Crave

chapter four: cut me open, heal me fine

~~

Time, curious time
Gave me no compasses, gave me no signs
Were there clues I didn't see?
And isn't it just so pretty to think
All along there was some
Invisible string
Tying you to me?

~~

I stared down the long driveway leading to my parents' typical Suburban 2-story brick home with an intense amount of dread.

Cory seemed to drag, too, as he lulled his FJ Cruiser to the top of the drive, shifting into park slowly, carefully taking his key out of the ignition, mechanically. We stared up at the house together, both mentally preparing for whatever reaction was to come.

In the past, it usually meant a guilt trip, an "I'm disappointed in you" speech, and a thorough inquisition from my mother on what I'd done wrong in this relationship to screw things up so bad. As I stared up at my former bedroom, the knot in my stomach grew larger, impossibly so, feeling like a bowling ball chaining me down to the cool leather passenger seat.

We didn't have long to prepare, though. Our younger half-sister, Isabella, came sprinting out of the house, her long strawberry blonde hair bouncing behind her in cute curly tendrils. She looked like she'd just gotten back from a bonfire, a thick USC hoodie covering her torso and a pair of faded Levi's cutoffs poking out from beneath the thick hem.

But having taught her everything I knew, it could also serve as the perfect cover so she could sneak out later tonight, a cute top likely hiding beneath the thick cotton.

I decide to poke fun at her. "Are you all dolled up for my arrival, or do you have a date?" I joked, hugging her tightly.

Her hand clasped over my mouth instantly, her blue eyes--identical to mine-- bulging wide. "Shut up, Mom and Dad are right behind me and they will freak out if they hear you!"

I grinned. "Ohhhh, so I wasn't so far off, eh?"

"Tell you later," she grinned back, her eyes lit up like stars. I hoped she wouldn't judge me too harshly for what I was about to drop onto them. She admired mine and Jeremy's relationship so much that I was worried she would try to emulate it, something I didn't want.

But she was right. Our parents quickly followed, and I steeled myself once again.

"Chloe! It's so nice to finally have you back home!" my stepfather, Michael, exclaimed once he reached the jeep, taking me into his ever-so-excruciatingly tight embrace that I swore I felt my ribs shift before he let me breathe again. I had once believed that he only ever acted this way because he felt sorry for the fact that my dad died when I when I was just seven years old. Then I saw how he always greeted Cory whenever he would come back home for a visit and knew it wasn't just pity on my end.

My mother gave me a look of sympathy before pulling me in for another tight hug. "Oh sweetheart. I wish you were home under better circumstances."

I cast a side-long glance to Cory, who seemed just as surprised as I was at how... civil she was being. I was prepared for a lecture, to hear how I ruined my one shot at getting married and making her a grandmother. Not to mention, she adored Jeremy, and thought he was the most charming man she'd ever met.

"Me too, Mom," I agreed carefully, pulling back slightly. "But it's nice to be home."

Isabella hooks her arm with mine and Cory's. "Ditto. Both of my big siblings under one roof really helps take the hawk eyes off of me!"

"Izzy!" Our mom shrieks then as our little sister pushes us towards the door. Michael follows with my suitcase close behind. I'd have to figure out how I would get the rest of my things from Jeremy soon, but the fact that I only had two suitcases and a backpack to my name right now terrified me. I felt my heart start to race again and Izzy seemed to sense it, squeezing my bicep gently, letting me know I was safe, I was okay.