Voices

c h a p t e r 2 8 : s t a y

S a m

"Slow down, the world isn't watching us break down. It's safe to say we are alone now, we're alone now." - A Twist in My Story, Secondhand Serenade

I thought the worst would be over

Once you walked out

For good

And I know I should give you

The space you deserve

But I need you here

By my side

At least one last time.

*

I thought that if I explained myself and what happened on the beach that Lou would forget about it.

And then what?

Run off on a horse into the sunset like in all those kid's princess stories?

What were you expecting, Sam?

I wonder, if things had worked out differently, if, perhaps, we met at a different time, in a different place, that things would be alright.

But we'll never know for sure now, will we?

And she's leaving tomorrow. There's definitely nothing I can do to stop her. I should just give up and let it go.

"Mum. I'm home," I call out as I step into my house, closing the door quietly behind me.

"Just in time," she replies. "In the dining room. We're just about to have dinner."

I head towards the dining area and take a seat in between Sandy and Stacey on our circular dining table.

"Sorry I came back late, Mum. I couldn't help you in the kitchen."

She shakes her head. "It's fine. Nothing to worry about," she says. "Your dad won't be back for dinner tonight. He has to stay in the office late."

"Oh, okay."

He's been working late a lot these few days. I hope it's not permanent, especially for Mum's sake. I'm sure it's exhausting to run a whole household by herself.

"Anyway, what are you all waiting for? Dig in."

I stand up, taking hold of the ladle and scooping the stew into everyone's bowls.

"Thank you, Sammy," Sandy says as I place his plastic bowl in front of him.

I laugh. "My pleasure."

Once everyone's bowls are full, I sit down, taking a piece of bread from the centre of the table and spooning some soup and meat onto it before bringing it to my mouth.

Stace and Mum launch into a very in depth conversation about the latest shows on television, with Sandy trying to interject every now and then to show his knowledge on the shows as well. They tried directing some questions at me a couple of times but I only gave one or two word answers and not before long, the questions stop coming.

I just couldn't find it in me to make small talk at a time like this.

I just wish I had the power to change the circumstances in which Lou and I met. I can't help but wonder what if.