Not Ashamed

'Chapter Twenty Seven ×

I stiffen for a moment, but clear my throat and try to keep my cool. They won't ruin today for me, and they sure as hell won't ruin today for Axel.

A professor stands, making a toast about the wonderful students he's had the pleasure of teaching. He isn't one of my professors, so I'm not interested in what he's saying until everyone starts cheering and shouting in victory for passing the class.

Then, one of my professors, Professor Julianna Kelley, stands.

"I have had an incredible time teaching some of these students. You've all, in my class or not, grown so much over all this time. Like Becca, who has mastered animation and made a half hour video based on our mascot and a banana peel," A round of cheers erupt from Becca's table. I've never spoken to Becca, but she played her video in class once, and it was really good. "Or James, who has been working on a water colour picture of his grandmother, who unfortunately couldn't make it today," Clapping this time. Obviously, cheering wouldn't be appropriate after mentioning James' dead grandmother. "Or Finn, who puts his every emotion and all of his power into even the simplest image and makes it beyond compare. Only you, my friend. It's been a pleasure to teach you all, and I wish upon you all great success!"

Axel squeazes my hand and our table is the one to shout and cheer the loudest after Mrs Kelleys speech is over.

After Mrs Kelley, my father stands.

I grip tighter to Axel's hand in shock, but dad wouldn't embarrass me and himself in front of an entire room of peers and alumnists...

Would he?

"I would like to say some words about Finn, if you all wouldn't mind," he says formally. He glances at me for a moment, before moving his view to the warm eyes of everyone watching him. Clearly from the way they look at him, they all are assuming theres going to be a heartfelt speech from a loving family member. Dear god, I hope they're right.

"My son, Finnick Harrison, has been nothing short of... disappointing. To his career goals, to his sexuality, he has done nothing but bring shame to our name. He is a pathetic excuse for a son. Every follicle of his being is not only useless, but selfish. I refuse to hear the lies you professors will give about my son. He is no artist. His work is not beyond compare. He is a boy, and a stupid one at that. However, I will ask you all to raise your glasses for the students who came here to learn and have a career, not the ones who came to doodle, or sing, or dance, or act. The students who have real futures." He raises his glass of water and downs the whole thing before slamming it back down on the table. "Cheers."

My lip shakes. The room is dead silent. I can't even hear anyone breathing. Axel is speaking to me, but I'm not entirely sure what he's saying. I try to focus just on him.

"Finn? I know it's a stupid question, but are you okay?"

I breath a single, humorless laugh, shaking my head and feeling tears well in my eyes.

"Not really," I whisper.

"We can leave."

I nod and we stand, leaving the dining hall without saying anything.

We walk side by side, but not holding hands like usual. I hear the click clack of heels, and glancing over my shoulder, mom and dad are walking in the same direction. Dad looks overly proud of himself.

"Why, hello Finnick. Leaving your dinner so soon?" He says, somehow keeping his voice from sounding teasing.

"Haven't you done enough?" I reply weakly. Axel lays a hand on my shoulder, trying to calm me. It doesn't work.

"Don't be so childish. This wasn't personal. Simply... revenge." He steps closer, so he's looking down at me like I'm a stain on a white rug, lowering his voice so only I can hear. "You come into my home and embarrass me. You destroy this family name in such an irreversible way. I will not sit idly by." He steps back, just to give me a menacing grin. "Nothing to say, hm? Tough guy? No words of defense."

He turns to mom, and I notice her stiffen a little before she continues walking, passing us.

"Maybe that's because," He whispers, "you know every word I spoke in that room, was true."

He smiles once more, a purely evil smile, and moves to walk back to mom.

"Until I see you again, Finnick. It's been a pleasure, as always, both of you."