pipetting, and you could tell that she was thinking. We sat in silence for even longer. I kept looking around it, and at both of the doors into the lab, thankful that we were in the clear so far. I had a feeling that if somebody had come in at this point, she would have completely just dropped it.

"Is something happening between you and Lindsey?" she asked quickly, and quietly, and still with little inflection in her face. My eyes immediately widened. I almost burst out laughing at the absurdity of her question. If there was something I'd expect her to be upset about with me, I definitely would have never guessed that it would be this. My immediate thought was to tell her that it would only happen in my dreams, because I knew she felt the same. But, I was just at such a loss for words that it took me a second to rack my brain to try and figure out why she would even say that.

My mind traced back the last few weeks, and while I had been closer with Lindsey since I had started here, I didn't think that it was enough to make her think that there was something going on with us.

"You can't actually be serious," I said back with a chuckle, trying to plead as guilty as I possibly could. She, herself, started laughing back at me.

"You're delusional," she snapped back at me. I was taken aback by her tone of voice. I didn't care how close we were, it made me feel a little weird that she was talking to me like that. It felt like she was overstepping a little bit.

"Jess, I genuinely don't know what makes you think that," I admitted, going back to my work since my timer had finally gone off. Another moment or two of silence. I could feel how red my face had gotten. I didn't want to think about how far this could go.