Loving Lady Georgianna (Spirited #2)

Chapter 29

Georgie had only felt like this a handful of times in her life, and it never became any easier.

After her confrontation with Thorne she had even gone through the same motions. Grief, plain and simple.

At first, it was a blinding numbness. After her papa had died, that's what it had felt like. Georgie was a ghost that went through the motions of eating and sleeping and bathing, but it was as if something controlled her limbs, forcing her awake even though it seemed there wasn't much reason to continue on. Then came the anger. After the fire, she had taken one look at the mirror and swore never again to fall under a man's spell. Never would she wait and ponder and hope for something more. If she were to obtain what she wanted, she would have to fend for herself. It was better than the numbness, but inevitably led to sadness.

After Georgie had lost Nicholas, she had had bouts of weeping even when there was nothing with which to weep about. It could simply be that her toast was cold and she then she would remember how she had craved just such an item of food when Nicholas had been growing inside her. Then the bleak acceptance. A determination to put one slippered foot in front of the other and try again.

Only this time, Georgie wouldn't' be wishing for love or companionship. Nay, she would go on as before because that was what Georgie knew.

What other choice did she have?

"All I'm sayin', Miss, is t'would only take one single snip. Just one!"

Clarissa's voice entered her thoughts, and Georgie rolled her eyes. A smile wobbled onto her lips but she forced it back. It wouldn't do to humor her lady's maid even though her idea held merit. For, it seemed, Georgie did at least have this choice. Basking in how angry Clarissa was on her behalf. The rumor of Thorne's visit and seeped through the walls and landed upon the lips of the servants. As it was oft to do. Georgie should have felt ashamed that her business was making the rounds, but Clarissa had gone on and on about what they could do to the dandy Viscount to make him pay. Each idea was more creative than the last and having a female companion to ride one's coattails had been Georgie's saving grace.

But Clarissa had made a final go-round of her imagined tortures and come back to her personal favorite.

It was fast becoming Georgie's too.

"I know a servant that works in the Viscount's household," Clarissa continued, not hiding her glee. "I could creep in all stealth like, take a good chunk of hair in my hand and before you know it," her lady's maid made a snipping noise, "his lord's luxurious mane is gone!"

"Clarissa," Georgie admonished, her lips curving despite her best attempts otherwise. "Really?"

Clarissa turned, placing her hands on her hips. "Beggin' yer pardon, Miss, but at least it would be doing something. You shouldn't let his ungrateful arse chase you back into yer own home."

Truth.

Why didn't you tell me before I confessed that you meant the world to me? Or after, when I said how much I love you still...?

Thorne's words continued to haunt her. She had awoken more than one night drenched in sweat with her belly aching, and her limbs filled with numbness.

It wasn't just the rejection of herself that was at issue. It was the rejection of their lost child that ate away at the pit of her stomach. The fact that despite all he had said, all the words they had lunged at each other, a part of Georgie desired him still. Felt like a ship lost at sea with no tether.

How pathetic did that make her?

It was only one of the numerous reasons she refused to leave her chambers. She couldn't find the wherewithal to care overmuch about society. And if Georgie had thought the whispers were bad before, it was nothing compared to the last few days after the gossip column had come out.