His Second Chance

Part 3

The dinner was a few days ago and the aftermath was horrible with Ryan choosing not to speak to me for the rest of the night. I gave him his space knowing that if I saw another woman staring at him the way Theo was with me, I would feel some type of way as well. But I'm starting to feel as if Ryan's feelings are valid. The way Theo looks at me is so intense, as if he wants to devour me.

I try to tell myself I don't feel the same way but I do and it scares me although I could never confide in Ryan about this. I've been with Ryan for years, not once ever looking at a man the way I do Theo. But I still love Ryan, I have to push those feelings away because I could never hurt him, he's the love of my life.

So why do I feel the way that I do? Even now, with Ryan still mad about the night before, an unfamiliar feeling of craving is clawing at my insides and I have a feeling it has to do with Theo. If I don't have feelings for Theo than why did I feel so jealous when I saw him and Alexa walk in together? It must be the case of a simple crush, as long as I never act on it, it will go away.

Now I stand in my kitchen cooking dinner as I wait for Ryan to get home from work, my famous chicken Alfredo on the stove which is also his favorite. It seems as if we haven't been getting along these past few days since the restaurant incident and I want to make amends. I moved here for him, we need to figure out stuff out.

The front door opens and I plaster a smile on my face as I continue to stir the noodles. The sound of footsteps approaching alerts me of Ryan's presence in the kitchen before I feel arms wrap around my waist, pulling me into a strong chest. My smile drops slightly as I feel a pang of disgust in my chest before I squash it down, telling myself I'll question it later.

Ryan breathes deeply through his nose, taking in the scent of the Alfredo. "Mhm chicken Alfredo, my favorite."

He takes a seat at the kitchen table as I dump the water out, mixing my homemade sauce with the noodles before adding in the chicken. Grabbing two bowls out of the cabinet I quickly put some Alfredo in each before setting his down in front of him and taking a seat across from him.

I'm about to take my first bite when I suddenly feel that same intense pair of eyes on me. Looking around and out the windows, I see nothing out of the ordinary but the feeling of being watched doesn't go away.

"So I want to talk about the other night." Ryan's voice breaks me out of my thoughts and I turn to look at him. I can still feel the pair of eyes on me but for some reason it brings a sense of comfort throughout my body, a warm feeling filling my chest. "Do you know Theo?"

So this is what our conversation is going to be about. I know Ryan has been feeling insecure since that night and now he doubts me and our relationship. I don't blame him though, if I was in his place I would feel the same way.

"I've never met him in my life." The lie slips out of my mouth immediately and I pause, taking a moment to ask myself why I've just lied again to Ryan. Why don't I tell him about what happened that night in the club? Does Alexa know what happened? She is apparently friends with Theo, the guy that saved me that night.

"He was staring at you so strangely, as if he wanted you for himself, as if you belonged to him." Ryan admits his feelings, his eyes staring intently into mine. "I don't know why he kept staring at you like that, especially with a girl on his arm. Has Alexa said anything to you about that night?"

I pause, taking in a deep breath. "I haven't talked to her much lately but I want to assure you, you're the only one that I want."

He stares at me, his eyes questioning. "Are you sure?" His eyes hold so much compassion, so much love that I almost flinch away from it.

How can I tell him I love him when I feel so much attraction for another. It's heartbreaking the way I love him but my body craves another, what do I do? Do I tell him the truth or do I keep it a secret in order to keep him happy while I feel for another?

Staring into his eyes, I get my answer, "I'm sure, you know I love you and only love you."

He smiles, the words reassuring him as my lies eat me up inside. I stare into the face of the face that loves me, my heart breaking inside as I begin to feel that he's not the one that I want. I've loved Ryan for years yet I feel strangely comfortable lying to him, as if this is what is right. I know it's not right but my mind wanders to Theo and what he's doing, wondering if he's thinking of me.

I shake my head, executing the thoughts from my mind as I stare at my boyfriend. For some reason the disgust comes back, shocking me. I love my boyfriend yet the thought of him and the thought of him and I together disgusts me, the feeling I've never felt for him comes pounding in my chest, making me want to gag.

He stares at me, as if he knows something that I don't.

Slamming his fists on the table with an angry glare, he storms out the kitchen, leaving me alone.