Talking to the Moon ✔

-Chapter: Forty-Eight-

The crescent moon did little to help us as we searched for the Monarch. Barq was still tied up and sleeping so it simply meant that Qamar had gone by foot. Silence surrounded  us eerily as if taunting us. I could hear my heart beat and I could feel the warmth of the blood as I searched for him furiously.

Even Laia had woken up and was helping us search. Asad kept calling out for the Monarch and I made sure that I was near his voice, in case, I got lost. I could feel spine tingle and maybe it was imagination, but the shadows were growing larger. The night had taken a darker turn and the voice of the woman echoed in my head.

Betrayal.

Is this what she was talking about? 

I could hear her maniacal laughter. Whoever was she, she sounded mad. She sounded deranged and she scared me in a way that no one else had.

The voice, the laughter, the numbness, it made me tear up. I was scared. I couldn't stop feeling scared.

"You should rest, Ayah." Laia popped out of nowhere and I let out a loud gasp. She looked at me in concern.

Gathering myself, I shook my head in response.

"You need to be fit for the journey ahead of us. We will find him. He must be looking for us too."

I shook my head again. Laia sighed and then looked at me oddly. Giving me a glance that held more meaning than it let on, Laia moved away. I blinked at her confused. The same questions repeating in my head as it had with Qamar. Was something wrong with me?

But I did as I was told as I went and stood beside the horses. I was too worried to actually rest so I looked for comfort in the horses. I stared at Barq trying to figure out his response. He seemed calm, rubbing his head against the bark of the tree with one ear pointing left as he was listening to something. He was not restless, in fact, he seemed disciplined. I looked at the direction his ear was pointed but couldn't see anything. What was he listening to?

I couldn't help but think that this had something to do with Qamar. Maybe Barq was trying to show me something. I bit my lip in confusion and then deciding against standing I walked towards the direction where Barq's ear was pointed. It seemed stupid to do so but at the same time, I knew that animals -- especially horses -- had better instincts that humans.

It would seem that moon had decided to help us with the way it illuminated. It was strange to see the crescent moon glow so extravagantly. Or maybe it was surrounding darkness that made the light from the moon more prominent.

I walked slowly trying to be careful because when it came to the Monarch, one couldn't be too careful. I could hear nothing -- no sign of any type of movements as I walked. The shadows kept to themselves, peering at me but not coming close. I smiled to myself as I walked.

Maybe the Moon was real after all.

It seemed that I  was walking towards the direction of the water body. I could hear the trickle but as listened closely, I could hear something else -- a soft whisper -- no, it was as if someone was sobbing.

I sighed as I saw Qamar, hiding behind a tree with his knees pulled close to his body and his hand on his face.

He looked up removing his hands and his head jerked towards my direction. I let out an involuntary yelp as his grey sparkling eyes bore into mine.

"I saw her." He said looking at me.

I hesitantly took a step towards me unsure whether he was armed or not. I could see the tears brimming in his eyes, ready to flow down his cheek.

"I saw her, she talked to me. It was strange. It was as if she was real and then she....changed."

I stopped at his last word. It came out like a hiss and I could see his jaws twitching in anger. It was not rage, he was not trembling.

"Her voice changed," He continued not even bothering to see if I was actually listening, "She was laughing, laughing, laughing and..."

He looked away.

"...and she said she would kill everyone!"

I froze.

"She said that was the prize of betrayal." Qamar looked at me and his expression had changed, his face was filled with strange innocence, "Why would Iqra say that?"

I shook my head instinctively.

"What do you know!" He yelled balling up his fists; enraged.

"What do you know!" He yelled again, "I am sick and tired! I am sick and tired of all of this. I am sick of your silence. I am sick of the secrets. I am sick of these voices in my head. I am sick and I can feel it taking me in.  I am fighting and I am losing. Now Iqra thinks I betrayed her but she is not real. You are real. Am I mad? Is that what this is? The Mad King..."

He suddenly laughed pushing his backwards and staring at the sky as tears streamed down his chin.

"I am fighting and I am failing..." he continued mostly talking to himself and then he looked chuckling as if he was really amused.

"I don't even know what I am fighting!"

He laughed.

"And then there is Omar..." He said looking at me as if I would recoil by the mention of his name, "My brother...my dear, dear, brother. So scared. So scared of me. He did everything he could to "cure" me but he couldn't come and talk to me!"

He looked at me in fake horror, "I could've killed him. So he sent you! Did I kill you?"

I shook my head and realised that I was crying too.

"Why didn't I?" He asked, "I was so mad, so insane, so out of control; why didn't I kill you?"

I didn't respond.

"Why didn't I?" He sobbed falling on his knees, "What are you! You claim to be real but you are not. I don't think you are. You make the voices go away and you don't even talk. How do you do that, Ay?"

I blinked at him.

He didn't wait for my response, maybe he didn't expect any, "I am losing everyone, Ay. I am losing the fight, I am losing the battle, I am losing my family. I am a loser. My father told me I was a warrior."

He looked at me bemused, "Apparently that wasn't real either. The irony!"

"Why are we here?" He asked me softly, "Omar is probably dead. It could be that the entire palace is burning as we speak. Here we are, playing heroes."

I shook my head furiously and stepped towards me. He simply chuckled.

"So innocent," he said, "I see why my brother likes you."

"I am done," he continued standing up, "But you are not. You are going to fight till the very end, until you are absolutely sure that you have done everything. Your brother is the same, the strength in both of you is admirable. I am not going to fight but I am going to help you. Whatever I am, however I am, you will have to accept that, I can't pretend anymore."